You have approximately 20 minutes to complete this task. The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words

You have approximately 20 minutes to complete this task.
The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words

The maps illustrate the alteration of a town centre in 1990 and today.
Overall, the town went under several changes with the demolition of shops and the development of apartment blocks while the central buildings remained unchanged.
In the north of the town, several modifications have occured. The five small buildings next to the childcare centre, namely Newsagent's, Grocer's, Baker's, Butcher's and Café were removed making way for a shopping mall. In contrast, the childcare centre experienced no changes. Regarding the town hall, library, and park in the centre of this town still exists until now.
Concerning the housing areas, in 1990, there were all detached houses located in the southern part of this town. However, these houses were replaced by apartment blocks after 1990 while the northeastern bank is still there, another bank which is opposite to it in the east was demolished at an expense of a coffee shop. Meanwhile, the road systems remained unchanged except for some zebra crossings were added and Smith Street became exclusive to pedestrians.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"maps illustrate" -> "the maps depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is more precise and formal than "illustrate" in this context, enhancing the academic tone of the introduction.
"alteration of a town centre" -> "transformation of the town center"
Explanation: "Transformation" is a more specific and formal term than "alteration," and "center" should be capitalized as it refers to a specific location.
"went under several changes" -> "underwent several changes"
Explanation: "Underwent" is the correct verb form for describing the experience of change, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.
"the central buildings remained unchanged" -> "the central structures remained unchanged"
Explanation: "Structures" is a more encompassing term that includes buildings, roads, and other infrastructure, making it more appropriate in this context.
"several modifications have occured" -> "several modifications have occurred"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "occurred" to maintain professionalism and accuracy.
"The five small buildings next to the childcare centre" -> "The five small structures adjacent to the childcare center"
Explanation: "Structures" is preferred over "buildings" for a broader scope, and "adjacent to" is more precise than "next to" in formal writing.
"making way for a shopping mall" -> "to make way for a shopping mall"
Explanation: "To make way for" is the correct prepositional phrase, enhancing the grammatical accuracy of the sentence.
"Regarding the town hall, library, and park" -> "Regarding the town hall, library, and park"
Explanation: No change needed, as the original is correct and formal.
"still exists until now" -> "remains to this day"
Explanation: "Remains to this day" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express continuity over time.
"Concerning the housing areas" -> "Regarding the residential areas"
Explanation: "Residential areas" is a more specific and formal term than "housing areas," aligning better with academic style.
"all detached houses" -> "all detached residences"
Explanation: "Residences" is a more formal and precise term than "houses" in this context, fitting better in academic writing.
"were replaced by apartment blocks" -> "were replaced with apartment blocks"
Explanation: "With" is the correct preposition to use when indicating substitution, improving the grammatical accuracy.
"at an expense of a coffee shop" -> "at the expense of a coffee shop"
Explanation: "At the expense of" is the correct idiomatic expression, enhancing clarity and formality.
"some zebra crossings were added" -> "some zebra crossings were installed"
Explanation: "Installed" is a more specific verb than "added," which is vague and less formal in this context.
"Smith Street became exclusive to pedestrians" -> "Smith Street was converted to pedestrian-only access"
Explanation: "Was converted to pedestrian-only access" is more precise and formal, providing a clearer description of the change.

These changes enhance the formal tone, improve grammatical accuracy, and refine the vocabulary to be more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the town centre, highlighting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. The essay adequately covers the key features of the maps, but some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the bank in the east was demolished at the expense of a coffee shop. This is not accurate, as the bank was simply replaced by a coffee shop.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant changes and providing more accurate information. For example, the essay could focus on the development of the shopping mall and the apartment blocks, and it could provide more specific details about the changes to the road system. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "several modifications have occurred," the essay could say "the five small buildings were demolished and replaced by a shopping mall."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, and there is a clear overall progression from one part of the town to another. The use of cohesive devices is effective but somewhat mechanical, and there are occasional lapses in cohesion within and between sentences. For example, the phrase "Regarding the town hall, library, and park in the centre of this town still exists until now" is awkward and could be more smoothly integrated. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically, as the information about the housing areas and banks could be better organized into separate paragraphs for clarity.

How to improve:

Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to make the transitions between ideas smoother. For instance, instead of "Regarding the town hall, library, and park in the centre of this town still exists until now," you could say, "The town hall, library, and park in the center have remained unchanged."
Improve Paragraphing: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. For example, separate the discussion of housing areas and banks into distinct paragraphs to improve clarity and focus.
Refine Sentence Structure: Avoid mechanical use of cohesive devices and ensure that sentences flow naturally. For example, "In contrast, the childcare centre experienced no changes" could be better integrated into the preceding sentence for smoother reading.
Clear Referencing: Make sure that references are clear and appropriate. For example, instead of "another bank which is opposite to it in the east was demolished at an expense of a coffee shop," you could say, "the bank opposite the northeastern bank was replaced by a coffee shop."

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for clear communication of the main features of the maps. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "alteration," "demolition," and "modifications," but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing, such as "went under several changes" and "the northeastern bank is still there." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "occured" instead of "occurred," which slightly detracts from the overall clarity but does not impede communication.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise word choices. They should also work on improving grammatical accuracy and ensuring correct spelling. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can enhance fluency and flexibility in vocabulary usage. Finally, proofreading for minor errors before submission would help in reducing slips that affect the overall impression of lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. There are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues present, such as "have occured" (should be "have occurred") and "the town hall, library, and park in the centre of this town still exists" (should be "still exist"). These errors do not significantly hinder communication, but they do detract from the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing. The essay maintains a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion, but the grammatical inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing prevent it from achieving a higher band score.
How to improve: To improve the score, focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Increasing the variety of sentence structures and using more complex forms accurately will also help. Additionally, practicing the use of punctuation correctly will contribute to clearer communication. Engaging with more advanced grammatical structures and seeking feedback on writing can further aid in achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps illustrate the alterations of a town centre in 1990 and today. Overall, the town has undergone several changes, including the demolition of shops and the development of apartment blocks, while the central buildings have remained unchanged.

In the north of the town, several modifications have occurred. The five small buildings next to the childcare centre, namely the newsagent’s, grocer’s, baker’s, butcher’s, and café, were removed to make way for a shopping mall. In contrast, the childcare centre has experienced no changes. The town hall, library, and park in the centre of the town still exist today.

Regarding the housing areas, in 1990, there were only detached houses located in the southern part of the town. However, these houses were replaced by apartment blocks after 1990. The northeastern bank is still present, while another bank opposite it to the east was demolished to make space for a coffee shop. Meanwhile, the road system has remained unchanged, except for the addition of some zebra crossings, and Smith Street has become exclusive to pedestrians.