Write about the following topic: People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. - Bài mẫu Task 2 - Band 5.5

Write about the following topic:

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Write at least 250 words.

In recent years, the rapid development of information technology and transportation has brought people many advantages. However, there will still be some disadvantages that cannot compare to the advantages it brings.
Today, with the development of information technology, people can work anywhere and at any time. For example, people can exchange information and exchange work via social networks without having to do it at a fixed location or specific time. Not only that, information technology also creates many job opportunities for people with high income levels.
As for the development of transportation, it helps people move easily between different cities or countries. There is no need to stay near work anymore because there is a modern and fast transportation system.
On the contrary, information technology will still have disadvantages such as when social networks develop, people often no longer focus on direct communication but tend to prefer to exchange using social networks. This reduces human communication abilities.
In short, the development of transportation and information technology makes it convenient for people to connect with each other and move easily. Thanks to that, they can find job opportunities with high income and good development opportunities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent years" -> "In the recent years"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "years" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal writing standards by specifying the time period more precisely.
"brought people many advantages" -> "has brought numerous advantages"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "has" corrects the verb tense to match the present perfect aspect, and "numerous" is more formal and precise than "many."
"cannot compare to the advantages it brings" -> "cannot be compared to the advantages it offers"
Explanation: "Cannot be compared to" is grammatically correct and more formal than "cannot compare to." Additionally, "offers" is more precise than "brings" in this context.
"people can work anywhere and at any time" -> "individuals can work from anywhere and at any time"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "from" is more precise than "anywhere" in this context, indicating a location from which work is done.
"exchange information and exchange work" -> "exchange information and conduct work"
Explanation: "Conduct work" is a more formal and precise term than "exchange work," which is vague and potentially confusing.
"Not only that, information technology also creates" -> "Furthermore, information technology also creates"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase than "Not only that," which is somewhat colloquial.
"people with high income levels" -> "individuals with high incomes"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "incomes" is a more precise term than "income levels."
"it helps people move easily" -> "it facilitates easy movement"
Explanation: "Facilitates easy movement" is more concise and formal than "helps people move easily."
"There is no need to stay near work anymore" -> "There is no longer a need to remain near work"
Explanation: "No longer a need to remain near work" is more formal and precise than "no need to stay near work anymore."
"a modern and fast transportation system" -> "a modern and efficient transportation system"
Explanation: "Efficient" is a more precise and formal term than "fast," which can be vague and subjective.
"social networks develop, people often no longer focus on direct communication" -> "as social networks develop, individuals frequently shift their focus away from direct communication"
Explanation: "Individuals frequently shift their focus away from" is more formal and precise than "people often no longer focus on."
"This reduces human communication abilities" -> "This diminishes human communication skills"
Explanation: "Diminishes" is a more formal synonym for "reduces," and "skills" is a more precise term than "abilities" in this context.
"Thanks to that, they can find job opportunities with high income and good development opportunities" -> "Consequently, they can access job opportunities with high salaries and favorable development prospects"
Explanation: "Consequently" is a more formal transitional word than "Thanks to that," and "access job opportunities with high salaries and favorable development prospects" is more precise and formal than "find job opportunities with high income and good development opportunities."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend where people can work and live anywhere due to advancements in technology and transportation. It briefly mentions advantages such as flexible work arrangements and increased job opportunities. However, the disadvantages are not clearly articulated beyond a brief mention of reduced direct communication due to social networks.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide a more balanced and detailed exploration of both advantages and disadvantages. It should delve deeper into how these trends impact individuals and societies, offering specific examples and possibly contrasting viewpoints.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that leans towards the advantages of technological and transportation developments. However, the stance is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. The conclusion reiterates benefits without addressing potential drawbacks in depth.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the essay should clearly state and maintain a balanced perspective from the introduction through to the conclusion. It should anticipate counterarguments and address them to strengthen the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack elaboration and support. For instance, while mentioning job opportunities and flexible work arrangements, the essay does not provide specific examples or elaborate on how these trends manifest in real-life scenarios.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide concrete examples, statistics, or personal experiences to support each point made. It should also extend ideas by discussing potential long-term impacts or contrasting viewpoints to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the impacts of technology and transportation on work and lifestyle choices. However, it briefly deviates in the paragraph about reduced direct communication, which could be more directly tied to the overall topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every point directly relates to the advantages and disadvantages of people working and living anywhere due to technology and transportation. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the main argument.

Overall, while the essay addresses the topic, it falls short in providing a thorough analysis of both advantages and disadvantages. To improve, focus on expanding each point with specific examples and ensuring a consistent stance throughout the essay. This approach will not only strengthen the argument but also enhance clarity and coherence, potentially elevating the band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to structure its points logically, starting with an introduction that briefly outlines both advantages and disadvantages. However, there is inconsistency in the development of ideas. The advantages of information technology and transportation are presented separately, without a clear connection to the overall argument. The conclusion briefly summarizes the benefits without effectively tying back to the disadvantages mentioned earlier.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, it is crucial to maintain a consistent flow of ideas throughout the essay. Start by clearly stating the main advantages and disadvantages in the introduction, then develop each point with supporting details in separate paragraphs. Ensure a clear transition between paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, but the structure of each paragraph could be more effective. Some paragraphs lack topic sentences or clear organization of supporting details. For instance, the paragraph discussing the disadvantages of information technology starts with a general statement and lacks specific examples or elaboration.
- How to improve: Improve paragraph structure by beginning each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. Develop each paragraph with relevant examples or explanations that support the main idea. For example, when discussing the disadvantages of information technology, provide specific instances where direct communication is compromised due to social media usage.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as ‘however’, ‘as for’, and ‘on the contrary’. While these devices help connect some ideas, their usage is somewhat repetitive and limited. More sophisticated cohesive devices such as pronouns (it, they) are used sparingly, affecting the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance coherence, expand the range of cohesive devices used. Incorporate pronouns and referencing words more consistently to maintain coherence within and between sentences. Additionally, consider using transitional phrases and linking words (e.g., furthermore, consequently, nevertheless) to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of coherence and cohesion concepts, there are opportunities for improvement in organizing ideas more logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. These enhancements will contribute to a clearer and more coherent presentation of arguments in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some varied expressions such as "rapid development," "job opportunities," "high income levels," and "direct communication." However, there is a lack of depth and sophistication in lexical choices. For instance, repeated use of basic terms like "information technology" and "social networks" without synonyms or more nuanced vocabulary limits the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating synonyms and more precise vocabulary. For example, instead of repeatedly using "information technology," vary with terms like "digital advancements," "technological innovations," or "cyber infrastructure." Similarly, replace generic terms like "social networks" with more specific terms like "online platforms," "virtual communities," or "digital networks." This will enrich your vocabulary and demonstrate a higher lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately but lacks precision at times. For instance, phrases such as "high income levels" and "good development opportunities" are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific descriptors. On the other hand, terms like "direct communication" are used appropriately to convey a specific idea.
- How to improve: To achieve more precise vocabulary usage, focus on choosing words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Instead of "high income levels," specify with terms like "lucrative employment prospects" or "financially rewarding careers." Similarly, instead of "good development opportunities," use terms like "prospects for professional growth" or "avenues for career advancement." This will add clarity and depth to your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy with no major errors observed. Common words are spelled correctly, such as "advantages," "development," and "transportation."
- How to improve: Maintain this level of accuracy by proofreading carefully for minor errors that could affect clarity, such as typos or inconsistencies in spelling. Consider using spell-check tools and allocating time for review in future essays to ensure consistency and correctness.

Overall, while the essay displays competence in vocabulary usage and spelling, enhancing the range and precision of vocabulary would elevate the lexical resource score. Ensure to vary terminology and aim for more nuanced expressions to further strengthen the essay’s effectiveness in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences predominate, with occasional use of complex structures. For instance, "Today, with the development of information technology, people can work anywhere and at any time" is a complex sentence that effectively introduces a viewpoint. However, more sophisticated structures such as conditional sentences or passive voice are lacking.
- How to improve: To enhance variety, incorporate complex sentences (e.g., conditional sentences, passive voice) where appropriate. This can add depth and clarity to arguments. For example, using passive voice like "Job opportunities are created by information technology for individuals with high income levels" can refine expression and improve grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical coherence, though there are notable instances of errors. For example, "there will still be some disadvantages that cannot compare to the advantages it brings" lacks clarity and could be improved by restructuring for better grammatical accuracy. Additionally, punctuation marks are inconsistently used, affecting the clarity of complex sentences.
- How to improve: Focus on sentence structure and clarity. Revising sentences for better grammatical accuracy, particularly in complex constructions, will strengthen the overall presentation. Additionally, pay attention to the consistent use of punctuation marks to clarify ideas and improve readability.

In summary, while the essay effectively conveys ideas with a clear position and coherent structure, there is room for improvement in expanding sentence variety and enhancing grammatical accuracy. By incorporating more diverse sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the rapid development of information technology and transportation has brought numerous advantages to people. However, there are still some disadvantages that cannot be overlooked compared to the benefits it offers.

Today, with the advancement of information technology, individuals can work from anywhere and at any time. For instance, they can exchange information and conduct work through social networks without being tied to a specific location or timeframe. Furthermore, information technology also creates opportunities for individuals with high incomes.

Regarding transportation, it facilitates easy movement between different cities or even countries. There is no longer a need to remain near work due to the presence of a modern and efficient transportation system.

However, there are drawbacks to consider. As social networks develop, individuals frequently shift their focus away from direct communication to preferring interaction through social platforms. This diminishes human communication skills.

In conclusion, while the development of transportation and information technology enables convenient connectivity and mobility, it also has its drawbacks. Despite these disadvantages, individuals can access job opportunities with high salaries and favorable development prospects. Therefore, the overall impact of these advancements remains largely positive, enhancing flexibility and productivity in the modern workforce.