You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? You should write at least 250 words. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.

In a world of unequal development, there are some rich countries, and there are also many poor ones. Some people says that those poorer countries should be supported education and food by wealthy nations. My opinion is that developed countries should share those things with poor countries.
On the one hand, education and food are always the foundation for the development of every country. Only when people are no longer hungry and are educated can they develop and help the country escape poverty. Therefore, countries Rich families should subsidize food and teach people there how to grow crops and find foods suitable for that country. Besides, with rich experience, rich countries should establish a detailed education system, from small children to universities, helping to train talented people so that they can serve their country.
On the other hand, there are still some concerns about supporting the poor nations, they are corruption and poor management. Aid sources are often appropriated by greedy officials, and those who really need them cannot get them. In addition, these countries often do not have reasonable management measures, they just wait for foreign aid without developing based on that support themselves. Therefore, countries being helped should reform their leadership, bring in truly dedicated people, and learn the management methods of developed countries. Only that can bring their country out of poverty.
In conclusion, there must be efforts from both sides to help poor countries, and to help the world become better and happier.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In a world of unequal development" -> "In a world characterized by unequal development"
Explanation: The phrase "characterized by" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"some rich countries, and there are also many poor ones" -> "some affluent countries and numerous impoverished nations"
Explanation: "Affluent" and "impoverished" are more precise and formal terms than "rich" and "poor," respectively, and "numerous" is more specific than "many."
"Some people says" -> "Some individuals assert"
Explanation: "Assert" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "says," which is too conversational.
"should be supported education and food" -> "should be provided with education and sustenance"
Explanation: "Provided with" is more formal and accurate than "supported," and "sustenance" is a more formal synonym for "food."
"My opinion is that" -> "I maintain that"
Explanation: "I maintain that" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing than "My opinion is that."
"developed countries should share those things" -> "developed nations should allocate these resources"
Explanation: "Allocate" is more precise and formal than "share," and "nations" is preferred over "countries" in formal contexts.
"countries Rich families" -> "wealthy nations"
Explanation: "Wealthy nations" is a more accurate and formal way to refer to countries with high economic status.
"teach people there how to grow crops and find foods suitable for that country" -> "instruct the local population in agricultural practices and food cultivation suitable for their region"
Explanation: "Instruct the local population" is more formal and specific than "teach people there," and "food cultivation" is a more precise term than "find foods."
"with rich experience" -> "with extensive experience"
Explanation: "Extensive" is more formal and precise than "rich," which can be vague and informal in this context.
"establish a detailed education system" -> "establish a comprehensive educational system"
Explanation: "Comprehensive" is more academically precise than "detailed," and "educational" is the correct adjective form.
"helping to train talented people" -> "aiding in the development of skilled professionals"
Explanation: "Aiding in the development of skilled professionals" is more formal and specific than "helping to train talented people."
"there are still some concerns about supporting the poor nations, they are corruption and poor management" -> "there remain concerns regarding the support of impoverished nations, including corruption and inadequate management"
Explanation: "There remain concerns regarding" is more formal, and "inadequate management" is a more precise term than "poor management."
"Aid sources are often appropriated by greedy officials" -> "Aid funds are frequently misappropriated by corrupt officials"
Explanation: "Misappropriated" is a more precise term than "appropriated," and "corrupt" is more specific than "greedy."
"they just wait for foreign aid without developing based on that support themselves" -> "they merely rely on foreign aid without developing their own capabilities"
Explanation: "Merely rely" is more formal than "just wait," and "developing their own capabilities" is more precise than "developing based on that support themselves."
"countries being helped should reform their leadership" -> "recipient countries should reform their leadership"
Explanation: "Recipient countries" is a more formal and precise term than "countries being helped."
"bring in truly dedicated people" -> "appoint genuinely committed individuals"
Explanation: "Appoint" is more formal than "bring in," and "genuinely committed individuals" is more precise and formal than "truly dedicated people."
"help the world become better and happier" -> "contribute to a more prosperous and harmonious global environment"
Explanation: "Contribute to a more prosperous and harmonious global environment" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express the desired outcome.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the importance of wealthy nations sharing their wealth with poorer nations for education and food support. However, it does not fully explore the aspect of whether it is the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves.
- How to improve: To improve, make sure to thoroughly address all aspects of the prompt. Consider discussing the role responsibility of governments in poorer nations in providing for their citizens as well.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that wealthy nations should share their wealth with poorer nations for education and food support. This stance is maintained throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that your thesis statement clearly states your position at the beginning of the essay and reiterate it in the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the importance of education and food support from wealthy nations to poorer nations. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To improve, provide specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Elaborate on how education and food support can lead to development and provide real-world examples to strengthen your points.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the sharing of wealth from wealthy nations to poorer nations for education and food support. However, it briefly touches on corruption and poor management in poorer nations, which slightly deviates from the main focus.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, focus on discussing the main argument of wealth sharing and its implications for development. Avoid introducing tangential topics that distract from the central theme of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of wealthy nations sharing their wealth with poorer nations. It starts by introducing the topic and the author’s stance, followed by two main points supporting the argument. However, the transition between these points could be smoother to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" can help guide the reader through the different arguments presented.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. While the essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, the development within each paragraph could be more detailed and structured.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Then, provide supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument within each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "therefore" and "in addition," to connect ideas within sentences. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, use pronouns and referencing words to link ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including words like "subsidize "foundation," "corruption," "dedicated," and "management measures." These words contribute to the depth and complexity of the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to economic development, international relations, and social welfare. For example, using terms like "socio-economic disparities," "foreign aid allocation," or "sustainable development goals" can elevate the vocabulary richness.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, but there are some instances where word choice could be more specific. For example, using "rich families" instead of "developed countries" may not accurately convey the intended meaning. Additionally, phrases like "rich experience" could be more precisely replaced with terms like "expertise" or "knowledge base."
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, focus on selecting words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Avoid using generic terms when more specific vocabulary can enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments. Utilize synonyms and context-appropriate terms to ensure precision in expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of spelling accuracy, with some minor errors present throughout the text. Examples include "says" instead of "say," "teach" instead of "teaching," and "being helped" instead of "being helped." While these errors do not significantly impact readability, they indicate areas for improvement.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully before submission. Pay close attention to common spelling mistakes, such as verb conjugations, plural forms, and homophones. Utilize spell-check tools and seek feedback from peers or educators to identify and correct spelling errors effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency to rely on basic sentence structures, which can make the writing less engaging. For example, there is a repetition of sentence structures like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which can be improved variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the essay’s effectiveness, try incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce compound and complex sentences to add complexity and depth to your arguments. For instance, instead of using repetitive phrases, consider using transitions like "Furthermore" or "Moreover" to connect ideas and create a smoother flow in your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, with some minor errors present. There are instances of subject-verb agreement issues, such as "Some people says" should be corrected to "Some people say." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, like missing commas in certain places, that impact the clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency throughout the essay. Review the use of commas to separate ideas and clauses appropriately. Consider revising sentences that may be structurally correct but lack clarity due to punctuation errors. Proofreading your work carefully can help identify and correct these issues, enhancing the overall quality of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In a world characterized by unequal development, with some affluent countries and numerous impoverished nations, there is a debate on whether wealthy nations should provide education and sustenance to poorer nations or if it is the responsibility of the governments of the poorer nations to care for their citizens. Some assert that developed nations should allocate these resources to support the less fortunate.

I maintain that developed nations should indeed share their wealth with poorer countries. Education and food are essential for the progress of any nation. Only when individuals are well-fed and educated can they contribute to the development of their country and break free from poverty. Therefore, wealthy nations should not only provide food aid but also instruct the local population in agricultural practices and food cultivation suitable for their region. Additionally, drawing from extensive experience, developed nations should establish a comprehensive educational system, aiding in the development of skilled professionals who can contribute to their own countries.

However, there remain concerns regarding the support of impoverished nations, including corruption and inadequate management. Aid funds are frequently misappropriated by corrupt officials, depriving those in need. Moreover, recipient countries often rely solely on foreign aid without developing their own capabilities. It is crucial for these countries to reform their leadership, appoint genuinely committed individuals, and learn from the successful management practices of developed nations. Only through these efforts can they pave the way towards a more prosperous and harmonious global environment.

In conclusion, it is imperative for both wealthy and poor nations to collaborate in supporting the less fortunate. By working together, we can create a world that is better and happier for all.