The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond. Summarice the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond.
Summarice the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture gives information about the line of a fog, between eggs and maturity.
It can be clearly seen that, there are total 11 stages in the process. The process starts with the aldult fog lay their egg. After that, they grow up to maturity.
The aldult fog begin their lives by laying eggs. Following that, the develop into tadpoles and snug to water- plant before having gills for breathing under the water. After that, they start growing their tail. Along with th development of the tail, tadpoles’s hindlegs appear. They live by food stored in tail to survive.
Following this step, after having hindlegs tadpoles continue tp grow front legs. Moreover, Their tail become shorter than before. Subsequently all stages, young frog appear. After a period of time, young fog will raise an develop into adult fog.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The picture gives information about the line of a fog, between eggs and maturity." -> "The diagram illustrates the developmental stages from eggs to maturity in frogs."
Explanation: "The picture" is vague and informal; "diagram" is more precise and formal. The phrase "line of a fog" is unclear and incorrect; "developmental stages" accurately describes the process depicted in the diagram.
"It can be clearly seen that, there are total 11 stages" -> "It is evident that there are 11 stages"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and informal. "It is evident that" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a conclusion.
"The process starts with the aldult fog lay their egg." -> "The process begins with adult frogs laying their eggs."
Explanation: "aldult" is a typographical error; "adult frogs" is the correct term. "laying their eggs" is grammatically correct and more formal than "lay their egg."
"After that, they grow up to maturity." -> "Subsequently, they develop to maturity."
Explanation: "After that" is informal and vague; "Subsequently" is more precise and formal. "Develop" is preferred over "grow up" to maintain a scientific tone.
"The aldult fog begin their lives by laying eggs." -> "Adult frogs begin their lives by laying eggs."
Explanation: Again, "aldult" is a typographical error; "adult frogs" is the correct term.
"Following that, the develop into tadpoles and snug to water- plant before having gills for breathing under the water." -> "Subsequently, they develop into tadpoles, which then settle on water plants before acquiring gills for underwater respiration."
Explanation: "Following that" is informal; "Subsequently" is more formal. "snug to water- plant" is unclear and incorrect; "settle on water plants" is precise and contextually accurate. "breathing under the water" is informal; "underwater respiration" is more scientifically appropriate.
"After that, they start growing their tail." -> "Next, they begin growing their tails."
Explanation: "After that" is informal; "Next" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. "tails" should be plural as it refers to multiple tails.
"Along with th development of the tail, tadpoles’s hindlegs appear." -> "As the tail develops, tadpoles’ hindlegs emerge."
Explanation: "Along with th development" is grammatically incorrect; "As the tail develops" is correct. "tadpoles’s" is grammatically incorrect; "tadpoles’" is the correct possessive form.
"They live by food stored in tail to survive." -> "They survive on stored food in their tail."
Explanation: "live by food stored in tail" is awkward and unclear; "survive on stored food in their tail" is clearer and more formal.
"Following this step, after having hindlegs tadpoles continue tp grow front legs." -> "Following this stage, after developing hindlegs, tadpoles continue to grow their front legs."
Explanation: "Following this step" is informal; "Following this stage" is more precise. "continue tp grow" is a typographical error; "continue to grow." "front legs" should be "front legs" for grammatical correctness.
"Moreover, Their tail become shorter than before." -> "Moreover, their tails become shorter than before."
Explanation: "Their tail" should be "their tails" for plural agreement. "become" should be "become" for grammatical correctness.
"Subsequently all stages, young frog appear." -> "Subsequently, all stages, young frogs appear."
Explanation: "Subsequently all stages" is grammatically incorrect; "Subsequently, all stages" is correct. "young frog" should be "young frogs" for plural agreement.
"After a period of time, young fog will raise an develop into adult fog." -> "After a period of time, young frogs will develop into adult frogs."
Explanation: "young fog" is incorrect; "young frogs" is the correct term. "will raise an develop" is grammatically incorrect; "will develop" is correct. "adult fog" is incorrect; "adult frogs" is the correct term.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main features of the diagram. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the aldult fog begin their lives by laying eggs" which is not a key feature of the diagram. The essay also states that "they grow up to maturity" which is not a key feature of the diagram. The essay also states that "they start growing their tail" which is not a key feature of the diagram. The essay also states that "Their tail become shorter than before" which is not a key feature of the diagram. The essay also states that "young fog will raise an develop into adult fog" which is not a key feature of the diagram.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main features of the diagram. The essay could also be improved by focusing on the key features of the diagram and avoiding irrelevant details. The essay could also be improved by using more accurate language. For example, the essay could use the word "frog" instead of "fog". The essay could also use the word "develop" instead of "grow up". The essay could also use the word "shorten" instead of "become shorter". The essay could also use the word "mature" instead of "raise an develop".

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents some information about the life cycle of frogs, but it lacks coherent organization and clear progression. The ideas are not arranged logically, and there are significant issues with paragraphing. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, leading to confusion in the flow of information. The essay does not effectively present a clear central topic within each paragraph, which detracts from the overall coherence.
How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on organizing the information into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. Using a wider range of cohesive devices accurately will help to connect ideas more logically. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and ensuring that terminology is used correctly (e.g., "frog" instead of "fog") will enhance clarity. Finally, providing a more structured overview of the life cycle stages with appropriate transitions will improve the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic use of vocabulary related to the life cycle of frogs. However, it relies heavily on simple and repetitive vocabulary, such as "fog" instead of "frog," and contains several spelling errors that affect clarity. The range of vocabulary is limited, with minimal attempts to use less common lexical items. The errors in word formation and spelling are frequent enough to cause strain for the reader, which is characteristic of a Band 4 score.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary related to biological processes and life cycles. Using synonyms and more precise terms can help convey information more effectively. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct spelling errors and improve word formation would enhance clarity. Incorporating a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary will also contribute to a more sophisticated presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, the majority of sentences contain grammatical errors that significantly impede understanding. For instance, phrases like "the line of a fog" and "the aldult fog lay their egg" exhibit incorrect word choice and spelling errors. Additionally, issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure are prevalent throughout the essay. While some ideas are communicated, the frequent errors in grammar and punctuation hinder effective communication, aligning the essay more closely with Band 4 descriptors.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following:

Correct Spelling and Word Choice: Ensure that words are spelled correctly (e.g., "adult" instead of "aldult," "frog" instead of "fog") and used appropriately in context.
Sentence Structure Variety: Incorporate a mix of simple and complex sentences. Practice using subordinate clauses and conjunctions to create more sophisticated sentence structures.
Proofreading: Review the essay for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and errors that may not be immediately obvious.
Grammar Practice: Engage in targeted grammar exercises to improve understanding and application of grammatical rules, particularly in areas where errors are frequent.

Bài sửa mẫu

The picture gives information about the life cycle of a frog, from eggs to maturity. It can be clearly seen that there are a total of 11 stages in the process. The process starts with the adult frog laying their eggs. After that, they grow up to maturity.

The adult frog begins their life by laying eggs. Following that, they develop into tadpoles and cling to water plants before developing gills for breathing underwater. After this, they start growing their tails. Along with the development of the tail, the tadpole’s hind legs appear. They survive by using the food stored in their tails.

Following this step, after developing hind legs, tadpoles continue to grow front legs. Moreover, their tails become shorter than before. Subsequently, at all stages, a young frog appears. After a period of time, the young frog will grow and develop into an adult frog.