Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that people’s imagination and linguistic development are significantly enhanced through reading rather than watching TV. Personally, I totally agree with this notion due to some major rationales that are explained in this essay.

The first explanation for my advocacy of reading books is based on the primary status of people in each method. Regarding films, viewers enjoy the chain of scenes set up beforehand by the film production, which is quite genuine and sophisticated. Thus, people can still grasp the concepts without imagining too much. Meanwhile, books are not as lively and colourful due to the restraints of paper. This intrinsic part requires readers to engage in the process of imagination and self-reflection, which helps them fully immerse themselves in their own world in regard to the author’s descriptions. For instance, when reading *The Alchemist* by Paulo Coelho, book enthusiasts can depict the adventure of a nomad on a remote desert in their minds. Therefore, reading books facilitates people in unleashing their imagination better than watching movies.

Another justification for my agreement lies in different ways of expression of the two given practices. Specifically, the messages in books are conveyed solely through written language, whereas those of films are a mix of sounds, images, and scripts. Hence, books put more emphasis on linguistic thinking, which requires individuals to endlessly contemplate to perceive the problems profoundly. For example, when learning a literary work, students will have to analyse the writer’s purpose in each paragraph just based on words and sentences. In addition, since readers are exposed to different styles of writing, they can sometimes pick up skills on how to arrange ideas logically and use appropriate words according to the contexts, which movies cannot offer. As a result, reading books, rather than watching TV, can equip individuals with comprehensive reading and language usage.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that people's language acquisition and imaginary skills are improved greatly via reading rather than watching television, as printed publications provide insights into language comprehension and motivations for readers to imagine. Therefore, the habit of reading books should be made more popular among communities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Personally, I totally agree" -> "I strongly concur"
Explanation: "I strongly concur" is a more formal and precise expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Personally, I totally agree."
"major rationales" -> "principal reasons"
Explanation: "Principal reasons" is a more formal and precise term than "major rationales," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts.
"Regarding films, viewers enjoy the chain of scenes set up beforehand by the film production" -> "Regarding films, viewers are presented with a pre-established sequence of scenes by the production"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the passive voice and removes the colloquial "chain of scenes," replacing it with "sequence of scenes" for a more formal tone.
"which is quite genuine and sophisticated" -> "which is authentic and sophisticated"
Explanation: "Authentic" is more precise and academically appropriate than "quite genuine," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"books are not as lively and colourful" -> "books lack the vividness and colorfulness"
Explanation: "Lack the vividness and colorfulness" is a more precise and formal way to describe the difference in visual impact between books and films.
"This intrinsic part requires readers to engage in the process of imagination and self-reflection" -> "This inherent aspect necessitates reader engagement in imaginative and reflective processes"
Explanation: "Inherent aspect" and "necessitates reader engagement" are more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"book enthusiasts can depict the adventure of a nomad on a remote desert in their minds" -> "readers can vividly imagine the nomad’s desert adventure"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "vividly imagine the nomad’s desert adventure" maintains clarity and formality while avoiding redundancy.
"Another justification for my agreement lies in different ways of expression of the two given practices" -> "Another justification for my agreement lies in the distinct modes of expression employed by these practices"
Explanation: "Distinct modes of expression employed by these practices" is more formal and precise than the original phrase, which is awkwardly constructed.
"the messages in books are conveyed solely through written language" -> "the messages in books are conveyed solely through written communication"
Explanation: "Written communication" is a more formal and encompassing term than "written language," which is somewhat vague.
"which requires individuals to endlessly contemplate to perceive the problems profoundly" -> "which necessitates continuous contemplation to deeply understand the issues"
Explanation: "Necessitates continuous contemplation to deeply understand the issues" is more formal and precise, avoiding the awkward construction of "endlessly contemplate."
"students will have to analyse the writer’s purpose in each paragraph just based on words and sentences" -> "students must analyze the author’s intent in each paragraph solely through linguistic analysis"
Explanation: "Must analyze the author’s intent" and "solely through linguistic analysis" are more precise and formal, improving the academic tone.
"As a result, reading books, rather than watching TV, can equip individuals with comprehensive reading and language usage" -> "Consequently, reading books rather than watching television can provide individuals with comprehensive reading and linguistic proficiency"
Explanation: "Consequently" and "linguistic proficiency" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic quality of the statement.
"the habit of reading books should be made more popular among communities" -> "the practice of reading books should be more widely adopted within communities"
Explanation: "More widely adopted" is a more formal and precise way to suggest increasing the popularity of an activity, replacing the less formal "made more popular."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay comprehensively addresses the prompt by asserting a strong agreement with the idea that reading books enhances imagination and language skills more than watching TV. It discusses both aspects (imagination and language skills) and provides examples to support the stance.
- How to improve: To further enhance this criterion, ensure that each body paragraph explicitly connects back to how reading books specifically develops imagination and language skills, reinforcing the essay’s stance throughout.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It starts by clearly stating agreement, and each paragraph consistently supports this stance with relevant examples and explanations.
- How to improve: To strengthen coherence, consider using stronger transitions between paragraphs to reinforce the stance and connect ideas more explicitly across the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas by comparing the cognitive demands of reading versus watching TV and supports these with specific examples (e.g., The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho). Ideas are extended through detailed explanations of how each medium affects imagination and language skills.
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, consider exploring counterarguments briefly and then refuting them to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by focusing on the differences between reading books and watching TV in terms of developing imagination and language skills. However, there are moments where the discussion slightly veers into generalizations (e.g., "films are not as lively and colourful due to the restraints of paper").
- How to improve: Maintain strict adherence to the topic by consistently linking every argument and example back to how it relates to the development of imagination and language skills, without straying into comparisons unrelated to the prompt.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively argues in favor of the benefits of reading books over watching TV for developing imagination and language skills. To improve, ensure each paragraph reinforces the central thesis explicitly, maintains clear connections between ideas, explores counterarguments briefly, and avoids tangential discussions. These refinements can further elevate the coherence and depth of the essay’s argumentation.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure. It begins with an introduction that states the author’s viewpoint, followed by two distinct body paragraphs that each elaborate on different aspects of why reading fosters imagination and language skills more effectively than watching TV. The conclusion neatly summarizes the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider explicitly linking ideas between paragraphs to create a smoother transition. For instance, using transitional phrases or sentences that connect the end of one paragraph to the beginning of the next can strengthen coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize its content. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it cohesively. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured as single paragraphs.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details or examples. This clarity helps readers follow the argument more easily. Consider revisiting the second body paragraph to strengthen the connection between the examples provided and the main argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this notion", "these reasons"), conjunctions ("therefore", "thus"), and linking phrases ("for instance", "in addition"). These devices help to connect ideas within and between sentences.
- How to improve: Continue to utilize cohesive devices to further strengthen the coherence of ideas. Ensure that each device is used appropriately and effectively to guide the reader through the logical progression of arguments. Consider incorporating more advanced cohesive devices such as parallel structures or conditional sentences where applicable.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of coherence and cohesion, as evidenced by its clear structure, effective use of paragraphs, and varied cohesive devices. To progress further towards a higher band score, focus on refining the connections between ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a seamless flow throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. It includes terms such as "sophisticated," "immerse," "nomad," "comprehensive," and "insights," which contribute to presenting ideas clearly and with some precision.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary further, consider incorporating more sophisticated synonyms or alternate expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of "sophisticated," consider using "intricate" or "elaborate." This can elevate the lexical richness of your writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage is generally precise. For example, "lively," "intrinsically," and "immerse" are used appropriately to convey specific meanings. However, there are instances where simpler words like "genuine" could be replaced with more exact terms like "authentic" or "true."
- How to improve: Focus on selecting words that precisely match the intended meaning to avoid any ambiguity. For instance, instead of "quite genuine," opt for "authentic" to strengthen clarity and precision in expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally sound throughout the essay. There are no notable spelling errors that distract from the overall coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: Continue to review spelling carefully, particularly for less common or more complex words. Consider using spell-check tools as an additional measure to catch any inadvertent errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary and spelling, there is room for refinement in selecting more sophisticated synonyms for certain terms and ensuring absolute precision in vocabulary usage. These adjustments can further enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments, aligning them more closely with the criteria for a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings. For instance, the essay utilizes conditional sentences ("if…then"), comparative structures ("more…than"), and descriptive clauses ("which requires individuals to endlessly contemplate"). These structures enhance the fluency and complexity of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more rhetorical questions, passive constructions, or inverted sentences. These additions can add sophistication and nuance to your arguments, thereby enriching the overall quality of your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. Verb tenses are used correctly, and there are minimal errors in subject-verb agreement or sentence structure. For example, the use of commas to set off non-restrictive clauses ("which helps them fully immerse themselves in their own world in regard to the author’s descriptions") is generally accurate.
- How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, pay attention to minor issues such as the correct use of articles (a, an, the), especially in complex sentences. Additionally, ensure consistent use of verb tense throughout the essay, particularly when shifting between past and present tense. Reviewing these details can polish your writing and prevent distractions from your main arguments.

Overall, your essay effectively demonstrates a strong command of grammar and a varied range of sentence structures, which are crucial elements in achieving a Band 7 score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Keep refining these skills by practicing different sentence constructions and paying attention to fine grammatical details to consistently improve your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that individuals can enhance their imagination and language skills more effectively through reading books compared to watching television. I strongly concur with this viewpoint due to several principal reasons outlined in this essay.

Firstly, the fundamental distinction lies in the approach each medium takes. Regarding films, viewers are presented with a pre-established sequence of scenes by the production, which is authentic and sophisticated. This makes it relatively straightforward for viewers to understand the storyline without the need for extensive imagination. Conversely, books lack the vividness and colorfulness seen in films due to the limitations of paper. This inherent aspect necessitates reader engagement in imaginative and reflective processes, enabling them to fully immerse themselves in the world created by the author’s descriptions. For example, readers can vividly imagine the nomad’s desert adventure while reading *The Alchemist* by Paulo Coelho. Thus, books facilitate the unleashing of imagination far more effectively than films.

Another justification for my agreement lies in the distinct modes of expression employed by these practices. The messages in books are conveyed solely through written communication, requiring continuous contemplation to deeply understand the issues presented. For instance, students must analyze the author’s intent in each paragraph solely through linguistic analysis. This process not only enhances language skills but also encourages critical thinking and deeper comprehension of literary works. Additionally, exposure to diverse writing styles helps readers learn how to organize ideas logically and choose appropriate vocabulary, skills that movies do not typically foster. Consequently, reading books rather than watching television can provide individuals with comprehensive reading and linguistic proficiency.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that people can develop richer imagination and stronger language skills through reading books compared to watching television. The immersive nature of books encourages readers to engage deeply with language and content, fostering both creativity and linguistic dexterity. Therefore, promoting the habit of reading books within communities is essential for enhancing language acquisition and imaginative abilities among individuals.