The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

some individual argue that it is beneficial for everyone to travel globally when affordable air travel is increasingly available. some feel it is positive promotion while others believe that it is negative . Both sides of this argument will be shed light on this essay below, and my opinion is that this problem has both merits and demerits in equal measure
the begin with , the low-cost airline contribute to positive impact including the nation’s progressive economy and the enhanced civilized society.
to commence the positive side , the first view is that it can be affordable for all classes of society. to explain it, in the past , airline services were primarily a mode of transportation for wealthy people . however the low-cost airline is gain more and more populary in community for many individuals who can travel around the world with affordable prices .for instead, people can exposed to many culture and tradition in the world and have more knowledge about this opportunity.
Nevertheless , this phenomenon causes a negative impact of environment and nation's image . first and foremost , because many individuals use more service in the low-cost airline to travel lead to increase the cacbon emission release into the air. secondly customer have more frustrating experience about fight and reflect this negative on social media
in conclusion , I claim that this trend facilitates the economic development of nation and the personal growth; however, it also results in the environmental destruction and the decreased reputation’s nation.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "some individual argue" -> "Some individuals argue"
    Explanation: "Some individual" should be pluralized to "individuals" to maintain grammatical correctness.
  2. "positive promotion" -> "positive phenomenon" or "positive development"
    Explanation: "Positive promotion" is vague and doesn’t clearly convey the intended meaning. Alternatives like "positive phenomenon" or "positive development" are more precise.
  3. "shed light on this essay below" -> "be examined in this essay"
    Explanation: "Shed light on this essay below" is an informal expression. "Be examined in this essay" is a more appropriate and formal alternative.
  4. "the begin with" -> "To begin with"
    Explanation: "The begin with" lacks proper structure. "To begin with" is a standard phrase to introduce the beginning of an argument or discussion.
  5. "low-cost airline contribute to positive impact" -> "low-cost airlines contribute to positive impacts"
    Explanation: "Airline" should be pluralized to "airlines" to match the plural subject "low-cost" and maintain agreement.
  6. "the nation’s progressive economy and the enhanced civilized society" -> "the nation’s economy and the advancement of civilization"
    Explanation: "Progressive economy" and "enhanced civilized society" are somewhat redundant and unclear. Simplifying to "the nation’s economy and the advancement of civilization" is more direct and concise.
  7. "to commence the positive side" -> "Firstly, on the positive side"
    Explanation: "To commence" is overly formal and awkward. "Firstly, on the positive side" is a more natural way to introduce the first argument.
  8. "it can be affordable for all classes of society" -> "it is accessible to individuals of all socioeconomic backgrounds"
    Explanation: "Affordable for all classes of society" is somewhat colloquial. "Accessible to individuals of all socioeconomic backgrounds" is a more precise and formal alternative.
  9. "the low-cost airline is gain more and more populary in community" -> "low-cost airlines are becoming increasingly popular in communities"
    Explanation: "Low-cost airline is gain more and more populary in community" contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity. "Low-cost airlines are becoming increasingly popular in communities" is grammatically correct and clearer.
  10. "people can exposed to many culture and tradition" -> "people can be exposed to many cultures and traditions"
    Explanation: "People can exposed to many culture and tradition" lacks proper verb conjugation. "People can be exposed to many cultures and traditions" is grammatically correct.
  11. "Nevertheless" -> "However,"
    Explanation: "Nevertheless" is less common in academic writing compared to "However," which is more appropriate for transitioning between contrasting ideas.
  12. "cause a negative impact of environment" -> "cause negative environmental impacts"
    Explanation: "Cause a negative impact of environment" lacks clarity and proper grammar. "Cause negative environmental impacts" is a clearer and grammatically correct alternative.
  13. "lead to increase the cacbon emission release into the air" -> "lead to an increase in carbon emissions released into the air"
    Explanation: "Lead to increase the cacbon emission release into the air" contains several errors. "Lead to an increase in carbon emissions released into the air" is grammatically correct and clearer.
  14. "customer have more frustrating experience about fight" -> "customers have more frustrating experiences with flights"
    Explanation: "Customer have more frustrating experience about fight" contains errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice. "Customers have more frustrating experiences with flights" is grammatically correct and clearer.
  15. "reflect this negative on social media" -> "reflect negatively on social media"
    Explanation: "Reflect this negative on social media" lacks clarity. "Reflect negatively on social media" is a clearer alternative.

In conclusion, the essay contains various grammatical errors, informal expressions, and awkward phrasings that detract from its academic tone. By making the suggested improvements, the text becomes clearer, more precise, and aligns better with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the availability of low-cost airlines, acknowledging both positive and negative aspects. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity. While it mentions the positive impact on economy and society and the negative consequences on the environment and social experiences, these points are not sufficiently elaborated or exemplified.
    • How to improve: To improve, ensure each side of the argument is thoroughly explored with specific examples or evidence. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support each point.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a nuanced view by acknowledging both benefits and drawbacks of affordable air travel. However, the stance is not consistently clear. The conclusion somewhat leans towards the positive impacts, but the overall position is not strongly established or consistently maintained throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: It’s essential to clearly state and maintain a defined position from the introduction through to the conclusion. Make sure each paragraph contributes to reinforcing and elaborating on this position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks sufficient development and support. Examples are mentioned briefly but not elaborated upon. For instance, the positive impact on the economy and society is mentioned without specific details or evidence. Similarly, the negative impacts are briefly outlined but lack depth.
    • How to improve: Extend and support ideas with specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes. Develop each point further to enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but lacks focus and coherence. There are instances of unclear or disjointed sentences that detract from the overall coherence. For example, the introduction lacks clarity and coherence, making it difficult to grasp the writer’s intentions.
    • How to improve: Work on structuring sentences and paragraphs more coherently. Ensure each paragraph directly contributes to the central argument and maintains relevance to the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates some understanding of the task but falls short in depth, clarity, and coherence. To improve, focus on providing detailed explanations, maintaining a clear and consistent stance, supporting ideas with specific examples, and enhancing coherence and structure in writing. Taking time to plan and organize thoughts before writing can significantly improve the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic attempt at organizing information logically, albeit with some notable shortcomings. The introduction sets up the discussion but lacks clarity and coherence, with sentences that could be more effectively structured. For instance, the opening sentence is somewhat vague and lacks precision in presenting the topic. Additionally, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader through the essay more effectively. In the body paragraphs, there is an attempt to present arguments both for and against the availability of low-cost airlines, but the development of these points lacks depth and clarity. The conclusion attempts to summarize the main points but does so in a rather abrupt manner, failing to tie together the various arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow and structure of the essay, focus on refining the introduction to clearly state the topic and provide a roadmap for the discussion. Each body paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples to strengthen the arguments. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence and guide the reader through the essay. Finally, the conclusion should effectively summarize the key points and offer a nuanced perspective on the issue.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to organize ideas, but the effectiveness of this structure is limited by several factors. Paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult for the reader to discern the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, there are issues with paragraph length and coherence, with some paragraphs containing multiple ideas that could be better presented as separate paragraphs. For instance, the second paragraph attempts to address both positive and negative aspects of low-cost airlines without clear delineation, leading to confusion for the reader.
    • How to improve: Focus on structuring paragraphs around a single main idea or argument, clearly stated in a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph develops this main idea coherently, with supporting details and examples where necessary. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter, more focused ones to improve readability and clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create coherence. While some attempts are made to use transitional phrases and linking words (e.g., "to commence," "nevertheless," "in conclusion"), their effectiveness is undermined by errors in usage and placement. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices employed, with repetition of certain phrases and a reliance on basic connectors that do not effectively guide the reader through the essay.
    • How to improve: Expand your repertoire of cohesive devices to include a wider range of transitional phrases and linking words that demonstrate logical connections between ideas (e.g., "furthermore," "on the other hand," "conversely"). Ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly and appropriately to enhance coherence and cohesion. Vary the placement of these devices within sentences and paragraphs to create a more dynamic and engaging flow of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to parallel structure and coherence within sentences to reinforce connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to utilize a variety of vocabulary, although there are instances of repetition and some imprecise word choices that hinder the overall effectiveness. For example, phrases like "some individual argue" could be improved for clarity and coherence. Additionally, there is a lack of specific vocabulary related to the topic, such as terms specific to the airline industry or environmental impact.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specialized terms related to the discussion of low-cost airlines and their impact. Use synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of "some individual argue," use "some individuals argue" for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Furthermore, strive to include terminology pertinent to economic development, environmental concerns, and societal implications of increased air travel.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at vocabulary precision, but there are instances of imprecise language that detract from the clarity and effectiveness of communication. For example, phrases like "positive promotion" lack specificity and could be more precisely articulated. Additionally, there are grammatical errors that affect the overall precision of expression.
    • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by selecting words that accurately convey intended meanings. Instead of vague phrases like "positive promotion," specify the exact benefits or advantages being referred to. Proofread the essay thoroughly to correct grammatical errors and ensure coherence in expression. Consider consulting a thesaurus to find more precise synonyms for commonly used words and phrases.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is inconsistent throughout the essay, with several instances of misspelled words and typographical errors. For instance, "cacbon" should be spelled as "carbon," and "fight" should be "flight." These errors detract from the professionalism and credibility of the writing.
    • How to improve: Improve spelling accuracy by employing tools such as spell checkers and proofreading techniques. Take the time to carefully review the essay for spelling errors before finalizing it. Additionally, consider enhancing vocabulary retention through reading and practicing spelling exercises regularly. Developing a habit of consulting dictionaries or online resources for unfamiliar words can also aid in improving spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. However, there is limited variation in sentence complexity and sophistication. Most sentences follow a straightforward subject-verb-object pattern, with minimal use of complex or compound-complex structures. For instance, "Some feel it is positive promotion while others believe that it is negative" and "Both sides of this argument will be shed light on this essay below" exemplify this simplicity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and sophistication, incorporate a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with dependent clauses, compound-complex sentences, and rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion. For example, instead of exclusively using simple sentences, aim to integrate complex structures like "While some argue for the benefits of affordable air travel, others contend that its drawbacks outweigh its advantages." Additionally, experiment with different sentence beginnings and lengths to add variety and fluency to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair level of grammatical accuracy overall, but there are notable errors throughout the text. These errors include incorrect verb tense usage ("some individual argue"), subject-verb agreement issues ("the low-cost airline contribute"), article misuse ("the begin with"), and punctuation errors (missing commas, improper capitalization). For instance, "to commence the positive side" should be "commence with the positive side," and "gain more and more populary" should be "gaining more and more popularity."
    • How to improve: Focus on improving basic grammar skills, including verb conjugation, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofread carefully to identify and correct punctuation errors, ensuring proper placement of commas, periods, and capitalization. Consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to address specific areas of weakness in grammar and punctuation. Additionally, practice writing in controlled environments to reinforce correct usage and build confidence in applying grammatical rules accurately.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals argue that the increasing availability of low-cost airlines benefits everyone by making global travel more accessible. Some view this as a positive development, while others see it in a negative light. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives, concluding with my own opinion that this phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages.

To begin with the positive aspects, low-cost airlines contribute to the nation’s economy and foster cultural exchange. Firstly, they make air travel affordable for people across different social classes. In the past, flying was predominantly for the wealthy, but now, with low-cost airlines gaining popularity, many more individuals can explore the world at affordable prices. This exposure to diverse cultures enhances people’s understanding and appreciation of global diversity.

However, this trend also has its drawbacks, notably concerning the environment and the reputation of nations. Firstly, the increased use of low-cost airlines leads to higher carbon emissions, contributing to environmental degradation. Additionally, the affordability of these airlines sometimes results in overcrowded flights and subpar customer experiences, which can be detrimental to a nation’s image, as negative feedback is often shared on social media platforms.

In conclusion, while the proliferation of low-cost airlines facilitates economic development and personal growth, it also poses challenges such as environmental harm and damage to national reputations. Therefore, it is essential for governments and individuals to find a balance between promoting accessibility to air travel and mitigating its negative consequences.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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