You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wherever relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wherever relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The bar graph delineates the amount of emitted carbon, in thousands of metric tons, surveyed in different six nations, spanning from 1975 to 2005.

Overall, while most countries exhibited an upward trend in releasing gases to the environment, Germany and the UK showed opposite tendencies. Additionally, USA was a consistently leading factor attributing to the carbon emission.

Regarding the increasing contributions, The USA maintained its lead for all the given years, at approximately 1200000, 1250000, and 1600000 respectively. Similarly, China, which displayed a remarkable increase, reaching a peak that only below the US, at roughly 1550000. India, starting as the lowest gas-released country, showcased a progressive escalation throughout the time frame. This trajectory is subsequently followed by Canada, however, there was a marginal augmentation for its amount of carbons expelled into air.

Concerning the remaining categories, Germany, which the first two years 1975 and 1995 can be observed that it manifested a fair stability of about 300000 over the years, along with a slight diminution of 100000 in the last of the period, whereas the United Kingdom remained steadily over the period, with a bottom of 200000 thousand of tons lower at the middle of the researched time scale.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the amount of emitted carbon" -> "the volume of carbon emissions"
Explanation: "Volume" is a more precise term in this context, and "carbon emissions" is the standard phrase used in environmental studies, enhancing clarity and formality.
"surveyed in different six nations" -> "surveyed across six different nations"
Explanation: The phrase "across six different nations" is more grammatically correct and flows better, as "different" should precede the noun it modifies.
"the USA was a consistently leading factor attributing to the carbon emission" -> "the USA consistently led in carbon emissions"
Explanation: This revision simplifies the phrase and uses "led" as a more direct verb, improving clarity and conciseness.
"at approximately 1200000, 1250000, and 1600000 respectively" -> "at approximately 1,200,000, 1,250,000, and 1,600,000, respectively"
Explanation: Adding commas improves readability of large numbers, aligning with academic standards for numerical representation.
"which displayed a remarkable increase, reaching a peak that only below the US" -> "which displayed a remarkable increase, reaching a peak that was only below that of the US"
Explanation: The phrase "that was only below that of the US" clarifies the comparison and corrects the grammatical structure.
"showcased a progressive escalation throughout the time frame" -> "demonstrated a steady increase throughout the time frame"
Explanation: "Demonstrated" is more formal than "showcased," and "steady increase" is clearer and more precise than "progressive escalation."
"however, there was a marginal augmentation for its amount of carbons expelled into air" -> "however, there was a marginal increase in the volume of carbon expelled into the atmosphere"
Explanation: "Marginal increase" is more precise than "marginal augmentation," and "the atmosphere" is the correct term in this context.
"which the first two years 1975 and 1995 can be observed that it manifested a fair stability" -> "in which, during the first two years, 1975 and 1995, it exhibited relative stability"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and uses "exhibited relative stability," which is more formal and precise.
"along with a slight diminution of 100000 in the last of the period" -> "along with a slight decrease of 100,000 in the final year of the period"
Explanation: "Decrease" is a more commonly used term in academic writing than "diminution," and specifying "final year" improves clarity.
"whereas the United Kingdom remained steadily over the period, with a bottom of 200000 thousand of tons lower at the middle of the researched time scale" -> "whereas the United Kingdom remained stable throughout the period, with a low point of 200,000 tons in the middle of the observed time frame"
Explanation: "Stable" is more precise than "remained steadily," and "low point" is clearer than "bottom," improving the overall clarity and formality of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the information presented in the bar graph. However, the essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or differences in carbon emissions. The essay also presents some inaccurate information, such as the statement that China’s carbon emissions reached a peak that was only below the US. The essay also focuses on details rather than providing a clear overview of the main features of the graph.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends and differences in carbon emissions. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features of the graph, rather than providing detailed descriptions of each country’s emissions. The essay should also be checked for accuracy.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. The main features of the bar graph are summarized, and comparisons are made between the countries regarding their carbon emissions. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be improved. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some ideas could be better organized to enhance clarity.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving the logical organization of ideas within paragraphs. This can be done by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that supporting details are presented in a more structured way. Additionally, varying the use of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions between sentences and ideas are smooth will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Finally, refining the use of referencing and substitution can help avoid repetition and improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "emitted carbon" instead of "carbon emissions" and "gas-released country" instead of "country with the lowest emissions." Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "diminution" which is not commonly used in this context. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do detract from the overall clarity and precision of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using it more accurately in context. This includes ensuring proper collocations and avoiding awkward phrasing. Additionally, minimizing spelling and word formation errors will enhance the overall quality of the essay. Practicing with a wider range of vocabulary and seeking feedback on word choice can also help improve lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at using complex structures, the overall grammatical range is limited, and there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, phrases such as "the amount of emitted carbon" and "the last of the period" show awkward constructions that may confuse the reader. Additionally, there are instances of incorrect article usage and preposition errors, such as "in the last of the period" instead of "at the end of the period." However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the reader to understand the overall message.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in their sentence constructions. This could involve practicing more complex sentence forms, reducing grammatical errors, and enhancing punctuation accuracy. Additionally, improving clarity in expression and avoiding awkward phrases will help strengthen the overall coherence of the essay. Regular practice with feedback on grammatical accuracy can also contribute to improvement in this area.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar graph delineates the amount of carbon emissions, measured in thousands of metric tons, from six different countries over three distinct years, spanning from 1975 to 2005.

Overall, while most countries exhibited an upward trend in carbon emissions, Germany and the UK showed opposite tendencies. Additionally, the USA consistently emerged as the leading contributor to carbon emissions.

In terms of increasing contributions, the USA maintained its lead throughout the given years, with emissions of approximately 1,200,000, 1,250,000, and 1,600,000 metric tons, respectively. Similarly, China displayed a remarkable increase, reaching a peak just below that of the USA, at roughly 1,550,000 metric tons. India, starting as the country with the lowest emissions, showcased a progressive escalation throughout the time frame. This trajectory was subsequently followed by Canada; however, there was only a marginal increase in its carbon emissions.

Regarding the remaining categories, Germany exhibited relative stability in the first two years, 1975 and 1995, with emissions of about 300,000 metric tons. This was accompanied by a slight decrease of 100,000 metric tons by the end of the period. In contrast, the United Kingdom maintained a steady level of emissions throughout the period, with a low point of 200,000 metric tons in the middle of the researched time scale.