You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The table below shows the production of milk annually in four countries in 1990. 2000 and 2010. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.
the table illustrates the number of milk which production annually in four nations in 1990, 2000 and 2010.
Overall, there are two groups of nation manufatures milk in 1990, 2000 and 2010. First group nation includes netherlands and Australia is the most highest percentage of production of milk start at over 9 miliions litres and end at approximately 11 millions litres. In contrast, The second group nation are Tanzania and Guatemala that have lower rate of production of milk begin at 26 thousand litres and end at 1,55 millions in a same period.
Initially, Netherlands was the bigest manufature milk in 1990, 2000 and 2010. The amount production of milk in netherlands experienced a consistant climb start at 11,262,000 litres in 1990 and a gradual decline about one hundreds thousand litres for 10 years later however folowing 10 years, it reach a peak at 11,466,000 millions litres. Although Australia was the second countries of production of milk but the number of milk was plunge significantly, start at 11,246,000 litres in 1990 and hit a low of 9,165,000 litres in 2010. Despite the fact that Tanzania is the second nation of lowest of milk but althought they was the most nation rocket dramatically production of milk, start at 87 thousand litres and reach a peak at 1,55,000 litres during the same period. While Guatemala is the lowest manufature of milk , they was still a rapid increase.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"the table illustrates the number of milk which production annually" -> "the table illustrates the annual production of milk"
Explanation: Simplifying "the number of milk which production annually" to "the annual production of milk" clarifies the meaning and removes unnecessary complexity, making it more direct and appropriate for academic writing. -
"nation manufatures milk" -> "nations manufacture milk"
Explanation: Correcting "nation manufatures" to "nations manufacture" corrects the plural form and verb agreement, ensuring grammatical accuracy and clarity. -
"First group nation includes netherlands and Australia" -> "The first group of nations includes the Netherlands and Australia"
Explanation: Adding "of nations" and capitalizing "Netherlands" corrects the phrase structure and adheres to formal English conventions. -
"is the most highest percentage" -> "has the highest percentage"
Explanation: Replacing "is the most highest" with "has the highest" corrects the grammatical error and simplifies the expression, making it more natural and precise. -
"start at over 9 miliions litres" -> "started at over 9 million litres"
Explanation: Correcting "miliions" to "million" and "start" to "started" fixes spelling and verb tense inconsistencies, enhancing readability and accuracy. -
"end at approximately 11 millions litres" -> "ended at approximately 11 million litres"
Explanation: Similar correction as above, ensuring consistency in verb tense and spelling. -
"The second group nation are" -> "The second group of nations are"
Explanation: Adding "of" and capitalizing "nations" corrects the prepositional phrase and adheres to grammatical rules. -
"have lower rate of production of milk" -> "have a lower rate of milk production"
Explanation: Reordering "of milk production" to "milk production" improves the flow and clarity of the sentence. -
"begin at 26 thousand litres" -> "began at 26,000 litres"
Explanation: Correcting "begin" to "began" for verb tense consistency and adding commas for readability. -
"bigest manufature milk" -> "biggest milk manufacturer"
Explanation: Correcting "bigest" to "biggest" and "manufature" to "manufacturer" fixes spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing the formal tone. -
"a consistant climb" -> "a consistent climb"
Explanation: Correcting "consistant" to "consistent" fixes a spelling error, ensuring accuracy. -
"a gradual decline about one hundreds thousand litres" -> "a gradual decline of approximately 100,000 litres"
Explanation: Replacing "about one hundreds thousand" with "approximately 100,000" corrects the numerical expression and enhances clarity. -
"folowing 10 years" -> "following 10 years"
Explanation: Correcting "folowing" to "following" fixes a spelling error. -
"hit a low of 9,165,000 litres" -> "reached a low of 9,165,000 litres"
Explanation: Replacing "hit" with "reached" uses a more appropriate verb for describing a decrease in quantity. -
"althought they was the most nation rocket dramatically production of milk" -> "although they were the nation with the most dramatic increase in milk production"
Explanation: Correcting "althought" to "although" and "was" to "were" for subject-verb agreement, and rephrasing for clarity and grammatical correctness. -
"lowest manufature of milk" -> "lowest milk manufacturer"
Explanation: Correcting "lowest manufature" to "lowest milk manufacturer" fixes spelling and grammatical errors, improving the sentence structure. -
"they was still a rapid increase" -> "they still experienced a rapid increase"
Explanation: Correcting "was" to "experienced" for subject-verb agreement and adding "still" for grammatical completeness.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in milk production. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "Netherlands was the bigest manufature milk in 1990, 2000 and 2010" but does not provide any data to support this claim. The essay also states that "Australia was the second countries of production of milk but the number of milk was plunge significantly" but does not provide any specific figures to support this claim.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in milk production. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific data to support the claims made. For example, the essay could state that "Netherlands was the biggest producer of milk in 1990, 2000 and 2010, with production levels of 11,262,000 litres, 11,155,000 litres and 11,466,000 litres respectively." The essay could also state that "Australia was the second largest producer of milk in 1990, with production levels of 11,246,000 litres, but production levels fell significantly to 9,165,000 litres in 2010."
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to categorize the countries into two groups, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, leading to some confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, with instances of repetition and inaccuracies in referencing. Paragraphing is attempted, but the structure is not always logical, which affects the clarity of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs. Additionally, varying the use of cohesive devices and ensuring they are applied correctly will help avoid repetition. Finally, organizing the information in a more structured manner, such as clearly defining each group’s characteristics and production trends, will improve overall clarity.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the information from the table, there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and grammatical structures that may cause some difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "the number of milk which production annually" and "the most highest percentage" are awkward and incorrect. Additionally, there are several instances of incorrect pluralization and word formation, such as "manufatures" instead of "manufacturers" and "bigest" instead of "biggest." Overall, while the essay attempts to present the data, the lexical resource is insufficient to achieve a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately. This includes practicing the correct forms of words (e.g., "manufacturers" instead of "manufatures") and ensuring proper grammatical structures. Additionally, the writer should aim to use more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons (e.g., "significant increase" instead of "rocket dramatically"). Regular reading and writing practice can help improve vocabulary range and accuracy, as well as familiarity with common collocations and phrases used in academic writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures. However, the accuracy of these structures is inconsistent, with frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases such as "the number of milk which production annually" and "the most highest percentage" contain errors that hinder clarity. Additionally, punctuation issues are present, such as missing commas and incorrect capitalization. Overall, while the essay conveys some information, the grammatical inaccuracies detract from the overall communication.
How to improve:
- Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including more complex sentences, to enhance the grammatical range.
- Focus on Accuracy: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles (e.g., "the number of milk" should be "the amount of milk").
- Proofread for Errors: Take time to review the essay for grammatical and punctuation errors before submission. This can help identify and correct mistakes that may obscure meaning.
- Use Transitional Phrases: Improve coherence by using transitional phrases to connect ideas more clearly, which will also help in structuring the essay better.
Bài sửa mẫu
The table illustrates the annual production of milk in four nations in 1990, 2000, and 2010.
Overall, there are two groups of nations that manufacture milk during these years. The first group includes the Netherlands and Australia, which have the highest percentages of milk production, starting at over 9 million litres and ending at approximately 11 million litres. In contrast, the second group consists of Tanzania and Guatemala, which have lower rates of milk production, beginning at 26 thousand litres and ending at 1.55 million litres over the same period.
Initially, the Netherlands was the largest manufacturer of milk in 1990, 2000, and 2010. The amount of milk produced in the Netherlands experienced a consistent climb, starting at 11,262,000 litres in 1990 and showing a gradual decline of about one hundred thousand litres over the next ten years. However, following this period, it reached a peak of 11,466,000 litres. Although Australia was the second-largest producer of milk, its production significantly plunged, starting at 11,246,000 litres in 1990 and hitting a low of 9,165,000 litres in 2010. Despite being the second-lowest producer, Tanzania dramatically increased its milk production, starting at 87 thousand litres and reaching a peak of 1.55 million litres during the same period. While Guatemala was the lowest manufacturer of milk, it still experienced a rapid increase.
Phản hồi