Many people find it difficult to live a healthy life. What are the difficulties they face? What can these people do to become healthier?

It is true that living a healthy life is becoming increasingly difficult. This state of affairs can be attributed to several factors, and there are some steps that people need to take to be healthier.

There are two main difficulties facing people who want to lead a healthy lifestyle. The first one is that many individuals do not maintain a balanced diet. Due to the fast-paced life, they become increasingly occupied; hence, they have a tendency to consume a large amount of fast or canned food, which takes a little time to prepare. Furthermore, a sedentary lifestyle also prevents us from living healthily. For instance, numerous young people, especially children, habitually overindulge in technological devices, namely smartphones and television, in lieu of playing outdoor sports or doing exercises. This phenomenon may put them at a high risk of suffering from nearsightedness and obesity.
We can improve our well-being in a number of ways. Firstly, we should limit our consumption of pre-packed food and increase the daily intake of vitamins from fruits and vegetables. Such an approach probably has a positive effect on our well-being, such as revitalizing our skin and boosting our memory. Secondly, it would be better for us to establish a fixed daily schedule for exercise. To specify, we can go for a walk or do yoga for 30 minutes every single day. This solution undoubtedly helps us to get fit, avoid obesity-related health issues and relieve stress.

In conclusion, the fact that many people find it increasingly difficult to lead a healthy lifestyle can be ascribed to their hectic lives and the abuse of technological devices. The solutions would lie in individuals trying to eat healthily, taking up exercise, and managing their time more effectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"living a healthy life is becoming increasingly difficult" -> "maintaining a healthy lifestyle is becoming increasingly challenging"
Explanation: "Maintaining a healthy lifestyle" is a more precise term than "living a healthy life," which is somewhat vague and informal. "Challenging" is also more academically appropriate than "difficult," which can sound overly simplistic.
"people need to take" -> "individuals must adopt"
Explanation: "Individuals must adopt" is more formal and precise than "people need to take," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"The first one is that" -> "The primary challenge is that"
Explanation: "The primary challenge is that" is more specific and formal than "The first one is that," which is informal and lacks clarity.
"they have a tendency to consume" -> "they tend to consume"
Explanation: "They tend to consume" is a more natural and concise expression than "they have a tendency to consume," which is redundant.
"a large amount of fast or canned food" -> "a significant amount of fast or processed food"
Explanation: "Processed" is a more specific term than "canned," which is too narrow and informal. "Significant" is also more precise than "large."
"a sedentary lifestyle also prevents us from living healthily" -> "a sedentary lifestyle also hinders our overall health"
Explanation: "Hinders our overall health" is more precise and formal than "prevents us from living healthily," which is somewhat redundant and informal.
"habitually overindulge in" -> "frequently indulge excessively in"
Explanation: "Frequently indulge excessively in" is more precise and formal than "habitually overindulge in," which is redundant and informal.
"in lieu of" -> "instead of"
Explanation: "Instead of" is a more common and clear alternative to "in lieu of," which is less commonly used in formal academic writing.
"put them at a high risk of suffering from" -> "expose them to a high risk of developing"
Explanation: "Expose them to a high risk of developing" is more precise and formal than "put them at a high risk of suffering from," which is verbose and informal.
"Such an approach probably has a positive effect" -> "This approach likely yields numerous benefits"
Explanation: "This approach likely yields numerous benefits" is more assertive and academically appropriate than "Such an approach probably has a positive effect," which is less direct and less formal.
"it would be better for us to establish" -> "it is advisable for individuals to establish"
Explanation: "It is advisable for individuals to establish" is more formal and avoids the conversational tone of "it would be better for us."
"To specify, we can go for a walk or do yoga for 30 minutes every single day" -> "Specifically, daily walks or yoga sessions of 30 minutes are recommended"
Explanation: "Specifically, daily walks or yoga sessions of 30 minutes are recommended" is more formal and concise than the original, which is informal and verbose.
"This solution undoubtedly helps us to get fit" -> "This approach undoubtedly enhances physical fitness"
Explanation: "This approach undoubtedly enhances physical fitness" is more formal and precise than "This solution undoubtedly helps us to get fit," which is informal and vague.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the prompt. It discusses the difficulties people face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle (unhealthy diet, sedentary lifestyle due to technology) and suggests practical steps to become healthier (improving diet, incorporating daily exercise, managing time effectively).
- How to improve: While the essay covers the main points adequately, a deeper exploration of the psychological or social barriers to healthy living could enrich the analysis. For instance, discussing cultural influences on diet or societal norms impacting physical activity could provide a more holistic view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by acknowledging the challenges to a healthy lifestyle and proposing specific actions to mitigate them. It consistently advocates for dietary improvements, increased physical activity, and better time management.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the thesis statement. Explicitly linking each example or idea back to the central argument can strengthen coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly with examples such as the impact of fast food and technology on health. Each idea is extended through explanations of how these factors contribute to poor health and supported by suggestions for improvement (e.g., dietary changes, exercise routines).
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, consider providing statistics or studies that illustrate the health impacts mentioned. Additionally, offering counterarguments and refutations can demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of the difficulties in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and strategies for improvement. There are no significant digressions from this central theme.
- How to improve: Maintain focus by ensuring that every paragraph contributes directly to addressing the prompt. Avoid tangential discussions that do not relate to the main ideas of health challenges and solutions.

Overall, the essay effectively meets the criteria for an IELTS Band 8 score for Task Response. It addresses the prompt comprehensively, maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, presents and supports ideas logically, and stays relevant to the topic. To enhance the score further, deeper analysis, more varied examples, and stronger connections between ideas could be beneficial.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably clear organizational structure. It begins with an introduction that outlines the difficulties of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and introduces the main factors contributing to these difficulties. Each body paragraph addresses a specific difficulty and its corresponding solution, which aids in clarity and organization. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider ensuring each body paragraph maintains a consistent focus on a single main idea. This could involve clearly signaling transitions between ideas to strengthen the overall coherence. For instance, using transition phrases such as "another key difficulty" or "furthermore" can help guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to structure its content. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure helps in maintaining coherence within paragraphs.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea cohesively. Consider varying sentence structures within paragraphs to maintain reader interest and avoid monotony. For instance, incorporating complex sentences alongside simple ones can add variety and clarity to the essay’s structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as transition words ("firstly," "secondly," "in conclusion") and linking phrases ("such as," "for instance") effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay by guiding the reader through the argumentative structure.
- How to improve: To further diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating more advanced transitions and connectors, such as "furthermore," "conversely," or "as a result." These can help to more precisely articulate relationships between ideas and enhance the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains coherence and cohesion throughout, further refinement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and diversification of cohesive devices could elevate the clarity and impact of the argument presented. By implementing these suggestions, the essay could achieve an even stronger coherence and cohesion, potentially aiming for a higher band score in future evaluations.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It includes complex sentences (e.g., "Due to the fast-paced life, they become increasingly occupied; hence, they have a tendency to consume…"), compound-complex sentences (e.g., "Furthermore, a sedentary lifestyle also prevents us from living healthily."), and effective use of conditional structures (e.g., "Such an approach probably has a positive effect on our well-being…"). These structures enhance readability and coherence by providing different ways to express ideas.
- How to improve: To further enrich the range of structures, consider integrating more nuanced transitions and subordinate clauses to add depth to arguments. For instance, utilizing inversion or advanced conditional structures could enhance the precision and complexity of your points.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy with few errors. Example of accurate usage includes correct subject-verb agreement ("individuals do not maintain"), appropriate tense consistency ("we should limit"), and effective punctuation to separate clauses and ideas.
- How to improve: To refine grammatical accuracy, pay attention to article usage (e.g., "a large amount of fast or canned food" could benefit from "an" before "increasingly occupied"), ensuring parallelism in structures (e.g., "to get fit, avoid obesity-related health issues"), and maintaining consistent use of pronouns throughout. Reviewing sentence structures for clarity and conciseness could also enhance overall fluency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of varied sentence structures and maintains strong grammatical accuracy, further diversifying sentence patterns and refining grammatical nuances could elevate the essay’s sophistication and clarity. These enhancements will contribute to a more polished and persuasive presentation of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is indeed true that maintaining a healthy lifestyle is becoming increasingly challenging. This can be attributed to several factors, and there are specific steps that individuals must adopt to improve their health.

The primary challenge is that many individuals tend to consume a significant amount of fast or processed food due to their busy lifestyles. This dietary habit not only lacks nutritional value but also contributes to health problems such as obesity and vitamin deficiencies. Additionally, a sedentary lifestyle also hinders our overall health. For instance, instead of engaging in physical activities, many people frequently indulge excessively in technological devices like smartphones and television, which expose them to a high risk of developing issues such as nearsightedness and obesity.

To address these issues, individuals should make conscious efforts to change their habits. It is advisable for individuals to establish a balanced diet by limiting their consumption of pre-packaged foods and increasing their intake of vitamins from fresh fruits and vegetables. This approach likely yields numerous benefits, including improved skin health and enhanced cognitive function.

Furthermore, incorporating regular exercise into daily routines is crucial. Specifically, daily walks or yoga sessions of 30 minutes are recommended. This approach undoubtedly enhances physical fitness, helps in avoiding obesity-related health problems, and reduces stress levels.

In conclusion, the increasing difficulty in maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be attributed to busy schedules and excessive use of technology. By making simple adjustments such as improving diet and incorporating regular exercise, individuals can significantly improve their overall well-being.