You should spend 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart gives information on the proportion of people who got access to news via four media ( television, newspapers, radio and the internet ) in the only country in 2013, 2015 and 2017.

Overall, it can be seen clearly from the chart that while the data of citizens who used television, radio and newspapers decreased slightly, that of the internet went up significantly. It is also noteworthy that the statistics of TV viewers consistently remained the highest through the period.

To be specific, in 2013 the percentage of television was the highest with about 80%, followed by that of newspaper readers which was the second highest with just over 40%. However, four years later, these figures dropped to around 70% and 20%, respectively.

The number of radio listeners and the internet was the same, at approximately 30% in 2013. By contrast, over a four year-period, while the former went down slightly to 30%, the latter grew dramatically to just under 70%, which helped the proportion of the internet hit the highest point.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"got access to" -> "had access to"
Explanation: "Had access to" is a more formal and precise expression, fitting better in an academic context than the more casual "got access to."
"the only country" -> "the single country"
Explanation: "The single country" is more precise and formal than "the only country," which can imply uniqueness in a way that may not be intended here.
"went up significantly" -> "increased significantly"
Explanation: "Increased significantly" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than the colloquial "went up."
"the statistics of TV viewers" -> "the television viewership statistics"
Explanation: "Television viewership statistics" is a more specific and formal term that clarifies the subject matter.
"the number of radio listeners and the internet" -> "the number of radio listeners and internet users"
Explanation: "Internet users" is a more precise term than "the internet," which is an incorrect usage as "the internet" is not a countable noun.
"the latter grew dramatically to just under 70%" -> "the latter increased substantially to nearly 70%"
Explanation: "Increased substantially" is more formal than "grew dramatically," and "nearly" is a more precise quantifier than "just under."
"hit the highest point" -> "reached its highest point"
Explanation: "Reached its highest point" is more formal and precise, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "hit the highest point."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the chart, including the overall trend of decreasing use of traditional media and increasing use of the internet. The essay also highlights key features, such as the consistently high use of television and the dramatic increase in internet use. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant, such as the statement that the internet use "helped the proportion of the internet hit the highest point."

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis of the key features and by avoiding irrelevant details. For example, the essay could discuss the specific percentage changes in each media type over the four-year period. The essay could also provide more specific examples of the key features, such as the fact that television use decreased by 10% between 2013 and 2017.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the main body. The use of cohesive devices is evident, though there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as the transitions between ideas could be smoother. While the central topics of each paragraph are identifiable, the lack of varied cohesive devices and occasional repetition detracts from the overall effectiveness.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer could focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions logically into the next would improve the overall structure. Incorporating more varied sentence structures and avoiding repetitive phrases would also contribute to a more engaging and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, effectively conveying the main features of the bar chart. However, there are attempts to use less common vocabulary that are not entirely accurate, such as "got access to news" instead of a more formal phrase like "accessed news." Additionally, there are some errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the statistics of TV viewers consistently remained the highest through the period," which could be more clearly expressed. Spelling and word formation errors are minimal, but there are instances where clarity is compromised, such as "the number of radio listeners and the internet was the same," which could confuse readers. Overall, while the essay communicates the main ideas, the inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision. This includes practicing the use of formal phrases and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used accurately. Additionally, the writer should aim to reduce errors in word choice and improve sentence structure for clarity. Engaging with more complex vocabulary and practicing paraphrasing can also help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. The writer attempts to convey the information clearly, but there are noticeable grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that occasionally hinder communication. For example, phrases like "the only country" and "the internet was the same" could be clearer. Additionally, the use of "which helped the proportion of the internet hit the highest point" is somewhat awkward and could be rephrased for better clarity. Overall, while the essay communicates the main features of the chart, the presence of errors and some awkward phrasing limits the score to Band 6.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Enhancing Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy.
Minimizing Errors: Proofread the essay to catch and correct grammatical and punctuation errors.
Improving Clarity: Use clearer phrasing and avoid ambiguous expressions to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Developing Ideas: Provide more detailed comparisons and analyses of the data presented in the chart to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the information.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart provides information on the proportion of people accessing news through four media (television, newspapers, radio, and the internet) in a particular country in 2013, 2015, and 2017.

Overall, it is evident from the chart that while the percentages of citizens using television, radio, and newspapers decreased slightly, the proportion accessing news via the internet increased significantly. It is also noteworthy that the statistics for TV viewers consistently remained the highest throughout the period.

Specifically, in 2013, the percentage of television users was the highest at approximately 80%, followed by newspaper readers, who accounted for just over 40%. However, four years later, these figures dropped to around 70% and 20%, respectively.

The number of radio listeners and internet users was the same, at approximately 30% in 2013. In contrast, over the four-year period, while the former remained stable at 30%, the latter grew dramatically to just under 70%, allowing the proportion of internet users to reach its peak.