You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The two line graphs depicts the data calculate by hundred people in four different cities of subscripting fixed phone and mobile phone throughout a period of ten years from 2005 to 2015.
Overall, with fixed phone subscriptions per hundred people we can see mostly stable trends in the total of 4 cities. However, mobile phone subscriptions witnessed an opposite trend when only Eritrea and UK remain nearly stable.
In the first graph, UK was in the lead although having a down trend with a peak of nearly 6000 people in 2005 and reach the lowest pint of 5500 people subscribed to fixed telephone. Uruguay had around 3200 users in 2005 and 3500 users in 2015. India and Eritrea shared the same amount of 4000 users.
In the graph about mobile phone subscriptions, Uruguay had a rocket upward trend from 4000 users in 2005 to nearly 150000 users in 2015. Next is UK, started from 101000 users in 2005 to about 120000 users after 10 years. India was also the same with Uruguay which started at 1000 users to approximately 70000 users in 2015. Lastly, Eritrea trend was stable for around 1000 users in 2005 to 3000 users. in 2015.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The two line graphs depicts" -> "The two line graphs depict"
   Explanation: "Depict" is the correct verb form when referring to multiple graphs, as it is the plural form of "depict."

2. "data calculate by hundred people" -> "data calculated for every hundred people"
   Explanation: "Data calculate" is grammatically incorrect. "Data calculated for every hundred people" corrects the verb tense and adds clarity to the meaning.

3. "subscripting fixed phone and mobile phone" -> "subscriptions to fixed and mobile phones"
   Explanation: "Subscripting" is not a standard term in this context; "subscriptions to" is the correct phrase for referring to the act of acquiring or using a service.

4. "throughout a period of ten years from 2005 to 2015" -> "over a ten-year period from 2005 to 2015"
   Explanation: "Over a ten-year period" is a more concise and formal way to express the duration of time.

5. "we can see mostly stable trends" -> "the trends appear to be mostly stable"
   Explanation: "The trends appear to be" is a more formal and precise way to express observation in academic writing.

6. "opposite trend" -> "contrasting trend"
   Explanation: "Contrasting trend" is a more precise term that better describes the difference in trends between fixed and mobile phone subscriptions.

7. "reach the lowest pint" -> "reach its lowest point"
   Explanation: "Pint" is a unit of volume and is incorrectly used here. "Point" is the correct term for referring to a lowest or highest level.

8. "rocket upward trend" -> "rapid upward trend"
   Explanation: "Rocket upward trend" is an idiom and is too informal for academic writing. "Rapid upward trend" is a more formal alternative.

9. "Next is UK, started from" -> "Next is the UK, which started from"
   Explanation: Adding "which" clarifies the relationship between the subject and the verb, and "the UK" should be capitalized as it refers to a proper noun.

10. "was also the same with" -> "was similarly"
    Explanation: "Was also the same with" is awkward and informal. "Was similarly" is more concise and formal.

11. "started at 1000 users to approximately 70000 users" -> "began with approximately 1000 users and reached around 70,000 users"
    Explanation: "Begun with" and "reached around" are more precise and formal expressions suitable for academic writing.

12. "trend was stable for around 1000 users in 2005 to 3000 users. in 2015" -> "the trend remained stable, with approximately 1000 users in 2005 and 3000 users in 2015"
    Explanation: Adding "the" before "trend" clarifies the subject, and "remained stable" is a more formal way to describe continuity in data trends.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, and the information is recounted mechanically with no clear overview. The essay presents key features, but inadequately covers them. There is a tendency to focus on details.

How to improve: The essay needs to be more concise and focused on the main trends. The writer should provide a clear overview of the information, highlighting the key features and making comparisons where relevant. The essay should also avoid unnecessary detail and focus on the main points.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and clarity. While it attempts to summarize the data from the line graphs, the connections between ideas are not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and sometimes inaccurate, which affects the coherence of the essay. Additionally, there are instances of repetition and a lack of effective referencing, particularly in how the data is presented. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some ideas could be better grouped together for clearer understanding.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately would help connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, improving the clarity of referencing and substitution would reduce repetition. Finally, ensuring that paragraphs are structured around clear central topics would contribute to a more coherent overall response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the main features of the line graphs, the vocabulary used is often basic and repetitive, such as "users," "subscriptions," and "people." There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "depicts the data calculate by hundred people," which should be "depicts the data calculated per hundred people." Additionally, there are issues with spelling and grammar, such as "down trend" (should be "downward trend") and "reach the lowest pint" (should be "reached the lowest point"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader and hinder the overall clarity of the message.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are appropriate for the context. Additionally, focusing on correct spelling and grammatical structures will improve clarity. Incorporating synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily utilizing simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures. However, the accuracy of these attempts is inconsistent, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For instance, phrases such as "the two line graphs depicts" and "having a down trend" contain subject-verb agreement errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, can cause confusion for the reader. While the overall message is communicated, the errors present may hinder clarity and understanding.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

1. Subject-Verb Agreement: Ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number (e.g., "the two line graphs depict" instead of "depicts").
2. Complex Sentences: Practice forming more complex sentences correctly, ensuring that subordinate clauses are used accurately.
3. Punctuation: Review punctuation rules, particularly for compound and complex sentences, to improve clarity.
4. Proofreading: Take time to proofread the essay to catch and correct grammatical errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two line graphs depict the data calculated per hundred people in four different countries regarding subscriptions to fixed and mobile phone lines over a period of ten years from 2005 to 2015.

Overall, fixed phone subscriptions per hundred people exhibited mostly stable trends across the four countries. In contrast, mobile phone subscriptions experienced a significant upward trend, with only Eritrea and the UK remaining relatively stable.

In the first graph, the UK led in fixed phone subscriptions, despite a downward trend, peaking at nearly 6000 subscribers in 2005 and reaching a low of 5500 subscribers by 2015. Uruguay had around 3200 users in 2005, increasing to 3500 users in 2015. India and Eritrea both maintained a consistent level of approximately 4000 users throughout the period.

In the graph illustrating mobile phone subscriptions, Uruguay experienced a dramatic increase from 4000 users in 2005 to nearly 150000 users in 2015. Following this, the UK started with 101000 users in 2005 and rose to about 120000 users after ten years. India showed a similar trend to Uruguay, beginning with 1000 users and reaching approximately 70000 users by 2015. Lastly, Eritrea’s trend remained stable, increasing from around 1000 users in 2005 to 3000 users in 2015.