1. Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is argued that engaging in team activities is more beneficial in developing practical skills than solitary activities. While the intent behind such joint efforts is commendable, I strongly disagree because individual pursuits can foster critical skills that are equally essential for personal and professional success.
Granted, it is understandable why some people propose that teamwork can be more advantageous. The primary reason is that team activities inherently bolster important communication and collaboration skills. To be more precise, in a team setting, individuals are required to express their own ideas clearly and listen attentively to others, which enhances their communication ability. Moreover, working with others necessitates collaboration, thus imparting individuals how to negotiate, compromise and work towards a common goal. However, proponents of this scheme often fail to factor that collaborative pursuit can deteriorate one’s creativity, along with their ability to make their own decisions. Such a proposal, in other words, could lead to over dependence that might compromise the anticipated benefits.
Notwithstanding the above, I am convinced that solo activities can generate numerous merits that are vital for personal growth. The foremost reason would be that activities played alone can improve self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Indeed, spending time alone allows individuals to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and actions, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves without being distracted by the crowd. Therefore, this concentration enables people to make wiser decisions, as well as foster emotional regulation and personal development. In addition to this, individualism can also enhance creativity and critical thinking. When people work alone, they have the freedom to explore their intrinsic thoughts and ideas without the influence of others, thus promote innovation and independence. Take Joanne Rowling for example, she has worked solitarily and written much of the Harry Potter series alone, which is soon regarded as a global phenomenon of novels. In other words, working independently could bring about more comprehensive hands-on skills that contribute to one’s success.
To conclude, while there are good grounds for team activities, I firmly side with advocates of working alone without disturbances of others.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argued that engaging in team activities is more beneficial in developing practical skills than solitary activities." -> "It is contended that participation in team activities yields greater benefits in developing practical skills compared to solitary endeavors."
Explanation: Replacing "argued" with "contended" and restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality enhances the academic tone. Additionally, "yields greater benefits" is more precise and formal than "is more beneficial."
"While the intent behind such joint efforts is commendable, I strongly disagree because individual pursuits can foster critical skills that are equally essential for personal and professional success." -> "While the noble intentions driving collaborative efforts are acknowledged, I hold a divergent view due to the fact that solitary pursuits have the potential to cultivate critical skills equally indispensable for both personal and professional advancement."
Explanation: Substituting "commendable" with "noble" and "strongly disagree" with "hold a divergent view" elevates the formality of the language. Moreover, replacing "because" with "due to the fact that" adds precision, and "indispensable" is a more formal alternative to "essential."
"Granted, it is understandable why some people propose that teamwork can be more advantageous." -> "Admittedly, it is understandable why some advocate the superiority of teamwork."
Explanation: "Granted" is replaced with "Admittedly" for a more formal tone. "Advocate" is a stronger and more precise term than "propose," and "superiority" adds clarity and formality compared to "advantageous."
"To be more precise, in a team setting, individuals are required to express their own ideas clearly and listen attentively to others, which enhances their communication ability." -> "To elaborate further, within a team environment, individuals are compelled to articulate their thoughts cogently while attentively listening to their peers, thereby augmenting their communicative proficiency."
Explanation: "To be more precise" is substituted with "To elaborate further" to enhance formality. "Compelled" is more formal than "required," and "articulate their thoughts cogently" is a more sophisticated expression. Additionally, "peers" is a formal term for "others."
"Moreover, working with others necessitates collaboration, thus imparting individuals how to negotiate, compromise and work towards a common goal." -> "Moreover, collaborating with others entails negotiation, thereby imparting individuals with skills in negotiation, compromise, and the pursuit of shared objectives."
Explanation: "Necessitates" is replaced with "entails" for a more formal tone. "Imparting individuals how to" is replaced with "imparting individuals with skills in," which is more precise and formal. "Towards" is replaced with "in" for correctness and clarity.
"However, proponents of this scheme often fail to factor that collaborative pursuit can deteriorate one’s creativity, along with their ability to make their own decisions." -> "However, proponents of this approach often overlook the potential downside: collaborative endeavors may diminish individual creativity and autonomy in decision-making."
Explanation: "Scheme" is replaced with "approach" for clarity and formality. "Factor" is replaced with "overlook" for a stronger verb choice. "Deteriorate" is substituted with "diminish" for a less harsh but still precise term.
"Notwithstanding the above, I am convinced that solo activities can generate numerous merits that are vital for personal growth." -> "Nevertheless, I am persuaded that solitary activities can yield numerous benefits crucial for personal development."
Explanation: "Notwithstanding the above" is replaced with "Nevertheless" for conciseness and formality. "Generate numerous merits that are vital" is replaced with "yield numerous benefits crucial" for clarity and precision.
"The foremost reason would be that activities played alone can improve self-awareness and emotional intelligence." -> "Primarily, solitary activities can enhance self-awareness and emotional intelligence."
Explanation: "Foremost reason would be" is condensed to "Primarily" for conciseness and clarity.
"Indeed, spending time alone allows individuals to reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and actions, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves without being distracted by the crowd." -> "Indeed, solitary pursuits afford individuals the opportunity to introspect, thereby fostering a deeper self-awareness devoid of external distractions."
Explanation: "Spending time alone" is replaced with "solitary pursuits" for a more formal expression. "Reflect on their thoughts, feelings, and actions" is condensed to "introspect" for clarity and conciseness. "Devoid of" is more formal than "without."
"Take Joanne Rowling for example, she has worked solitarily and written much of the Harry Potter series alone, which is soon regarded as a global phenomenon of novels." -> "Consider Joanne Rowling, for instance; she worked alone and authored much of the Harry Potter series, soon acclaimed as a global literary phenomenon."
Explanation: "Take" is replaced with "Consider" for formality. "Solitarily" is replaced with "alone" for clarity. "Written much of the Harry Potter series alone" is rephrased to "authored much of the Harry Potter series" for conciseness. "Global phenomenon of novels" is replaced with "global literary phenomenon" for specificity and formality.
"In other words, working independently could bring about more comprehensive hands-on skills that contribute to one’s success." -> "In essence, working independently may cultivate a broader range of practical skills that contribute to one’s success."
Explanation: "In other words" is replaced with "In essence" for formality. "Comprehensive hands-on skills" is rephrased as "a broader range of practical skills" for clarity and precision.
"To conclude, while there are good grounds for team activities, I firmly side with advocates of working alone without disturbances of others." -> "In conclusion, although there are valid arguments for team activities, I strongly align with proponents of solitary work, free from external interruptions."
Explanation: "To conclude" is replaced with "In conclusion" for formality. "Firmly side with" is replaced with "strongly align with" for precision. "Advocates of working alone without disturbances of others" is rephrased as "proponents of solitary work, free from external interruptions" for clarity and conciseness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by presenting arguments both in favor of and against the idea that team activities are more beneficial than solitary activities for developing practical skills. It acknowledges the opposing viewpoint and provides a clear stance against it.
- How to improve: While the essay does address all parts of the question, a more comprehensive exploration of the benefits of team activities could strengthen the argument. Providing specific examples or scenarios where team activities excel in skill development would enhance the depth of analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, clearly expressing disagreement with the idea that team activities are superior for skill development compared to solitary activities. Each paragraph reinforces this stance and provides supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence reiterating the main argument can help guide the reader through the essay seamlessly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and supports ideas with relevant examples and explanations. It elaborates on how both team and solitary activities contribute to skill development and provides specific instances to illustrate the points made.
- How to improve: While the examples provided are relevant, expanding upon the potential drawbacks of team activities and elaborating on how solitary activities specifically foster creativity and critical thinking could add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the relative merits of team and solitary activities for skill development as prompted by the question. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as the mention of creativity and critical thinking in the context of individual pursuits.
- How to improve: To maintain strict relevance to the topic, ensuring that each point made directly relates back to the comparison between team and solitary activities for skill acquisition would prevent any potential deviations.

Overall, the essay effectively presents a well-structured argument against the superiority of team activities for skill development compared to solitary activities. To improve, the essay could benefit from deeper analysis and more specific examples, particularly in exploring the advantages of team activities and addressing potential counterarguments. Additionally, maintaining strict adherence to the topic throughout the essay would further enhance its coherence and effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong overall organization with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, with clear topic sentences guiding the reader through the writer’s stance and supporting arguments. For instance, the introduction sets up the argument by presenting the topic and the writer’s position, followed by body paragraphs that delve into the benefits of both team activities and solitary pursuits. The logical progression of ideas contributes to the coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains logical organization, enhancing transitions between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Introducing more explicit transitions or using cohesive devices to link ideas between paragraphs can help readers follow the flow of argumentation more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure its argument. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, such as the benefits of team activities or the advantages of solitary pursuits. Additionally, the paragraphs exhibit coherence internally, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. For example, the second paragraph discusses the benefits of teamwork, while the third paragraph presents the advantages of individual activities.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, consider varying the length and complexity of sentences within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, ensuring each paragraph develops its central idea fully can strengthen the overall argumentative structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transition words like "granted," "however," and "notwithstanding," which signal shifts between contrasting points. Furthermore, cohesive devices such as pronouns ("such," "this," "such a proposal") help link sentences and paragraphs together logically. These devices contribute to the overall cohesion of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates proficient use of cohesive devices, incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases can further enrich the text. Additionally, paying attention to parallel structure within sentences and coherence in the arrangement of ideas can enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary throughout. For instance, varied vocabulary is evident in phrases such as "bolster important communication and collaboration skills," "imparting individuals how to negotiate, compromise," and "fostering a deeper understanding of themselves without being distracted by the crowd." These phrases showcase the author’s ability to express ideas using diverse lexical choices effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical range, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary where appropriate. Utilizing synonyms or exploring nuanced expressions could elevate the sophistication of the language used. For instance, instead of "working with others," consider alternatives like "collaborating with peers" or "engaging in collective endeavors."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity and impact. For example, in the sentence "collaborative pursuit can deteriorate one’s creativity," "deteriorate" could be replaced with a more precise term like "constrain" or "inhibit" to convey the idea more precisely.
- How to improve: Continuously refine vocabulary usage by consulting a thesaurus or dictionary to identify more precise synonyms. Additionally, consider the context and connotations of words to ensure they align with the intended meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with minimal errors observed. Noteworthy is the correct spelling of complex terms such as "collaboration," "influence," and "independent," which indicates strong spelling proficiency.
- How to improve: Maintain spelling accuracy by proofreading essays carefully before submission. Utilize spelling and grammar checkers available in word processing software to identify and correct any overlooked errors. Additionally, practice spelling challenging words regularly to reinforce retention and accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and spelling, contributing to its coherence and effectiveness in conveying arguments. Continuously expanding vocabulary, using precise language, and maintaining spelling accuracy will further enhance the quality of written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, relative clauses, and conditional sentences. For instance, the author employs conditional structures in phrases like "While the intent behind such joint efforts is commendable" and "Granted, it is understandable why some people propose that teamwork can be more advantageous." Furthermore, the essay effectively utilizes relative clauses for specificity, such as "individuals who work alone" and "activities played alone can improve self-awareness and emotional intelligence." This diversity of structures enhances the overall coherence and fluency of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay’s structure, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and lengths. Additionally, strive to incorporate rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion for added stylistic flair and emphasis.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation overall. Most sentences are grammatically correct, and punctuation is generally used accurately to convey meaning and aid readability. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as a missing comma in the phrase "the anticipated benefits" and a missing article in "a global phenomenon of novels." Additionally, there are a couple of awkward phrasings that slightly detract from clarity, such as "Thus, this concentration enables people to make wiser decisions, as well as foster emotional regulation and personal development."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully to catch and correct minor errors in punctuation and syntax. Additionally, focus on refining sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing with grammar exercises and seeking feedback from peers or tutors can also be beneficial in improving overall grammatical precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is contended that participation in team activities yields greater benefits in developing practical skills compared to solitary endeavors. While the noble intentions driving collaborative efforts are acknowledged, I hold a divergent view due to the fact that solitary pursuits have the potential to cultivate critical skills equally indispensable for both personal and professional advancement.

Admittedly, it is understandable why some advocate the superiority of teamwork. To elaborate further, within a team environment, individuals are compelled to articulate their thoughts cogently while attentively listening to their peers, thereby augmenting their communicative proficiency. Moreover, collaborating with others entails negotiation, thereby imparting individuals with skills in negotiation, compromise, and the pursuit of shared objectives.

However, proponents of this approach often overlook the potential downside: collaborative endeavors may diminish individual creativity and autonomy in decision-making. Nevertheless, I am persuaded that solitary activities can yield numerous benefits crucial for personal development. Primarily, solitary activities can enhance self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Indeed, solitary pursuits afford individuals the opportunity to introspect, thereby fostering a deeper self-awareness devoid of external distractions. Consider Joanne Rowling, for instance; she worked alone and authored much of the Harry Potter series, soon acclaimed as a global literary phenomenon. In essence, working independently may cultivate a broader range of practical skills that contribute to one’s success.

In conclusion, although there are valid arguments for team activities, I strongly align with proponents of solitary work, free from external interruptions.