You have received an invitation to a birthday party. Write a letter accepting the invitation and suggesting that you organize the music.

Dear Wein,
I hope this message finds you well. I was thrilled to receive your invitation to your birthday party. It sounds like a wonderful gala, and I am glad to participate in the party.
It is lucky that the party celebrate at 5 p.m on October 3rd due to the fact that I get off work at 4p.m and I have enough time to prepare for the party. Moreover, the event venue in Cami beach where not far from my house. I will attend early and share joyful with you.
In addition, I want to organize for the party. Music can help the atmosphere more exciting and entertain. Moreover, everyone can dance with other to connect and make new friends. People can change-over perform in stage with their talent.
Once again, thank you for inviting me. We await the event with great anticipation
Best wishes,
Huy Hop

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Dear Wein," -> "Dear Wein"
Explanation: The comma after "Dear" is unnecessary in formal letters, and "Wein" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun, likely referring to a person’s name.
"I hope this message finds you well." -> "I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits."
Explanation: "Message" is less formal than "letter," and "in good health and spirits" is a more formal way to express a greeting than "well."
"I was thrilled to receive your invitation to your birthday party." -> "I am delighted to accept your invitation to your birthday celebration."
Explanation: "Delighted" is more formal than "thrilled," and "celebration" is a more formal term than "party."
"It sounds like a wonderful gala," -> "It appears to be a magnificent gala"
Explanation: "Appears to be" is more formal than "sounds like," and "magnificent" is more precise and formal than "wonderful."
"I am glad to participate in the party." -> "I am pleased to attend the celebration."
Explanation: "Attend" is more formal than "participate in," and "celebration" is preferred over "party" in formal contexts.
"It is lucky that the party celebrate at 5 p.m on October 3rd" -> "It is fortunate that the celebration is scheduled for 5 p.m on October 3rd"
Explanation: "Fortunate" is more formal than "lucky," and "scheduled" is more precise than "celebrate."
"due to the fact that I get off work at 4p.m and I have enough time to prepare for the party." -> "since I finish work at 4 p.m. and have sufficient time to prepare for the celebration."
Explanation: "Finish work" is more formal than "get off work," and "sufficient" is more precise than "enough." Also, "celebration" is preferred over "party" in formal writing.
"the event venue in Cami beach where not far from my house." -> "the event venue at Cami Beach, which is not far from my residence."
Explanation: "At" is the correct preposition for specifying a location, and "residence" is more formal than "house." Also, "Cami Beach" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun.
"I will attend early and share joyful with you." -> "I will arrive early and share joy with you."
Explanation: "Arrive" is more specific than "attend," and "joy" is the correct noun form, not "joyful."
"I want to organize for the party." -> "I would like to organize the party."
Explanation: "Would like" is more polite and formal than "want," and "organize the party" is grammatically correct.
"Music can help the atmosphere more exciting and entertain." -> "Music can enhance the atmosphere and make it more exciting and entertaining."
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise than "help," and "make it more exciting and entertaining" is grammatically correct.
"everyone can dance with other to connect and make new friends." -> "everyone can dance with others to connect and form new friendships."
Explanation: "Others" is the correct plural form, and "form new friendships" is more formal and precise than "make new friends."
"People can change-over perform in stage with their talent." -> "Individuals can take turns performing on stage with their talents."
Explanation: "Take turns" is more specific and formal than "change-over," and "performing on stage" is grammatically correct.
"We await the event with great anticipation" -> "We eagerly await the event."
Explanation: "Eagerly" is more formal and precise than "with great anticipation," which is somewhat redundant.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the invitation and expresses excitement about attending the birthday party, which is a positive aspect. However, it lacks a comprehensive response to the prompt’s requirement to suggest organizing the music. While there is a brief mention of wanting to organize music, it is not elaborated upon, leaving the reader unclear about specific ideas or plans for the music.
- How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should clearly outline their ideas for organizing the music. This could include suggesting specific genres, playlists, or even proposing to hire a DJ or create a playlist. Providing details would enhance the response and ensure all aspects of the prompt are covered.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay conveys enthusiasm about attending the party, but the position regarding organizing the music is vague and lacks clarity. The statement "I want to organize for the party" is not sufficiently clear or assertive, which can confuse the reader about the writer’s intentions.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their desire to take charge of the music and provide a rationale for why this would enhance the party. Using phrases like "I would love to take responsibility for organizing the music because…" would strengthen the position and make it more evident.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about music enhancing the atmosphere, but these ideas are not well-developed or supported. For example, the mention of "everyone can dance with other to connect" is a good point but lacks specific examples or elaboration on how the music will facilitate this.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should elaborate on the benefits of music at the party. This could include discussing how different types of music can create various moods or how specific songs might resonate with the guests. Providing examples or anecdotes could also make the argument more compelling.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the invitation and the music suggestion. However, there are moments where the writing becomes slightly off-topic, such as the mention of the writer’s work schedule and the location of the party, which could be more concise.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should prioritize relevant information directly related to the party and the music organization. Reducing extraneous details about personal circumstances would help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt. A more streamlined approach would enhance clarity and relevance.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should ensure all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed, maintain a clear and consistent position, provide well-supported ideas, and stay focused on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical manner. The writer begins with an expression of gratitude for the invitation, followed by details about the party’s timing and location, and concludes with a suggestion to organize music. However, the transition between thoughts could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the party’s timing to the suggestion about music feels abrupt and lacks a clear connection.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that link ideas more clearly. For instance, after discussing the timing, you could add a sentence like, "With that in mind, I would love to contribute to the party by organizing the music." This would create a more cohesive connection between the different parts of the letter.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured in a single block of text, which can make it challenging for the reader to follow the writer’s thoughts. While the content is relevant, the lack of paragraphing detracts from the overall readability and organization of the essay. Each main idea could be more effectively communicated if separated into distinct paragraphs.
- How to improve: Implementing clear paragraph breaks would greatly enhance the clarity of the essay. For example, you could start a new paragraph after expressing excitement about the invitation and another after discussing the timing and location. This would allow each idea to stand out and be more easily digestible for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "moreover" and "in addition," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can make the writing feel monotonous. For instance, "Moreover" appears twice in close succession, which could be varied for better effect.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, you could use "Furthermore," "Additionally," or "On top of that" to introduce new ideas. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms can help maintain cohesion without relying solely on conjunctions. For instance, instead of repeating "the party," you could use "the event" in subsequent references.

By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall effectiveness of the communication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "thrilled to receive," "wonderful gala," and "share joyful." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the phrase "I am glad to participate in the party" could be enhanced with more varied expressions such as "I am excited to be a part of your celebration."
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms and more descriptive language. For example, instead of repeating "party," you might use "celebration," "gathering," or "event." Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs can enrich the writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the party celebrate at 5 p.m" should be "the party is celebrated at 5 p.m." The phrase "share joyful" is also awkward; it would be clearer as "share in the joy" or "celebrate together."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Reviewing common collocations (words that frequently go together) can help. For instance, instead of "organize for the party," you could say "organize the music for the party." This not only improves precision but also enhances the overall flow of the writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "celebrate" (should be "is celebrated"), "Cami beach" (should be "Cami Beach"), and "change-over perform in stage" (should be "perform on stage"). These errors detract from the professionalism of the letter.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling common words and phrases, as well as using spell-check tools, can help catch errors. Creating a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly may also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay meets some basic criteria for lexical resource, addressing the noted weaknesses will help elevate the score. Focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling will contribute to a more polished and effective letter.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For example, "It is lucky that the party celebrate at 5 p.m on October 3rd" uses a basic structure but contains grammatical errors. The phrase "I will attend early and share joyful with you" is also simplistic and awkward. The use of phrases like "Moreover" and "In addition" indicates an attempt to connect ideas, but the overall variety in structure is insufficient to achieve a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For instance, instead of saying "I will attend early and share joyful with you," you could say, "I will arrive early so that I can share in the joy of your celebration." Additionally, using different sentence beginnings and varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging narrative.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "the party celebrate" should be "the party is celebrated," indicating a misunderstanding of verb forms. The phrase "4p.m" lacks a space, which is a punctuation error. Additionally, "share joyful with you" should be "share joy with you," as "joyful" is an adjective and not appropriate in this context. The sentence "Music can help the atmosphere more exciting and entertain" is also grammatically incorrect; it should read "Music can make the atmosphere more exciting and entertaining."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review verb tenses and forms, ensuring they agree with the subject. Practicing sentence construction can help in recognizing the correct use of adjectives and adverbs. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors, such as spacing and comma placement, will enhance clarity. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct mistakes before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay conveys the intended message, addressing the identified weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Dear Wein,**

I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits. I was delighted to receive your invitation to your birthday celebration. It appears to be a magnificent gala, and I am pleased to attend the event.

It is fortunate that the celebration is scheduled for 5 p.m. on October 3rd, since I finish work at 4 p.m. and have sufficient time to prepare for the party. Moreover, the event venue at Cami Beach is not far from my residence, which makes it even more convenient. I will arrive early to share joy with you.

Additionally, I would like to organize the music for the party. Music can enhance the atmosphere and make it more exciting and entertaining. Furthermore, everyone can dance with others to connect and form new friendships. Individuals can take turns performing on stage with their talents, which would add a special touch to the celebration.

Once again, thank you for inviting me. We eagerly await the event with great anticipation.

Best wishes,
Huy Hop