All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Besides contributing to the countries' economic advancement, big corporations are expected to construct some social amenities for the masses. Personally, I agree with this statement, providing that those companies collaborate with the local authorities.

Firstly, public facilities and sports areas invested by big companies can significantly benefit the indigenous residents. Such amenities can help enhance their physical health, foster social interaction, and improve the general quality of life. For instance, a sports complex would boost the sporty energy of dwellers, encouraging regular exercise and alleviating health issues such as obesity. Furthermore, this investment also strengthens community bonds as those supplies can serve as a gathering venue for social activities. Thus, providing public services brings everyone together and increases the standard of life as a whole.

However, along with the construction, large corporations should also work in partnership with local governments to showcase proper plans for the use of the community services. After those amenities have been built, the authorities bear the responsibility to assign teams to maintain them and ensure accessibility for all community members. One might argue that the authority might lose motivation to do so in the long run as it does not receive any monetary reward. Nevertheless, this line of reasoning is not sound since the genuine reward lies in the satisfaction and physical healthiness of local residents, which acts as the primary aim of a well-rounded society. This highly underscores the essentiality of the collaboration between company and authority in creating sustainable social wellness.

In conclusion, I agree with the viewpoint that sports and community facilities are invested by large companies, providing that they combine with the local governments' management. This ensures that those amenities are timely under maintenance and citizens can make use of these benefits.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"big corporations" -> "large corporations"
Explanation: "Large corporations" is a more formal and precise term than "big corporations," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"construct some social amenities" -> "establish certain social facilities"
Explanation: "Establish certain social facilities" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"the masses" -> "the general public"
Explanation: "The general public" is a more formal and precise term than "the masses," which can be seen as somewhat informal and vague.
"Personally, I agree" -> "I concur"
Explanation: "I concur" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the more conversational "Personally, I agree."
"public facilities and sports areas" -> "public facilities and recreational areas"
Explanation: "Recreational areas" is a more specific term that encompasses sports facilities, enhancing the precision of the description.
"sporty energy" -> "physical vitality"
Explanation: "Physical vitality" is a more formal and scientifically accurate term than "sporty energy," which is colloquial and vague.
"boost the sporty energy" -> "enhance physical vitality"
Explanation: "Enhance physical vitality" is a more formal and scientifically appropriate phrase than "boost the sporty energy," which is informal and imprecise.
"dwellers" -> "residents"
Explanation: "Residents" is a more formal and commonly used term in academic writing than "dwellers," which is less typical in formal contexts.
"sporty energy" -> "physical fitness"
Explanation: "Physical fitness" is a more precise and formal term than "sporty energy," which is colloquial and vague.
"alleviating health issues" -> "addressing health concerns"
Explanation: "Addressing health concerns" is a more formal and precise way to describe the impact on health, compared to "alleviating health issues," which is slightly informal.
"providing public services brings everyone together" -> "the provision of public services fosters community cohesion"
Explanation: "Fosters community cohesion" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "brings everyone together," which is too simplistic and informal.
"increases the standard of life as a whole" -> "enhances overall quality of life"
Explanation: "Enhances overall quality of life" is a more formal and precise expression than "increases the standard of life as a whole," which is somewhat awkward and informal.
"large corporations should also work in partnership" -> "large corporations should collaborate"
Explanation: "Collaborate" is a more formal and precise term than "work in partnership," which is slightly informal and redundant.
"assign teams to maintain them" -> "appoint personnel to maintain them"
Explanation: "Appoint personnel to maintain them" is more formal and specific than "assign teams to maintain them," which is less precise.
"the authority might lose motivation" -> "the authorities may lack motivation"
Explanation: "The authorities may lack motivation" is a more formal and precise way to express the potential lack of motivation, replacing the less formal "the authority might lose motivation."
"the genuine reward lies in the satisfaction and physical healthiness" -> "the true reward lies in the satisfaction and improved health"
Explanation: "Improved health" is a more precise and formal term than "physical healthiness," which is less commonly used in formal writing.
"highly underscores the essentiality" -> "strongly underscores the necessity"
Explanation: "Strongly underscores the necessity" is a more formal and precise expression than "highly underscores the essentiality," which is awkward and less commonly used in academic writing.
"sports and community facilities are invested by large companies" -> "sports and community facilities are funded by large corporations"
Explanation: "Funded by large corporations" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the financial involvement of companies, compared to "invested by," which is less precise and formal.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the author’s agreement with the idea that large companies should provide sports and community facilities. The introduction sets the stage well, indicating a personal stance while also acknowledging the necessity of collaboration with local authorities. The body paragraphs explore the benefits of such facilities for the community, which aligns with the prompt’s focus on the extent of agreement. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of potential counterarguments or limitations to this position, which would provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a paragraph that discusses potential drawbacks of large companies providing these facilities, such as the risk of prioritizing profit over community needs or the potential for unequal access to the facilities. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt and provide a more nuanced argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently supporting the idea that large companies should contribute to community facilities. The use of phrases like "Personally, I agree with this statement" and "this highly underscores the essentiality" reinforces the author’s stance. However, the transition between the benefits of facilities and the necessity of collaboration could be smoother to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the benefits of the facilities to the need for collaboration with local authorities. For instance, stating how the benefits are contingent upon effective management by local governments would strengthen the argument and maintain a clear position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, particularly regarding the benefits of sports and community facilities for local residents. The examples provided, such as the impact on physical health and social interaction, are relevant and effectively support the main argument. However, the essay could further extend these ideas by providing additional examples or statistics to bolster the claims made.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer could incorporate specific examples of successful collaborations between companies and local governments in other contexts or provide statistics that highlight the positive impacts of community facilities on public health and social cohesion. This would add depth and credibility to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the prompt directly and avoiding tangential issues. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument regarding the role of large companies in community development. However, there are moments where the discussion of collaboration with local authorities could be more tightly linked to the main argument about the companies’ responsibilities.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument of the essay. For example, when discussing the role of local authorities, the writer could explicitly connect this back to how it affects the companies’ responsibilities, thereby reinforcing the main argument without deviating from the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By addressing the suggested areas for improvement, the writer could further enhance the clarity, depth, and balance of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by presenting the writer’s stance on the topic, followed by well-structured body paragraphs that elaborate on the benefits of corporate investment in community facilities and the necessity of collaboration with local authorities. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the advantages of such amenities for residents, while the second addresses the importance of proper management and maintenance. This logical progression aids the reader in following the argument.
- How to improve: While the organization is strong, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea being discussed. This would further enhance the reader’s understanding of how each point contributes to the overall argument. Additionally, a more explicit connection between the points made in each paragraph could strengthen the logical flow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. The transition from discussing the benefits of facilities to the need for collaboration is smooth, indicating a good understanding of paragraph structure.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, consider using more varied paragraph lengths. For example, the second body paragraph is quite dense and could be broken into two shorter paragraphs: one focusing on the necessity of collaboration and another on the management and maintenance of facilities. This would not only enhance readability but also allow for a more detailed exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as "Firstly," "However," and "In conclusion," which guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, phrases like "this highly underscores" and "providing that" help to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, making it easy to follow.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more synonyms and transitional phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "big companies," alternatives like "corporate entities" or "large corporations" could be utilized. Furthermore, adding more complex cohesive devices, such as "in contrast" or "consequently," could provide deeper connections between ideas and enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate their essay to an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "social amenities," "indigenous residents," and "community bonds" effectively conveying the writer’s ideas. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "big corporations" is repeated, which could be substituted with synonyms like "large enterprises" or "major companies" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions. Using a thesaurus to find alternative words or phrases can help diversify vocabulary. Additionally, practicing writing with varied vocabulary in different contexts can aid in developing a more extensive lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "economic advancement" and "physical health." However, there are moments of imprecision, such as "sporty energy," which is somewhat vague and could be better expressed as "enthusiasm for sports" or "active lifestyle." The phrase "the authority might lose motivation" could also be more accurately stated as "local authorities may lack the incentive."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately reflect their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing vocabulary in context and ensuring that the chosen words convey the exact idea. Engaging in exercises that emphasize context-specific vocabulary usage can also be beneficial.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only minor errors. However, the phrase "countries’ economic advancement" should be corrected to "country’s economic advancement" to reflect singular possession. Additionally, "the local governments’ management" should be "local governments’ management" for clarity and correctness.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly misspelled words and grammatical structures. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing writing can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words can also aid in improvement.

Overall, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy will help elevate the score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and varied sentence openings. For example, the use of phrases like "Besides contributing to the countries’ economic advancement" and "Firstly, public facilities and sports areas invested by big companies" showcases the writer’s ability to employ introductory clauses effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence patterns, particularly in the second paragraph, where the structure "this investment also strengthens…" follows a similar pattern to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences, questions, or passive constructions. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this investment," the writer could vary the subject or use introductory phrases like "Moreover," or "In addition," to create a smoother flow and more engaging narrative.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "the countries’ economic advancement" should be "the country’s economic advancement" to reflect singular possession. Additionally, the use of commas is mostly correct, but there are places where comma usage could be improved, such as before "providing that" in the first sentence, which could clarify the conditional nature of the statement.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay close attention to singular and plural forms, ensuring that possessive forms are correctly used. Furthermore, reviewing comma rules, particularly in complex sentences, would enhance clarity. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on common errors and seeking feedback on drafts can also help in identifying and correcting these issues before final submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Besides contributing to the countries’ economic advancement, large corporations are expected to establish certain social facilities for the general public. Personally, I concur with this statement, provided that those companies collaborate with the local authorities.

Firstly, public facilities and sports areas funded by large corporations can significantly benefit the indigenous residents. Such amenities can help enhance their physical vitality, foster social interaction, and improve the overall quality of life. For instance, a sports complex would boost the physical fitness of residents, encouraging regular exercise and addressing health concerns such as obesity. Furthermore, this investment also strengthens community bonds, as these facilities can serve as gathering venues for social activities. Thus, providing public services brings everyone together and enhances the standard of life as a whole.

However, along with the construction, large corporations should also work in partnership with local governments to showcase proper plans for the use of the community services. After these amenities have been built, the authorities bear the responsibility to appoint personnel to maintain them and ensure accessibility for all community members. One might argue that the authorities may lack motivation to do so in the long run, as they do not receive any monetary reward. Nevertheless, this line of reasoning is not sound since the true reward lies in the satisfaction and improved health of local residents, which acts as the primary aim of a well-rounded society. This strongly underscores the necessity of collaboration between companies and authorities in creating sustainable social wellness.

In conclusion, I agree with the viewpoint that sports and community facilities should be funded by large corporations, provided that they collaborate with local governments for effective management. This ensures that these amenities are properly maintained and that citizens can benefit from them.