An article: Your favourite time of day You see this announcement on an English-language website: Articles wanted My favourite time of day What is your favourite part of the day and why do you like it? Does your favourite part of the day ever change, for example at different times of the year? Write us an article answering these questions. Write your article in 140 – 190 words in an appropriate style.
An article: Your favourite time of day
You see this announcement on an English-language website:
Articles wanted
My favourite time of day
What is your favourite part of the day and why do you like it?
Does your favourite part of the day ever change, for example at different times of the year?
Write us an article answering these questions.
Write your article in 140 – 190 words in an appropriate style.
Have you ever wondered whether there is a specific time of the day that you would prefer it to any other time? Well, it seems ridiculous that I have one.
Apparently, I'm still a student who has up to 12 hours a day mostly spent on studying. Utter how it makes sense that I love these late nights when I can make time for myself rather than studying only. That's when I tackle my problems, work on myself and prepare for a brand new day.
Nonetheless, it changes when the weather gets colder in winter. I don't feel like doing anything under the blanket, which is necessary to keep my body warm on a freezing night. The later at night it gets, the colder it becomes. Hence, I wouldn't stand a chance to get out of bed, not to mention anything else.
In the end, even though it's not a clever idea of a time to rest, 24 hours is not enough for most of us nowadays. So next time, let's get rid of mundane tasks to enjoy yourself at the most peaceful time of the day!
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Have you ever wondered whether there is a specific time of the day that you would prefer it to any other time?" -> "Have you ever considered whether there is a particular time of day that you prefer over others?"
Explanation: Replacing "prefer it to any other time" with "prefer over others" simplifies and clarifies the phrasing, making it more direct and formal. -
"Well, it seems ridiculous that I have one." -> "Indeed, it is surprising that I have a preference."
Explanation: "Well" is too conversational for academic writing, and "ridiculous" is an emotional term that is not suitable for formal essays. "Indeed" is a more formal alternative, and "surprising" is less emotive and more appropriate. -
"I’m still a student who has up to 12 hours a day mostly spent on studying." -> "As a student, I spend up to 12 hours daily on studying."
Explanation: "I’m still a student" is informal and conversational; "As a student" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. Also, "mostly spent" is vague; "daily" provides a clearer and more precise frequency. -
"Utter how it makes sense that I love these late nights when I can make time for myself rather than studying only." -> "It is logical that I prefer these late nights, when I can dedicate time to myself rather than solely to studying."
Explanation: "Utter how it makes sense" is awkward and informal; "It is logical" is clearer and more formal. "Rather than studying only" is redundant; "solely to studying" is more concise and formal. -
"That’s when I tackle my problems, work on myself and prepare for a brand new day." -> "This is when I address my challenges, focus on personal development, and prepare for the next day."
Explanation: "Tackle my problems" and "work on myself" are colloquial expressions; "address my challenges" and "focus on personal development" are more precise and formal. "Brand new day" is informal; "next day" is more appropriate. -
"Nonetheless, it changes when the weather gets colder in winter." -> "However, this changes when the weather becomes colder in winter."
Explanation: "Nonetheless" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "However" for a more formal tone. "It changes" is vague; "this changes" specifies what changes. -
"I don’t feel like doing anything under the blanket, which is necessary to keep my body warm on a freezing night." -> "I do not feel inclined to engage in any activities under the blanket, which is essential for keeping my body warm on a cold night."
Explanation: "Don’t feel like" is informal; "do not feel inclined to engage in any activities" is more formal. "Freezing" is an exaggeration; "cold" is more accurate and less sensational. -
"The later at night it gets, the colder it becomes." -> "The later the hour, the colder it becomes."
Explanation: "The later at night it gets" is awkward and informal; "The later the hour" is more concise and formal. -
"Hence, I wouldn’t stand a chance to get out of bed, not to mention anything else." -> "Consequently, I would not be able to get out of bed, let alone engage in other activities."
Explanation: "Hence" is somewhat informal; "Consequently" is more formal. "Wouldn’t stand a chance" is colloquial; "would not be able to" is more precise. "Not to mention anything else" is redundant; "let alone engage in other activities" is more direct and formal. -
"So next time, let’s get rid of mundane tasks to enjoy yourself at the most peaceful time of the day!" -> "Therefore, let us eliminate mundane tasks to appreciate the most peaceful time of the day."
Explanation: "So next time" is informal and conversational; "Therefore" is more formal. "Let’s get rid of" is casual; "let us eliminate" is more formal. "Enjoy yourself" is informal; "appreciate" is more suitable for academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the writer’s favorite time of day, which is late at night. However, it lacks a clear and thorough exploration of the second part of the question regarding whether this favorite time changes with the seasons. While the writer mentions a change during winter, the explanation is vague and does not fully elaborate on how the favorite time of day shifts or why it changes.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that both parts of the prompt are fully addressed. This could involve providing a more detailed comparison of the favorite time of day in different seasons, perhaps discussing specific activities or feelings associated with each season that influence the preference.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that late nights are the preferred time due to personal reflection and preparation for the next day. However, the position becomes somewhat muddled with the introduction of winter’s impact on this preference, which could confuse readers about the writer’s ultimate stance. The phrase "it’s not a clever idea of a time to rest" introduces ambiguity regarding the author’s view on late nights.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently reinforce why late nights are favored despite the challenges posed by winter. A more definitive statement about the importance of late nights, even in winter, would help solidify the position. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more clearly.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents the idea of late nights being a time for personal reflection and preparation. However, the support for this idea is limited and lacks depth. The writer mentions "tackling problems" and "working on myself," but does not provide specific examples or anecdotes that could make these points more relatable and engaging.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples of activities or thoughts that occur during late nights. This could involve describing a particular problem tackled or a personal goal worked on, which would add depth and make the essay more compelling.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the writer’s favorite time of day. However, the discussion about winter and the challenges it brings could be seen as a slight deviation from the main focus. The concluding statement about getting rid of mundane tasks feels disconnected from the main theme of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the favorite time of day. The discussion about winter should be tied back to how it affects the enjoyment of late nights, rather than introducing a new idea about mundane tasks. A more cohesive conclusion that ties back to the main theme would help reinforce the topic.
Overall, the essay needs to meet the word count requirement and develop its ideas more fully to achieve a higher band score. Expanding on each point with specific examples and maintaining a clear, consistent position will greatly enhance the quality of the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. The writer begins by posing a rhetorical question, which engages the reader, and then transitions into a personal reflection on their favorite time of day. The discussion about late nights is logically followed by a contrasting point regarding winter, which adds depth to the narrative. However, the transition between the enjoyment of late nights and the impact of winter could be smoother, as the abrupt shift may confuse readers about the central theme.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could use clearer transitional phrases to connect ideas. For instance, after discussing the enjoyment of late nights, a phrase like "However, this preference is challenged during the winter months" would help clarify the relationship between the two ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to the central theme of the essay would strengthen the overall organization.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the second discusses the writer’s preference, and the third reflects on seasonal changes. However, the paragraphs could be more distinctly defined. The second paragraph, while discussing late nights, could be split into two: one focusing on the enjoyment of late nights and another addressing the challenges posed by winter.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. This can be achieved by starting a new paragraph when introducing a new aspect of the discussion. For example, after discussing the joys of late nights, a new paragraph could begin with a sentence that introduces the impact of winter on the writer’s routine. This would help readers follow the progression of ideas more easily.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "nonetheless" and "hence," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied expressions to enhance cohesion. For example, the use of "however" and "on the other hand" could provide clearer contrasts between ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, the writer should consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "in addition" to introduce supplementary information or "consequently" to show cause and effect would enhance the flow of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more dynamic writing style, making the essay more engaging for the reader.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "ridiculous," "tackle," "mundane," and "peaceful" effectively conveying the author’s ideas. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "time of the day" and "get out of bed," which detracts from the overall richness of the language. The use of "necessary" and "freezing" also lacks variety, as synonyms could have been employed to enhance the text.
- How to improve: To improve, the author should aim to incorporate more varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "time of the day," alternatives like "period," "moment," or "hour" could be used. Additionally, exploring synonyms for "cold" (e.g., "chilly," "frigid") and "enjoy" (e.g., "savor," "relish") would enhance lexical diversity.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "it seems ridiculous that I have one" could be interpreted ambiguously; it is unclear whether "one" refers to a favorite time or something else. Furthermore, the phrase "not to mention anything else" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the author should ensure that each term used clearly reflects the intended meaning. For instance, clarifying the initial statement to specify "it seems ridiculous that I have a favorite time of day" would eliminate ambiguity. Additionally, replacing vague phrases with more specific language, such as "not to mention my reluctance to engage in other activities," would improve clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that would impede understanding. However, the phrase "Utter how it makes sense" appears awkward and may confuse readers, suggesting a possible issue with word choice rather than spelling.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy and overall clarity, the author should review their work for awkward phrasing and consider using simpler, more direct expressions. Regular practice with spelling and vocabulary exercises, such as flashcards or spelling quizzes, could also be beneficial in reinforcing correct spelling and usage.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in lexical range, precision, and clarity. By diversifying word choice, ensuring precise language, and refining phrasing, the author can enhance their lexical resource score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of conditional structures in "I wouldn’t stand a chance to get out of bed" showcases an understanding of more advanced grammatical forms. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of variety in the types of clauses used. The phrase "that’s when I tackle my problems, work on myself and prepare for a brand new day" could be more effectively varied by incorporating different sentence structures or transitional phrases.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more introductory phrases or clauses. For instance, instead of starting sentences with "I," try beginning with adverbial phrases (e.g., "During the late hours, I tackle my problems…") or using participial phrases (e.g., "Feeling inspired, I prepare for a brand new day"). Additionally, incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses could enhance the overall complexity of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "Utter how it makes sense" is awkward and unclear; it seems to be a misphrasing of "I find it utterly ridiculous how it makes sense." Additionally, punctuation is mostly correct, but the use of commas could be improved for better readability. For instance, the sentence "The later at night it gets, the colder it becomes" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas more distinctly.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on clarity in expression. Revise awkward phrases to ensure they convey the intended meaning clearly. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and enhance sentence flow. For example, consider revising complex sentences to ensure that they are punctuated correctly, such as "As the night progresses, I find it increasingly difficult to leave my warm bed." This not only clarifies the meaning but also improves the overall readability of the essay.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
Have you ever wondered whether there is a specific time of day that you prefer over any other time? Well, it seems surprising that I have one.
As a student, I spend up to 12 hours a day mostly studying. It makes sense that I love these late nights when I can make time for myself rather than studying only. That’s when I tackle my problems, work on personal development, and prepare for a brand new day.
However, this changes when the weather gets colder in winter. I don’t feel like doing anything under the blanket, which is necessary to keep my body warm on a freezing night. The later it gets, the colder it becomes. Hence, I wouldn’t stand a chance of getting out of bed, not to mention engaging in other activities.
In the end, even though it’s not the best idea to rest at this time, 24 hours is not enough for most of us nowadays. So next time, let’s eliminate mundane tasks to enjoy ourselves at the most peaceful time of the day!
