Online classes make conventional classrooms unnecessary. To what extent do you agree/ disagree?

Given the growing popularity of technology in modern times, the trend in a host of countries has become increasingly prevalent to apply e-learning into numerous circumstances in education. This essay attempts to shed light on the advent of online courses before clarifying that traditional classroom models still play an indispensable part of our lives.
On the one hand, the accelerating development of web-based classes may yield plenty of benefits to a certain extent. First and foremost, the enormous cost incurred to students’ tuition payments could be changed to decline. It is a low cost invested for this method of learning that is the underlying motive behind this tendency, thereby leading to internet-based courses that would be more accessible to citizens over the world, especially the underprivileged, irrespective of their socioeconomic status. Secondly, learners would overcome time constraints and geographical boundaries thanks to the virtual environment. For example, the provision of free online courses about a range of fields such as law or medicine which are released by Harvard University each month. Hence, this campaign could help inhabitants acquire enough knowledge, and even more to produce desirable learning outcomes.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned merits, I would contend that it is of paramount importance for learners to pursue a brick-and-mortar operation because of the following compelling reasons. One rationale in favor of this perspective is that it could create an interactive environment for students. For instance, live discussion and teamwork make two-way interaction for students to overcome their limits and join the lessons among others. This acts as a precursor to the development of honing interpersonal skills including communication and problem-solving ability in students, which are greatly beneficial for them in the foreseeable future. Moreover, some disciplines require face- to-face interaction for executing some professional experiments. In terms of this situation, Chemistry and Physics are testaments to the need to keep traditional courses because it is impossible to involve elaborate lab set-up and equipment through internet classes.
In conclusion, it is irrefutable that virtual learning could be a viable remedy for tackling some issues; My firm conviction is that the merits of physical classroom still outweigh effectiveness.

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Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages of online classes and the continued importance of conventional classrooms. It acknowledges the benefits of online learning, such as cost-effectiveness and accessibility, while also recognizing the significance of traditional classrooms for interactive learning and hands-on experiences.
- How to improve: To further enhance task response, ensure that each paragraph is explicitly linked back to the prompt. Provide more specific examples or evidence to support the points made about the importance of traditional classrooms.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that while online learning has its merits, traditional classrooms are still essential. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by explicitly stating it in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, reinforce the argument by providing stronger and more diverse examples to support the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, providing examples and explanations to support both sides of the argument. However, some points could be further developed to enhance the depth of analysis.
- How to improve: Extend the discussion of each point by providing additional details, examples, or counterarguments where applicable. This will enrich the essay and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, addressing the relevance of online classes versus conventional classrooms as per the prompt. However, there are minor instances where the focus shifts slightly.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the central argument and refrain from including tangential information. Review the essay to eliminate any points that do not directly contribute to the discussion of online versus traditional learning.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear position, presents and supports ideas, and mostly stays on topic. To improve further, focus on providing more specific examples, reinforcing the central argument, extending the analysis of each point, and ensuring strict adherence to the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by presenting arguments both for and against the necessity of traditional classrooms in the context of online learning. The introduction provides a clear overview of the essay’s direction, and each paragraph develops a distinct point with appropriate examples.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider strengthening the transition between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to avoid potential confusion for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure its arguments. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as the benefits of online learning and the importance of traditional classrooms, contributing to coherence.
- How to improve: While the essay employs paragraphs adequately, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. This will provide a stronger framework for the development of each argument within the paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("First and foremost," "Notwithstanding," "In conclusion") to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Additionally, it effectively uses pronouns and reference words to link concepts within and across sentences.
- How to improve: To further enrich cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices such as synonyms, parallel structures, and conjunctions. This will add depth to the essay’s coherence and facilitate a smoother progression of ideas for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating diverse terms such as "prevalent," "underprivileged," "socioeconomic," "interactive," "precursor," and "irrefutable." These words contribute to the depth and variety of expression throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical richness, consider incorporating more specialized vocabulary relevant to the essay’s topic. For instance, instead of using general terms like "tendency," "campaign," or "issues," consider employing subject-specific terminology related to education and technology.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, there are instances where words could be used more accurately. For example, the phrase "the trend in a host of countries has become increasingly prevalent" could be refined for greater precision, perhaps by specifying which countries or by using a more specific term than "prevalent." Additionally, the phrase "brick-and-mortar operation" might be clearer if replaced with "traditional classroom setting" for easier comprehension.
- How to improve: Continuously refine vocabulary choices to ensure they precisely convey intended meanings. Consider using synonyms or more contextually appropriate terms to enhance clarity and precision. For instance, instead of "irrefutable," consider using "undeniable" or "unquestionable" for a smoother flow of expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors occur, such as "disciplines" spelled as "discplines" and "operate" spelled as "operation." These errors do not significantly detract from comprehension but indicate areas for improvement.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers available in word processing software. Additionally, proofreading essays carefully before submission can help catch and correct spelling errors. Developing a habit of reviewing written work for spelling accuracy can lead to enhanced overall writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at utilizing a variety of sentence structures. It includes complex sentences, compound sentences, and some subordinate clauses, showcasing a moderate range of grammatical structures. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of sentences further to enhance coherence and complexity. For instance, while there are instances of compound sentences, incorporating more complex compound-complex structures or conditional sentences could enrich the essay’s syntactic variety.
- How to improve: To further enhance the essay’s grammatical range, consider integrating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If online classes were supplemented with interactive elements, their efficacy could be further augmented"), parallel structures (e.g., "Not only do traditional classrooms facilitate hands-on learning, but they also foster interpersonal skills"), or inversion (e.g., "Only through physical classrooms can students fully engage in laboratory experiments"). Additionally, varying sentence lengths can contribute to a more engaging and dynamic writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. Most sentences are grammatically correct, with few errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Punctuation is generally accurate, aiding in clarity and comprehension. However, there are some instances of minor errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("learners would overcome time constraints and geographical boundaries thanks to the virtual environment") and missing articles ("the enormous cost incurred to students’ tuition payments could be changed to decline"). Additionally, some sentences could benefit from clearer structuring to avoid confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency throughout the essay. Proofreading for missing articles or prepositions can help refine the clarity of expression. For example, in the sentence "learners would overcome time constraints," consider revising to "learners could overcome time constraints." Additionally, ensure that complex ideas are presented clearly and cohesively through well-structured sentences. Reviewing sentence construction can help identify areas where clarity can be enhanced, particularly in complex or lengthy sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical structures and punctuation, refining sentence variety and addressing minor errors can elevate the clarity and sophistication of the writing, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Given the increasing integration of technology in modern society, many countries have embraced the utilization of online learning in various educational contexts. This essay aims to discuss the rise of online courses while acknowledging the continued importance of traditional classrooms.

On one hand, the rapid growth of internet-based classes can offer several benefits. Firstly, it significantly reduces the financial burden on students, making education more affordable. This affordability is a key driving force behind the popularity of online learning, making it accessible to people worldwide, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds. Secondly, online courses eliminate the constraints of time and location, allowing learners to access educational materials and resources from anywhere at any time. For example, Harvard University offers free online courses in various fields every month, enabling individuals to gain knowledge and skills efficiently.

However, despite these advantages, I maintain that traditional classrooms remain essential for several reasons. One significant advantage is the interactive environment they provide. Live discussions and group work facilitate meaningful interactions among students, fostering the development of interpersonal skills such as communication and problem-solving. Additionally, certain subjects, particularly those involving practical experiments, require hands-on learning facilitated by face-to-face interaction. For instance, disciplines like Chemistry and Physics necessitate physical laboratories and equipment that cannot be replicated in an online setting.

In conclusion, while virtual learning offers solutions to certain challenges, I firmly believe that traditional classrooms continue to hold greater significance. The interactive nature of physical classrooms and the practical requirements of certain subjects underscore the enduring relevance of conventional education methods.