Some people say that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has had a negative effect on young people’s
reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, the growing emphasis on the use of computers and mobile phones for communication has become a subject of widespread debate and discussion on whether it negatively impacts young people's reading and writing skills. While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that these technological tools can also offer significant benefits to these skills.

On the one hand, it is true that the increasing use of digital devices can have detrimental effects on young people's reading and writing abilities. One commonly cited concern is the pervasive use of informal language and abbreviations in text messaging and social media, which could lead to a decline in formal writing skills. The frequent usage of "u" for "you" or "b4" for "before" might become ingrained, potentially impacting grammatical and spelling accuracy in formal writing contexts. Furthermore, the instant gratification offered by digital communication might discourage young people from engaging in in-depth reading, which is crucial for developing critical thinking and comprehension abilities. Long-form texts provide a more nuanced and complex experience that can be neglected in favor of quick and easily digestible online content.
On the other hand, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that the advantages of digital communication for enhancing reading and writing skills cannot be ignored. One reason is that the vast repository of online resources available through computers and mobile phones presents a wealth of opportunities for young people to engage in diverse and frequent reading. They have access to e-books, online articles, and educational websites, fostering a greater love for reading and expanding their knowledge base. Moreover, the interactive nature of digital communication provides a platform for young people to hone their writing skills. Online forums, blogs, and social media platforms offer opportunities for practice, feedback, and refinement, enabling them to develop their writing fluency and clarity.

In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication can negatively affect young people's reading and writing skills, I would contend that these technologies also offer valuable tools that can enhance these skills.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In contemporary society" -> "In the contemporary society"
   Explanation: Adding "the" before "contemporary society" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formal tone of the sentence.

2. "has become a subject of widespread debate and discussion" -> "has become a topic of widespread debate and discussion"
   Explanation: Replacing "subject" with "topic" is more precise in academic contexts, as "topic" specifically refers to a subject of discussion or investigation.

3. "somewhat justifiable" -> "partially justified"
   Explanation: "Partially justified" is a more formal and precise term that aligns better with academic language, avoiding the colloquial tone of "somewhat."

4. "can also offer significant benefits" -> "can also provide substantial benefits"
   Explanation: "Provide" is more formal and precise than "offer" in this context, emphasizing the act of giving or supplying benefits in a more academic tone.

5. "One commonly cited concern" -> "One frequently cited concern"
   Explanation: "Frequently cited" is more precise and formal than "commonly cited," which is somewhat vague and less specific.

6. "could lead to a decline" -> "may lead to a decline"
   Explanation: "May" is more academically appropriate than "could" as it implies a possibility rather than a mere possibility, which is more suitable for formal writing.

7. "The frequent usage of" -> "The frequent use of"
   Explanation: "Use" is the correct noun form in this context, replacing the less formal "usage."

8. "might become ingrained" -> "may become ingrained"
   Explanation: "May" is more formal than "might," aligning better with the academic style.

9. "instant gratification" -> "immediate gratification"
   Explanation: "Immediate" is a more precise and formal term than "instant," which can be seen as colloquial in some contexts.

10. "quick and easily digestible" -> "rapid and easily digestible"
    Explanation: "Rapid" is a more formal synonym for "quick," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

11. "cannot be ignored" -> "should not be overlooked"
    Explanation: "Should not be overlooked" is a more formal expression that emphasizes the importance of considering the advantages, fitting better in an academic context.

12. "a host of compelling reasons" -> "a multitude of compelling reasons"
    Explanation: "A multitude" is a more formal and precise term than "a host," which can be seen as slightly informal.

13. "cannot be ignored" -> "should not be overlooked"
    Explanation: Again, "should not be overlooked" is a more formal expression that is preferred in academic writing.

14. "fostering a greater love for reading" -> "promoting a greater appreciation for reading"
    Explanation: "Promoting" is more formal and precise than "fostering," and "appreciation" is a more academic term than "love," which can be seen as overly emotional for formal writing.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by acknowledging both sides of the argument regarding the impact of technology on reading and writing skills. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position, indicating a balanced view. The first body paragraph discusses the negative effects, such as the use of informal language and the potential decline in in-depth reading. The second body paragraph presents the positive aspects, emphasizing the access to diverse reading materials and opportunities for writing practice. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made. For instance, mentioning studies that show a correlation between digital communication and writing proficiency could strengthen the argument. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments or acknowledging the limitations of the positive effects could provide a more nuanced perspective.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, indicating that while there are negative effects of technology on reading and writing skills, there are also significant benefits. The use of phrases like "I believe" and "I would contend" reinforces the author’s stance. The structure of the essay, with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint, aids in clarity.
  • How to improve: To further solidify the position, the writer could reiterate their main argument in the conclusion more emphatically. A stronger concluding statement that encapsulates the overall argument could leave a more lasting impression on the reader.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas regarding the impact of technology on reading and writing skills. Each point is extended with explanations and examples, such as the mention of informal language in text messaging and the benefits of online resources. The discussion of interactive platforms for writing practice is particularly strong, as it highlights practical applications of technology.
  • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer could incorporate more detailed examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. For instance, discussing a specific online platform that has successfully improved writing skills could provide a concrete illustration of the benefits mentioned.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, consistently addressing the effects of technology on young people’s reading and writing skills. There are no significant deviations from the main argument, and each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion.
  • How to improve: While the essay is generally well-focused, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. Occasionally, phrases that introduce new ideas could be better linked to the main argument. For example, when discussing the decline in formal writing skills, the writer could explicitly connect this back to the overall argument about the negative impact of technology.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively balances the discussion of both negative and positive impacts of technology on reading and writing skills. By incorporating more specific examples, reinforcing the position in the conclusion, and ensuring all points are tightly linked to the main argument, the writer could further enhance the quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph effectively addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the negative impacts of digital communication, while the second paragraph highlights its benefits. The progression from one idea to the next is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing the negative effects of informal language to the positive aspects of online resources is well-executed, demonstrating a clear contrast.
  • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit transitional phrases between points within paragraphs. For instance, phrases like "Conversely" or "In addition" could be employed to signal shifts in perspective or to add supporting points, reinforcing the logical flow of ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs each tackle a side of the argument, culminating in a concise conclusion. This clear paragraphing aids in maintaining coherence throughout the essay. However, the conclusion could be more robust by briefly summarizing the key points made in the body paragraphs to reinforce the overall argument.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, the writer could ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, incorporating a brief summary of the main arguments in the conclusion would provide a stronger closure and reinforce the essay’s overall message.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. The use of phrases like "One reason is that" and "Moreover" helps to connect ideas within paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied linking words and phrases to avoid repetition and enhance the fluidity of the text.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate additional linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," and "As a result" to create a more dynamic flow of ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain reader engagement and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in the areas of transitional phrases, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. Implementing these suggestions would help elevate the essay’s clarity and effectiveness further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "pervasive," "detrimental," "repository," and "nuanced." These words not only convey precise meanings but also reflect a sophisticated understanding of the topic. For instance, the phrase "instant gratification offered by digital communication" effectively captures a complex idea succinctly. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "young people" could be substituted with synonyms like "youth" or "adolescents" to enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To further improve, the writer should actively seek synonyms and alternative phrases to avoid repetition. Incorporating a broader range of vocabulary related to technology and education could also enrich the essay. For example, using terms like "digital literacy" or "technological engagement" could add depth to the discussion.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a high degree of precision. Phrases like "formal writing skills" and "critical thinking and comprehension abilities" are well-chosen and accurately reflect the intended meanings. However, the phrase "might become ingrained" could be interpreted as slightly vague; it would be more precise to specify that these informal usages "may become habitual," which conveys a clearer sense of the potential impact on writing skills.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that clearly articulates the intended message. This could involve replacing vague terms with more specific alternatives. For example, instead of "could lead to a decline," using "may result in a deterioration" would provide a stronger, more precise assertion.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "emphasis," "detrimental," and "repository" are spelled correctly, demonstrating a solid command of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the spelling is strong, the writer should continue to practice spelling through regular reading and writing exercises. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers and engaging in vocabulary quizzes can also help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, the essay showcases a strong command of vocabulary with minor areas for enhancement in variety and precision. The spelling is exemplary, contributing to the overall effectiveness of the writing. By incorporating these suggestions, the writer can elevate their lexical resource even further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the phrase, "While I accept that this perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that these technological tools can also offer significant benefits to these skills." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures, as seen in "One commonly cited concern is the pervasive use of informal language and abbreviations in text messaging and social media, which could lead to a decline in formal writing skills." However, there are instances of simpler sentence structures that could be enhanced for greater complexity and variety.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases, such as participial phrases or adverbial clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "One reason is that…" the writer could begin with "Given the vast repository of online resources, young people are presented with…" This would not only improve the variety but also enhance the flow of ideas.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "the increasing use of digital devices can have detrimental effects" is grammatically sound and effectively conveys the message. Punctuation is also used correctly, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses, such as in "which could lead to a decline in formal writing skills." However, there are a few areas where punctuation could be improved, such as in the sentence, "the instant gratification offered by digital communication might discourage young people from engaging in in-depth reading, which is crucial for developing critical thinking and comprehension abilities," where a semicolon could enhance clarity between two independent clauses.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for minor errors and ensuring that punctuation marks are used correctly to clarify meaning. Additionally, practicing the use of semicolons and colons could help in creating more complex sentence structures. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses, would also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With targeted improvements in sentence variety and punctuation, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, the growing emphasis on the use of computers and mobile phones for communication has become a topic of widespread debate and discussion regarding whether it negatively impacts young people’s reading and writing skills. While I accept that this perception is partially justified, I believe that these technological tools can also provide substantial benefits to these skills.

On the one hand, it is true that the increasing use of digital devices can have detrimental effects on young people’s reading and writing abilities. One frequently cited concern is the pervasive use of informal language and abbreviations in text messaging and social media, which may lead to a decline in formal writing skills. The frequent use of “u” for “you” or “b4” for “before” might become ingrained, potentially impacting grammatical and spelling accuracy in formal writing contexts. Furthermore, the instant gratification offered by digital communication might discourage young people from engaging in in-depth reading, which is crucial for developing critical thinking and comprehension abilities. Long-form texts provide a more nuanced and complex experience that can be neglected in favor of quick and easily digestible online content.

On the other hand, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that the advantages of digital communication for enhancing reading and writing skills cannot be ignored. One reason is that the vast repository of online resources available through computers and mobile phones presents a wealth of opportunities for young people to engage in diverse and frequent reading. They have access to e-books, online articles, and educational websites, fostering a greater love for reading and expanding their knowledge base. Moreover, the interactive nature of digital communication provides a platform for young people to hone their writing skills. Online forums, blogs, and social media platforms offer opportunities for practice, feedback, and refinement, enabling them to develop their writing fluency and clarity.

In conclusion, while it is irrefutable that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication can negatively affect young people’s reading and writing skills, I would contend that these technologies also offer valuable tools that can enhance these skills.