Ambition is a positive for people to have in many societies today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

These days, being ambitious plays an important role in individuals’ life in order to have success in the future. This essay will discuss how ambition quality has great impacts on people’s success and argue that each person should develop ambitious trait because of its benefits.

On the one hand, there are plenty of reasons why ambition is an essential factor for people who want success. To begin with, one common explanation is that people would be motivated easily. When one person has a determined belief, they tend to raise trust in themselves in any circumstances, thereby stepping out of their comfort zone. Take Barack Obama, a former president of the American as an example of an ambitious person. With his efforts, Obama tried to secure the future prosperity of the African Americas since his first day in office. Thus, he was successfully normalize black excellence and justify the faith of the Americas. In addition, another point which helps people find the statement convincing is that it allows them to devote greater effort to their pursuits. An ambitious one has clear and demanding goals which may be easier to fulfil their dreams.

On the other hand, ambition is generally a positive characteristic with some plus points. Firstly, it is commonly acknowledged that it can increase higher productivity and success rate in the society. Individuals with ambition tend to find best ways to get outcomes for themselves; therefore, the unemployment rate would be reduced significantly and expand work opportunity for employees. Secondly, another advantage is that goal and improvement of people could be increased. Each person starts making the most of their time for self -care in order to achieve their goals. As a result, ambitious is one way to help individuals to be aware of what they want to improve it in the future.

To sum up, ambition is one of the most important traits that people should have to be successful. However, people had to control it wisely and properly to take advantage of this trait in their life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"These days" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "These days."
"plays an important role in individuals’ life" -> "plays a crucial role in individual lives"
Explanation: "Individual lives" is grammatically correct and more formal than "individual’s life," which is singular and less appropriate in this context.
"in order to have success" -> "to achieve success"
Explanation: "To achieve success" is a more direct and formal way to express the purpose of ambition, avoiding the awkward phrasing of "in order to have success."
"ambition quality" -> "ambition"
Explanation: "Ambition" is the correct noun form; "quality" is redundant and incorrectly used here.
"has great impacts" -> "has significant impacts"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and academically appropriate adjective than "great," which is vague and informal.
"each person should develop ambitious trait" -> "each individual should cultivate an ambitious mindset"
Explanation: "Cultivate an ambitious mindset" is a more precise and formal way to describe the development of ambition, replacing the less formal "develop ambitious trait."
"people would be motivated easily" -> "people are easily motivated"
Explanation: "Are easily motivated" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances the formality of the statement.
"determined belief" -> "firm conviction"
Explanation: "Firm conviction" is a more precise and formal term than "determined belief," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"raise trust in themselves" -> "boost their confidence"
Explanation: "Boost their confidence" is a more precise and commonly used phrase in formal writing than "raise trust in themselves."
"step out of their comfort zone" -> "venture beyond their comfort zones"
Explanation: "Venture beyond their comfort zones" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic contexts.
"justify the faith of the Americas" -> "validate the faith of Americans"
Explanation: "Validate the faith of Americans" corrects the awkward and incorrect phrase "justify the faith of the Americas," which is grammatically and contextually inappropriate.
"find the statement convincing" -> "find this argument persuasive"
Explanation: "Find this argument persuasive" is more specific and academically appropriate than "find the statement convincing," which is vague and informal.
"it can increase higher productivity and success rate" -> "it can enhance productivity and success rates"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise than "increase," and "success rates" is grammatically correct, unlike "success rate."
"find best ways to get outcomes" -> "identify the most effective strategies to achieve outcomes"
Explanation: "Identify the most effective strategies to achieve outcomes" is more formal and precise than "find best ways to get outcomes."
"goal and improvement of people could be increased" -> "goals and personal improvements can be enhanced"
Explanation: "Goals and personal improvements can be enhanced" corrects the awkward and grammatically incorrect original phrase, improving clarity and formality.
"ambitious is one way to help individuals to be aware of what they want to improve it in the future" -> "ambition is one means by which individuals can become aware of what they wish to improve in the future"
Explanation: This revision corrects grammatical errors and enhances the formality of the sentence, making it more suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of ambition for success and its positive characteristics. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and both sides of the argument are explored. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection to the second part of the question regarding whether ambition is a positive or negative characteristic. The mention of potential negatives is minimal, which may leave the reader wanting a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a more thorough exploration of the potential downsides of ambition. This could involve discussing situations where ambition might lead to negative outcomes, such as burnout or unethical behavior, thereby providing a more nuanced perspective.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that ambition is essential for success, which is evident in the thesis statement and throughout the body paragraphs. However, the position could be strengthened by consistently reinforcing how ambition positively influences various aspects of life, especially in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should reiterate the benefits of ambition in each paragraph, linking back to the thesis. Additionally, a more definitive statement in the conclusion that summarizes the main arguments would reinforce the essay’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the notion that ambition is beneficial, such as increased motivation and productivity. However, some points lack depth and specific examples. For instance, while Barack Obama is mentioned, the analysis of his ambition could be more detailed to illustrate how it specifically contributed to his success.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include more specific examples and evidence for each claim. Expanding on how ambition leads to success through real-life scenarios or statistical data would strengthen the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on ambition and its role in success. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague, particularly in the second body paragraph where the connection between ambition and societal benefits could be clearer.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point directly relates back to the main question. Using topic sentences that clearly outline how each paragraph ties back to the importance of ambition would enhance coherence and clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of ambition’s characteristics, deeper elaboration of ideas, and stronger connections to the essay prompt throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of ambition, contributing to the overall argument. For instance, the first paragraph focuses on the positive impacts of ambition on motivation and effort, while the second paragraph discusses its broader societal benefits. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother, as the connection between personal ambition and societal impact is not explicitly stated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider adding transitional phrases that explicitly link the ideas between paragraphs. For example, a sentence at the end of the first paragraph could summarize the personal benefits of ambition before introducing the societal implications in the second paragraph. This would create a more cohesive flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph is focused and contains relevant examples, such as the reference to Barack Obama in the first paragraph. However, the second paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline the main point of the paragraph. The phrase "ambition is generally a positive characteristic with some plus points" is somewhat vague and could be more specific.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea. For instance, instead of the vague introduction to the second paragraph, a more specific topic sentence could be: "Ambition not only benefits individuals but also contributes positively to society by enhancing productivity and reducing unemployment." This will provide clearer guidance for the reader and reinforce the paragraph’s focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "to begin with," and "in addition," which help to structure the argument and guide the reader through the points being made. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, phrases like "firstly" and "secondly" are used, but the essay could benefit from a broader range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "firstly" and "secondly," you could use "another key point" or "equally important." Additionally, using phrases that indicate contrast or comparison, such as "in contrast" or "similarly," could help to create a more dynamic and engaging essay structure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing transitions between paragraphs, refining topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "ambitious," "prosperity," and "productivity." However, the use of phrases like "ambitious quality" and "ambitious trait" is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. The phrase "great impacts" is also vague and could be expressed more precisely.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "ambitious," you could use terms like "aspirational," "driven," or "goal-oriented." Additionally, instead of "great impacts," you could say "significant effects" or "profound influences."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "normalize black excellence" is unclear in the context provided, and "the African Americas" should be "African Americans." The phrase "the unemployment rate would be reduced significantly" lacks clarity regarding how ambition directly influences unemployment.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and specificity in word choice. For example, clarify the context of "normalize black excellence" by explaining its relevance to ambition. Instead of saying "the unemployment rate would be reduced significantly," you could specify how ambition leads to job creation or personal initiative in seeking employment.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "the African Americas" (should be "African Americans") and "ambitious is one way" (should be "ambition is one way"). There are also minor errors like "self -care" (should be "self-care") and "justify the faith of the Americas" (which is awkwardly phrased).
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to read through the essay carefully, checking for spelling and grammatical errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help catch mistakes before submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, enhancing vocabulary variety, precision, and spelling accuracy will help elevate the Lexical Resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "To begin with, one common explanation is that people would be motivated easily" showcases a complex structure with an introductory phrase. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. Phrases like "ambition is generally a positive characteristic with some plus points" could be rephrased to enhance complexity and engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "ambition is generally a positive characteristic," you could say, "While ambition is often viewed as a positive characteristic, it can also lead to negative consequences if not managed properly." Additionally, using varied sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases or participial clauses) can enhance the flow and interest of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "the African Americas" should be "African Americans," and "ambitious trait" should be "ambitious traits." Additionally, the phrase "the unemployment rate would be reduced significantly and expand work opportunity for employees" lacks parallel structure, which can confuse readers. Punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of commas and spacing issues (e.g., "self -care"), also appear throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper noun usage. Focus on ensuring that phrases are correctly structured and that parallelism is maintained in lists or comparisons. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses correctly and ensure there are no unnecessary spaces. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for more polished writing.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

These days, being ambitious plays a crucial role in individuals’ lives in order to achieve success in the future. This essay will discuss how the quality of ambition has significant impacts on people’s success and argue that each person should cultivate an ambitious mindset because of its benefits.

On the one hand, there are numerous reasons why ambition is an essential factor for people who desire success. To begin with, one common explanation is that ambitious individuals are easily motivated. When a person has a firm conviction, they tend to boost their confidence in any circumstances, thereby venturing beyond their comfort zones. Take Barack Obama, a former president of America, as an example of an ambitious person. With his efforts, Obama sought to secure the future prosperity of African Americans from his first day in office. Thus, he successfully normalized black excellence and validated the faith of Americans. In addition, another point that helps people find this argument persuasive is that ambition allows them to devote greater effort to their pursuits. An ambitious person has clear and demanding goals, which may make it easier for them to fulfill their dreams.

On the other hand, ambition is generally a positive characteristic with several advantages. Firstly, it is commonly acknowledged that it can enhance productivity and success rates in society. Individuals with ambition tend to identify the most effective strategies to achieve outcomes for themselves; therefore, the unemployment rate could be significantly reduced, expanding work opportunities for employees. Secondly, another advantage is that goals and personal improvements can be enhanced. Each person begins to make the most of their time for self-care in order to achieve their goals. As a result, ambition is one means by which individuals can become aware of what they wish to improve in the future.

To sum up, ambition is one of the most important traits that people should possess to be successful. However, individuals must control it wisely and properly to take full advantage of this trait in their lives.