Although some software programs can translate languages, there are still many advantages of learning foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are so many app, program… can help us to translate languages. With just mobile phone, we can translate all languages in the world, it’s convenient and fast. So this is the main reason why some people depend on it. In my opinion, learning foreign languages brings us so many benefits. Which we can not find when we always depend on app, program. So I totally agree with this idea.
Firstly, translating language using the app, program will be convenient and take less time than learning it ourselves. Therefore, people easily become dependent because of attractive benefit. It was borned to support us in learning another language easier and it can’t replace out knowledge. If we always depend on it, in the near future it will put you at a disadvantage in many situations. For example, when we moving to new country, if we only use app to translate, it will be difficult for you to communicate and integrate into new environment. Moreover, it very difficult for us to work with foreign partners and gradually the opportunities for promotion at work will become less over time. The result of this is loss of confidence and failure to connect with people in the new environment. Besides, you will be inefficient and have so many struggle in staying at work.
Secondly, not only do we learn another language but we also learn more about the culture and people of that country. Our knowledge is expanded and it will be easier to integrate into a new country where we have learned before. For instance, integration is one of the most important things when you go to another country. So language proficiency and cultural understanding are the keys to easily integrating. If you want a job with higher salary than everyone else. Being influent in another languages if the difference.
In conclusion, a language should be learned systematically to be able to use it fluently instead of using assistive technology to translate easily. When we have another language we will have so many advantages in our life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays, there are so many app, program…" -> "Currently, there are numerous applications and programs…"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal temporal indicator than "Nowadays," and "numerous" is more precise than "so many." Additionally, "applications and programs" is a more formal and accurate term than "app, program."
"With just mobile phone" -> "With just a mobile phone"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "mobile phone" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formality of the sentence.
"it’s convenient and fast" -> "it is convenient and rapid"
Explanation: Replacing "it’s" with "it is" corrects the contraction to a full verb form, and "rapid" is a more formal synonym for "fast."
"So this is the main reason why some people depend on it." -> "This is a primary reason why some individuals rely on it."
Explanation: "Primary" is more specific than "main," and "individuals" is more formal than "people." "Rely on" is also more precise than "depend on" in this context.
"Which we can not find when we always depend on app, program." -> "which cannot be found when we consistently rely on applications and programs."
Explanation: "Cannot be found" is grammatically correct, and "consistently rely on" is more formal than "always depend on." Also, "applications and programs" should be plural to match the plural context.
"It was borned" -> "It was developed"
Explanation: "Developed" is the correct verb form for describing the creation of software, whereas "borned" is a nonstandard form.
"It can’t replace out knowledge" -> "It cannot replace our knowledge"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct form of the modal verb, and "our" is the correct possessive pronoun.
"If we always depend on it, in the near future it will put you at a disadvantage" -> "If we consistently rely on it, in the near future, we will be at a disadvantage"
Explanation: "Consistently rely on" is more formal than "always depend on," and "we will be at a disadvantage" corrects the pronoun error and maintains subject-verb agreement.
"it very difficult for us" -> "it is very difficult for us"
Explanation: Adding "is" corrects the grammatical structure.
"so many struggle in staying at work" -> "so many challenges in our work"
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more precise term than "struggle," and "our work" is more appropriate than "staying at work."
"Being influent in another languages" -> "Being proficient in other languages"
Explanation: "Proficient" is the correct term for language skills, and "other languages" is grammatically correct.
"If you want a job with higher salary than everyone else" -> "If you aspire to a higher-paying job than others"
Explanation: "Aspire to a higher-paying job than others" is more formal and precise than "want a job with higher salary than everyone else."
"Being influent in another languages" -> "Being proficient in other languages"
Explanation: "Proficient" is the correct term for language skills, and "other languages" is grammatically correct.
"a language should be learned systematically" -> "a language should be learned systematically"
Explanation: No change needed, as the sentence is grammatically correct and clear.
"When we have another language we will have so many advantages in our life" -> "When we possess another language, we will enjoy numerous advantages in our lives"
Explanation: "Possess" is more formal than "have," and "enjoy numerous advantages" is more precise and formal than "have so many advantages." Also, "lives" should be plural to match the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging the existence of translation software and presenting a clear argument in favor of learning foreign languages. However, while the author states their agreement with the idea that learning languages has advantages, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the extent of this agreement. For instance, the author could discuss specific scenarios where translation software might be beneficial, even if they ultimately argue that learning languages is more advantageous.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the author should explicitly outline the advantages of learning foreign languages in contrast to the benefits of translation software. Including a brief discussion on the limitations of translation software would provide a more balanced view and strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author presents a clear position in favor of learning foreign languages, stating, "I totally agree with this idea." However, the clarity of this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of a well-defined thesis statement and the occasional ambiguity in phrasing, such as "it very difficult for us to work with foreign partners," which could confuse readers about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should formulate a strong thesis statement in the introduction that clearly outlines their viewpoint. Additionally, using consistent language and structure throughout the essay will help reinforce the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the benefits of learning foreign languages, such as improved communication and cultural understanding. However, the development of these ideas is sometimes lacking in depth. For instance, the point about integration into a new country is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the author should provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific cultural aspects that can be better understood through language learning would enrich the argument. Additionally, integrating statistics or studies on language learning benefits could provide stronger support.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages of learning foreign languages. However, there are moments where the argument strays slightly, such as when discussing the disadvantages of relying solely on translation software without sufficiently tying it back to the main argument about the benefits of language learning.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the author should ensure that each point made directly supports the central argument. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that clearly relate back to the thesis can help keep the discussion on track. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements and ensuring that each example directly ties back to the argument will enhance coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, there are areas for improvement in depth, clarity, and coherence that could elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position on the topic, asserting that learning foreign languages is more beneficial than relying solely on translation software. The argument is structured into two main points: the disadvantages of dependency on translation apps and the advantages of learning a language. However, the logical flow could be improved as some ideas feel disjointed. For instance, the transition between discussing dependency on apps and the cultural benefits of learning a language lacks a clear connection, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each point flows naturally into the next by using transitional phrases that link ideas together. For example, after discussing the disadvantages of relying on apps, you could introduce the next paragraph with a phrase like "In contrast, learning a language also opens doors to understanding the culture, which is equally important."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness could be improved. The first paragraph serves as an introduction, but it could be clearer in outlining the main arguments. The body paragraphs present ideas, but they lack clear separation and development of each point. For example, the second paragraph combines multiple ideas about dependency on apps without clearly delineating them, which can lead to confusion.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples and explanations. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details. Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the drawbacks of dependency on translation apps and the other on the benefits of learning a language. This will help create a clearer structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help to structure the arguments. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "it was borned to support us" is awkward and disrupts the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "however," "on the other hand," "furthermore," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that the language used is grammatically correct; for example, "it was borned" should be corrected to "it was created." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also enhance clarity and coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic of language translation and learning. Phrases such as "translate languages," "depend on it," and "cultural understanding" show some range. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive, with terms like "app" and "program" being used multiple times without variation. This limits the overall lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "app" and "program," alternatives such as "application," "software," or "digital tools" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives and adverbs (e.g., "effective," "efficient," "essential") would enrich the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "it was borned" is incorrect; the correct form is "it was created" or "it was developed." Additionally, "being influent in another languages" should be "being fluent in another language." Such errors can confuse readers and detract from the overall argument.
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring that vocabulary is used accurately. This can be achieved by reviewing definitions and contexts of words before using them. Utilizing tools like thesauruses or vocabulary lists specific to language learning can also help in selecting the most appropriate terms. Practice writing sentences with new vocabulary to reinforce correct usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "borned" instead of "born," "app" instead of "apps," and "influents" instead of "fluent." These mistakes can disrupt the flow of reading and may lead to misunderstandings of the intended message.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, regular practice is essential. Consider using spelling apps or online tools that provide exercises and quizzes. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times, or using spell-check features in word processors, can help catch errors before submission. Reading extensively in English can also reinforce correct spelling through exposure.

In summary, while the essay shows a foundational understanding of the topic and attempts to use a range of vocabulary, improvements in lexical diversity, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Regular practice, careful proofreading, and a focus on expanding vocabulary will contribute to better performance in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences. For example, phrases like "there are so many app, program… can help us to translate languages" and "it will be difficult for you to communicate and integrate into new environment" reflect a basic structure and do not effectively utilize more sophisticated grammatical forms. The use of "Firstly" and "Secondly" indicates an attempt to organize ideas, but the overall structure lacks variety and complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses, relative clauses, and varied sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of saying "it will be difficult for you to communicate," the writer could say, "If one relies solely on translation apps, communicating effectively can become challenging." Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading more complex texts can help in developing this skill.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity and coherence. For example, "app, program…" should be corrected to "apps and programs" for grammatical accuracy. The phrase "it’s convenient and fast" lacks a subject, which makes it a fragment. Additionally, the use of "was borned" is incorrect; the correct form is "was born." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also affect readability, as seen in "if we only use app to translate, it will be difficult for you to communicate and integrate into new environment."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence fragments. Regular grammar exercises, particularly focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can help ensure that sentences are complete and correctly punctuated. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also provide immediate feedback on errors.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear opinion and some relevant points, strengthening the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, there are so many apps and programs that can help us translate languages. With just a mobile phone, we can translate all languages in the world; it’s convenient and rapid. This is a primary reason why some people depend on it. In my opinion, learning foreign languages brings us many benefits, which cannot be found when we consistently rely on apps and programs. Therefore, I totally agree with this idea.

Firstly, translating languages using apps and programs is convenient and takes less time than learning it ourselves. Therefore, people easily become dependent because of this attractive benefit. It was developed to support us in learning another language more easily, but it cannot replace our knowledge. If we consistently rely on it, in the near future, we will be at a disadvantage in many situations. For example, when we move to a new country, if we only use an app to translate, it will be very difficult for us to communicate and integrate into the new environment. Moreover, it is very difficult for us to work with foreign partners, and gradually the opportunities for promotion at work will become less over time. The result of this is a loss of confidence and failure to connect with people in the new environment. Besides, you will be inefficient and have so many challenges in your work.

Secondly, not only do we learn another language, but we also learn more about the culture and people of that country. Our knowledge is expanded, and it will be easier to integrate into a new country where we have learned before. For instance, integration is one of the most important things when you go to another country. So, language proficiency and cultural understanding are the keys to easily integrating. If you aspire to a higher-paying job than others, being proficient in other languages is the difference.

In conclusion, a language should be learned systematically to be able to use it fluently instead of relying on assistive technology to translate easily. When we possess another language, we will enjoy numerous advantages in our lives.