Some people want government to spend money on life on other planets. However, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth already has so many problems. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Science and technology have grown by leaps and bounds over the past decade. Nevertheless, scientists are still finding whether life on other planets is possible or not. However, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that the government has to spend more money for searching existence beyond our solar system while others emphasize that management has to work on pressing issues on earth. In my opinion, there must be a limit on outer space study expense, and other problems such as poverty are also needed to address.

Apparently, various factors make a section of people advocates that outer space study must be a priority and many reasons to substantiate it. Firstly, it brings plentiful long-run benefits like due to excess use of natural resources such as water, fossil fuel are depleting and will be extinct in near future and without these resources human existence could endanger. Therefore, an alternative is needed and other planets materials could be used for smooth living on earth. In addition, the population on earth is rapidly increasing, So, sooner or later an additional spot is needed to live. For instance : Scientist has discovered that survival on the moon is possible and there will be a place to live in coming years.

On the other hand, some believe that the government has to work on improving human living standards than studying outer zone for myriads of reasons. chiefly, world is facing major concers such as scarcity of food supplies, poverty and life threatning diseases, and a remedial action is needed to taken by management. To illustrate: nowadays, coronavirus is life threatning illness and spreading by human touch. As a result, many people are passed away because of this. So, a prompt action needed to cure from this issue.

To conclude, In my opinion, while astrophysictics study is benefical for human growth and a better future but management considerable attension is also needed on extreme issues for human favourable living.

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Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument as required by the prompt. It discusses the perspective of those advocating for government spending on space exploration and presents the opposing viewpoint emphasizing the need to focus on pressing issues on Earth. The writer also offers their own opinion on the matter.
- How to improve: The essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of each viewpoint. Providing additional examples or elaborating further on the consequences of both courses of action would enhance the depth of analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a consistent position throughout the essay, advocating for a balanced approach that limits spending on outer space exploration while addressing pressing issues on Earth.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, the writer could explicitly state their position in the introduction and conclusion, ensuring the reader has a clear understanding of the author’s stance from the outset.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on both sides of the argument and attempts to support them with examples. However, the development of these ideas could be more robust. For instance, while the essay mentions the depletion of natural resources and the potential for using materials from other planets, it lacks detailed elaboration or evidence to support these claims.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should provide more in-depth explanations and evidence to support their arguments. Utilizing specific examples, statistics, or expert opinions would enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the allocation of government funds between space exploration and addressing terrestrial issues. However, there are instances where the relevance to the prompt could be strengthened. For example, the discussion of the coronavirus outbreak, while relevant to global issues, could be more directly linked to the topic of government spending priorities.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made relates directly to the prompt. Avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that each argument directly contributes to the central thesis will help to keep the essay on track.

Overall, while the essay adequately addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of expression, and relevance of examples provided. By providing more detailed explanations, explicitly stating the author’s position, strengthening supporting evidence, and maintaining focus on the topic, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a somewhat logical organization, with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. However, the development within paragraphs lacks clear progression at times. For instance, in the first body paragraph, the connection between the depletion of natural resources and the need for alternative living spaces is somewhat abrupt. Additionally, the conclusion could better summarize the main points discussed in the essay for stronger coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing smoother transitions between ideas within paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and develops it cohesively. In the conclusion, summarize the main arguments made in the body paragraphs to reinforce coherence and cohesion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize ideas, but the structure within paragraphs could be more refined. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear separation, leading to a lack of coherence within those sections.
- How to improve: Aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on developing a single point or aspect of the argument. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller, more focused ones to improve clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to some extent, but their use is limited. There is a need for more varied and sophisticated cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas and paragraphs.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, including conjunctions, pronouns, and adverbs, to establish clearer relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices strategically to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas and reinforce coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion through its organization and use of paragraphs, there are areas for improvement to enhance the clarity and logical flow of ideas. Focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraph structure, and a broader range of cohesive devices will strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including terms like "astrophysics study," "life-threatening illnesses," "depleting," and "extinct." However, some phrases are repetitive or lack variety, such as "outer space study" and "management." There are also instances where simpler words could have been replaced with more precise or sophisticated alternatives.
- How to improve: To improve, aim for more variety in vocabulary usage. Instead of repeating phrases like "outer space study" and "management," try using synonyms or different phrases to avoid redundancy. Additionally, consider using more precise and sophisticated vocabulary where appropriate to enhance the overall lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s vocabulary is generally used with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity and effectiveness. For example, "world is facing major concerns such as scarcity of food supplies" could be more precise by specifying the scarcity of specific resources or food items.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Avoid generalizations and strive for specificity. Consider using more specific terms or providing additional details to clarify your points further.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of spelling accuracy. However, there are several instances of misspellings and typographical errors, such as "concurs" instead of "concerns," "attenstion" instead of "attention," and "remidial" instead of "remedial."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider using spell-checking tools and proofreading your work carefully. Pay close attention to common spelling errors and practice regularly to reinforce correct spelling habits.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of vocabulary usage and spelling accuracy, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and accuracy. By expanding your vocabulary, using words more precisely, and improving your spelling habits, you can enhance the overall quality and effectiveness of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to incorporate a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences. However, there is still room for improvement in enhancing the diversity and sophistication of sentence structures. For instance, there is a tendency to rely on simple sentence structures, which may limit the overall fluency and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and sophistication of the essay, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as compound-complex sentences and utilizing advanced grammatical constructions like participial phrases, gerund phrases, and relative clauses. Additionally, strive for a balance between sentence lengths to maintain reader engagement and coherence throughout the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy, with minor errors scattered throughout the text. For example, there are instances of subject-verb agreement errors ("scientists are still finding whether life on other planets is possible or not") and punctuation errors (missing commas in compound sentences). However, these errors do not significantly impede the reader’s understanding of the content.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to review and practice common grammatical rules, paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper punctuation usage. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct any lingering errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to gain insights into areas of improvement and refine grammatical skills further.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of grammar and a willingness to utilize a range of sentence structures, continued practice and refinement are essential to achieve greater fluency, coherence, and accuracy in written expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

Science and technology have advanced significantly in recent years, yet the question of life on other planets remains unanswered. There are two main perspectives on this matter. Some argue that governments should allocate funds to explore outer space, while others believe such expenditures are wasteful given the numerous problems already present on Earth. In my view, while outer space exploration is valuable, there should be a balance, with attention also directed towards addressing pressing earthly issues like poverty.

Those advocating for increased spending on outer space research highlight potential long-term benefits. They argue that as Earth’s natural resources, such as water and fossil fuels, are depleted, alternative sources must be sought elsewhere. Moreover, with the Earth’s population rapidly expanding, there may come a time when additional living space is necessary. For example, scientists suggest that survival on the moon may be feasible in the future, offering a potential solution to overcrowding.

However, others contend that governments should prioritize improving living standards on Earth. Issues such as food scarcity, poverty, and life-threatening diseases require urgent attention. For instance, the recent COVID-19 pandemic has demonstrated the importance of addressing health crises promptly to prevent loss of life.

In conclusion, while the study of astrophysics holds promise for humanity’s future, it should not overshadow the need to address pressing issues that affect people’s quality of life on Earth. Governments should strike a balance between investing in outer space exploration and tackling immediate challenges for the betterment of humanity.