Travelling is one of the most popular recreational activities we have. Some people like to travel alone while others like to travel with a group of people. What would you prefer, travelling alone or travelling with some people?

Travelling is one of the most popular recreational activities we have. Some people like to travel alone while others like to travel with a group of people.
What would you prefer, travelling alone or travelling with some people?

Nowadays, We have many ways relax after working hard such as traveling, visiting hometown, going pagodas ,ect. Among many recreational activities, most people choose travelling to healing them. to travel is one of the most popular recreational activities. There are two opinions that you can go alone or go with a group. In my opinion, I prefer travelling with a group to travelling alone.
Firstly, travelling with a group is safer. We can protect each other stay safe as we stay together. During we arrive and go travel, we can assure that we can safe all time, there are many dangerous things can appear anytime such as stealing, accidents, get lost,..So at this time, the friends who will do us a favor and protect from dangerous situations
Secondly, we will have many memories together and strenthen group bonds. All of us won't be alone and bored that we can play games, play cards, take photos or have meals together. We can understand each others better and get on well together. During going travel, we can show our knowledge about the place we go and share unforgetable memories together such as the first time we can see a beatiful sceney, a pretty voice,..That will be joyful if there are friends around to cheer us up.
Thirdly, going with a group is cheaper, that we can share the bills, rent a homestay to stay in few days. Beside it, we can try many new food and experiences by sharing them. To sum up, going travel with a group is the best choice as many advantages and it not a safer reason but also a great feelings of sharing

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Errors and Improvements:

"Nowadays, We have many ways relax" -> "Currently, there are numerous methods to relax"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal alternative to "Nowadays," and the passive construction "there are numerous methods to relax" is more appropriate for academic writing than the informal and grammatically incorrect "We have many ways relax."
"such as traveling, visiting hometown, going pagodas ,ect." -> "such as traveling, visiting one’s hometown, and going to pagodas."
Explanation: The list should be grammatically parallel ("visiting one’s hometown" aligns with the other gerund phrases), and "ect." is a misspelling of "etc.," which is too informal for academic writing. The conjunction "and" is preferred over a comma before the final item in a list for clarity and formality.
"most people choose travelling to healing them." -> "many individuals opt for travel as a form of healing."
Explanation: "Many individuals" is more formal than "most people," and "opt for travel as a form of healing" is a clearer and more academically appropriate way to express the idea.
"you can go alone or go with a group." -> "one may travel alone or in a group."
Explanation: Using "one" as a subject is more formal and avoids the direct address "you," which is less appropriate in academic writing.
"Firstly, travelling with a group is safer." -> "First, traveling with a group enhances safety."
Explanation: "First" is a more formal ordinal indicator than "Firstly," and "enhances safety" is a more precise and formal way of saying "is safer."
"We can protect each other stay safe" -> "Participants can ensure mutual safety"
Explanation: "Participants" is a more formal term than "We," and "ensure mutual safety" is a clearer, more formal expression.
"During we arrive and go travel" -> "From arrival to departure"
Explanation: "From arrival to departure" is a more formal and succinct way to express the time frame being discussed.
"there are many dangerous things can appear" -> "various hazards may arise"
Explanation: "Various hazards may arise" is a more formal and precise way of stating "there are many dangerous things can appear."
"strenthen group bonds" -> "strengthen group bonds"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "strengthen" for accuracy.
"All of us won’t be alone and bored" -> "None of us will experience solitude or boredom"
Explanation: "None of us will experience solitude or boredom" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the idea.
"we can play games, play cards, take photos or have meals together." -> "participants can engage in activities such as playing games, card games, taking photographs, or sharing meals."
Explanation: Using "participants" as mentioned earlier maintains formality, and listing activities with "such as" introduces examples in a more structured and academic manner.
"we can understand each others better" -> "we can achieve a better understanding of one another"
Explanation: "Achieve a better understanding of one another" is a more formal and precise way of expressing mutual comprehension.
"During going travel" -> "While traveling"
Explanation: "While traveling" is a more concise and formal expression.
"unforgetable memories" -> "unforgettable memories"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "unforgettable" for accuracy.
"a beatiful sceney, a pretty voice,.." -> "a beautiful scenery, a pleasant sound,"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "beautiful" and replaces "pretty voice" with "pleasant sound" for clarity and formality. Also, the ellipsis is replaced with a comma for correct punctuation.
"That will be joyful" -> "This can be joyful"
Explanation: "This can be joyful" is a more formal and precise way to introduce the idea.
"going with a group is cheaper, that we can share the bills" -> "traveling in a group is more cost-effective, as expenses can be shared"
Explanation: "More cost-effective" is a more formal way of saying "cheaper," and "as expenses can be shared" is clearer and more formal than "that we can share the bills."
"Beside it" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Additionally" is a more formal transitional phrase than "Beside it."
"going travel" -> "traveling"
Explanation: "Traveling" is the correct verb form to use here, making the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.
"it not a safer reason but also a great feelings of sharing" -> "it offers not only enhanced safety but also a profound sense of shared experiences"
Explanation: The revised sentence corrects grammatical errors and employs more formal language to express the idea of safety and shared experiences more clearly and effectively.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing the preference between traveling alone and traveling with a group. It outlines reasons for preferring to travel with a group and provides examples to support this stance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each point is fully elaborated upon and supported with more specific examples or personal experiences. Additionally, explicitly addressing the alternative viewpoint of preferring to travel alone would add depth to the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently advocating for traveling with a group. Each paragraph reinforces this stance, providing reasons and examples to support it.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, enhancing the essay’s coherence by structuring arguments more logically and cohesively can further strengthen the clarity of the position. Additionally, refining transitions between paragraphs can improve the flow of ideas.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the advantages of traveling with a group, such as safety, shared experiences, and cost-sharing. However, some ideas could be further developed and elaborated upon to provide more depth and insight.
- How to improve: Expand upon each idea by providing specific examples, anecdotes, or data to enrich the discussion. This will help in extending the argument and providing a more thorough analysis of the benefits of group travel.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages of traveling with a group compared to traveling alone. However, there are moments where the discussion slightly deviates, such as briefly mentioning ways to relax after working hard.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points directly relate to the topic of traveling preferences. Avoid introducing tangential topics or ideas that do not directly contribute to the central argument. Stay concise and focused on discussing the advantages of group travel.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents reasons for preferring to travel with a group and maintains a clear position throughout, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed examples, enhancing coherence, and ensuring complete adherence to the topic. By refining these aspects, the essay can further strengthen its argumentation and achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are instances where the coherence could be improved. For instance, the introduction could be clearer and more engaging to set up the discussion effectively. Additionally, some of the body paragraphs could transition more smoothly between points, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider restructuring the introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement and hook the reader’s interest from the beginning. Additionally, ensure that each body paragraph transitions seamlessly from one point to the next, providing clear topic sentences and supporting details to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different points, but the paragraphing structure could be more effective. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear transitions, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument cohesively.
- How to improve: Work on refining paragraph structure by focusing on unity and coherence within each paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, and ensure that subsequent sentences support and develop that idea coherently. Additionally, use transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("we," "us") and transitional phrases ("firstly," "secondly," "thirdly"). However, there is room for improvement in diversifying and using cohesive devices more effectively to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: Consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, including conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore," "in addition"), reference words (e.g., "these," "those"), and synonyms to avoid repetition. Use these devices strategically to establish connections between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for refinement. Focus on strengthening the organization of ideas, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "recreational activities," "dangerous situations," "unforgettable memories," and "homestay." However, there is a repetition of some vocabulary ("traveling," "group," "alone") which limits the variety. Additionally, certain phrases lack specificity, such as "many ways relax after working hard" and "a pretty voice."
- How to improve: To enhance your lexical resource, strive for more diversity in vocabulary usage. Instead of frequently repeating words like "traveling" and "group," explore synonyms or alternate expressions. Aim to replace general terms like "pretty voice" with more descriptive language, providing vivid imagery for the reader. Incorporating specific terminology related to travel experiences or emotions can enrich your essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys meaning, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "going pagodas" could be clarified (e.g., visiting pagodas). Additionally, phrases like "a beatiful sceney" contain spelling errors that hinder precision.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to word choice and spelling accuracy to ensure clarity and precision in your writing. Use vocabulary precisely by selecting words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Proofreading your work thoroughly can help identify and correct spelling errors, contributing to a more polished and precise presentation.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "pagodas" instead of "visiting pagodas," "beatiful" instead of "beautiful," and "unforgetable" instead of "unforgettable." While these errors do not significantly impair comprehension, they detract from the overall professionalism and accuracy of the essay.
- How to improve: Enhance your spelling accuracy by utilizing tools such as spell checkers and dictionaries during the writing process. Additionally, allocate time for thorough proofreading to identify and correct spelling mistakes before finalizing your work. Developing a habit of reviewing your writing for errors can contribute to improved spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of structures further. Simple sentences dominate the essay, which affects the overall sophistication of the writing. While some complex structures are attempted, they are not consistently employed throughout the essay. For instance, the essay tends to rely heavily on basic sentence constructions such as subject-verb-object patterns. An example of a more complex structure can be found in the sentence: "During going travel, we can show our knowledge about the place we go and share unforgettable memories together such as the first time we can see a beautiful scenery, a pretty voice,.." This sentence exhibits a relative clause ("such as the first time we can see a beautiful scenery"), adding depth to the expression.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence types, including complex and compound-complex structures. Experiment with introductory phrases, subordinate clauses, and varied sentence lengths to add sophistication to your writing. For instance, instead of relying solely on simple sentences, try integrating compound or complex sentences to convey ideas more intricately. Additionally, pay attention to parallelism and coherence within sentences to ensure clarity and fluidity in your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy overall. However, there are noticeable errors throughout the text, particularly in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tense consistency. For example, "During we arrive and go travel, we can assure that we can safe all time," contains errors in subject-verb agreement ("During we arrive" should be "While we arrive") and verb tense consistency ("can safe" should be "can stay safe"). Additionally, there are instances of missing or incorrectly used articles, such as "a beatiful sceney" instead of "beautiful scenery."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and practice fundamental grammar rules, focusing on areas where errors are commonly made. Pay particular attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Utilize resources such as grammar guides, online exercises, and language learning apps to reinforce your understanding of grammar rules and their application. Additionally, proofreading your writing carefully before submission can help identify and correct grammatical errors. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to gain insights into areas for improvement and to refine your grammatical skills effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, there are various ways to relax after working hard, such as traveling, visiting one’s hometown, or going to pagodas, among others. Among these recreational activities, many individuals opt for travel as a form of healing. When it comes to travel, there are two preferences: traveling alone or traveling with a group. In my opinion, I prefer traveling with a group rather than traveling alone.

Firstly, traveling with a group enhances safety. Participants can ensure mutual safety by staying together from arrival to departure. Various hazards may arise during travel, such as theft, accidents, or getting lost. Therefore, having friends around can provide assistance and protection from such dangerous situations.

Secondly, traveling with a group allows us to create many memories together and strengthen group bonds. None of us will experience solitude or boredom as we can engage in activities such as playing games, card games, taking photographs, or sharing meals. Through these shared experiences, we can achieve a better understanding of one another and develop stronger relationships. While traveling, we can also cherish unforgettable memories, such as experiencing beautiful scenery or hearing pleasant sounds, which adds to the joy of the journey.

Thirdly, traveling with a group is more cost-effective, as expenses can be shared. Additionally, it offers not only enhanced safety but also a profound sense of shared experiences. We can split bills and even rent accommodations together, allowing us to save money while still enjoying the trip to its fullest. Moreover, by sharing meals and trying new experiences together, we can make the journey more enriching and enjoyable for everyone involved.

In conclusion, traveling with a group offers numerous advantages, including enhanced safety, the opportunity to create lasting memories and strengthen bonds, and cost-effectiveness. Therefore, I believe that traveling with some people is the best choice for a fulfilling and enjoyable travel experience.