Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age, climate change represents a pervasive challenge all around the world. Some individuals argue that private citizens should assume/bear the responsibility of addressing this problem, not organizations and national governments. Personally, I partly agree with this school of thought, which will be further discussed in this essay.

It is widely claimed that people must be responsible for climate change.The primary reason is that human activities, such as deforestation and extensive use of petrol-fueled vehicles, pose a major threat to the increased temperature of the Earth, exacerbating climate change and inflicting detrimental impacts on our planet. Consequently, if people plant more trees and green spaces and switch to public transport and eco-friendly vehicles, we can significantly contribute to improving the current situation. Nevertheless, climate change cannot be the responsibility of private citizens because they do not have the capacity to implement systematic and powerful changes in the way that governments can. Specifically. governments can introduce laws that require both individuals and companies to obey and comply with certain restrictions. For example, by imposing a ban/limit on the amount of waste discharged into the environment, climate change can be seriously countered. Such laws offer large-scale impacts as they effectively contribute to preventing climate change.

Moreover, big companies must also be held accountable for addressing the negative effects of climate change. The rationale behind this lies in the profit-driven motives of big corporations that cause climate change in the first place. In their relentless pursuit of profits, businesses often ignore the devastating consequences of their operations on the environment, causing massive environmental degradation. Therefore, it is only fair that they are held responsible for the adverse outcomes of their actions. Also, given that climate change transcends national borders, effectively combating it necessitates collective actions on a global scale, requiring international cooperation between nations and large corporations.

In conclusion, while individuals can make meaningful contributions to mitigating the impacts of climate change, I remain convinced that the main responsibility falls on governments and global corporations. They must be responsible for rectifying the damage caused, given that they are often the primary contributors to this pressing issue

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"pervasive challenge" -> "widespread challenge"
Explanation: "Pervasive" can imply a more subtle or insidious presence, whereas "widespread" better conveys the broad and extensive nature of the issue.
"assume/bear the responsibility" -> "shoulder the responsibility"
Explanation: "Shoulder the responsibility" is a more precise and formal phrase commonly used in academic contexts to denote taking on a duty or obligation.
"I partly agree" -> "I partially agree"
Explanation: "Partly" is less formal and slightly archaic compared to "partially," which is more commonly used in formal writing.
"which will be further discussed in this essay" -> "which will be explored further in this essay"
Explanation: "Explored further" is more specific and academically appropriate than "discussed," implying a deeper analysis.
"people must be responsible for climate change" -> "individuals are accountable for climate change"
Explanation: "Are accountable for" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the legal and moral obligation.
"pose a major threat to the increased temperature of the Earth" -> "pose a significant threat to rising global temperatures"
Explanation: "Rising global temperatures" is a more precise and scientifically accurate term than "the increased temperature of the Earth."
"inflicting detrimental impacts" -> "inflicting significant adverse impacts"
Explanation: "Adverse" is more specific and formal than "detrimental," which can be vague.
"plant more trees and green spaces" -> "plant more trees and greenery"
Explanation: "Greenery" is a more formal and encompassing term than "green spaces," which is less specific.
"switch to public transport and eco-friendly vehicles" -> "adopt public transportation and eco-friendly vehicles"
Explanation: "Adopt" is more formal and precise than "switch," which is somewhat casual.
"can be seriously countered" -> "can be effectively mitigated"
Explanation: "Mitigated" is a more precise term in the context of reducing the effects of climate change, compared to "countered," which is less specific.
"Such laws offer large-scale impacts" -> "Such laws have significant impacts"
Explanation: "Have significant impacts" is more grammatically correct and formal than "offer large-scale impacts."
"big companies must also be held accountable" -> "large corporations must also be held accountable"
Explanation: "Large corporations" is a more formal and precise term than "big companies."
"profit-driven motives" -> "profit-driven motivations"
Explanation: "Motivations" is the correct noun form, aligning with the context of reasons or drives behind actions.
"devastating consequences" -> "severe consequences"
Explanation: "Severe" is a more formal and academically appropriate adjective than "devastating," which can be overly emotional for formal writing.
"must be responsible for rectifying the damage caused" -> "must assume responsibility for rectifying the damage caused"
Explanation: "Assume responsibility" is a more formal expression, emphasizing the obligation and commitment to rectify the damage.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the roles of individuals, corporations, and governments in tackling climate change. The writer presents a nuanced view, indicating partial agreement with the notion that individuals bear responsibility while emphasizing that corporations and governments play a crucial role. The use of phrases like "personally, I partly agree" clearly signals the writer’s stance. The essay discusses the responsibilities of individuals in terms of personal actions, such as planting trees and using public transport, while also highlighting the limitations of individual efforts compared to the systemic changes that governments can implement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could more explicitly delineate the extent of their agreement or disagreement in the introduction. A clearer thesis statement that outlines the specific responsibilities of each party could strengthen the overall argument. Additionally, including more specific examples or statistics to substantiate claims about the impact of individual actions versus governmental policies would provide a more robust answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that while individuals have a role, the primary responsibility lies with governments and corporations. This position is consistent throughout the essay, with the writer reiterating their belief in the necessity of systemic change. The conclusion effectively summarizes this stance, reinforcing the argument made in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To further clarify the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect back to their main argument after discussing each point. For instance, after presenting an argument about individual responsibility, a sentence that ties it back to the overall thesis would enhance coherence. Additionally, the writer could briefly acknowledge counterarguments to strengthen their position by addressing potential objections.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the impact of individual actions and the necessity of governmental intervention. The arguments are supported with logical reasoning and relevant examples, such as the mention of laws to limit waste discharge. However, while the ideas are extended, some could benefit from more depth, particularly in the discussion of corporate responsibility.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer could include more specific examples of successful governmental policies or corporate practices that have positively impacted climate change. Additionally, incorporating data or studies that illustrate the effectiveness of individual actions versus systemic changes would provide a stronger foundation for the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of climate change and the responsibilities of different stakeholders. Each paragraph addresses relevant aspects of the prompt without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from individual actions to corporate and governmental responsibilities.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the writer should regularly refer back to the prompt throughout the essay, especially when introducing new ideas. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each point back to the question of responsibility, ensuring that all arguments are directly tied to the central theme. Additionally, avoiding overly complex sentences can help maintain clarity and focus on the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-reasoned argument, meriting a high band score. With some refinements in clarity, depth, and explicit connections to the prompt, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by body paragraphs that explore the responsibilities of individuals, governments, and corporations in addressing climate change. Each paragraph logically builds on the previous one, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing individual actions to the role of governments is smooth, as it highlights the limitations of individual efforts in the face of systemic issues. However, the essay could benefit from more explicit linking phrases to guide the reader through the argument’s progression.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" to clearly signal shifts between ideas and reinforce the connections between paragraphs. Additionally, a clearer delineation of points within paragraphs could help, such as using topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses individual responsibility, while the second addresses governmental and corporate accountability. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to enhance readability, as it combines multiple ideas about government and corporate roles without clear separation.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider breaking the second body paragraph into two distinct sections: one focusing on governmental responsibilities and the other on corporate accountability. This would allow for a more thorough exploration of each point and improve clarity. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "consequently," "moreover," and "therefore," which help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow could be improved with additional linking words. For example, the transition from discussing individual actions to governmental responsibilities could be smoother with a more explicit connective phrase.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using expressions like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "as a result" can enhance the flow between contrasting ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. By focusing on enhancing logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and coherence of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of climate change. Terms such as "pervasive challenge," "detrimental impacts," and "profit-driven motives" reflect an ability to use varied language effectively. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "responsibility" and "climate change," which could be diversified to enhance the lexical variety further.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should consider using synonyms or related phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "responsibility," alternatives like "obligation," "accountability," or "duty" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more specialized vocabulary related to environmental science or policy could further enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where word choice could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "private citizens should assume/bear the responsibility" could be simplified to "individuals should take responsibility," which is clearer and more direct. The use of "exacerbating" is appropriate, but the phrase "inflicting detrimental impacts" could be rephrased to "causing detrimental effects," which is more commonly used and clearer.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clarity and common usage of phrases. Reviewing collocations and common expressions in academic writing can help. For example, instead of "the capacity to implement systematic and powerful changes," the writer could say "the ability to enact significant changes," which conveys the same meaning more succinctly.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors throughout the text. This indicates a strong command of English spelling conventions, which is crucial for achieving a higher band score.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or using spelling apps can be beneficial. Engaging with a variety of texts can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written material.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a good range, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. By diversifying word choice, enhancing clarity, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional clauses, and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "In this day and age" and "the primary reason is that" showcases an ability to introduce ideas effectively. The writer also employs a conditional structure with "if people plant more trees and green spaces," which adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as starting several sentences with "Moreover" or "Therefore," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could experiment with different ways to introduce new ideas or transitions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Moreover," alternatives like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Another point to consider is" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence lengths and types, such as rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences, could further enrich the essay’s structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with most sentences being correctly formed and punctuated. However, there are a few minor errors that affect clarity. For instance, in the sentence "climate change cannot be the responsibility of private citizens because they do not have the capacity to implement systematic and powerful changes in the way that governments can. Specifically." the word "Specifically" is incorrectly punctuated and should be integrated into the following sentence for coherence. Additionally, the phrase "Some individuals argue that private citizens should assume/bear the responsibility" could be simplified for clarity, as the use of both verbs is somewhat redundant.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to punctuation, particularly the use of periods and commas. Reviewing sentence structures to ensure they flow logically and cohesively will enhance clarity. Furthermore, practicing the integration of transitional phrases within sentences can help avoid abrupt stops, as seen with "Specifically." Regular grammar exercises focusing on common pitfalls, such as sentence fragments and run-ons, could also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in structure variety and grammatical precision, the writer could achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, climate change represents a widespread challenge across the globe. Some individuals argue that private citizens should shoulder the responsibility of addressing this problem, rather than corporations and national governments. Personally, I partially agree with this school of thought, which will be explored further in this essay.

It is widely claimed that individuals are accountable for climate change. The primary reason is that human activities, such as deforestation and the extensive use of petrol-fueled vehicles, pose a significant threat to rising global temperatures, exacerbating climate change and inflicting significant adverse impacts on our planet. Consequently, if people plant more trees and greenery and adopt public transportation and eco-friendly vehicles, we can effectively mitigate the current situation. Nevertheless, climate change cannot solely be the responsibility of private citizens because they do not have the capacity to implement systematic and powerful changes in the way that governments can. Specifically, governments can introduce laws that require both individuals and companies to comply with certain restrictions. For example, by imposing limits on the amount of waste discharged into the environment, climate change can be seriously countered. Such laws have significant impacts as they effectively contribute to preventing climate change.

Moreover, large corporations must also be held accountable for addressing the negative effects of climate change. The rationale behind this lies in the profit-driven motivations of big corporations that contribute to climate change in the first place. In their relentless pursuit of profits, businesses often ignore the severe consequences of their operations on the environment, leading to massive environmental degradation. Therefore, it is only fair that they assume responsibility for rectifying the damage caused by their actions. Additionally, given that climate change transcends national borders, effectively combating it necessitates collective action on a global scale, requiring international cooperation between nations and large corporations.

In conclusion, while individuals can make meaningful contributions to mitigating the impacts of climate change, I remain convinced that the primary responsibility falls on governments and global corporations. They must shoulder the responsibility for rectifying the damage caused, as they are often the main contributors to this pressing issue.