You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying history can help us better understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying history can help us better understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

In modern society, some people claim that learning history is time wasting and unhelpful as it contains old stories and can not be applied practically. Others, nevertheless, contend that only by exploring historical events in detail can we understand and appreciate current life. Although both schools of thought hold merit, I align more closely with the latter viewpoint, as profound understanding of history can offer us a deep appreciation of our existing cultures, traditions and essential knowledge to avoid making similar mistakes in the past.
On the one hand, proponents of learning historical-related subjects argue that such knowledge is impractical and unimportant in modern society compared to other subjects. A primary reason is that due to the ongoing advancement of technology that is why many people now consider science subjects are much more useful and need to learn than history and assume that while it provide essential knowledge that can easily use in modern era, the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical and should be replaced by other subjects. For instance, in Vietnam, a developing country where technological development play paramount importance in the proliferation of this country, many school's curriculums now mainly focus on educating science subjects, which directly enhance the quality of lives of its citizens, instead of theoretical lessons of history as a method to fuel the holistic proliferation of this country.
Conversely, I firmly support the notion that historical knowledge should be transmitted in larger scales as a way to express the respectation from the descendants to the effort of their ancestors and fostering the sense of appreciation towards the traditions and cultures within the countries. The most compelling argument for this stance is that exploring history attentively can provide learners with a deeper insight into the development process of their countries, thereby fostering higher patriotism in themselves as well as the respectation they express to their ancestors, which create more motivation to them to contribute to the progression of their nation. Furthermore, when digging inside history enthusiastically, learners can achieve numerous meaningful knowledge about national traditions and human characteristics. A pertinent example is Cambodia, a nation where citizens had suffered from a thousand years under the war and invasion of Chinese, so learning history explains for Cambodians why their writing systems and some traditional events are similar to China.
In conclusion, while both perspectives regarding the importance of history in modern society hold validity, I believe that history should be educated on a larger scale, and should not be restricted by the booming of other subjects as its vital role in cultural understanding. It is recommended that the governments should concentrate equally on history and other subjects, ensuring citizens can perceive optimal knowledge in all aspects, damaging all the barriers and challenges hindering the popularity of history as only have an optimal knowledge in history as soon as we truly understand ourselves.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "time wasting" -> "time-consuming"
   Explanation: The term "time wasting" is somewhat informal and negative. "Time-consuming" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term that still conveys the idea of requiring significant time without the negative connotation.

2. "can not" -> "cannot"
   Explanation: "Can not" is a less formal and less common way of expressing negation in academic writing. "Cannot" is the standard form and is more suitable for formal texts.

3. "old stories" -> "historical narratives"
   Explanation: "Old stories" is vague and informal. "Historical narratives" is a more precise and formal term that better fits the academic context, emphasizing the significance of historical accounts.

4. "practically" -> "practically applicable"
   Explanation: Adding "applicable" clarifies that the historical knowledge is not only relevant but also useful in contemporary contexts, enhancing the precision of the statement.

5. "profound understanding" -> "in-depth understanding"
   Explanation: "Profound" can be seen as slightly informal and vague in this context. "In-depth" is more specific and academically appropriate, indicating a thorough and detailed comprehension.

6. "essential knowledge to avoid making similar mistakes" -> "critical knowledge to prevent similar errors"
   Explanation: "Essential knowledge" is a bit generic; "critical knowledge" emphasizes the importance and urgency of the information. "Prevent" is more formal than "avoid," and "errors" is a more precise term than "mistakes" in an academic context.

7. "due to the ongoing advancement of technology that is why" -> "owing to ongoing technological advancements"
   Explanation: "That is why" is informal and conversational. "Owing to" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing, and "ongoing technological advancements" is a more precise and formal phrase.

8. "science subjects are much more useful and need to learn" -> "science subjects are significantly more practical and essential"
   Explanation: "Much more useful and need to learn" is informal and imprecise. "Significantly more practical and essential" uses more formal vocabulary and clarifies the importance of science subjects in a more academic tone.

9. "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical" -> "the insights gained from historical lessons are impractical"
   Explanation: "Understanding" is a bit vague; "insights" is more specific and academically precise, referring to the results of careful consideration or study.

10. "should be replaced by other subjects" -> "should be supplemented by other subjects"
    Explanation: "Should be replaced" implies a complete substitution, which is too absolute. "Should be supplemented" suggests a complementary addition, which is more appropriate and nuanced in an academic discussion.

11. "technological development play paramount importance" -> "technological development plays paramount importance"
    Explanation: "Play" should be "plays" to agree with the singular subject "development," and "paramount importance" is a more formal expression than "paramount importance" without the article.

12. "the respectation from the descendants to the effort of their ancestors" -> "the respect and gratitude from descendants for their ancestors’ efforts"
    Explanation: "Respection" is not a word; "respect and gratitude" are the correct terms. Also, "for their ancestors’ efforts" is more grammatically correct and formal than "to the effort of their ancestors."

13. "fostering the sense of appreciation towards the traditions and cultures" -> "cultivating an appreciation for traditions and cultures"
    Explanation: "Fostering the sense of" is a bit verbose and informal. "Cultivating an appreciation for" is more concise and maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing.

14. "exploring history attentively" -> "studying history diligently"
    Explanation: "Exploring" can imply a casual or superficial approach. "Studying diligently" conveys a more serious and thorough engagement with the subject, which is more appropriate for academic discourse.

15. "digging inside history enthusiastically" -> "delving deeply into history"
    Explanation: "Digging inside" is informal and colloquial. "Delving deeply into" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing.

16. "meaningful knowledge" -> "valuable insights"
    Explanation: "Meaningful knowledge" is somewhat redundant. "Valuable insights" is a more concise and academically precise term that conveys the importance and usefulness of the knowledge gained.

17. "should not be restricted by the booming of other subjects" -> "should not be overshadowed by the prominence of other subjects"
    Explanation: "Restricted by the booming of" is awkward and unclear. "Overshadowed by the prominence of" is clearer and more formal, effectively conveying the idea that history should not be overshadowed by other subjects.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the importance of studying history. The first viewpoint is presented in the first body paragraph, where the author discusses the belief that history is impractical in modern society, citing the focus on science education in Vietnam as an example. The second viewpoint is articulated in the second body paragraph, emphasizing the value of historical knowledge in fostering cultural appreciation and patriotism. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives, as the second viewpoint is more elaborated than the first.
  • How to improve: To enhance the balance between the two views, the author could include more specific examples or arguments supporting the first viewpoint. Additionally, providing a clearer transition between the discussion of both perspectives would help to unify the essay.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The author clearly states their position in favor of studying history in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion. However, there are moments where the language could be more assertive in reinforcing this stance. For example, phrases like "I align more closely with the latter viewpoint" could be strengthened to emphasize the author’s commitment to their position.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should consistently use assertive language throughout the essay. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the topic sentences of each paragraph would help reinforce the position more effectively.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the author discusses the importance of historical knowledge in fostering patriotism and cultural appreciation. However, the support for the first viewpoint is less robust, which weakens the overall argument. The examples provided are relevant, but they could be more detailed and connected to the main argument.
  • How to improve: The author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for both viewpoints. For instance, expanding on how historical knowledge can prevent future mistakes could strengthen the argument. Additionally, integrating more personal or contemporary examples could enhance the relevance and engagement of the essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the relevance of history in understanding the present. However, there are instances where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the discussion of technological advancement, which could be more directly tied back to the main argument about the value of history.
  • How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central question of the essay. This can be achieved by regularly linking back to the prompt in each paragraph and ensuring that all examples serve to illustrate the main argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument. With improvements in balance, clarity of position, depth of support, and focus, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The main arguments are logically sequenced, with the first body paragraph addressing the opposing viewpoint and the second body paragraph supporting the author’s opinion. However, some points could be more clearly articulated. For example, the transition between discussing the impracticality of history and the importance of studying it could be smoother to enhance the logical flow. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "Conversely" helps signal shifts in perspective, which is effective.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that directly state the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each point builds on the previous one, creating a more cohesive argument. For instance, after discussing the impracticality of history, explicitly link it to the importance of historical knowledge in understanding current issues.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph is somewhat lengthy and could be broken down into two smaller paragraphs to improve clarity and focus. For example, one paragraph could discuss the importance of historical knowledge for cultural appreciation, while another could focus on the impact of history on national identity and patriotism.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, aim for a more balanced length across paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by examples. This will help maintain reader engagement and improve the overall clarity of the argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of cohesive devices, such as "nevertheless," "for instance," and "furthermore," which contribute to the flow of ideas. However, some sentences are overly complex and could benefit from simpler structures or clearer connections. For example, the phrase "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical and should be replaced by other subjects" could be rephrased for clarity.
  • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "however," and "on the contrary." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of the argument. Simplifying complex sentences can also improve overall coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there are areas for improvement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially achieving a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms like "proponents," "patriotism," "proliferation," and "essential knowledge" indicating a good grasp of academic language. However, some phrases are repetitive, such as "learning history" and "historical knowledge," which could be varied to enhance the lexical richness.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "learning history," alternatives like "studying the past," "historical inquiry," or "exploring historical narratives" could be used. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "chronology," "historical context," or "cultural heritage," would further elevate the lexical range.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "respectation," which is not a standard English word. The phrase "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical" could also be more clearly articulated, as "impractical" does not fully capture the nuance of the argument being made.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should replace non-standard terms with appropriate vocabulary. For example, "respectation" could be replaced with "respect" or "appreciation." Additionally, clarifying phrases like "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons" to "the insights gained from studying history" would improve clarity and precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are notable errors, such as "school’s curriculums" (should be "school curricula") and "respectation," which detracts from the overall impression of lexical accuracy.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly confused words and plural forms. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with the correct forms of academic terms, such as "curriculum" (singular) and "curricula" (plural), would be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary appropriate for the IELTS Task 2, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "Although both schools of thought hold merit" and "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical" show an ability to use subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied or sophisticated, such as the repeated use of "that" clauses which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences (e.g., "If we study history, we can…") or use participial phrases (e.g., "Having studied history, one can…"). Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create more dynamic sentence flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, "that is why many people now consider science subjects are much more useful" should be corrected to "that is why many people now consider science subjects to be much more useful." Additionally, phrases like "the understanding that we have gained from historical lessons are impractical" should use "is" instead of "are" to agree with the singular subject "understanding." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas are missing, such as before "as a way to express the respectation from the descendants" which could improve readability.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of infinitive forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used to separate clauses appropriately will enhance clarity and coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the noted weaknesses will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In modern society, some people claim that learning history is time-consuming and unhelpful as it contains old stories and cannot be applied practically. Others, nevertheless, contend that only by exploring historical events in detail can we understand and appreciate current life. Although both schools of thought hold merit, I align more closely with the latter viewpoint, as a profound understanding of history can offer us a deep appreciation of our existing cultures, traditions, and essential knowledge to avoid making similar mistakes in the past.

On the one hand, proponents of learning history-related subjects argue that such knowledge is impractical and unimportant in modern society compared to other subjects. A primary reason is that, owing to ongoing technological advancements, many people now consider science subjects to be much more useful and necessary to learn than history. They assume that while history provides essential knowledge that can be easily used in the modern era, the understanding we gain from historical lessons is impractical and should be replaced by other subjects. For instance, in Vietnam, a developing country where technological development plays paramount importance in the proliferation of the nation, many school curriculums now mainly focus on educating science subjects, which directly enhance the quality of life for its citizens, instead of the theoretical lessons of history as a method to fuel the holistic development of the country.

Conversely, I firmly support the notion that historical knowledge should be transmitted on a larger scale as a way to express respect and gratitude from descendants for their ancestors’ efforts and to foster a sense of appreciation for the traditions and cultures within their countries. The most compelling argument for this stance is that exploring history attentively can provide learners with a deeper insight into the development process of their countries, thereby fostering higher patriotism and respect for their ancestors, which creates more motivation for them to contribute to the progression of their nation. Furthermore, when delving deeply into history, learners can achieve numerous valuable insights about national traditions and human characteristics. A pertinent example is Cambodia, a nation where citizens have suffered for a thousand years under wars and invasions by China. Learning history explains to Cambodians why their writing systems and some traditional events are similar to those of China.

In conclusion, while both perspectives regarding the importance of history in modern society hold validity, I believe that history should be taught on a larger scale and should not be overshadowed by the prominence of other subjects due to its vital role in cultural understanding. It is recommended that governments concentrate equally on history and other subjects, ensuring citizens can gain optimal knowledge in all aspects, breaking down the barriers and challenges hindering the popularity of history. Only by achieving a comprehensive understanding of history can we truly understand ourselves.