Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil, or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil, or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The traditional form of writing such as pens, pencils, or brushes has noticeably decreased. In this essay, I will examine why the phenomenon occurred and then discuss whether it is a benefit or drawback of development.
The reason why writing with pens, pencils, and brushes is not popular now is that the advent and progression of technology have a paramount importance in this phenomenon. Nowadays, people prefer typing instead of writing because this is more convenient. To elaborate, individuals require solely their laptop or phone to take notes or compose text across multiple platforms. Moreover, typing is generally faster than writing by hand, and communication on the screen is enhanced. As a result, individuals do not tend to write with a pen or pencil, and thus they reduce the handwritten notes and letters.
Concerning the pros and cons, I firmly believe that this evolution presents numerous advantages. The first one is they eliminate carrying physical books or pens to write, and they are able to write whatever they want and the letters or posts are always available and stored on their devices. Furthermore, digital communication facilitates swifter and more efficient search for information, enhancing productivity in various aspects of work and life. Because everybody readily accesses the information available on the internet, it helps them easily copy, edit, and exchange it.
In conclusion, fewer people opt for handwriting as is popular. The application of technology today causes a phenomenon like this. I advocate for individuals should learn to type on the computer because it has several benefits.

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Errors and Improvements:

"noticeably decreased" -> "significantly diminished"
Explanation: Replacing "noticeably decreased" with "significantly diminished" adds a more formal and precise tone, aligning with academic language standards.
"In this essay, I will examine" -> "This essay will scrutinize"
Explanation: Changing "In this essay, I will examine" to "This essay will scrutinize" reduces redundancy and presents a more direct and formal expression of the essay’s purpose.
"paramount importance" -> "significant role"
Explanation: Substituting "paramount importance" with "significant role" maintains the gravity of the technological impact while using a more common and suitable expression in academic writing.
"individuals require solely their laptop or phone" -> "individuals only need their laptop or phone"
Explanation: Simplifying "individuals require solely their laptop or phone" to "individuals only need their laptop or phone" preserves clarity and removes unnecessary complexity without sacrificing formality.
"To elaborate" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: Replacing "To elaborate" with "Furthermore" enhances the flow and formality of the transition between sentences.
"and communication on the screen is enhanced" -> "and on-screen communication is improved"
Explanation: Substituting "communication on the screen is enhanced" with "on-screen communication is improved" maintains formality and provides a more precise description of the improvement.
"individuals do not tend to write with a pen or pencil" -> "individuals are less inclined to use pen or pencil"
Explanation: Changing "individuals do not tend to write with a pen or pencil" to "individuals are less inclined to use pen or pencil" offers a more formal expression while retaining the intended meaning.
"Concerning the pros and cons" -> "Regarding the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: Substituting "Concerning the pros and cons" with "Regarding the advantages and disadvantages" maintains formality and avoids the use of the more casual term "pros."
"they eliminate carrying physical books or pens" -> "they eliminate the need to carry physical books or pens"
Explanation: Adding "the need to" in "they eliminate the need to carry physical books or pens" contributes to a more complete and formal expression of the idea.
"Furthermore, digital communication facilitates swifter" -> "Moreover, digital communication enables quicker"
Explanation: Changing "Furthermore, digital communication facilitates swifter" to "Moreover, digital communication enables quicker" enhances the formality and precision of the statement.
"In conclusion, fewer people opt for handwriting as is popular." -> "In conclusion, fewer people choose handwriting, as it is less prevalent."
Explanation: Substituting "opt for handwriting as is popular" with "choose handwriting, as it is less prevalent" offers a more formal expression and clarifies the relationship between choosing handwriting and its popularity.
"I advocate for individuals should learn to type on the computer" -> "I advocate for individuals to learn computer typing"
Explanation: Changing "I advocate for individuals should learn to type on the computer" to "I advocate for individuals to learn computer typing" streamlines the sentence and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses all parts of the question by discussing the reasons for the decline in handwriting and expressing a clear stance on whether this is a positive or negative development. Relevant examples are provided to support the points made.
- How to improve: While the essay adequately addresses all parts of the question, it could benefit from providing more specific examples related to the decline in handwriting and its impact.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position throughout, expressing a belief in the benefits of the decline in handwriting due to technological advancements.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the position in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion for emphasis.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas are presented and extended sufficiently. The essay discusses the reasons for the decline in handwriting and elaborates on the benefits of technological advancement.
- How to improve: To further improve, provide more detailed examples and possibly explore counterarguments to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the reasons for the decline in handwriting and presenting arguments in favor of this development.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic. Avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure that all points contribute to the overall argument.

Overall Comments:
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the key elements. To improve, consider incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on ideas for a more comprehensive and nuanced discussion. Additionally, maintaining a clear position throughout the essay and avoiding any slight deviations from the main topic would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets the stage by addressing the decline in traditional writing tools. The body paragraphs follow a clear progression, discussing the reasons for the decline and presenting the writer’s stance on its positive aspects. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points. However, there’s room for improvement in the organization within paragraphs, as some ideas could be more seamlessly connected for a smoother flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using transitional phrases to connect related ideas. Additionally, within paragraphs, arrange sentences in a way that builds a cohesive narrative. For instance, elaborate on the reasons for the decline in a more structured manner.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is appropriately divided into paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader. For instance, the second paragraph could better signal its focus on the reasons for the decline in handwriting.
- How to improve: Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This helps the reader understand the purpose of the paragraph from the outset. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph follows a logical order of ideas, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "Moreover," "Furthermore," "In conclusion") and pronouns to connect ideas. However, some transitions could be more varied for a richer effect, and the use of cohesive devices could be more strategic to enhance overall coherence.
- How to improve: Experiment with a broader range of transition words to add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s flow. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are strategically placed to guide the reader through the essay’s logical structure. For example, consider using parallel structure and varied sentence lengths to create a more engaging rhythm.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the coherence and cohesion criteria, refining the organization within paragraphs, strengthening topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and cohesive piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. It incorporates words such as "phenomenon," "paramount importance," "advantages," "evolution," and "facilitates," indicating an attempt to use a variety of terms. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further. For instance, synonyms or more nuanced expressions could be employed to enhance lexical richness.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms and exploring more sophisticated vocabulary choices. For instance, instead of frequently using the term "advantages," experiment with alternatives like "benefits," "merits," or "positive aspects" to add depth to the expression.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where a more precise choice of words could enhance clarity. For example, the phrase "paramount importance" could be replaced with a more specific term that precisely captures the significance, such as "crucial" or "central."
- How to improve: Pay close attention to specific word choices to ensure they precisely convey the intended meaning. Instead of using broad terms, opt for words that precisely capture the essence of the idea being communicated.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. There are no glaring spelling errors that significantly detract from the overall quality of the writing. However, it is essential to address minor spelling issues, such as the use of "is" instead of "it is" in the sentence "because everybody readily accesses the information available on the internet, it helps them easily copy, edit, and exchange it."
- How to improve: Proofread the essay meticulously to catch and rectify minor spelling errors. Additionally, be cautious of using contractions in formal writing, as it might be advisable to use the full form for greater formality and clarity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates competence in lexical resource but can benefit from a more varied and precise choice of vocabulary. Additionally, attention to minor spelling details will further enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences are prevalent, with occasional complex structures. For example, "The reason why writing with pens, pencils, and brushes is not popular now is that the advent and progression of technology have a paramount importance in this phenomenon" showcases a complex sentence structure. However, more variety, such as the inclusion of complex compound or compound-complex sentences, could enhance the essay’s sophistication.
- How to improve: To elevate sentence structure variety, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences to show a higher command of syntax. For instance, experiment with combining ideas using subordination and coordination.
Use Grammar Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays grammatical accuracy, but some instances require attention. For instance, the phrase "The traditional form of writing such as pens, pencils, or brushes has noticeably decreased" could be refined to "The traditional forms of writing, such as pens, pencils, or brushes, have noticeably decreased." Additionally, in the sentence "I advocate for individuals should learn to type on the computer," the word "should" is redundant; it should be "I advocate for individuals to learn to type on the computer."
- How to improve: Pay meticulous attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Review each sentence for clarity and grammatical correctness. In particular, revise sentences that may contain unnecessary words or redundancies.
Use Correct Punctuation:
- Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are instances where improvements can be made. For example, the sentence "Concerning the pros and cons, I firmly believe that this evolution presents numerous advantages" lacks a comma after "Concerning the pros and cons." In the sentence "Furthermore, digital communication facilitates swifter and more efficient search for information, enhancing productivity in various aspects of work and life," a semicolon after "information" would enhance the sentence’s coherence.
- How to improve: Strengthen punctuation skills by reviewing rules related to commas, semicolons, and other punctuation marks. Ensure consistency in using punctuation throughout the essay. Practice incorporating various punctuation marks to add nuance and clarity to your sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and a reasonable range of structures, refining sentence variety and addressing specific grammatical and punctuation nuances will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The conventional method of writing with pens, pencils, or brushes has seen a significant decline. This essay will scrutinize the reasons behind this phenomenon and discuss whether it is a positive or negative development.

The decline in using pens, pencils, and brushes can be attributed to the paramount influence of technology. Nowadays, individuals tend to favor typing over writing due to its convenience. Significantly diminished is the need for physical tools, as individuals only need their laptop or phone to take notes or compose text across various platforms. Furthermore, typing is generally faster than writing by hand, and on-screen communication is improved. Consequently, the use of pens and pencils diminishes, leading to a reduction in handwritten notes and letters.

Regarding the advantages and disadvantages of this shift, I firmly believe that it brings forth numerous benefits. Firstly, it eliminates the need to carry physical books or pens, as individuals can write, save, and access their content on electronic devices. Moreover, digital communication enables quicker and more efficient information retrieval, enhancing productivity in various aspects of work and life. Everyone can readily access internet information, making it easier to copy, edit, and exchange data.

In conclusion, fewer people choose handwriting, as it is less prevalent. The advent of technology has significantly influenced this phenomenon. I advocate for individuals to learn computer typing, as it offers several benefits in today’s digital age.