Advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. It is a positive or negative development?

It is widely acknowledge that commercials are becoming more and more popular in our daily life. In my perspective, I genuinely think that this is a positive development.

Admittedly, the drawbacks of the trend towards wide-speard advertisement indeed evident. Chief of these is the annoyance its brings to people’s watching experiment. Commercials can be disruptive and annoying, especially in digital spaces. For example, many people claim that when they were watching something really exciting but their mood got cut off because of the ads pop up and interrupt their experiences. However, this line of reasoning is now flawed since this irritation only shows up for a few seconds and you can turn it off easily. Or instead, you could download ads prevention apps and then no more commercial can cut in.

Despite the negative mentioned above, I insist that the increasingly prevalence of advertisments in everday life is a welcome development for many reasons. The key benefit is that country’s economic could be boosted. Many companies, organizations now use advertising as their main marketing strategy. By introducing products to people could help brands not only raise their sales but also the brand awareness among people. Furthermore, ads helps spreading meaningful messages to people. In this fast-paced living generation, public services advertisements raise awareness about important issues such as health, environmental protection, and safety, encouraging positive behavior and social change.

In conclusion, although advertising can sometime be annoyed to users, I consider the frequent presence of advertising in our daily life to be a positive development overall since it offers many benefits for our economic and society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is widely acknowledge" -> "It is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: The verb "acknowledge" should be in the past participle form "acknowledged" to agree with the passive construction "is."
"In my perspective" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is the correct idiomatic expression, enhancing the formal tone and clarity of the sentence.
"wide-speard" -> "widespread"
Explanation: "Wide-speard" is a typographical error; "widespread" is the correct term, meaning widely spread or prevalent.
"the annoyance its brings" -> "the annoyance it brings"
Explanation: Correcting the possessive pronoun "its" to "it" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"watching experiment" -> "viewing experience"
Explanation: "Experiment" is incorrectly used here; "experience" is the correct term to describe the act of watching something.
"pop up" -> "appear"
Explanation: "Pop up" is informal and colloquial; "appear" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"you can turn it off easily" -> "it can be easily turned off"
Explanation: Changing the structure to a passive voice improves the formality and flow of the sentence.
"Or instead, you could download ads prevention apps" -> "Alternatively, you could download ad-blocking apps"
Explanation: "Ads prevention" is not a standard term; "ad-blocking" is the correct term, and "Alternatively" is a more formal transition than "Or instead."
"country’s economic" -> "a country’s economy"
Explanation: "Country’s economic" is grammatically incorrect; "a country’s economy" is the correct phrase.
"By introducing products to people could help" -> "By introducing products to the public, it could help"
Explanation: Adding "the public" clarifies the subject, and the comma after "public" improves readability and grammatical structure.
"ads helps" -> "ads help"
Explanation: "Ads" is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized; "help" is the correct verb form.
"In this fast-paced living generation" -> "In this fast-paced modern generation"
Explanation: "Living" is incorrectly used; "modern" is the correct adjective to describe the generation.
"sometime" -> "sometimes"
Explanation: "Sometime" is a noun; "sometimes" is the correct adverb form needed here.
"could sometime be annoyed" -> "can sometimes be annoying"
Explanation: "Could sometime" is grammatically incorrect; "can sometimes" is correct, and "annoying" should be used as an adjective to describe the commercials.
"I consider the frequent presence of advertising" -> "I consider the frequent presence of advertisements"
Explanation: "Advertising" is a noun and should be pluralized to match the context of multiple instances.

These changes enhance the formal tone, correct grammatical errors, and improve the clarity and precision of the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising. The writer acknowledges the drawbacks of advertising, such as annoyance and disruption, before firmly stating their position that advertising is ultimately a positive development. This balanced approach demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue. However, the discussion of negative aspects could be more developed to provide a clearer contrast to the positives.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples of the negative impacts of advertising, such as its potential to mislead consumers or contribute to consumerism. This would create a more nuanced argument and strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position that advertising is a positive development, which is evident from the beginning of the essay. However, the transition between acknowledging the negatives and asserting the positives could be smoother. The phrase "this line of reasoning is now flawed" may cause confusion regarding the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should use transitional phrases that reinforce their position, such as "Despite these drawbacks, I believe…" This would help maintain a consistent and clear argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the positive aspects of advertising, such as economic benefits and the dissemination of important messages. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration. For instance, the mention of public service advertisements could be expanded with specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, citing a specific public service campaign that successfully raised awareness about health or environmental issues would enhance the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay remains focused on the topic of advertising and its implications. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more concise. The phrase "this irritation only shows up for a few seconds and you can turn it off easily" may detract from the main argument by focusing too much on the negative aspect without reinforcing the positive.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid digressing into less relevant details. Instead, they could briefly acknowledge the negatives and quickly transition back to discussing the benefits of advertising, ensuring that every point made directly supports their overall argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a clear position, it could benefit from more detailed examples, smoother transitions, and a tighter focus on the main argument. By addressing these areas, the writer could potentially elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that advertising is a positive development, supported by both acknowledgment of its drawbacks and a discussion of its benefits. However, the organization could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the drawbacks to the benefits is somewhat abrupt. The second paragraph focuses on the negatives without a clear segue into the positives, which can confuse the reader about the overall structure of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing the drawbacks, a phrase like "Despite these concerns, there are significant advantages to consider" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help clarify the main ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be strengthened. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s stance, while the second paragraph discusses drawbacks. However, the third paragraph, which discusses benefits, could be better organized to clearly delineate different points.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. For example, the benefits of advertising could be split into two separate paragraphs: one discussing economic benefits and another addressing social benefits. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each point and improve clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly" and "Despite the negative mentioned above," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "this line of reasoning is now flawed" lacks a clear connection to the previous argument about annoyance.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," and "On the other hand." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device used clearly relates to the preceding or following statement to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of saying "this line of reasoning is now flawed," you could clarify the connection by saying, "While some may argue that the annoyance is significant, it is important to recognize that…"

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving the logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and enhancing the use of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "commercials," "advertisement," "economic," and "awareness." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variety, such as the frequent use of "advertising" and "commercials." The phrase "more and more" is also overused, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "advertising," alternatives like "promotions," "marketing," or "publicity" could be employed. Additionally, varying phrases such as "increasingly common" or "growing presence" could replace "more and more" to avoid redundancy.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the annoyance its brings to people’s watching experiment" contains a typographical error ("its" should be "it") and the term "watching experiment" is awkward and unclear. The phrase "ads prevention apps" is also imprecise; it would be clearer to refer to "ad-blocking apps."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. For example, replace "watching experiment" with "viewing experience" for clarity. Additionally, ensure that possessive forms are correctly used, as in "the annoyance it brings." Regularly reviewing vocabulary in context can help improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "acknowledge" (should be "acknowledged"), "wide-speard" (should be "widespread"), "advertisments" (should be "advertisements"), and "everday" (should be "everyday"). These errors can detract from the overall quality of the writing and may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, practice writing and proofreading essays. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, improvements can be made in the areas of range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these aspects will enhance the overall effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Despite the negative mentioned above, I insist that the increasingly prevalence of advertisments in everday life is a welcome development for many reasons" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys the writer’s argument. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Many people claim that…" or "I consider that…", the writer could use phrases like "Although many people claim that…" or "While some argue that…". Additionally, experimenting with passive voice or inversion could add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, "the drawbacks of the trend towards wide-speard advertisement indeed evident" is missing a verb ("are") and contains a spelling error ("wide-speard" should be "widespread"). Additionally, the phrase "its brings to people’s watching experiment" should be corrected to "it brings to people’s watching experience." Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing commas that could improve readability, particularly in complex sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrases and grammatical mistakes. Furthermore, practicing with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls, such as verb tenses and plural forms, can enhance overall accuracy. For punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding comma usage, especially in compound and complex sentences, to ensure clarity and coherence.

By addressing these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely acknowledged that commercials are becoming increasingly prevalent in our daily lives. From my perspective, I genuinely believe that this is a positive development.

Admittedly, the drawbacks of the trend towards widespread advertising are indeed evident. Chief among these is the annoyance it brings to people’s viewing experience. Commercials can be disruptive and irritating, especially in digital spaces. For example, many people claim that when they are watching something truly exciting, their mood can be abruptly interrupted by ads that pop up and disrupt their experience. However, this line of reasoning is somewhat flawed, as this irritation only lasts for a few seconds, and it can be easily turned off. Alternatively, you could download ad-blocking apps, which would prevent commercials from interrupting your viewing.

Despite the negatives mentioned above, I maintain that the increasing prevalence of advertisements in everyday life is a welcome development for several reasons. The key benefit is that a country’s economy could be boosted. Many companies and organizations now use advertising as their primary marketing strategy. By introducing products to the public, it could help brands not only raise their sales but also enhance brand awareness among consumers. Furthermore, ads help spread meaningful messages to the public. In this fast-paced modern generation, public service advertisements raise awareness about important issues such as health, environmental protection, and safety, encouraging positive behavior and social change.

In conclusion, although advertising can sometimes be annoying to users, I consider the frequent presence of advertisements in our daily lives to be a positive development overall, as it offers numerous benefits for our economy and society.