some people think settle in one location is good. another think that moving places have more benifits. what about your opinion

In recent, many people believe settle in one location for their live, another think that moving places have more benefits. Personally, I totally agree with staying in one place for a long time based on some major reason that are explained in this essay.
Firstly, settlling in one location we will feel comfortable, stable if we find a place which environment is good. We can not change to many houses, transform furnitures, take the clothe, then to new house we need to buy many things again. This is so tired. For instance, I have many bad experiences to changes houses when I learnt at university which was bad thing of my life when I usually go to the new house in 3 months.
Secondly, some family have children, the way we change houses can affect the studying at school. They need to meet new friends, change environment, the different education which lead to low score at school. So it will be worter if we change houses frequently.
Finally, neighborhood can support us, when we have problem. We stay here for long time, we know many neighborhoods, having a good condition. They can help us if bad things happen.
To summarize, people settle in one location for their live have many benefits, stable lives, not to affect children’s education, having good connection with neighborhood who can help us when problems.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent, many people believe settle in one location for their live" -> "Recently, many individuals believe in settling in one location for their lives"
Explanation: "In recent" is grammatically incorrect and vague. "Recently" is the correct adverbial form. Also, "believe settle" should be "believe in settling" for grammatical correctness, and "for their live" should be "for their lives" to correct the noun form and maintain formal tone.
"another think that moving places have more benefits" -> "others believe that moving to different locations offers more benefits"
Explanation: "another think" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Others believe" is grammatically correct and more formal. "moving places" should be "moving to different locations" for clarity and formality.
"Personally, I totally agree with staying in one place for a long time" -> "Personally, I strongly agree with remaining in one location for an extended period"
Explanation: "totally agree" is informal and can be replaced with "strongly agree" for a more academic tone. "staying in one place for a long time" is vague; "remaining in one location for an extended period" is more precise and formal.
"settlling in one location we will feel comfortable, stable if we find a place which environment is good" -> "settling in one location, we will feel comfortable and stable if we find an environment that is conducive"
Explanation: "settlling" is a typographical error; it should be "settling." "which environment is good" is awkward and vague; "that is conducive" is more precise and formal.
"We can not change to many houses, transform furnitures, take the clothe, then to new house we need to buy many things again" -> "We cannot change houses frequently, rearrange furniture, pack clothes, and then purchase new items again"
Explanation: "can not" should be "cannot" for grammatical correctness. "change to many houses" is awkward; "change houses frequently" is clearer. "transform furnitures" should be "rearrange furniture" for grammatical correctness and clarity. "take the clothe" is incorrect; "pack clothes" is the correct term. "buy many things again" is vague; "purchase new items again" is more specific.
"This is so tired" -> "This is extremely tiresome"
Explanation: "This is so tired" is incorrect as "tired" is an adjective describing a state of being, not an experience. "extremely tiresome" is the correct adverbial form for describing something as exhausting.
"bad thing of my life" -> "a negative experience in my life"
Explanation: "bad thing of my life" is informal and vague. "a negative experience in my life" is more precise and formal.
"the way we change houses can affect the studying at school" -> "the frequent changes in our residences can impact our academic performance at school"
Explanation: "the way we change houses" is vague; "the frequent changes in our residences" is more specific. "studying at school" should be "academic performance at school" for a more formal and precise description.
"So it will be worter if we change houses frequently" -> "Therefore, it would be better if we did not change houses frequently"
Explanation: "So it will be worter" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Therefore, it would be better" is grammatically correct and clearer. "change houses frequently" should be "did not change houses frequently" for a clearer negative implication.
"neighborhood can support us, when we have problem" -> "neighborhoods can support us when we encounter problems"
Explanation: "neighborhood can" should be "neighborhoods can" for grammatical agreement. "when we have problem" is awkward and informal; "when we encounter problems" is more formal and grammatically correct.
"having a good condition" -> "being in a good condition"
Explanation: "having a good condition" is awkward and unclear. "being in a good condition" is more natural and clear.
"They can help us if bad things happen" -> "They can assist us in times of need"
Explanation: "if bad things happen" is informal and vague. "in times of need" is more formal and precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion favoring settling in one location. However, it lacks a balanced discussion of the opposing viewpoint, which is essential for a comprehensive response. The phrase "another think that moving places have more benefits" is mentioned, but there is no exploration of these benefits or a counter-argument presented. This oversight limits the depth of the analysis.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should include a brief acknowledgment of the benefits of moving, such as exposure to new experiences or opportunities. This could be done in a separate paragraph or as a counterpoint within the main argument, thereby providing a more rounded discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring stability and settling in one place. However, the clarity is somewhat undermined by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "settlling in one location we will feel comfortable." These issues can distract the reader and obscure the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should focus on sentence structure and grammar. Using clearer transitions between points and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help maintain a consistent position. Additionally, a stronger thesis statement in the introduction could reinforce the main argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas in support of settling in one location, such as comfort, stability, and the impact on children’s education. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with sufficient detail or examples. For instance, the mention of "bad experiences" during house changes lacks specific examples that could illustrate the point more effectively.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific challenges faced when moving could provide a clearer picture of the drawbacks of frequent relocations. Additionally, integrating statistics or studies related to stability and education could lend credibility to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of remaining in one location. However, there are moments where the writing veers into vague statements, such as "this is so tired," which detracts from the overall focus and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid vague language and ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the argument. Revising sentences for clarity and precision will help keep the essay on topic and enhance its overall coherence.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim to address all parts of the prompt more comprehensively, maintain clarity and consistency in their position, provide more detailed support for their ideas, and ensure that the writing remains focused and relevant throughout. Additionally, paying attention to grammar and sentence structure will significantly enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, advocating for settling in one location. The ideas are sequenced logically, starting with the comfort and stability of a fixed location, followed by the impact on children’s education, and concluding with the benefits of community support. However, transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing personal comfort to the impact on children’s education lacks a clear linking phrase, which could confuse readers about the relationship between the two ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "Moreover," "In addition," or "Furthermore" to connect ideas more explicitly. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help guide the reader through your argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but the structure could be improved. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, which is good; however, the first paragraph is overly long and combines multiple ideas without clear separation. This can overwhelm the reader and dilute the focus of the argument.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer paragraphing by ensuring that each paragraph contains one main idea. For instance, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on personal comfort and stability, and another on the challenges of moving. This would make the essay easier to read and understand.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," which help to organize the points. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, phrases like "This is so tired" could be better connected to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the inconvenience of moving and the emotional toll it takes.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "For example," "Consequently," and "On the other hand." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of saying "This is so tired," consider rephrasing to "This can be exhausting," which maintains the flow while improving clarity.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective word choices such as "comfortable," "stable," and "benefits." However, there are instances of repetitive language, such as the frequent use of "houses" and "change," which limits the lexical variety. Additionally, phrases like "bad experiences" and "bad thing" are too simplistic and could be replaced with more sophisticated vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "houses," they could use "residences," "homes," or "dwellings." Furthermore, replacing "bad experiences" with "unpleasant experiences" or "negative encounters" would elevate the language quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the way we change houses" is awkward and unclear. Additionally, "transform furnitures" is incorrect as "furniture" is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized. The term "worter" appears to be a misspelling of "worse," which affects clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For instance, they could revise "the way we change houses" to "the frequency of moving homes." Moreover, ensuring correct noun forms and spellings will enhance clarity—using "furniture" correctly and replacing "worter" with "worse" would be beneficial.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "settlling," "benifits," "furnitures," "clothe," "tired," "worter," and "neighborhoods." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing out vocabulary words and using them in sentences. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch errors. Additionally, reading more English texts can reinforce correct spelling through exposure.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding their vocabulary, using words more precisely, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay primarily employs simple sentence structures, which limits the overall grammatical range. For instance, sentences like "We can not change to many houses" and "This is so tired" reflect a basic structure. While there are a few compound sentences, such as "Firstly, settling in one location we will feel comfortable, stable if we find a place which environment is good," they often lack complexity and clarity. The use of phrases like "the way we change houses can affect the studying at school" indicates an attempt at more complex ideas, but the execution is flawed.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "We can not change to many houses," you might say, "If we frequently change houses, we may struggle to establish a sense of belonging." Additionally, using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can create a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "settle in one location" should be "settling in one location," and "benifits" is a misspelling of "benefits." The phrase "the way we change houses can affect the studying at school" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. Additionally, punctuation is often missing or misused, such as in "In recent, many people believe settle in one location for their live," where a clearer structure and the correct form of "life" is needed.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. For instance, ensure that verbs match the subjects in number and tense (e.g., "some families have children" instead of "some family have children"). Additionally, practice using punctuation correctly, particularly commas and periods, to clarify sentence boundaries and improve readability. Reading more complex texts can also help in understanding proper grammar and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear opinion, it lacks the necessary grammatical range and accuracy to achieve a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, many individuals believe that settling in one location for their lives is beneficial, while others argue that moving to different places offers more advantages. Personally, I strongly agree with remaining in one place for an extended period based on several key reasons that I will explain in this essay.

Firstly, by settling in one location, we will feel comfortable and stable if we find an environment that is conducive to our needs. We cannot change houses frequently, rearranging furniture, packing clothes, and then purchasing new items again. This is extremely tiresome. For instance, I have had many negative experiences with changing houses while I was studying at university, which was a challenging aspect of my life, as I often had to move to a new house every three months.

Secondly, for families with children, the frequent changes in residences can impact their academic performance at school. Children need to meet new friends and adapt to different environments and educational systems, which can lead to lower scores in their studies. Therefore, it would be better if we did not change houses frequently.

Finally, being in a stable neighborhood can provide support when we encounter problems. When we stay in one place for a long time, we get to know our neighbors well, creating a good community. They can assist us in times of need, which is invaluable during difficult situations.

To summarize, settling in one location for our lives offers many benefits, including stability, a positive impact on children’s education, and strong connections with neighbors who can help us when we face challenges.