Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that there is no point in reading newspapers and watching TV news because of their irrelevance to our lives. I, however, will challenge this school of thought.

Admittedly, the information of certain newspapers and TV programs is not entirely authenticated and as a result, there may be the potential risks of people being apprised of untrustworthy, distorted sources of data. It obviously has no direct bearing on our lives, and even causes individuals to form unreasonable judgements about an affair. However, this line of reasoning is not sound, as notable developments in security checking systems have precluded such an incident from happening. Instead, the large majority of newspapers and TV news in contemporary times is informative, acquainting people with invaluable insights into their local as well as international concerns and better preparing them for tackling similar future eventualities. For instance, by reading thoroughly about the devastating conflict between Russia and Ukraine, governmental bodies all around the world could understand the extent of damage this war has inflicted on these two nations, and can also be cognisant of the necessity to maintain global peace.

To add further credence to my assertion, I note the benefits this tendency offers to young people in terms of intellectual development and the formation of active learning. The primary reason is that by allowing the young to read newspapers or watch TV news right from their formative years, this will foster important skills in them, including critical thinking, creativity and problem-solving ones, to name but a few. If such commendable qualities are exploited at an early age, chances are they are likely to achieve phenomenal academic and professional success in the future. Added to this is the fact that by doing such activities on a daily basis, young individuals could cultivate active knowledge acquisition skills. This is beneficial as they always have an unquenchable thirst for exploring new things, which will definitely ensure a solid foundational repertoire of know-how to cater for numerous purposes in later life.

In conclusion, notwithstanding the various concerns stemming from the unreliability in quality of some TV news and newspapers, advancements in security assurance techniques have alleviated these problems. It is my strong conviction that such activities are directly linked to our lives, as not only do they provide us with the fundamental knowledge and foresights about future events, but also facilitate cognitive growth in children and encourage them to adopt active learning habits.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is an opinion" -> "It is a prevailing opinion"
Explanation: "It is a prevailing opinion" is more formal and precise, indicating a widely held viewpoint in academic writing.
"no point in" -> "no utility in"
Explanation: "No utility in" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase compared to the colloquial "no point in."
"the information of certain newspapers and TV programs" -> "the information provided by certain newspapers and TV programs"
Explanation: Adding "provided by" clarifies the source of the information, enhancing clarity and precision.
"as a result, there may be the potential risks" -> "therefore, there is a potential risk"
Explanation: "Therefore" is more direct and formal than "as a result," and "there is a potential risk" simplifies the structure while maintaining formality.
"appised of untrustworthy, distorted sources of data" -> "informed of unreliable and distorted sources of data"
Explanation: "Informed of" is more natural and precise than "appised of," which is not commonly used in this context.
"It obviously has no direct bearing on our lives" -> "It is clear that this information has no direct impact on our lives"
Explanation: "It is clear that this information has no direct impact" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "It obviously."
"form unreasonable judgements about an affair" -> "form unreasonable judgments about a situation"
Explanation: "A situation" is more specific and appropriate than "an affair," which can imply a romantic or personal context.
"notable developments in security checking systems" -> "significant advancements in security verification systems"
Explanation: "Significant advancements" and "security verification systems" are more precise and formal terms.
"the large majority" -> "the majority"
Explanation: "The majority" is sufficient and more concise without losing the intended meaning.
"acquainting people with invaluable insights" -> "providing people with valuable insights"
Explanation: "Providing" is more direct and formal than "acquainting," and "valuable" is more appropriate than "invaluable," which can imply absolute necessity.
"better preparing them for tackling similar future eventualities" -> "better preparing them to address similar future challenges"
Explanation: "To address" and "challenges" are more specific and formal than "tackling eventualities."
"governmental bodies all around the world" -> "governments worldwide"
Explanation: "Governments worldwide" is a more concise and formal expression.
"cognisant of the necessity" -> "aware of the need"
Explanation: "Aware of the need" is a more common and natural phrase in academic writing than "cognisant of the necessity."
"young to read newspapers or watch TV news" -> "young to read newspapers or watch television news"
Explanation: "Television news" is the correct term, and using "television" instead of "TV" enhances formality.
"commendable qualities" -> "desirable qualities"
Explanation: "Desirable" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe positive traits.
"phenomenal academic and professional success" -> "exceptional academic and professional success"
Explanation: "Exceptional" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "phenomenal," which can be seen as overly dramatic.
"unquenchable thirst for exploring new things" -> "insatiable desire to explore new things"
Explanation: "Insatiable desire" is a more formal and precise phrase than "unquenchable thirst," which is metaphorical and less formal.
"solid foundational repertoire of know-how" -> "robust foundational repertoire of knowledge"
Explanation: "Robust" is more formal and precise than "solid," and "knowledge" is more appropriate than "know-how" in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument against the notion that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time. The introduction acknowledges the opposing viewpoint, while the body paragraphs provide substantial evidence supporting the importance of these activities. The essay discusses both the relevance of news to current events (e.g., the Russia-Ukraine conflict) and the benefits for young people’s intellectual development, thus covering the prompt comprehensively.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could explicitly state the extent of agreement or disagreement with the prompt in the introduction. For example, clarifying whether the author fully disagrees or partially agrees would provide a stronger framework for the argument. Additionally, incorporating counterarguments more explicitly could strengthen the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that news consumption is beneficial. The use of phrases like "I, however, will challenge this school of thought" establishes a strong stance. The conclusion reiterates this position effectively, summarizing the main points made in support of the argument.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, it could be further reinforced by explicitly linking back to the prompt in each paragraph. For instance, reminding the reader of the initial claim about news being a waste of time and countering it directly in each body paragraph would enhance coherence and clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas, such as the risks of misinformation and the benefits of news consumption for intellectual development. Each idea is supported with examples, such as the reference to the Russia-Ukraine conflict and the skills developed in young people. This demonstrates a good level of depth and understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To further extend the ideas, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics that illustrate the positive impacts of news consumption. For instance, citing studies that show improved critical thinking skills in students who engage with current events could provide stronger evidence for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the relevance of news to people’s lives and the implications for young people’s development. There are no significant deviations from the main argument, which helps maintain clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the writer could periodically refer back to the prompt within the body paragraphs. This could involve summarizing how each point relates back to the question of whether news is a waste of time, reinforcing the connection between the arguments and the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively argues against the notion that news consumption is a waste of time. With some adjustments to clarify the position and strengthen the supporting evidence, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time. The introduction effectively sets up the debate, and the body paragraphs logically follow, each addressing different aspects of the argument. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the potential unreliability of news sources, while the second focuses on the benefits for young people. This logical progression aids in understanding the writer’s stance. However, there are moments where the transition between ideas could be smoother, particularly when shifting from discussing the risks of misinformation to the benefits of news consumption.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transition phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the risks, a phrase like "Despite these concerns, it is important to recognize…" could help bridge the gap to the next point about the benefits of news consumption.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph has a clear focus: the first addresses the argument against news consumption, while the second supports the counter-argument with benefits for youth. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. However, the first body paragraph could be further divided to enhance clarity, as it contains multiple ideas that could be more effectively communicated in separate sections.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the first body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the unreliability of news sources and the other on the implications of this unreliability. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve the overall clarity of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "notwithstanding," and "to add further credence." These devices help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. The use of phrases like "for instance" effectively introduces examples that support the main points. However, there are instances where the cohesive devices could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "however," alternatives like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "nevertheless" could be employed. Additionally, using more complex structures, such as "while it is true that…," can add depth to the argument and improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting a well-structured argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing terms such as "irrelevance," "authenticated," "untrustworthy," "cognizant," and "commendable." These choices reflect a strong ability to articulate complex ideas effectively. Additionally, phrases like "unquenchable thirst for exploring new things" showcase a flair for expressive language. However, the essay could benefit from more varied synonyms to avoid repetition, particularly with words like "young" and "knowledge."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or paraphrasing common terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "young," alternatives like "youth," "adolescents," or "juveniles" could be employed. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or collocations could further enrich the vocabulary range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "intellectual development" and "active learning" effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "not entirely authenticated" could be more clearly expressed as "not always reliable," which would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to ensure clarity and precision. For instance, instead of "the potential risks of people being apprised of untrustworthy," consider "the risk of being misinformed by unreliable sources." This change would convey the message more directly and effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "phenomenal," "assurance," and "repertoire" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is already strong, continued practice through reading and writing can help maintain this level of accuracy. Engaging with diverse texts can expose the writer to new vocabulary and spelling patterns, reinforcing their spelling skills.

Overall, the essay showcases a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing vocabulary variety, refining precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional clauses, and varied sentence beginnings. For instance, phrases like "Admittedly, the information of certain newspapers and TV programs is not entirely authenticated" and "To add further credence to my assertion" showcase the writer’s ability to use introductory phrases effectively. Additionally, the use of relative clauses, such as "that by allowing the young to read newspapers or watch TV news right from their formative years," adds depth to the writing. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "this" and "that" to start sentences, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of starting consecutive sentences with "this," the writer could use alternatives like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "In addition to this," to create smoother transitions. Experimenting with different sentence lengths and structures, such as using more compound-complex sentences, could also enrich the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "the potential risks of people being apprised of untrustworthy, distorted sources of data" is somewhat awkwardly constructed. The use of commas is mostly effective, but there are instances where additional commas could improve clarity, such as in the phrase "to name but a few" which could be better placed to avoid confusion. Additionally, the phrase "the necessity to maintain global peace" could be rephrased for greater clarity and impact.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread for awkward constructions and consider rephrasing sentences that may confuse the reader. Practicing the use of commas, particularly in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. Furthermore, the writer should pay attention to word choice and phrasing to ensure that ideas are expressed as clearly and effectively as possible. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and correct preposition use, could also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument with a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. With some adjustments to sentence variety and grammatical precision, the writing could achieve an even higher level of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevailing opinion that there is no point in reading newspapers and watching TV news because of their irrelevance to our lives. I, however, will challenge this school of thought.

Admittedly, the information provided by certain newspapers and TV programs is not entirely authenticated, and as a result, there is a potential risk of people being informed of unreliable and distorted sources of data. It is clear that this information has no direct impact on our lives, and it can even cause individuals to form unreasonable judgments about a situation. However, this line of reasoning is not sound, as significant advancements in security verification systems have precluded such incidents from happening. Instead, the majority of newspapers and TV news in contemporary times is informative, providing people with valuable insights into their local as well as international concerns and better preparing them to address similar future challenges. For instance, by reading thoroughly about the devastating conflict between Russia and Ukraine, governments worldwide could understand the extent of damage this war has inflicted on these two nations and can also be aware of the need to maintain global peace.

To add further credence to my assertion, I note the benefits this tendency offers to young people in terms of intellectual development and the formation of active learning. The primary reason is that by allowing the young to read newspapers or watch TV news from their formative years, this will foster important skills in them, including critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving, to name but a few. If such desirable qualities are nurtured at an early age, chances are they are likely to achieve exceptional academic and professional success in the future. Added to this is the fact that by engaging in such activities on a daily basis, young individuals could cultivate active knowledge acquisition skills. This is beneficial as they have an insatiable desire to explore new things, which will definitely ensure a robust foundational repertoire of knowledge to cater for numerous purposes in later life.

In conclusion, notwithstanding the various concerns stemming from the unreliability in the quality of some TV news and newspapers, advancements in security assurance techniques have alleviated these problems. It is my strong conviction that such activities are directly linked to our lives, as they not only provide us with fundamental knowledge and foresight about future events but also facilitate cognitive growth in children and encourage them to adopt active learning habits.