quy trình làm đồ tái chế

quy trình làm đồ tái chế

For the flowers, our group used washed plastic bottles, used scissors to cut off the cap and bottle, keeping the body of the bottle. Continue using scissors to cut the bottle body into the shape of petals and leaves as desired. Then use paint to paint over the cut parts. After the colors were dry, we used a lighter to gently heat them so they had a more petal-like shape. The leaves are similar. My group used zinc to make the body (can be replaced with a straw), and used hot glue to shape each petal in order into the body to create a complete flower.
For flower pots, the group used empty badminton balls. Cockroaches covered with cardboard on the outside create the shape of the flower pot, and inside use foam to hold the flowers.
Why, once we have a pot, flowers and leaves, we ban the flowers from going into the pot and shape it to make it more beautiful.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "For the flowers, our group used" -> "To create flowers, our group employed"
    Explanation: "To create flowers" is more specific and formal than "For the flowers", and "employed" is more precise than "used" in an academic context, emphasizing the action of using materials in a creative process.

  2. "washed plastic bottles, used scissors to cut off the cap and bottle, keeping the body of the bottle" -> "cleaned plastic bottles, utilized scissors to remove the caps and bottle bodies, retaining the bottle bodies"
    Explanation: "Cleaned" is more specific than "washed" in this context, and "utilized" is more formal than "used". Additionally, "remove the caps and bottle bodies" is more precise than "cut off the cap and bottle", and "retaining" is more formal than "keeping".

  3. "Continue using scissors to cut the bottle body into the shape of petals and leaves as desired" -> "Continued to cut the bottle bodies into petal and leaf shapes as desired"
    Explanation: "Continued to cut" is more formal and continuous than "Continue using", and "petal and leaf shapes" is more concise and formal than "the shape of petals and leaves".

  4. "use paint to paint over the cut parts" -> "apply paint to the cut sections"
    Explanation: "Apply paint" is more precise and less redundant than "use paint to paint", and "sections" is more formal than "parts".

  5. "After the colors were dry, we used a lighter to gently heat them so they had a more petal-like shape" -> "After the paint dried, we employed a hair dryer to gently heat them to achieve a more petal-like shape"
    Explanation: "Employed" is more formal than "used", and "hair dryer" is more specific than "a lighter", which is typically used for ignition rather than heating.

  6. "The leaves are similar" -> "The leaves were similarly shaped"
    Explanation: "Were similarly shaped" provides a clearer and more formal description of the process, indicating the similarity in shape.

  7. "My group used zinc to make the body (can be replaced with a straw)" -> "My group utilized zinc to create the body, which could be replaced with a straw"
    Explanation: "Utilized" is more formal than "used", and "create" is more precise than "make". The addition of "which could be replaced with a straw" clarifies the alternative option.

  8. "used hot glue to shape each petal in order into the body to create a complete flower" -> "utilized hot glue to shape each petal into the body, thereby creating a complete flower"
    Explanation: "Utilized" is more formal than "used", and "thereby creating" is a more formal way to indicate the result of an action.

  9. "Cockroaches covered with cardboard on the outside create the shape of the flower pot" -> "Cardboard covers on the outside of the cockroaches formed the shape of the flower pot"
    Explanation: This revision clarifies the subject and object of the action, making it clearer and more formal.

  10. "Why, once we have a pot, flowers and leaves, we ban the flowers from going into the pot and shape it to make it more beautiful" -> "Once we have the pot, flowers, and leaves, we prevent the flowers from entering the pot and shape it to enhance its aesthetic appeal"
    Explanation: "Prevent" is more formal than "ban", and "enhance its aesthetic appeal" is a more precise and formal way to describe improving the beauty of something.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to describe a recycling process but lacks a comprehensive approach to the prompt. It primarily focuses on the creation of flowers and flower pots from recycled materials without addressing the broader context of recycling or the significance of the process. The essay does not explain the overall recycling process or its benefits, which are essential elements of the prompt.
    • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the essay should include an introduction that outlines the importance of recycling and a conclusion that summarizes the benefits of the described processes. Additionally, providing a brief overview of the recycling process before delving into specific examples would enhance clarity and completeness.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear position regarding the importance of recycling. While it describes the steps taken to create items from recycled materials, it does not articulate why these actions matter or how they contribute to environmental sustainability. The narrative is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to grasp a consistent message.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state the purpose of the recycling process at the beginning of the essay. Throughout the essay, reinforcing this position with statements about the environmental impact of recycling would help to unify the content and provide a stronger argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are basic and lack depth. While the steps for creating flowers and flower pots are detailed, there is little elaboration on the significance of using recycled materials or the creative aspects of the project. The essay does not provide supporting evidence or examples that could enrich the discussion.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should include more background information on recycling and its benefits. Adding personal reflections or examples of how these projects can inspire others to recycle would also strengthen the essay. Each step in the process could be linked to a broader theme of sustainability.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic regarding the creation of recycled items; however, it occasionally veers off by not connecting the process to the larger theme of recycling. The final sentence about shaping the flowers in the pot feels somewhat disconnected and does not contribute to the main topic.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each part of the essay ties back to the main theme of recycling. Avoiding extraneous details and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall argument will help keep the essay on track.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the recycling process, maintain a clear and consistent position throughout, provide more depth and support for ideas, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear sequence of steps involved in creating recycled flower decorations. The process is outlined in a logical order, starting from the preparation of materials to the final assembly of the flower and pot. For example, the transition from cutting the plastic bottles to painting them is smooth, indicating a good flow of ideas. However, the organization could be improved by grouping related actions together more effectively, such as discussing all steps related to the flowers before moving on to the pots.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using headings or bullet points for each main section (e.g., "Creating Flowers" and "Making Flower Pots"). This would help in visually separating the different parts of the process and make it easier for the reader to follow along.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which affects readability. Currently, all information is presented in a single block of text, making it challenging for the reader to distinguish between different stages of the process. Each step could benefit from being placed in its own paragraph to emphasize its importance and to provide a natural pause for the reader.
    • How to improve: Implement a paragraph structure where each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the process. For instance, one paragraph could detail the steps for making the flowers, while another could focus on the flower pots. This would not only improve clarity but also enhance the overall presentation of the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "then" and "after," to indicate the sequence of actions. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, which can lead to a repetitive reading experience. For instance, the repeated use of "used" at the beginning of several sentences detracts from the overall fluidity of the text.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "subsequently," "following this," or "in addition" to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help to reduce redundancy and maintain the reader’s interest.

By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, enhancing both clarity and engagement for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of recycling, such as "plastic bottles," "scissors," "paint," and "hot glue." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, the repeated use of "used" and "cut" indicates a lack of synonyms that could enhance the richness of the text. Phrases like "keeping the body of the bottle" could be expressed more creatively.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or more descriptive phrases. For example, instead of repeating "used," you could employ "utilized" or "employed." Additionally, incorporating more specific terms related to crafting or recycling could elevate the essay’s vocabulary level.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys the intended meaning, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "cockroaches covered with cardboard" is confusing and likely a miscommunication of the intended idea. It seems to refer to a structure for the flower pot but lacks clarity. The term "zinc" is also used without context, which may confuse readers unfamiliar with its application in this context.
    • How to improve: Focus on clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "cockroaches," consider using "cardboard" or "material" to describe the outer layer of the flower pot. Additionally, provide context for terms like "zinc" to clarify its role in the crafting process. Using more precise language will help convey your ideas more effectively.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that detract from understanding. However, the overall structure and coherence of the sentences could be improved to enhance readability.
    • How to improve: To maintain spelling accuracy, continue to proofread your work carefully. Consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to catch any minor errors. Additionally, practicing writing more complex sentences can help improve overall coherence, which indirectly supports spelling accuracy by reinforcing familiarity with word forms and structures.

By addressing these areas, you can work towards improving your lexical resource score in future IELTS essays. Focus on expanding your vocabulary, ensuring precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of simple and compound sentences. For example, the sentences "For the flowers, our group used washed plastic bottles" and "Then use paint to paint over the cut parts" show a basic command of sentence formation. However, the essay lacks more complex structures, such as relative clauses or varied sentence beginnings, which could enhance clarity and engagement. The repetition of "used" and "cut" also indicates a limited range of vocabulary and structure.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating complex sentences that combine ideas. For instance, instead of saying "We used washed plastic bottles," you could say, "After washing the plastic bottles, we transformed them into flowers by cutting and shaping them." Additionally, using a variety of verbs and synonyms can help avoid repetition and make the writing more engaging.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the leaves are similar" is vague and lacks context, while "cockroaches covered with cardboard" seems to be a miscommunication, likely intended to refer to "cardboard" instead of "cockroaches." Furthermore, the lack of commas in compound sentences leads to run-on sentences, which can confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and clarity in expression. For example, instead of saying "the leaves are similar," specify what they are similar to for better context. Additionally, practice using commas to separate clauses and items in a list. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and seeking feedback on sentence construction can also help enhance overall accuracy.

By addressing these areas—expanding the range of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy—you can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

For the flowers, our group employed cleaned plastic bottles and utilized scissors to remove the caps and bottle bodies, retaining the bottle bodies. We continued to cut the bottle bodies into petal and leaf shapes as desired. Then, we applied paint to the cut sections. After the paint dried, we employed a lighter to gently heat them to achieve a more petal-like shape. The leaves were similarly shaped.

My group utilized zinc to create the body, which could be replaced with a straw, and we used hot glue to shape each petal into the body, thereby creating a complete flower.

For the flower pots, the group used empty badminton balls. Cardboard covers on the outside of the cockroaches formed the shape of the flower pot, and inside, we used foam to hold the flowers.

Once we had the pot, flowers, and leaves, we prevented the flowers from entering the pot and shaped it to enhance its aesthetic appeal.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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