Nowadays more and more older people who need employment must compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

In recent year, older individuals increasingly compete with younger job seekers for employment. This essay will examine the problems this situation causes and propose potential solutions.
This trend creates several challenges in the job market.
Firstly, it can lead to age discrimination, where employers might favor younger candidates due to perceived higher energy levels or up-to-date skills, unfairly disadvantaging older applicants. For instance, a qualified 55-year-old might be overlooked for a tech position in favor of a recent graduate, despite having valuable experience.
Secondly, this competition can increase tension between generations in the workplace. Younger employees may feel that older workers are blocking their career advancement, while older workers might resent being managed by younger colleagues. This tension can result in a less harmonious work environment and reduced productivity.
To address these problems, several measures can be implemented.
One solution is to promote age-diverse workplaces through government policies and corporate initiatives. Companies could be offered incentives to maintain a balanced age distribution in their workforce, ensuring fair opportunities for all age groups. This approach would help reduce age discrimination and foster and environment where different generations can learn from each other.
Additionally, investing in lifelong learning and skills development programs can help bridge the gap between older and younger workers. By providing older workers with opportunities to update their skills, particularly in technology, they can remain competitive. Simultaneously, mentorship programs where older workers share their experience with younger colleagues can create mutual respect between generations.
In conclusion, the competition between older and younger job seekers leads to age discrimination and generational tension. By promoting age-diverse workplaces and investing in continuous learning, we can create a more inclusive job market that values the contributions of all age groups, benefiting from the strengths of both younger and older employees.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent year" -> "In recent years"
Explanation: "Years" should be plural to correctly reflect the general trend over time, enhancing the grammatical accuracy of the sentence.
"older individuals increasingly compete" -> "older individuals are increasingly competing"
Explanation: Adding "are" corrects the verb tense to match the present continuous aspect, which is more appropriate for describing ongoing trends.
"This essay will examine" -> "This essay examines"
Explanation: Changing "will examine" to "examines" corrects the tense to the present, which is more suitable for academic essays that discuss general principles rather than specific future actions.
"This trend creates several challenges" -> "This trend poses several challenges"
Explanation: "Poses" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating the presentation of challenges rather than their creation, which is more accurate in describing the impact of the trend.
"Firstly" -> "First"
Explanation: "Firstly" is a less formal and slightly archaic term. "First" is more straightforward and suitable for academic writing.
"might be overlooked" -> "may be overlooked"
Explanation: "May" is a more formal alternative to "might" in academic writing, enhancing the tone of possibility without diminishing the potential impact.
"despite having valuable experience" -> "despite their valuable experience"
Explanation: Adding "their" clarifies the possessive relationship, improving the sentence structure and readability.
"this competition can increase" -> "this competition may increase"
Explanation: "May" is used to indicate possibility, which is more appropriate in academic writing than "can," which is more general.
"might resent being managed" -> "might resent being managed by younger colleagues"
Explanation: Adding "by younger colleagues" specifies the source of the resentment, enhancing clarity and precision.
"less harmonious work environment" -> "less harmonious work environments"
Explanation: Pluralizing "environment" corrects the grammatical agreement with "environments" mentioned later in the sentence.
"promote age-diverse workplaces" -> "promote workplaces with age diversity"
Explanation: "With age diversity" is a more precise and formal way to describe the characteristic of workplaces, aligning better with academic style.
"ensuring fair opportunities for all age groups" -> "ensuring equal opportunities for all age groups"
Explanation: "Equal" is more specific and academically precise than "fair," which can be vague and subjective.
"foster and environment" -> "foster an environment"
Explanation: Correcting "and" to "an" fixes a grammatical error, ensuring proper article usage.
"By providing older workers with opportunities" -> "By offering older workers opportunities"
Explanation: "Offering" is a more direct and formal verb than "providing," which is more commonly used in academic contexts.
"share their experience" -> "share their expertise"
Explanation: "Expertise" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "experience," which can be too broad and vague in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies two significant problems: age discrimination and generational tension in the workplace. The problems are clearly articulated, with relevant examples such as the scenario of a qualified older applicant being overlooked for a tech position. Additionally, the proposed solutions—promoting age-diverse workplaces and investing in lifelong learning—are relevant and actionable.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the problems and the solutions. For instance, after discussing age discrimination, it could directly link this issue to the proposed solution of promoting age-diverse workplaces by explaining how this could mitigate the problem. Including a brief discussion of the broader societal implications of these issues could also strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, advocating for the need to address the challenges posed by the competition between older and younger job seekers. The introduction sets the tone, and the conclusion reiterates the importance of inclusivity in the job market. The stance is consistent, as the essay does not waver from discussing the problems and their solutions.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could enhance its persuasiveness by incorporating more varied vocabulary and stronger transitional phrases that reinforce the argument. For example, using phrases like "Moreover" or "Furthermore" when introducing solutions could create a more cohesive flow and emphasize the connection between problems and solutions.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly and supported with relevant examples. The discussion of age discrimination is well-supported by the example of the 55-year-old applicant, and the mention of generational tension is effectively illustrated. The solutions are also well-developed, particularly the idea of mentorship programs, which is a practical approach to fostering intergenerational respect.
- How to improve: To further extend ideas, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made. For instance, citing studies that show the benefits of age-diverse teams or the success rates of lifelong learning programs could provide additional weight to the argument. Additionally, discussing potential challenges to implementing these solutions could demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexities involved.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the competition between older and younger job seekers and the associated problems and solutions. There are no noticeable deviations from the topic, and each paragraph contributes to the overall argument.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, it could enhance clarity by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt. This would help guide the reader through the argument and reinforce the focus on the issues and solutions related to the competition for jobs between different age groups.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the issues and potential solutions. With minor adjustments to enhance connections between ideas and the inclusion of more supporting evidence, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical progression of ideas. It begins with an introduction that outlines the topic and the focus of the discussion. The body paragraphs are well-structured, with the first addressing the problems caused by competition between older and younger job seekers, and the second presenting solutions. Each problem is followed by a relevant example, which enhances understanding. For instance, the mention of age discrimination is effectively illustrated with the example of a qualified 55-year-old being overlooked for a tech position.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between points. For example, when transitioning from discussing age discrimination to generational tension, a phrase like "In addition to this issue" could help clarify the relationship between these problems.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, with the first focusing on the problems and the second on solutions. However, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly outlines the two main points that will be discussed, which would guide the reader more effectively.
- How to improve: Strengthen the introduction by explicitly stating the problems and solutions that will be explored in the essay. For example, you could revise the thesis to say, "This essay will examine the problems of age discrimination and generational tension, and propose solutions such as promoting age diversity and investing in lifelong learning."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a good range of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Additionally," which help to structure the argument clearly. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, while "Firstly" and "Secondly" are effective, incorporating other devices like "Moreover," "On the other hand," or "Consequently" could enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or variations in your transitions. Instead of repeating "Firstly" and "Secondly," you could use "To begin with" and "In addition" for the first two points, and then "Furthermore" or "Another significant solution" for subsequent ideas. This will create a more engaging reading experience and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a strong command of coherence and cohesion principles. By refining the thesis statement, enhancing transitions, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve even higher clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Terms like "age discrimination," "career advancement," "harmonious work environment," and "lifelong learning" are effectively used to convey complex ideas. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "older" and "younger" could be diversified with synonyms such as "senior" or "junior," which would enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating a broader array of synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "older individuals," you could use "senior citizens" or "mature workers." This will not only enhance the richness of your vocabulary but also demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "up-to-date skills" could be more specifically articulated as "current technological skills" to clarify the type of skills being referenced. Additionally, the term "blocking their career advancement" could imply a more aggressive action than intended; a phrase like "perceived as hindering" would be more precise.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to ensure clarity and precision. When discussing concepts, consider the nuances of the terms you choose. For example, instead of "tension," you might use "friction" or "conflict" if they better capture the intended meaning. This will enhance the clarity of your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "discrimination," "environment," and "experience" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is currently strong, maintaining this level of accuracy is crucial. To further enhance spelling skills, consider engaging in regular reading and writing exercises, which can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Additionally, utilizing tools like spell checkers during the editing phase can help catch any inadvertent errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with a band score of 7, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By diversifying vocabulary and refining word choices, the essay can achieve a higher level of lexical sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "This trend creates several challenges in the job market" and "To address these problems, several measures can be implemented" showcases an ability to convey nuanced ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain clarity and engagement. However, there are instances of less varied sentence beginnings, which could be improved for greater dynamism.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider varying the introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This" or "One solution is," you could use phrases like "An effective approach could be…" or "Another significant challenge is…" This will enhance the flow and keep the reader engaged.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are minor errors, such as "In recent year" which should be "In recent years," indicating a lack of subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the phrase "foster and environment" contains a typographical error where "and" should be "an." These errors, while not frequent, can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread the essay for minor errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and typographical mistakes. Practicing grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls can also be beneficial. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing or errors that might be overlooked during silent reading.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve an even higher level of grammatical range and accuracy, further solidifying its effectiveness in communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, older individuals are increasingly competing with younger job seekers for employment. This essay examines the problems this situation causes and proposes potential solutions.

This trend poses several challenges in the job market.

First, it can lead to age discrimination, where employers might favor younger candidates due to perceived higher energy levels or up-to-date skills, unfairly disadvantaging older applicants. For instance, a qualified 55-year-old may be overlooked for a tech position in favor of a recent graduate, despite their valuable experience.

Second, this competition may increase tension between generations in the workplace. Younger employees might feel that older workers are blocking their career advancement, while older workers may resent being managed by younger colleagues. This tension can result in less harmonious work environments and reduced productivity.

To address these problems, several measures can be implemented.

One solution is to promote workplaces with age diversity through government policies and corporate initiatives. Companies could be offered incentives to maintain a balanced age distribution in their workforce, ensuring equal opportunities for all age groups. This approach would help reduce age discrimination and foster an environment where different generations can learn from each other.

Additionally, investing in lifelong learning and skills development programs can help bridge the gap between older and younger workers. By offering older workers opportunities to update their skills, particularly in technology, they can remain competitive. Simultaneously, mentorship programs where older workers share their expertise with younger colleagues can create mutual respect between generations.

In conclusion, the competition between older and younger job seekers leads to age discrimination and generational tension. By promoting age-diverse workplaces and investing in continuous learning, we can create a more inclusive job market that values the contributions of all age groups, benefiting from the strengths of both younger and older employees.