Youngsters have lots of problems but their problems are often ignored by the people running the country and the society. Give the causes and solutions to the problems faced by the young generation.

Young generation plays a vital role in the development of many countries in the world. However, they are facing plenty of issues being mainly neglected by the authorities who operate the whole nation. This essay will discuss the problem of youngsters and solutions for that.
Firstly, one of the major problems for young people is more competition in job opportunities. Recently, due to the evaluation of education, many companies and businesses tend to have higher requirements in choosing employees. Additionally, the young generation have a greater chance to access a quality education, which causes the increase of competition in the labor market. Secondly, mental health issues among young people are on the rise. There are a lot of factors which affect mental health such as exposure to adversity, pressure to conform with peers and exploration of identity. Furthermore, the quality of their home life and relationships with peers, violence harsh parenting and influences from social media are considered as risks to mental health.
There are several actions that could be taken in order to alleviate those problems. Firstly, in order to create better opportunities for young people, the government needs to organize employment and training programs, and minimize discrimination in the field of education and employment. In addition, the new generation should adapt with the labor market, and find various opportunities to expand their sources of income. Secondly, mental health awareness campaigns are necessary to educate the youth how to take care of it. Furthermore, young people should be encouraged to have physical safe-care which brings positive effects on mental wellbeing.
In conclusion, a highly competitive labor market and unstable mental health are the major issues of the young generation. In the fight against these problems, governmental support is mainly needed to ensure the future of the young.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Young generation" -> "Younger generation"
Explanation: "Young generation" is somewhat informal and vague. "Younger generation" is more precise and commonly used in academic contexts to refer to the younger part of a population.
"plays a vital role" -> "plays a crucial role"
Explanation: "Vital" can be somewhat overused and less specific. "Crucial" conveys a stronger sense of importance and is more appropriate in formal writing.
"plenty of issues being mainly neglected" -> "numerous issues that are largely neglected"
Explanation: "Plenty of" is informal and imprecise. "Numerous" is more formal and quantifies the number of issues, while "that are largely neglected" clarifies the passive construction.
"the authorities who operate the whole nation" -> "those in authority who govern the nation"
Explanation: "Operate the whole nation" is an awkward and incorrect phrase. "Governing" is the correct term for describing the actions of those in authority, and "those in authority" is a more formal expression.
"more competition in job opportunities" -> "increased competition for job opportunities"
Explanation: "More competition in job opportunities" is grammatically incorrect. "Increased competition for job opportunities" corrects the preposition and clarifies the meaning.
"Recently, due to the evaluation of education" -> "Recently, due to the rising standards of education"
Explanation: "Evaluation of education" is unclear and awkward. "Rising standards of education" clearly indicates the improvement in educational quality.
"the young generation have" -> "the younger generation have"
Explanation: "Young generation" should be "younger generation" to maintain consistency in terminology.
"a greater chance to access" -> "greater access to"
Explanation: "A greater chance to access" is verbose and awkward. "Greater access to" is more direct and formal.
"There are a lot of factors" -> "There are numerous factors"
Explanation: "A lot of" is informal and vague. "Numerous" is more precise and formal.
"violence harsh parenting" -> "harsh parenting"
Explanation: "Violence harsh parenting" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Harsh parenting" is the correct term.
"influences from social media" -> "influence from social media"
Explanation: "Influences" should be singular to match the singular noun "influence," and "from" is more appropriate than "from."
"the new generation should adapt with the labor market" -> "the younger generation should adapt to the labor market"
Explanation: "The new generation" is incorrect; "the younger generation" is the correct term. "Adapt with" is grammatically incorrect; "adapt to" is the correct preposition.
"find various opportunities to expand their sources of income" -> "pursue various opportunities to diversify their income streams"
Explanation: "Find various opportunities to expand their sources of income" is verbose and informal. "Pursue various opportunities to diversify their income streams" is more concise and formal.
"young people should be encouraged to have physical safe-care" -> "young people should prioritize physical self-care"
Explanation: "Physical safe-care" is awkward and unclear. "Physical self-care" is the correct term and is more formal.
"brings positive effects on mental wellbeing" -> "enhances mental wellbeing"
Explanation: "Brings positive effects on" is verbose and awkward. "Enhances" is a more direct and formal verb that conveys improvement in mental wellbeing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both causes and solutions to the problems faced by the young generation. It identifies job market competition and mental health issues as major problems and suggests solutions such as employment programs and mental health awareness campaigns.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both causes and solutions adequately, there is room for improvement in depth and specificity. Providing more detailed examples or statistics could strengthen the analysis of these problems and solutions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance that the issues of young people are neglected and require governmental intervention. This position is articulated in the introduction, discussed in the body paragraphs, and reiterated in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph directly reinforces the central argument. Emphasize coherence by linking solutions explicitly back to the problems identified.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding job competition and mental health issues effectively. It extends these ideas with examples such as the impact of education evaluation on job opportunities and factors affecting mental health.
- How to improve: Strengthen the essay by deepening the analysis of each problem and solution. Provide more specific details or examples to support the assertions made about causes and potential remedies.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the problems faced by young people (job market competition and mental health) and proposing relevant solutions (employment programs, mental health awareness campaigns).
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to either a cause or a solution without straying into unrelated topics. Use clear transitions to connect ideas logically.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and effectively addresses the prompt by discussing causes and solutions related to the problems faced by the young generation. To improve, the writer should aim for greater specificity in examples and deeper analysis of each issue. Maintaining a consistent focus and reinforcing the central argument throughout the essay will further enhance clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by introducing the problems faced by young people (job competition and mental health issues) in the first body paragraph. It then transitions smoothly into discussing solutions in the second body paragraph. Each paragraph focuses on a single issue, providing clear examples and explanations.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence clearly links back to the thesis statement and previews the main idea of that paragraph. This will strengthen the essay’s coherence by maintaining a clear progression of ideas throughout.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to separate different aspects of the problem (job competition and mental health issues) and their corresponding solutions. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and develops its main idea coherently.
- How to improve: Consider refining paragraph transitions to improve cohesion between ideas. Use linking words or phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "Furthermore,") to better connect the ideas between paragraphs and ensure a smoother transition from problem presentation to solution discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as "Firstly," "Secondly," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion," which help to structure ideas clearly and guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, pronouns (e.g., "they," "their") and cohesive phrases (e.g., "in order to," "as a result,") are used to maintain coherence within and between sentences.
- How to improve: To enrich cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices such as synonyms for key terms, parallel structures, or transitional adverbs (e.g., "subsequently," "conversely") where appropriate. This can enhance the essay’s overall coherence and provide a more nuanced connection between ideas.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Enhancing the use of cohesive devices and refining transitions between paragraphs will further elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially pushing it towards a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Key terms such as "competition in job opportunities," "mental health issues," "employment and training programs," and "mental health awareness campaigns" are used effectively. However, there is a tendency to rely on somewhat basic or repetitive vocabulary in some areas (e.g., "youth" and "young generation").
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary and synonyms where possible. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "young generation," synonyms like "youth," "adolescents," or "young adults" can add variety. Additionally, strive to use domain-specific vocabulary related to mental health and employment sectors to demonstrate depth of understanding.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Vocabulary is generally used with reasonable precision. For example, terms like "employment and training programs" and "mental health awareness campaigns" are specific and appropriate for the context. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise or contextually fitting, such as using "challenges" instead of "issues" in some cases.
- How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that each word choice aligns closely with the intended meaning. Avoid overusing general terms like "problems" and instead opt for more specific terms like "challenges," "obstacles," or "issues," depending on the context. Consider the exact nuances conveyed by different words and choose accordingly to enrich the essay’s vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with minor exceptions such as "safe-care" instead of "self-care." There are no major spelling errors that impede readability or comprehension.
- How to improve: To maintain high spelling accuracy, continue practicing by proofreading essays carefully and utilizing spell-check tools. Pay attention to commonly misspelled words and be vigilant during the editing process to correct any errors before submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource with relevant vocabulary and generally correct spelling, there is room for improvement in terms of vocabulary range and precision. By diversifying word choice, using more precise terminology, and maintaining consistent spelling accuracy, the essay could enhance its lexical sophistication and clarity further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. It uses simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively throughout the essay. For instance, simple sentences like "Young generation plays a vital role in the development of many countries in the world" are balanced with complex sentences such as "Additionally, the young generation have a greater chance to access a quality education, which causes the increase of competition in the labor market."
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence constructions that include subordinate clauses and varied transitions. This can add sophistication and clarity to the ideas presented, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay displays a good level of grammatical accuracy with few noticeable errors. For example, the sentence "There are several actions that could be taken in order to alleviate those problems" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve further, pay attention to article usage and subject-verb agreement in complex sentences. For instance, ensure consistency in using articles (such as ‘the’, ‘a’, ‘an’) appropriately before nouns. Additionally, consider reviewing punctuation marks like commas and semicolons to ensure they are used correctly to enhance clarity and coherence in longer sentences.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates commendable grammatical range and accuracy, enhancing sentence complexity and refining grammatical precision could elevate the writing to a higher band score. Continued practice with varied sentence structures and meticulous proofreading will contribute to achieving greater fluency and coherence in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

The younger generation plays a crucial role in the development of many countries worldwide. However, they face numerous issues that are largely neglected by those in authority who govern the nation. This essay will discuss these issues and propose solutions.

Firstly, increased competition for job opportunities is a significant challenge for young people. Recently, due to the rising standards of education, many companies and businesses now require higher qualifications from their employees. This trend has intensified competition in the job market. Furthermore, the younger generation have greater access to quality education, further fueling this competition.

Secondly, mental health problems among young people are becoming more prevalent. There are numerous factors contributing to this, such as exposure to adversity, peer pressure, and the search for personal identity. Additionally, harsh parenting and influences from social media pose risks to their mental well-being.

To address these challenges, several solutions can be implemented. Firstly, governments should organize employment and training programs to create better opportunities for young people. They should also work to reduce discrimination in education and employment. Moreover, young people should adapt to the demands of the labor market and pursue various opportunities to diversify their income streams.

Secondly, raising awareness about mental health through campaigns is essential. Educating young people on how to care for their mental well-being is crucial. Additionally, promoting physical self-care among young people should be prioritized, as it enhances mental well-being.

In conclusion, the younger generation faces significant challenges in today’s world, particularly in the competitive job market and concerning mental health. Addressing these issues requires substantial governmental support to secure a brighter future for the youth.