Environmental problems are serious in many countries. It means that the only possible way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Globally, environmental protection is one of the most critical challenges that humanity must address due to its severe threats. It is widely believed that international cooperation is the most viable approach to tackle this issue. I concur with this perspective due to the essential need for consensus and shared objectives among nations in addressing environmental challenges.
The first point to support international cooperation is the necessity for consensus among countries, particularly neighboring nations, in resolving environmental issues. It is evident that many countries share common natural resources and ecosystems, meaning that environmental impacts can transcend national boundaries. For example, if a country releases pollutants into the Mekong River, the environmental repercussions could affect multiple nations due to the river's transboundary nature. Therefore, addressing this cross-border issue requires the signing of international treaties to establish consensus and cooperation in safeguarding water resources in the Mekong River basin among the six involved countries.
Secondly, international collaboration motivates countries to work towards global environmental targets. To specify, international conferences and treaties not only establish common environmental standards but also set deadlines for states to achieve them. For instance, during the COP28 climate change conference, an agreement was reached to limit global temperature rise to 1.5°C before the end of the decade. To meet this objective, numerous initiatives such as greenhouse gas reduction campaigns, carbon credit markets, reforestation efforts, and the advancement of alternative energy sources have been launched to address environmental challenges in various countries.
In conclusion, international cooperation is indispensable in addressing global environmental issues due to shared ecosystems and the crucial role it plays in achieving set targets. However, each country still holds a vital part in promoting environmental activities that are implemented in practice.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Globally, environmental protection is one of the most critical challenges" -> "Globally, environmental protection is a paramount challenge"
Explanation: Replacing "one of the most critical" with "a paramount" enhances the formality and emphasizes the severity of the issue, aligning better with academic tone.
"due to its severe threats" -> "owing to its severe threats"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal preposition than "due to," which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"I concur with this perspective" -> "I agree with this perspective"
Explanation: "Concur" is less commonly used in informal writing and may sound overly formal or archaic; "agree" is more straightforward and appropriate for academic discourse.
"The first point to support" -> "The first point supporting"
Explanation: Changing "to support" to "supporting" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more direct and formal.
"necessity for consensus among countries" -> "necessity for international consensus"
Explanation: "International consensus" is a more precise and formal term that clearly indicates the global scope of the agreement.
"It is evident that" -> "It is clear that"
Explanation: "It is clear that" is a more academically appropriate phrase, enhancing the formality and precision of the statement.
"transboundary nature" -> "transboundary nature"
Explanation: This is a correct usage of the term "transboundary," which is commonly used in environmental and international contexts.
"To specify" -> "To illustrate"
Explanation: "To illustrate" is more appropriate in academic writing to introduce specific examples, enhancing clarity and formality.
"To meet this objective" -> "to achieve this objective"
Explanation: "To achieve" is more precise and formal than "to meet," which is somewhat vague in this context.
"greenhouse gas reduction campaigns" -> "greenhouse gas reduction initiatives"
Explanation: "Initiatives" is a more formal term than "campaigns," which can imply a more promotional or public awareness focus.
"carbon credit markets" -> "carbon credit systems"
Explanation: "Systems" is a more formal term than "markets," which may imply a commercial aspect that is not necessarily relevant in this context.
"reduction efforts" -> "reduction strategies"
Explanation: "Strategies" is a more formal and precise term than "efforts," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the advancement of alternative energy sources" -> "the development of alternative energy sources"
Explanation: "Development" is a more specific and formal term than "advancement," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"each country still holds a vital part" -> "each country still plays a vital role"
Explanation: "Plays a vital role" is a more precise and formal expression than "holds a vital part," which is less commonly used in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of international cooperation as the primary means to protect the environment. The author discusses the necessity of consensus among countries and the motivation provided by international collaboration to achieve global targets. Both points are relevant to the question, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would provide a more balanced response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should consider briefly presenting a counterargument regarding the potential effectiveness of national or local initiatives in environmental protection. This would not only demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic but also strengthen the overall argument by addressing potential limitations of international cooperation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position taken in the essay is clear and consistent. The author explicitly states their agreement with the necessity of international cooperation and maintains this stance throughout the essay. The use of phrases like "I concur with this perspective" and "international cooperation is indispensable" reinforces the clarity of the position. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in reiterating the main argument, as it introduces the idea that individual countries also play a vital role, which may dilute the initial position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should ensure that the conclusion aligns closely with the main argument presented in the body paragraphs. It would be beneficial to restate the importance of international cooperation while acknowledging the role of individual countries in a way that does not undermine the primary argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas supported by relevant examples. The discussion of the Mekong River as a case study effectively illustrates the need for international treaties, while the reference to COP28 provides a concrete example of global efforts to combat climate change. The ideas are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the essay could benefit from further elaboration on the examples provided, particularly in explaining the implications of these international efforts.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should elaborate on the examples given. For instance, discussing the specific outcomes of the COP28 agreement or the impact of the initiatives mentioned would provide a more comprehensive understanding of how international cooperation translates into tangible environmental benefits.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the necessity of international cooperation in environmental protection. The author does not deviate from the main argument, which is commendable. However, the introduction of the idea that individual countries also play a vital role in the conclusion could be seen as a slight deviation from the primary focus on international cooperation.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the author should ensure that all points made in the conclusion reinforce the main argument. It would be more effective to emphasize the importance of international cooperation while acknowledging the complementary role of individual actions without suggesting they are equally vital. This would help maintain a stronger focus on the primary argument throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by outlining the importance of international cooperation in addressing environmental issues. The body paragraphs are structured around two main points: the necessity for consensus among countries and the motivation provided by international collaboration. Each point is introduced clearly and supported with relevant examples, such as the Mekong River case and the COP28 conference. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between points. For instance, after discussing the necessity for consensus, a transitional sentence could be added to indicate that the next point will build on this idea by discussing how international collaboration can further enhance efforts. This would strengthen the connection between paragraphs and reinforce the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph addressing the need for consensus and the second discussing the motivation provided by international collaboration. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis, providing a clear closure to the discussion.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the conclusion could be expanded slightly to include a brief mention of the implications of individual countries’ roles in environmental protection. This would not only reinforce the main argument but also provide a more rounded perspective that ties back to the introduction, enhancing the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions (e.g., "and," "but"), referencing (e.g., "this perspective," "these initiatives"), and substitution (e.g., "it" in "it is evident"). These devices help maintain the flow of ideas and clarify relationships between sentences and paragraphs. The use of specific examples also contributes to the cohesiveness of the argument, as they illustrate the points being made.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more advanced linking phrases and connectors. For example, phrases like "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the other hand" can enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, varying the structure of sentences can help maintain reader engagement and improve the overall fluidity of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to support the argument. With minor adjustments to transitions and the conclusion, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of environmental issues. Terms such as "international cooperation," "transboundary nature," "pollutants," and "greenhouse gas reduction campaigns" reflect a sophisticated understanding of the subject matter. The use of phrases like "critical challenges" and "shared objectives" further enhances the lexical variety. However, while the vocabulary is generally varied, there are instances where more synonyms or alternative expressions could have been employed to avoid repetition, particularly in discussing similar concepts.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms in place of repeated words. For example, instead of repeating "international cooperation," alternatives like "global collaboration" or "multinational efforts" could be used. Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. For instance, phrases like "environmental repercussions" and "safeguarding water resources" are used accurately to describe the context. However, there are moments where the precision could be improved, such as the phrase "the necessity for consensus among countries." While it is clear, it could be articulated more precisely to emphasize the importance of collective action.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider rephrasing certain expressions to clarify their intent. For example, instead of "the necessity for consensus," the phrase could be refined to "the imperative for unified action among nations." This not only clarifies the meaning but also strengthens the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "environmental," "cooperation," and "reforestation" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing. This level of spelling accuracy is indicative of a strong command of the language.
- How to improve: While the spelling is already strong, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to maintain this standard. Engaging in regular reading and writing exercises can also help reinforce correct spelling patterns and enhance overall language proficiency.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 8. To further improve, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining their excellent spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional clauses, and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For example, the use of a complex sentence in "It is evident that many countries share common natural resources and ecosystems, meaning that environmental impacts can transcend national boundaries" effectively conveys a nuanced idea. Additionally, the conditional structure in "if a country releases pollutants into the Mekong River, the environmental repercussions could affect multiple nations" showcases the writer’s ability to express hypothetical situations. However, while the variety is strong, there are instances where more sophisticated structures could enhance the writing further, such as using more varied introductory phrases or inversion for emphasis.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases (e.g., "In light of this," "Given these circumstances," or "Consequently") to begin sentences. Additionally, using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Rarely have we seen such cooperation among nations") can add sophistication. Practicing the use of participial phrases and relative clauses can also help in creating more complex and engaging sentences.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the necessity for consensus among countries, particularly neighboring nations, in resolving environmental issues" is grammatically correct and well-structured. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list, such as in "greenhouse gas reduction campaigns, carbon credit markets, reforestation efforts, and the advancement of alternative energy sources." However, there are a few areas where punctuation could be improved, such as the potential use of a semicolon to connect closely related independent clauses for better clarity and flow.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, a thorough proofreading process is essential. Pay particular attention to comma usage, ensuring that they are used correctly to avoid run-on sentences or comma splices. Additionally, consider practicing the use of semicolons and colons to connect related ideas more effectively. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation use, the writer can further elevate their writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

The first point supporting international cooperation is the necessity for consensus among countries, particularly neighboring nations, in resolving environmental issues. It is clear that many countries share common natural resources and ecosystems, meaning that environmental impacts can transcend national boundaries. For example, if a country releases pollutants into the Mekong River, the environmental repercussions could affect multiple nations due to the river’s transboundary nature. Therefore, addressing this cross-border issue requires the signing of international treaties to establish consensus and cooperation in safeguarding water resources in the Mekong River basin among the six involved countries.

Secondly, international collaboration motivates countries to work towards global environmental targets. To illustrate, international conferences and treaties not only establish common environmental standards but also set deadlines for states to achieve them. For instance, during the COP28 climate change conference, an agreement was reached to limit global temperature rise to 1.5°C before the end of the decade. To achieve this objective, numerous initiatives such as greenhouse gas reduction campaigns, carbon credit systems, reforestation efforts, and the development of alternative energy sources have been launched to address environmental challenges in various countries.

In conclusion, international cooperation is indispensable in addressing global environmental issues due to shared ecosystems and the crucial role it plays in achieving set targets. However, each country still plays a vital role in promoting environmental activities that are implemented in practice.