All children should be made to wear school uniforms. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that school uniforms are mandatory for students in all schools. From my perspective, I partly disagree with this statement because of several reasons.
On the one hand, wearing uniforms in schools has its merits. Firstly, uniforms can promote a sense of equality among students. For instance, if they are allowed to be clothed in various ways, students from wealthy families can wear expensive clothes, leading to some students with low socioeconomic status who are not able to afford such clothes tend to feel embarrassed and might suffer from peer pressure. Therefore, uniforms minimize the socioeconomic differences among students based on clothing, helping reduce the risk of school bullying. Another advantage is uniforms eliminate distractions related to clothing choices. This is because students have to dress uniforms each day instead of selecting a variety of clothes in their wardrobe, leading to students paying more attention to their studies.
Conversly, I disagree with all children dress in the same outfits in schools due to its negative impacts. First of all, uniforms put limitation on the creativity of each student, which means they lose the freedom to pursue their favorite styles. As a result, they cannot express their personal traits and creativity. Addtionally, uniforms bring about financial burden on poor student’s families. Uniforms may be high–priced for some students with low socioeconomic backgrounds. For example, if schools require branded or designer uniforms, the cost may be higher, putting a high level of pressure on such children. Therefore, I believe that forcing children to put on uniforms can lead to financial burden for those who are from poor families.
In conclusion, wearing uniforms can promote a sense of equality and reduce the distractions based on clothing, but all children are forced to wear uniforms bring about drawbacks such as limiting their creativity and financial burden. As a result, I disagree with all children are required to dress school uniforms.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is believed that" -> "It is widely believed that"
Explanation: Adding "widely" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement, indicating a broader consensus among people, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"From my perspective, I partly disagree" -> "I partially disagree"
Explanation: Removing "From my perspective" simplifies the sentence and aligns better with academic style, which tends to avoid unnecessary phrases that can be implied by the context.
"because of several reasons" -> "for several reasons"
Explanation: "For" is more appropriate in formal writing than "because of" when introducing a list of reasons, as it directly links the reasons to the preceding statement.
"wearing uniforms in schools has its merits" -> "the implementation of school uniforms offers several benefits"
Explanation: "The implementation of school uniforms offers several benefits" is more precise and formal, focusing on the action rather than the general concept of wearing uniforms, which enhances clarity and specificity.
"can promote a sense of equality among students" -> "can foster a sense of equality among students"
Explanation: "Foster" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "promote" in this context, suggesting a more deliberate and nurturing action.
"students from wealthy families can wear expensive clothes" -> "students from affluent families may wear expensive attire"
Explanation: "Affluent" is a more precise term than "wealthy," and "attire" is a more formal synonym for "clothes," enhancing the academic tone.
"tend to feel embarrassed" -> "may feel embarrassed"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "tend to" in academic writing, as it indicates possibility rather than tendency, which is more precise and less colloquial.
"Conversly" -> "Conversely"
Explanation: "Conversely" is the correct spelling, correcting a typographical error.
"all children dress in the same outfits" -> "all students wear the same attire"
Explanation: "Wear" is more specific and formal than "dress," and "attire" is preferred over "outfits" in academic contexts to describe clothing in a formal setting.
"put limitation on the creativity" -> "limit the creativity"
Explanation: "Limit" is a more direct and formal verb than "put limitation on," which is awkward and less commonly used in formal writing.
"Addtionally" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error to "Additionally" maintains professionalism and accuracy in the text.
"bring about financial burden on poor student’s families" -> "impose a financial burden on families of students from low-income backgrounds"
Explanation: "Impose a financial burden" is more precise and formal than "bring about financial burden," and specifying "families of students from low-income backgrounds" clarifies the intended meaning.
"forcing children to put on uniforms" -> "requiring students to wear uniforms"
Explanation: "Requiring" is a more formal and precise term than "forcing," and "wear" is more appropriate than "put on" in this context.
"all children are forced to wear uniforms bring about drawbacks" -> "requiring all students to wear uniforms has drawbacks"
Explanation: Revising to "requiring all students to wear uniforms has drawbacks" corrects the grammatical structure and maintains a formal tone, improving clarity and flow.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms, which aligns with the requirement to express a degree of agreement or disagreement. The author states a partial disagreement, providing reasons for both sides. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees, as the prompt specifically asks for this. The phrase "partly disagree" is mentioned, but it lacks depth in illustrating the balance of arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should clearly articulate their position in the introduction and conclusion, perhaps by quantifying their stance (e.g., "I partly agree, believing that while uniforms promote equality, they also stifle creativity"). Additionally, dedicating a paragraph to explicitly discuss the extent of agreement or disagreement would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that is somewhat clear but could be more consistent. The introduction states a partial disagreement, and the body paragraphs provide supporting arguments for both sides. However, the transition between agreeing and disagreeing could be smoother, as the essay sometimes feels like it shifts abruptly between points without reinforcing the author’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should use transitional phrases to guide the reader through their argument. For example, phrases like "While I acknowledge the benefits of uniforms, I believe…" can help clarify the author’s perspective. Reiterating the main position at the beginning of each paragraph can also reinforce the stance taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several relevant ideas, such as promoting equality and reducing distractions, as well as the drawbacks of limiting creativity and imposing financial burdens. However, some points could be extended further. For instance, the argument about financial burdens could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the claim. The essay also lacks a thorough exploration of how these points interrelate.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples or evidence. Incorporating real-life scenarios, studies, or statistics could provide a stronger basis for the arguments. Additionally, linking ideas together to show how they support the overall position would create a more cohesive argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of school uniforms. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the conclusion, which could be clearer in summarizing the main arguments. The phrase "but all children are forced to wear uniforms bring about drawbacks" is awkwardly constructed and could confuse the reader regarding the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument. Revising the conclusion to succinctly summarize the key points and reiterate the author’s stance would help reinforce the topic. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical clarity and coherence will enhance overall focus.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements can be made in articulating the extent of agreement, maintaining a consistent position, elaborating on ideas, and ensuring clarity throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The points are logically ordered, with the advantages of school uniforms discussed first, followed by the disadvantages. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively outlines the benefits of uniforms in promoting equality and reducing distractions. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that signal the shift from one perspective to another. For example, you could introduce the second body paragraph with a phrase like, "On the other hand, there are significant drawbacks to enforcing school uniforms." This would help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the merits of uniforms, while the second addresses the drawbacks. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first body paragraph is more developed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the argument presented.
- How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by ensuring that each point is elaborated with sufficient detail. For instance, in the second paragraph, you could expand on the idea of creativity by providing examples of how students might express themselves through clothing. Additionally, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph, which will help reinforce the structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Another advantage," and "Conversely," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "Therefore" is used effectively to conclude the first body paragraph but could be complemented with more varied devices throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify your use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "In addition," "Moreover," "On the contrary," and "As a result." This will not only enhance the flow of your writing but also demonstrate a greater command of language. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence in your arguments.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, but with some adjustments in logical flow, paragraph balance, and the use of cohesive devices, it could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "mandatory," "socioeconomic status," "peer pressure," and "financial burden." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "students from wealthy families" and "students with low socioeconomic status," which could be varied to enhance the overall lexical richness. Additionally, the use of phrases like "put on uniforms" and "dress uniforms" could be diversified with synonyms or alternative expressions.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "students," alternatives like "pupils," "learners," or "children" could be employed. Additionally, phrases like "wear uniforms" or "attire" could replace "put on uniforms" to avoid redundancy.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "put limitation on the creativity" should be "puts limitations on creativity." The phrase "leading to some students with low socioeconomic status who are not able to afford such clothes tend to feel embarrassed" is convoluted and could be simplified for clarity. The use of "additionally" is misspelled as "addtionally," which detracts from the precision of the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Revising sentences for conciseness can help, such as changing "leading to some students with low socioeconomic status who are not able to afford such clothes tend to feel embarrassed" to "which can cause embarrassment for students from low socioeconomic backgrounds." Additionally, careful proofreading for spelling errors will improve overall precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "addtionally" instead of "additionally" and "Conversly" instead of "Conversely." These errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may affect the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and keeping a list of frequently used vocabulary can help reinforce correct spelling in future essays.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the writer employs complex sentences effectively, such as "For instance, if they are allowed to be clothed in various ways, students from wealthy families can wear expensive clothes, leading to some students with low socioeconomic status who are not able to afford such clothes tend to feel embarrassed and might suffer from peer pressure." This showcases the ability to combine clauses and convey complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "uniforms" as the subject of many sentences, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use passive voice or conditional clauses more frequently. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "uniforms," the writer could begin with phrases like "One significant benefit is…" or "It is important to note that…". Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some grammatical accuracy but also contains several errors that affect clarity and coherence. For example, "Conversly, I disagree with all children dress in the same outfits" should be corrected to "Conversely, I disagree with the idea that all children should dress in the same outfits." This highlights a missing auxiliary verb and incorrect word form. There are also punctuation errors, such as the lack of a comma in "Addtionally, uniforms bring about financial burden on poor student’s families," which should be "Additionally, uniforms bring about a financial burden on poor students’ families." These errors can lead to misunderstandings and disrupt the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect word forms. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help in identifying and correcting awkward phrases. Additionally, focusing on punctuation rules, particularly regarding commas and apostrophes, will enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can provide further insights into areas needing improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that school uniforms are mandatory for students in all schools. From my perspective, I partially disagree with this statement for several reasons.

On the one hand, wearing uniforms in schools has its merits. Firstly, uniforms can foster a sense of equality among students. For instance, if they are allowed to dress in various ways, students from affluent families may wear expensive clothes, leading to some students from low socioeconomic backgrounds feeling embarrassed and suffering from peer pressure. Therefore, uniforms minimize the socioeconomic differences among students based on clothing, helping to reduce the risk of school bullying. Another advantage is that uniforms eliminate distractions related to clothing choices. This is because students have to wear uniforms each day instead of selecting from a variety of clothes in their wardrobe, leading to students paying more attention to their studies.

Conversely, I disagree with requiring all children to dress in the same outfits in schools due to its negative impacts. First of all, uniforms impose limitations on the creativity of each student, which means they lose the freedom to pursue their favorite styles. As a result, they cannot express their personal traits and creativity. Additionally, uniforms can impose a financial burden on families of students from low-income backgrounds. Uniforms may be high-priced for some students with low socioeconomic status. For example, if schools require branded or designer uniforms, the cost may be higher, putting a significant level of pressure on such children. Therefore, I believe that forcing children to wear uniforms can lead to financial burdens for those from poor families.

In conclusion, wearing uniforms can promote a sense of equality and reduce distractions based on clothing, but requiring all children to wear uniforms brings about drawbacks such as limiting their creativity and imposing financial burdens. As a result, I disagree with the idea that all children should be required to dress in school uniforms.