Some people say that citizens should be given freedom to express their personal opinions and concerns about the social problems on the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advancement of technology has given rise to the Internet, providing a platform not just for receiving information, but also for expressing thoughts and opinions. This progression has led to a widespread belief that individuals should have the liberty to voice their views on current social matters in this virtual space. In my stance, I support this idea.
First and foremost, my rationale for advocating for the free exchange of ideas on the internet is its ability to effectively communicate the needs and concerns of citizens to their governments. In the past, expressing opinions on social issues faced various obstacles, including limited resources and inadequate channels for outreach. Today, a simple social media post can amplify voices, allowing individuals to bring their concerns to the forefront and reach a wide audience. This capability compels governments to address pressing issues more swiftly and transparently.
On the contrary, some argue that unrestricted content on the internet may lead to serious misunderstandings, suggesting the need for regulations. However, this viewpoint is flawed. It is important to recognize that internet users are not a homogeneous group of individuals lacking education or critical thinking skills. Many people can discern credible information from misinformation and engage in constructive dialogue.
In conclusion, I reiterate my perspective that individuals should be given freedom to share information online, considering the arguments presented above.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In my stance" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "In my stance" is less formal and slightly awkward in this context. "From my perspective" is more appropriate for academic writing, providing a clearer and more formal introduction to the author’s viewpoint.
"First and foremost" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is slightly informal and conversational. "Firstly" is a more formal transitional phrase suitable for academic writing.
"my rationale for advocating" -> "my justification for supporting"
Explanation: "My rationale for advocating" is correct but can be enhanced for formality. "My justification for supporting" maintains the same meaning but sounds more formal and precise.
"expressing opinions on social issues faced various obstacles" -> "expressing opinions on social issues encountered various obstacles"
Explanation: "faced" is correct but "encountered" is more precise in this context, suggesting a direct experience or encounter with obstacles.
"a simple social media post" -> "a single social media post"
Explanation: "a simple" is vague and informal; "a single" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the singular instance of a post.
"allowing individuals to bring their concerns to the forefront" -> "enabling individuals to bring their concerns to the forefront"
Explanation: "allowing" is correct but "enabling" is more formal and fits better in an academic context, emphasizing the capacity or ability to facilitate action.
"On the contrary" -> "On the other hand"
Explanation: "On the contrary" can be seen as slightly informal and less precise. "On the other hand" is a more neutral and academically appropriate transitional phrase.
"unrestricted content" -> "unregulated content"
Explanation: "unrestricted" can imply a lack of rules or guidelines, which might not be the intended meaning. "Unregulated" specifically refers to the absence of government oversight or control, which is more precise in this context.
"suggesting the need for regulations" -> "indicating the need for regulation"
Explanation: "suggesting" is less direct and formal than "indicating," which is more assertive and suitable for academic writing.
"internet users are not a homogeneous group of individuals lacking education or critical thinking skills" -> "internet users are not a homogeneous group, comprising individuals with varying levels of education and critical thinking skills"
Explanation: The original phrase is overly simplistic and informal. The revised version is more precise and formal, avoiding the negative connotation of "lacking" and emphasizing the diversity of internet users.
"engage in constructive dialogue" -> "participate in constructive dialogue"
Explanation: "engage in" is correct but "participate in" is more formal and commonly used in academic texts to describe involvement in discussions or activities.
"I reiterate my perspective" -> "I reaffirm my perspective"
Explanation: "reiterate" can imply repetition without change, whereas "reaffirm" suggests a confirmation or strengthening of the original perspective, which is more appropriate in this concluding context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating a clear position in favor of freedom of expression on the Internet. However, it does not fully explore the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. The essay mentions opposing views but fails to engage with them in depth, which is crucial for a comprehensive response. For instance, while it acknowledges the argument for regulation, it does not sufficiently explore the implications of this viewpoint or counter it with substantial evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should explicitly state the extent of their agreement or disagreement. This could involve discussing specific scenarios where freedom of expression is beneficial versus when it might lead to negative consequences. Including a balanced view that weighs both sides more thoroughly would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of freedom of expression. However, the position could be more consistently articulated throughout the essay. For example, the transition from supporting views to addressing counterarguments is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, the author should use clear transitional phrases that reinforce their position when introducing counterarguments. Additionally, reiterating the main thesis in the conclusion could help solidify the author’s stance throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas effectively, such as the ability of the Internet to amplify voices. However, the development of these ideas is limited. The author provides one main supporting point but does not extend it with further examples or evidence, which would enhance the argument’s persuasiveness. For instance, citing specific instances where online expression led to social change could provide stronger support.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should include more examples and elaboration. Each main point should be followed by specific evidence or real-world examples that illustrate the argument. This would not only strengthen the essay but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the freedom of expression on the Internet. However, the discussion of counterarguments could lead to some deviation from the main topic. The mention of critical thinking skills among users, while relevant, does not directly address the implications of unrestricted content on the Internet.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central question of the extent of agreement or disagreement with the prompt. It may be beneficial to explicitly connect each point back to the main argument, reinforcing relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the author should aim to provide a more balanced exploration of the topic, support their ideas with concrete examples, and maintain a consistent and clear position throughout the essay. Additionally, addressing the word count issue is crucial, as being under the required word count can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the context by discussing the role of the Internet in expressing opinions, followed by a well-structured argument supporting the freedom of expression. The transition from the first supporting point about communication needs to the counterargument is smooth, demonstrating a clear logical flow. However, the conclusion could have been more robust by summarizing the key points more explicitly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider explicitly linking each paragraph back to the main thesis in the conclusion. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" could help in connecting ideas more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the second presents a supporting argument, and the third addresses a counterargument. However, the final paragraph could have been more developed to reinforce the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph not only introduces a new idea but also includes a concluding sentence that ties back to the thesis. This will reinforce the connection between the paragraphs and the main argument, providing a more cohesive structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "on the contrary," and "however," which help in guiding the reader through the argument. These devices effectively signal shifts in thought and contrast between ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to enhance fluency.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases, such as "for instance," "consequently," or "in addition." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on enhancing the conclusion, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms like "advancement," "liberty," "amplify," and "constructive dialogue" effectively employed to convey nuanced meanings. The use of phrases such as "widespread belief" and "pressing issues" showcases the writer’s ability to articulate complex ideas clearly. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are moments where more sophisticated synonyms or expressions could enhance the essay’s overall impact.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range further, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary or idiomatic expressions. For instance, instead of "simple social media post," you might use "concise digital communication" to convey the same idea with a more sophisticated tone. Additionally, exploring synonyms for common words can add depth; for example, using "articulate" instead of "express" could enhance the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "effectively communicate" and "recognize that internet users are not a homogeneous group" demonstrating precise usage. However, there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise. For example, the phrase "serious misunderstandings" could be interpreted in various ways, potentially leading to ambiguity about the specific issues being referenced.
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on clarifying terms that may have multiple interpretations. Instead of "serious misunderstandings," consider specifying the type of misunderstandings, such as "misinterpretations of factual information" or "misconceptions regarding social issues." This will provide clarity and enhance the argument’s strength.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "advancement," "liberty," and "constructive" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is already strong, maintaining this level of accuracy is essential. To further ensure spelling correctness, consider implementing a final proofreading stage before submission. Reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked errors or typos, and using spell-check tools can also be beneficial in identifying potential mistakes.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring clarity in word choice, the writer can enhance the quality of their writing even further. Maintaining spelling accuracy through careful proofreading will also support the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "In the past, expressing opinions on social issues faced various obstacles, including limited resources and inadequate channels for outreach." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine clauses effectively. Additionally, the essay includes conditional structures, such as "if individuals are allowed to express their opinions freely," which adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the introductory and concluding sentences, which could benefit from more variation.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer should experiment with different types of sentences, such as compound-complex sentences or varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In my stance," the writer could begin with a dependent clause or an introductory phrase to create a more engaging flow. Incorporating rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences could also add variety and interest to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the phrase "This capability compels governments to address pressing issues more swiftly and transparently" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "including limited resources and inadequate channels for outreach," which could enhance clarity. Additionally, the phrase "my rationale for advocating for the free exchange of ideas on the internet is its ability to effectively communicate" could be more concise.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in lists and before conjunctions in complex sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls, such as comma splices and run-on sentences, could also be beneficial. Furthermore, revising sentences for conciseness can enhance clarity; for example, rephrasing "my rationale for advocating for the free exchange of ideas on the internet is its ability to effectively communicate" to "I advocate for the free exchange of ideas on the internet because it effectively communicates" would streamline the expression.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Firstly**, my justification for supporting the free exchange of ideas on the internet is its ability to effectively communicate the needs and concerns of citizens to their governments. In the past, expressing opinions on social issues encountered various obstacles, including limited resources and inadequate channels for outreach. Today, **a single social media post** can amplify voices, enabling individuals to bring their concerns to the forefront and reach a wide audience. This capability compels governments to address pressing issues more swiftly and transparently.

**On the other hand**, some argue that unregulated content on the internet may lead to serious misunderstandings, indicating the need for regulation. However, this viewpoint is flawed. It is important to recognize that internet users are not a homogeneous group, comprising individuals with varying levels of education and critical thinking skills. Many people can discern credible information from misinformation and participate in constructive dialogue.

In conclusion, **I reaffirm my perspective** that individuals should be given the freedom to share information online, considering the arguments presented above.