Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that
advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has become far more normal that advertising is appearing in everyday life . Some people belive that advertisement is significantly beneficial on our lives . While it is irrefutable that advertising has some advantages ,I partly agree that this view.
On the one hand , adverting bring positive sides in some fields . The first advange is that it creates a high number of occupations for job seekers who want to work in advertising fields . In fact , an company which specializes in advertisement contains several areas such as : marketing , designers and content creators . Therefore , with the development of advertising , workers would find it easier to have a position in life . In addition , the customers also benefit froms advertisement . In fact , a high number of advertisement will ensure that a wide variety of brands appeared to meet the demands of customers. As a result , individuals could have more choice to select which product is better.
However , there are also some drawbacks in term of advertising . Firstly , several brands would not tell the truth about the real quality of product to make profit for them . It could lead to the dissatisfaction of customers because of the untruthful advertisement . Furthermore , too much advertisement will significantly disturb people . For instance , people watching youtube or other social medias often claimed that they are disturbed by high number of advertising on the screen . Therefore , it will decrease the enjoyment of customers on the advertising products .
In conclusion , While advertising significantly create jobs and vary the products , it stills tell the unreliable things on the products and disturb the customers .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"normal" -> "common"
Explanation: "Normal" is a more informal term. "Common" is more suitable for academic writing.
"belive" -> "believe"
Explanation: Correcting a typographical error.
"significant beneficial on our lives" -> "significantly beneficial to our lives"
Explanation: The preposition "to" is more appropriate after "beneficial," and "our lives" is more idiomatic than "on our lives."
"it is irrefutable that advertising has some advantages" -> "while it is undeniable that advertising has some advantages"
Explanation: "Irrefutable" is too strong in this context. "Undeniable" is more appropriate. Also, "while" is used to introduce a contrasting point, which is clearer in this context.
"I partly agree that this view" -> "I partially agree with this view"
Explanation: "Partly" should be replaced with "partially" for better formality. Additionally, "with" is more appropriate than "that" after "agree."
"The first advange is that it creates a high number of occupations" -> "The primary advantage is that it creates numerous job opportunities"
Explanation: "Advantage" should be spelled correctly. "High number of occupations" can be replaced with "numerous job opportunities" for better clarity and formality.
"In fact, an company which specializes in advertisement contains several areas such as: marketing, designers and content creators" -> "In fact, a company specializing in advertising encompasses various areas, including marketing, design, and content creation."
Explanation: "An company" should be corrected to "a company." Also, the structure of the sentence can be improved for better flow and clarity.
"workers would find it easier to have a position in life" -> "workers would find it easier to secure employment"
Explanation: "Have a position in life" is too informal. "Secure employment" is a more suitable and formal alternative.
"the customers also benefit froms advertisement" -> "customers also benefit from advertisements"
Explanation: "Froms" should be corrected to "from." Also, "advertisement" should be changed to "advertisements" to maintain proper pluralization.
"a high number of advertisement will ensure that a wide variety of brands appeared to meet the demands of customers" -> "a large number of advertisements ensure a wide variety of brands are available to meet customer demands"
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured. This revision provides a smoother flow and clearer meaning.
"As a result, individuals could have more choice to select which product is better" -> "As a result, individuals have a greater choice in selecting superior products."
Explanation: The use of "could" implies a possibility that is unnecessary here. "Have a greater choice in selecting" is more direct and formal.
"there are also some drawbacks in term of advertising" -> "there are also some drawbacks to advertising"
Explanation: "In term of advertising" is not idiomatic. "To advertising" is a more suitable prepositional phrase.
"Firstly, several brands would not tell the truth about the real quality of product to make profit for them" -> "Firstly, several brands may misrepresent the quality of their products to maximize profits"
Explanation: "Would not tell the truth" is too direct and accusatory. "May misrepresent" is more neutral. Also, "to make profit for them" can be replaced with "to maximize profits" for better clarity and conciseness.
"disturb people" -> "disturb people’s viewing experience"
Explanation: Adding "viewing experience" clarifies the type of disturbance caused by excessive advertising.
"they are disturbed by high number of advertising on the screen" -> "they are disturbed by the high volume of advertisements on the screen"
Explanation: "High number of advertising" should be corrected to "high volume of advertisements" for better expression.
"it will decrease the enjoyment of customers on the advertising products" -> "it will diminish customers’ enjoyment of the advertised products"
Explanation: "On the advertising products" is unclear. "Diminish customers’ enjoyment of the advertised products" is clearer and more formal.
"While advertising significantly create jobs" -> "While advertising significantly creates jobs"
Explanation: "Create" should be changed to "creates" to match the singular subject "advertising."
"it stills tell the unreliable things on the products" -> "it still conveys unreliable information about the products"
Explanation: "Stills tell" should be corrected to "still conveys." Also, "the unreliable things on the products" should be changed to "unreliable information about the products" for better clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, acknowledging the positive impact of advertising while also mentioning its drawbacks. However, the discussion lacks depth and detailed analysis, particularly in exploring the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. While it touches upon the positive and negative aspects, it fails to fully dissect the nuances of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, it’s essential to thoroughly analyze each aspect of the prompt. This involves not only acknowledging both sides of the argument but also providing a clear stance and supporting it with evidence and reasoning. In this case, the author could elaborate more on their viewpoint and provide specific examples or counterarguments to strengthen their position.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a partially agreeable stance, but the clarity of the position is somewhat obscured by language inconsistencies and lack of coherence. While the author indicates partial agreement, the presentation lacks a strong thesis statement or clear indication of the degree of agreement or disagreement.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, it’s crucial to establish a strong thesis statement early in the essay and reaffirm it throughout. Additionally, using cohesive devices and maintaining consistency in language and tone can help enhance clarity and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks in-depth development and support. While it mentions both advantages and disadvantages of advertising, the discussion remains superficial, with limited elaboration and examples.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should delve deeper into each point, providing specific examples, evidence, and logical reasoning to bolster their arguments. Additionally, extending ideas by providing counterarguments or discussing implications can add depth to the analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the impact of advertising on daily life. However, there are instances where the discussion slightly deviates, such as the brief mention of job opportunities in advertising without direct relevance to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, it’s important to ensure that all points raised directly contribute to the central argument. Avoiding tangential discussions and maintaining a clear link between each idea and the prompt can help improve coherence and relevance.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the prompt and presents relevant points, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, coherence, and clarity of argumentation. By addressing these areas, the author can enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay and potentially achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a particular aspect of the topic, presenting arguments and examples to support the author’s viewpoint. For example, the introduction introduces the topic and the author’s stance, followed by body paragraphs that discuss the advantages and disadvantages of advertising. Finally, the conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the author’s opinion. This logical organization enhances the clarity and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the overall organization is effective, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, providing a clearer progression of thought.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to organize ideas and maintain coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a single point or argument related to the topic of advertising. The paragraphs are adequately developed, with topic sentences that introduce the main idea and supporting details that elaborate on it. For instance, the second paragraph discusses the advantages of advertising in creating job opportunities, while the third paragraph addresses the benefits for consumers in terms of product variety.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by sticking to one main idea. Additionally, consider varying the length of sentences within paragraphs to enhance rhythm and flow, making the essay more engaging to read.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and create coherence. Some cohesive devices, such as conjunctions ("while," "in addition," "furthermore"), pronouns ("it," "they"), and repetition of key terms ("advertising," "products"), are employed to link sentences and paragraphs. For example, the use of "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" effectively signals contrasting points in the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words/phrases ("however," "moreover," "consequently"), synonyms, and parallel structures. Additionally, pay attention to pronoun reference clarity to ensure that pronouns unambiguously refer to their antecedents, avoiding confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, including words like "normal," "beneficial," "irrefutable," "advantages," "drawbacks," "dissatisfaction," and "unreliable." However, there is room for improvement as some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "high number of advertisement").
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating synonyms and more nuanced vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeating "high number of advertisement," you could use phrases like "abundance of advertising" or "proliferation of ads."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, phrases like "high number of occupations" and "wide variety of brands" are somewhat generic. On the other hand, terms like "untruthful advertisement" and "disturb the customers" are more specific.
- How to improve: Focus on using more specific and precise vocabulary throughout the essay. For instance, instead of "high number of occupations," you could use "diverse career opportunities in the advertising sector." This precision adds clarity and depth to your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are some minor errors, such as "belive" (believe), "advange" (advantage), "for them" (for themselves), and "disturb" (disturbed).
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully before submission. Pay close attention to common spelling mistakes and consider using spell-check tools to catch errors. Additionally, reading more can help internalize correct spelling patterns.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of vocabulary use but could benefit from greater variety, precision, and improved spelling accuracy to elevate its lexical resource score further. Keep practicing and incorporating feedback to refine your writing skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures, which limits the sophistication of expression. For example, there is repetition of sentence structures such as "Some people believe that advertising is significantly beneficial" and "It has become far more normal that advertising is appearing in everyday life." Incorporating more complex sentence structures like conditional sentences, relative clauses, or passive voice constructions could enhance the variety and depth of the essay’s expression.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating a wider range of grammatical constructions. Experiment with complex sentences to convey ideas more effectively. For instance, instead of using repetitive sentence structures, try introducing variety by using phrases like "While it is undeniable that advertising offers certain advantages, I am inclined to partially agree with this perspective." Additionally, utilizing advanced grammatical structures like appositives, participial phrases, or parallel structures can enrich the essay’s overall quality and coherence.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are noticeable errors throughout the text that slightly hinder comprehension. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("adverting bring positive sides"), incorrect verb tense usage ("In fact, a high number of advertisement will ensure"), and inconsistent article usage ("an company," "the customers"). Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("In fact," "However,"), affect the clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Reviewing these basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help improve accuracy. Furthermore, carefully proofreading the essay for punctuation errors, especially regarding comma usage in introductory phrases and between independent clauses in compound sentences, is crucial. Consider utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors effectively. Additionally, studying model essays can provide insights into proper grammatical structures and punctuation conventions, aiding in the refinement of writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

It has become increasingly common to see advertising in our daily lives. Some argue that advertising has a positive impact on us. While it is undeniable that advertising offers certain advantages, I partially agree with this view.

On one hand, advertising brings about positive outcomes in various aspects. Firstly, it generates numerous job opportunities for individuals interested in the advertising industry. Typically, advertising companies encompass various departments such as marketing, design, and content creation. Consequently, the expansion of advertising facilitates job seekers in finding employment more easily. Additionally, consumers benefit from advertising as well. A plethora of advertisements ensures a wide array of brands, catering to the diverse needs of customers. Consequently, individuals have a greater selection of products to choose from.

However, there are also drawbacks associated with advertising. Firstly, some brands may not be truthful about the quality of their products, prioritizing profits over honesty. This could lead to customer dissatisfaction due to misleading advertisements. Moreover, excessive advertising can be disruptive. For instance, individuals frequently express annoyance with the abundance of advertisements on platforms like YouTube and other social media. Consequently, this diminishes the enjoyment of consumers regarding advertised products.

In conclusion, although advertising creates employment opportunities and diversifies product offerings, it can also promote dishonesty and disturb consumers.