All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many believe that all large businesses should build sports and community facilities for their local communities. While acknowledging the merits of such an idea, I would argue that companies should collaborate with local governments to achieve this goal.

Firstly, providing sports and community facilities can significantly benefit the local residents. Such amenities can promote physical health, foster social interactions, and improve the overall quality of life. For instance, a local sports complex can encourage community members to engage in regular exercise, reducing health issues such as obesity and heart disease. Additionally, facilities like community centers can serve as hubs for social activities, helping to build stronger community bonds. Thus, when companies invest in these types of facilities, they contribute positively to the community's well-being and foster goodwill among local residents.

However, it is essential for large companies to work in partnership with the local government to provide these facilities effectively. Governments have the expertise and infrastructure to manage public amenities, ensuring they are accessible to all community members. For example, a company might build a community center, but the local government can ensure its proper management and maintenance, making it available for various public programs and activities. This collaboration can maximize the benefits of such facilities, ensuring they meet the diverse needs of the community and are maintained to a high standard. By working together, companies and governments can share the financial and logistical burdens, creating sustainable community assets.

In conclusion, while large companies should contribute to the provision of sports and community facilities, it is most effective when done in cooperation with local governments. This partnership ensures that the facilities are well-managed, accessible, and beneficial to the entire community, thereby enhancing the overall impact.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many believe" -> "It is widely believed"
Explanation: "It is widely believed" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a general opinion, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more conversational "Many believe."
"should build" -> "should establish"
Explanation: "Establish" is a more formal and precise term than "build" in this context, implying a more deliberate and planned action, which is more appropriate for an academic discussion.
"sports and community facilities" -> "sports and recreational facilities"
Explanation: "Recreational facilities" is a more specific term that encompasses a broader range of community amenities, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"can significantly benefit" -> "can substantially benefit"
Explanation: "Substantially" is a more formal synonym for "significantly," aligning better with academic style by providing a more precise degree of benefit.
"foster social interactions" -> "promote social interaction"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more direct and formal verb than "foster," and "interaction" is the singular form, which is grammatically correct in this context.
"encourage community members" -> "encourage community engagement"
Explanation: "Community engagement" is a more precise term that encompasses a broader range of activities and interactions, enhancing the academic tone.
"reduce health issues" -> "mitigate health issues"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more formal and precise term than "reduce," which is commonly used in academic writing to describe the lessening of negative effects.
"build stronger community bonds" -> "strengthen community bonds"
Explanation: "Strengthen" is a more formal and direct verb than "build," which is more commonly associated with physical structures.
"contribute positively" -> "contribute positively to"
Explanation: Adding "to" after "contribute positively" clarifies the direction of the contribution, enhancing the sentence structure and formality.
"work in partnership" -> "collaborate"
Explanation: "Collaborate" is a more formal and precise term than "work in partnership," which is slightly less formal and more conversational.
"ensure they are accessible" -> "ensure accessibility"
Explanation: "Ensure accessibility" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea, aligning better with academic style.
"share the financial and logistical burdens" -> "share the financial and logistical responsibilities"
Explanation: "Responsibilities" is a more precise term than "burdens," which can carry a negative connotation, and is more suitable for formal writing.
"creating sustainable community assets" -> "creating sustainable community resources"
Explanation: "Resources" is a more specific and formal term than "assets," which is often used in a financial context, making it less precise in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

**Band Score for Task Response: 8

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different aspects of the argument (benefits, collaboration with government), and a concise conclusion summarizing the main points. Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect related to the prompt, enhancing clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To further improve logical organization, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea. Consider using more explicit linking words or phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different arguments and aspects

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at utilizing a varied vocabulary. For instance, phrases such as "foster social interactions," "infrastructure to manage," and "sustainable community assets" showcase an attempt to convey ideas using different lexical choices.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical range, consider integrating more nuanced synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. For example, instead of "promote physical health," consider phrases like "enhance public well-being" or "boost community health outcomes." This can elevate the sophistication of the language used.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, though there are instances where greater precision could be achieved. For instance, the phrase "reduce health issues such as obesity and heart disease" is effective but could be sharpened with more specific terms like "combat" or "tackle health concerns like."
- How to improve: Aim for exactness in vocabulary choice to avoid generalizations. For example, instead of "promote social activities," consider "facilitate communal engagements" to impart a clearer and more precise meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally sound, with no significant errors observed. Complex words like "collaborate," "community," and "facilities" are spelled correctly throughout.
- How to improve: Maintain this level of accuracy by proofreading carefully for commonly misspelled words and paying attention to word endings and plurals. Consider using spell-check tools to catch any overlooked errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary appropriate for an IELTS Band 6. To achieve higher bands, focus on refining vocabulary precision and expanding the range further, while ensuring consistent accuracy in spelling throughout your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It employs complex sentences (e.g., "While acknowledging the merits of such an idea, I would argue that…"), compound sentences (e.g., "For instance, a local sports complex can encourage…"), and simple sentences effectively throughout the essay. These structures enhance clarity and coherence, contributing to a well-developed argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more conditional sentences (e.g., "If large companies were to directly engage with community feedback…") or inverted sentences for emphasis (e.g., "Not only do these facilities promote physical health, but they also strengthen community ties."). These additions can add nuance and sophistication to the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy with few errors. Sentences are generally well-structured, with effective use of punctuation to aid clarity. For example, commas are appropriately used for listing items and separating clauses, enhancing readability. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement could be tightened (e.g., "companies should collaborate" could be "companies should collaborate") and minor punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas in lists) that slightly detract from an otherwise polished presentation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement throughout the essay. Review each sentence carefully for agreement between subjects and verbs, especially in complex sentences. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation in lists and compound sentences to maintain clarity and correctness. Practice proofreading for these specific aspects to achieve a more flawless presentation.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical structures and punctuation, contributing to its clarity and coherence. By incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the essay could further elevate its effectiveness in conveying complex ideas clearly and convincingly.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many argue that all large businesses should establish sports and community facilities for their local communities. While acknowledging the benefits of this idea, I believe that companies should collaborate with local governments to achieve this goal effectively.

It is widely believed that sports and recreational facilities can substantially benefit local residents. Such amenities promote physical health, encourage community engagement, and strengthen community bonds. For example, a local sports complex can mitigate health issues like obesity and heart disease by promoting regular exercise. Additionally, community centers can foster social interaction and serve as hubs for various activities, thereby improving the quality of life for residents. Therefore, when companies invest in these facilities, they contribute positively to community well-being and foster goodwill among locals.

However, ensuring accessibility and proper management of these facilities is crucial. It is essential for large companies to collaborate with local governments in this endeavor. Governments have the expertise and infrastructure to manage public amenities effectively. For instance, while a company might construct a community center, local authorities can ensure its accessibility and oversee its maintenance. This collaboration not only shares the financial and logistical responsibilities but also ensures that the facilities meet diverse community needs and are sustainable in the long term.

In conclusion, while large companies should contribute to sports and community facilities, partnering with local governments is vital for effective implementation. This collaboration ensures that these facilities are well-managed, accessible to all community members, and maximally beneficial, thereby enhancing overall community impact and fostering a sense of unity among residents.