Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school.
What are the reasons?
What could be done to solve this problem?

Many people believe that it is difficult for students to focus or pay attention during classes. There are several reasons for this, and it is essential to understand these reasons in order to find effective solutions.
To begin with, one of the main reasons is the development of modern technology. Today technology is a big part of students’ lives, they often get distracted by social media, laptop, smartphones or video games. These things are fun and addictive, so it is hard for students to pay attention to their schoolwork. Moreover, spending many hours playing games or surf the internet can make them not have enough time sleep. This also affects to their brain’s ability to focus on the lesson and makes them feel tired. A tired student is easily more forgetful and inattentive, so it can have impact on their academic performance
There are several ways to solve this problem. First, it is important to promote healthy habits such as encouraging them to get enough sleep and eat a balanced diet including fruits, vegetables . Parents can limit distractions by turning of devices such as television or smartphone during their study time to help students concentrate to their studies. In addition, if students have troubles in focusing, parents should seek the advice of doctor or psychologist to treat timely.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why children can not focus in school, by promoting healthy habits, limiting distractions, children can concentrate and succeed in their study.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Many people believe" -> "It is widely acknowledged"
   Explanation: "It is widely acknowledged" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a general opinion, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more casual "Many people believe."

2. "it is difficult for students to focus or pay attention" -> "students often struggle to maintain focus and attention"
   Explanation: "Students often struggle to maintain focus and attention" is a more precise and formal way to describe the difficulty students face in concentrating, which is more appropriate for academic discourse.

3. "Today technology is a big part of students’ lives" -> "Technology plays a significant role in students’ lives"
   Explanation: "Technology plays a significant role in students’ lives" is a more formal and academically precise phrase that avoids the colloquialism "big part."

4. "they often get distracted by social media, laptop, smartphones or video games" -> "they frequently become distracted by social media, laptops, smartphones, and video games"
   Explanation: Adding "frequently" and correcting the list to include commas and the plural form "laptops" improves the formality and clarity of the sentence.

5. "These things are fun and addictive" -> "These activities are engaging and addictive"
   Explanation: "Engaging" is a more formal synonym for "fun," and using "activities" instead of "things" provides a clearer and more specific reference to the behaviors mentioned.

6. "spending many hours playing games or surf the internet" -> "spending numerous hours playing games or surfing the internet"
   Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal than "many," and "surfing" should be hyphenated as "surfing" to maintain grammatical correctness.

7. "This also affects to their brain’s ability" -> "This also affects their brain’s ability"
   Explanation: Removing the incorrect preposition "affects to" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone.

8. "makes them not have enough time sleep" -> "leaves them insufficient time for sleep"
   Explanation: "Leaves them insufficient time for sleep" is a more formal and grammatically correct way to express the idea.

9. "This also affects to their brain’s ability to focus" -> "This also impairs their brain’s ability to focus"
   Explanation: "Impairs" is a more precise and formal term than "affects," and it correctly describes the negative impact on cognitive function.

10. "it can have impact on their academic performance" -> "it can impact their academic performance"
    Explanation: "Impact" should not be preceded by "have," and the phrase should be simplified for clarity and formality.

11. "encouraging them to get enough sleep and eat a balanced diet including fruits, vegetables" -> "encouraging them to obtain adequate sleep and consume a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables"
    Explanation: "Obtain adequate sleep" and "consume a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables" are more precise and formal expressions.

12. "Parents can limit distractions by turning of devices" -> "Parents can minimize distractions by turning off devices"
    Explanation: "Minimize" is more specific than "limit," and "off" should be hyphenated as "off" for grammatical correctness.

13. "to help students concentrate to their studies" -> "to help students concentrate on their studies"
    Explanation: "On" is the correct preposition for indicating focus, and the phrase should be simplified for clarity.

14. "if students have troubles in focusing" -> "if students experience difficulties in focusing"
    Explanation: "Experience difficulties" is a more formal and precise way to describe the challenges students face.

15. "to treat timely" -> "to address promptly"
    Explanation: "Address promptly" is a more formal and precise term than "treat timely," which is awkward and unclear in this context.

16. "children can not focus in school" -> "children are unable to focus in school"
    Explanation: "Are unable to" is a more formal and grammatically correct way to express inability, and "in school" should be "at school" for correct prepositional usage.

17. "by promoting healthy habits, limiting distractions, children can concentrate and succeed in their study" -> "by promoting healthy habits and limiting distractions, children can concentrate and succeed in their studies"
    Explanation: Adding "and" corrects the list structure, and "studies" should be plural to match the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying reasons why students struggle to concentrate and suggesting solutions. However, it lacks depth in discussing the reasons and solutions. For instance, while the impact of technology is mentioned, there is no exploration of other potential reasons such as classroom environment, teaching methods, or personal issues. The solutions provided are somewhat generic and do not fully engage with the complexity of the problem.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should explore a wider range of reasons for students’ difficulties in concentrating, such as environmental factors or psychological issues. Additionally, solutions should be more specific and actionable, possibly including examples of programs or strategies that schools could implement.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that students struggle to concentrate due to modern technology and that promoting healthy habits can help. However, the position is not consistently articulated throughout the essay. The transition between discussing problems and solutions is abrupt, which can confuse the reader about the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should use topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, linking phrases can help to create smoother transitions between ideas, reinforcing the overall argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack sufficient development and support. For example, the mention of technology as a distraction is valid, but it could be extended with examples or statistics to illustrate the point. Similarly, the solutions proposed are not well-supported with evidence or elaboration on how they could be effectively implemented.
  • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. This could involve discussing specific studies or expert opinions on the impact of technology on attention spans or detailing how parents can effectively limit distractions.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for and solutions to students’ difficulties in concentrating. However, there are moments where the argument becomes vague, particularly in the conclusion, where the phrasing is unclear and lacks a strong summary of the main points.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt and reinforces the main argument. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points made in the essay, reiterating the importance of addressing the identified issues.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim to expand on ideas, provide clearer structure and transitions, and ensure that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed with specific examples and solutions. Additionally, paying attention to word count and ensuring the essay meets the minimum requirement will also be crucial for achieving a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons and solutions, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by stating the problem and hinting at the solutions. However, the flow between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the reasons related to technology to the solutions is somewhat abrupt. The essay could benefit from clearer linking phrases to guide the reader through the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "On the other hand" to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, grouping similar ideas together within the body paragraphs can help maintain a clear focus. For example, discussing all technological distractions in one paragraph before moving on to solutions would create a more cohesive argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with distinct sections for reasons and solutions. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, but some paragraphs could be further developed. For instance, the paragraph discussing reasons could be split into two: one focusing on technology and another on the impact of fatigue. This would allow for more detailed exploration of each point.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, aim for a balanced development of each paragraph by providing examples or further explanations. For instance, when discussing the impact of technology, you could include specific examples of how social media affects attention spans.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Moreover," and "In conclusion." However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the phrase "it is important to" is used multiple times, which detracts from the overall fluidity of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "it is important to," you could use phrases like "One effective strategy is to," or "Another crucial aspect is." Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help maintain cohesion without redundancy. For instance, instead of repeating "students," you could use "they" or "these learners" in subsequent sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "distracted," "addictive," and "promote healthy habits." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "pay attention" and "focus," which appear multiple times without variation. Additionally, phrases such as "big part of students’ lives" and "troubles in focusing" could be expressed with more sophisticated vocabulary.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "focus," alternatives like "concentrate," "engage," or "attend to" could be employed. Incorporating more academic or topic-specific vocabulary related to education and psychology could also elevate the essay’s lexical resource.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its message, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "affects to their brain’s ability" should be "affects their brain’s ability." Additionally, "turning of devices" should be corrected to "turning off devices." Such errors can lead to confusion and detract from the clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, it is crucial to proofread the essay for grammatical errors and ensure that phrases are used correctly. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find the right word for the context, but it is essential to understand the nuances of the words chosen to avoid miscommunication.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "surf the internet" (should be "surfing the internet"), "not have enough time sleep" (should be "not have enough time to sleep"), and "turning of devices" (should be "turning off devices"). These errors can hinder the reader’s understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, regular practice with spelling exercises and reading more extensively can be beneficial. Utilizing spell-check tools during the writing process can also help catch errors. Additionally, writing drafts and revising them can provide opportunities to correct spelling mistakes before final submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases such as "To begin with" and "Moreover" effectively transitions between ideas. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "Today technology is a big part of students’ lives, they often get distracted by social media, laptop, smartphones or video games" is a run-on sentence that could benefit from restructuring for clarity and variety.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "Today technology is a big part of students’ lives, they often get distracted," the writer could say, "As technology has become an integral part of students’ lives, they often find themselves distracted by social media, laptops, smartphones, and video games." This not only improves the grammatical range but also enhances the flow of ideas.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, in the phrase "spending many hours playing games or surf the internet," the verb "surf" should be in the gerund form to match "spending," resulting in "surfing the internet." Additionally, the phrase "this also affects to their brain’s ability" is incorrect; it should be "this also affects their brain’s ability." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, also appear, as seen in "parents can limit distractions by turning of devices such as television or smartphone during their study time."
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb forms, ensuring that all verbs match the intended grammatical structure. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. For punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding commas in compound sentences and lists. For instance, in the sentence "including fruits, vegetables," a conjunction should follow to complete the list properly, such as "including fruits and vegetables." Engaging in peer review or using grammar-checking tools could also aid in identifying and correcting these errors before final submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many people believe that it is difficult for students to concentrate or pay attention during classes. There are several reasons for this, and it is essential to understand these reasons in order to find effective solutions.

To begin with, one of the main reasons is the development of modern technology. Today, technology plays a significant role in students’ lives; they often become distracted by social media, laptops, smartphones, and video games. These activities are engaging and addictive, making it hard for students to focus on their schoolwork. Moreover, spending numerous hours playing games or surfing the internet can leave them insufficient time for sleep. This also impairs their brain’s ability to focus on lessons and makes them feel tired. A tired student is more forgetful and inattentive, which can impact their academic performance.

There are several ways to solve this problem. First, it is important to promote healthy habits, such as encouraging students to obtain adequate sleep and consume a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Parents can minimize distractions by turning off devices such as televisions or smartphones during study time to help students concentrate on their studies. In addition, if students experience difficulties in focusing, parents should seek the advice of a doctor or psychologist to address these issues promptly.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why children are unable to focus in school. By promoting healthy habits and limiting distractions, children can concentrate and succeed in their studies.