The map shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009.

The two maps illustrate the changes made to the ground floor of a library between 2001 and 2009.

Overall, the library underwent significant changes, with new sections added, including a children’s area, a computer section, and other rearrangements to better organize space and provide more facilities.

In terms of the first chart, in 2001, the library layout was simpler, with the majority of the space dedicated to fiction, history, and self-help sections. The central area had four tables for readers, surrounded by newspaper and periodicals, while the librarian’s desk was located near the entrance. The stairs were placed on the right-hand side, leading to other floors.

Fast-forwarding to 2009, the layout had changed significantly. A new children’s area and a section for children’s books replaced the space previously occupied by the self-help section and part of the history area. On the right side, a section for films and DVDs, along with computers, was introduced. Additional areas such as law, economics, and a kitchen were added, optimizing the use of space.

In general, the library saw an improvement in facilities between 2001 and 2009, focusing on serving a wider range of users with modern amenities like computers and dedicated areas for children.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"illustrate" -> "depict"
Explanation: "Depict" is more formal and precise in an academic context, conveying the idea of representing or showing something visually.
"significant changes" -> "substantial modifications"
Explanation: "Substantial modifications" is more formal and specific, enhancing the academic tone while emphasizing the extent of the changes.
"new sections added" -> "new sections incorporated"
Explanation: "Incorporated" suggests a more formal integration of new elements, aligning better with academic language.
"better organize space" -> "enhance spatial organization"
Explanation: "Enhance spatial organization" is more precise and formal, indicating an improvement in the arrangement of space.
"simpler" -> "more straightforward"
Explanation: "More straightforward" maintains a formal tone and conveys clarity without the informal connotation of "simpler."
"the majority of the space dedicated to" -> "a substantial portion of the space allocated to"
Explanation: "Allocated" is a more formal term that implies a deliberate distribution of space, enhancing the academic tone.
"had four tables for readers" -> "included four tables for patrons"
Explanation: "Patrons" is a more formal term than "readers," which is appropriate for an academic context discussing a library.
"surrounded by newspaper and periodicals" -> "surrounded by newspapers and periodicals"
Explanation: "Newspapers" should be plural to maintain grammatical consistency and accuracy.
"Fast-forwarding to 2009" -> "Transitioning to 2009"
Explanation: "Transitioning" is a more formal phrase than "fast-forwarding," which is informal and less suitable for academic writing.
"the layout had changed significantly" -> "the layout underwent substantial changes"
Explanation: "Underwent substantial changes" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the process of change in an academic manner.
"replaced the space previously occupied by" -> "supplanted the area previously designated for"
Explanation: "Supplanted" is a more formal term that conveys the idea of replacing something, while "designated for" is more precise than "occupied by."
"along with computers" -> "in conjunction with computers"
Explanation: "In conjunction with" is a more formal phrase that indicates a simultaneous addition, enhancing the academic tone.
"optimizing the use of space" -> "maximizing spatial efficiency"
Explanation: "Maximizing spatial efficiency" is a more precise and formal expression that conveys the idea of making the best use of available space.
"saw an improvement in facilities" -> "experienced an enhancement in facilities"
Explanation: "Experienced an enhancement" is a more formal and precise way to describe the improvement, suitable for academic writing.
"serving a wider range of users" -> "accommodating a broader spectrum of patrons"
Explanation: "Accommodating a broader spectrum of patrons" is more formal and specific, enhancing the academic tone while emphasizing diversity in user needs.
"modern amenities like computers" -> "contemporary amenities such as computers"
Explanation: "Contemporary" is a more formal term than "modern," and "such as" is preferred over "like" in academic writing for clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main changes to the library. It clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points, but could be more fully extended. For example, the essay could provide more specific details about the changes made to the library, such as the number of tables added or the size of the new children’s area.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes made to the library. For example, the essay could state that the number of tables in the library increased from four to six, or that the new children’s area is twice the size of the old self-help section. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the changes. For example, instead of saying that the library "underwent significant changes," the essay could say that the library "was significantly remodeled."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph addresses specific changes made to the library, and there is a clear central topic within each. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, though there are instances where the transitions could be smoother, indicating some under-use of cohesion. Overall, the essay effectively communicates the changes but could benefit from more varied linking phrases to enhance flow.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphing is not only clear but also enhances the logical flow of information would strengthen the overall coherence. More explicit references to the maps in the context of changes could also improve clarity and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes made to the library. The use of less common lexical items, such as "optimizing" and "dedicated areas," shows an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "fast-forwarding," which may not be the most formal choice for an academic essay. Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate and mostly appropriate, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and phrases that convey precise meanings. Additionally, minimizing inaccuracies in word choice and avoiding informal expressions would elevate the overall quality. Focusing on varied sentence structures and ensuring that all lexical items are used correctly would also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are minor errors present that do not significantly hinder communication. The overall clarity and coherence of the essay are maintained, allowing the reader to easily understand the changes made to the library.

How to improve: To reach a higher band score, the writer could aim to increase the range of grammatical structures used, incorporating more complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings. Additionally, minimizing minor errors and ensuring that all sentences are error-free would enhance the overall grammatical accuracy. Practicing the use of advanced grammatical forms and ensuring precision in punctuation would also contribute to a higher score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two maps illustrate the changes made to the ground floor of a library between 2001 and 2009.

Overall, the library underwent significant transformations, with new sections added, including a children’s area, a computer section, and various rearrangements to enhance space organization and provide additional facilities.

In terms of the first map, in 2001, the library layout was simpler, with the majority of the space dedicated to the fiction, history, and self-help sections. The central area featured four tables for readers, surrounded by newspapers and periodicals, while the librarian’s desk was situated near the entrance. The stairs were located on the right-hand side, leading to other floors.

By 2009, the layout had changed considerably. A new children’s area and a section for children’s books replaced the space previously occupied by the self-help section and part of the history area. On the right side, a section for films and DVDs, along with computers, was introduced. Additional areas such as law, economics, and a kitchen were incorporated, optimizing the use of space.

In general, the library experienced an enhancement in facilities between 2001 and 2009, focusing on catering to a wider range of users with modern amenities like computers and dedicated areas for children.