(Dang Hue )You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wherever relevant. Write at least 150 words.
(Dang Hue )You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar graph below shows the amount of carbon emissions in different countries during three different years.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wherever relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
– [ ] The chart below demonstrates the amount of carbon emissions by countries in three years :1975,1990,2005.Generally,
– [ ] In all three years, America and China were two of the six countries with the highest carbon emissions, which shows that these two countries are quite polluted.Germany,United Kingdom ,Canada and India had the amount of carbon emissions into atmosphere fairly.
– [ ] In 1975 , USA also had the big carbon emissions at 1200000 thousand metric tonnes.Regarding China , this countries had carbon emissions fairly at around 300000 thousand metric tonnes . Germany and United Kingdom had low emissions in the range of about 200,000 thousand metric tonnes or a little more.Canada and India had the carbon discharge into atmosphere at lowest level around 100,000 and 50,000 thousand metric tonnes respectively.
– [ ] By 1990 the USA Canada and India had a slightly increased to about 100,000, 20,000 and 100,000 thousandad metric tonnes respectively. In Germany, the number of carbon emissions remained stable while in the UK there was a slight decreased from about 200,000 to nearly 100,000. thousand metric tonnes In China, carbon emissions into the environment have increased sharply from nearly 400,000 to 700,000, which shows that China is increasingly suffering from environmental pollution.
– [ ] In 2005 the USA and China had very strong carbon emissions, rising to nearly 300,000 and 900,000 thousand metric tonnes respectively. Carbon emissions in the youngest area decreased slightly from nearly 300,000 to 200,000.
– [x] British Canada saw its carbon emissions increase slightly to 200,000. India's carbon emissions increased fairly up about 300,000
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the amount of carbon emissions by countries" -> "the levels of carbon emissions by countries"
Explanation: "Levels" is a more precise term that conveys the idea of measurement and is commonly used in academic contexts, while "amount" is more vague and less formal. -
"which shows that these two countries are quite polluted" -> "indicating that these two countries experience significant pollution"
Explanation: "Indicating" is a more formal and precise term than "shows," and "experience significant pollution" is a more academic way to express the idea of pollution levels. -
"this countries had carbon emissions fairly at around" -> "these countries had carbon emissions of approximately"
Explanation: "These" is the correct plural form to refer to "countries," and "of approximately" is more precise and formal than "fairly at around." -
"big carbon emissions" -> "high levels of carbon emissions"
Explanation: "High levels" is a more formal and precise phrase than "big," which is informal and vague. -
"the carbon discharge into atmosphere at lowest level" -> "the carbon emissions released into the atmosphere at the lowest levels"
Explanation: "Emissions released" is more precise than "discharge," and "at the lowest levels" maintains clarity and formality. -
"slightly increased to about" -> "slightly increased to approximately"
Explanation: "Approximately" is a more formal term than "about," which is more casual. -
"the number of carbon emissions remained stable" -> "the levels of carbon emissions remained stable"
Explanation: "Levels" is a more precise term in this context than "number," which can imply a count rather than a measurement. -
"there was a slight decreased" -> "there was a slight decrease"
Explanation: "Decrease" is the correct noun form, while "decreased" is a verb, leading to grammatical inconsistency. -
"which shows that China is increasingly suffering from environmental pollution" -> "indicating that China is increasingly affected by environmental pollution"
Explanation: "Indicating" is a more formal term than "shows," and "affected by" is a more precise way to express the impact of pollution. -
"very strong carbon emissions" -> "significantly high levels of carbon emissions"
Explanation: "Significantly high levels" is a more formal and precise expression than "very strong," which is informal. -
"the youngest area" -> "the most recent data"
Explanation: "The most recent data" is clearer and more appropriate in an academic context than "the youngest area," which is vague. -
"saw its carbon emissions increase slightly" -> "experienced a slight increase in carbon emissions"
Explanation: "Experienced" is a more formal term than "saw," and "a slight increase in" is a clearer and more precise phrase. -
"increased fairly up about" -> "increased significantly to approximately"
Explanation: "Increased significantly" is a more precise and formal expression than "increased fairly up," which is vague and informal.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by providing an overview of the information in the bar chart. However, the overview is not clear and the essay does not adequately cover all the key features. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the statement that "China is increasingly suffering from environmental pollution."
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on the key features of the data, such as the highest and lowest carbon emissions in each year. The essay should avoid irrelevant details and focus on presenting the information in a clear and concise way.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to provide comparisons and report on the data, the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, leading to repetition and a lack of clarity. Additionally, paragraphing is inconsistent; while there are attempts to separate ideas, the logical structure is not always maintained, making it difficult to follow the argument.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate directly to the main features of the data. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, would help create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that all paragraphs are logically structured and clearly defined will contribute to better overall progression in the essay. Lastly, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve the overall readability of the text.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about carbon emissions, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "this countries" instead of "this country," and "thousandad" instead of "thousand." These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. Additionally, phrases like "fairly" and "low emissions in the range of about" indicate a lack of precision in word choice. Overall, the vocabulary used does not fully meet the requirements for higher band scores.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of synonyms and less common lexical items. They should also focus on improving accuracy in spelling and word formation. Practicing the use of collocations and ensuring that word choices are appropriate for the context will enhance clarity and precision. Reading more academic texts and essays can help in understanding how to use vocabulary effectively in different contexts.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex structures. However, the accuracy of these attempts is inconsistent, leading to frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like "this countries had carbon emissions fairly" and "the youngest area decreased slightly" indicate issues with subject-verb agreement and unclear references, respectively. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and inconsistent spacing, detract from the overall clarity of the writing. While the essay conveys some relevant information, the grammatical inaccuracies hinder effective communication.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Variety in Sentence Structure: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence forms to demonstrate flexibility in grammar.
- Proofreading: Carefully check for grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and punctuation, to ensure clarity and coherence.
- Clarity in Expression: Use precise language and clear references to avoid ambiguity in statements.
- Practice: Regularly practice writing essays and seek feedback to identify recurring grammatical issues and work on them systematically.
Bài sửa mẫu
The chart below demonstrates the amount of carbon emissions by countries in three years: 1975, 1990, and 2005. Generally, in all three years, the USA and China were two of the six countries with the highest carbon emissions, indicating that these countries are significantly polluted. Germany, the United Kingdom, Canada, and India had relatively lower levels of carbon emissions.
In 1975, the USA recorded the highest carbon emissions at 1,200,000 metric tonnes. In contrast, China had emissions of around 300,000 metric tonnes. Germany and the United Kingdom had low emissions, each in the range of about 200,000 metric tonnes or slightly more. Canada and India had the lowest carbon discharges, at approximately 100,000 and 50,000 metric tonnes, respectively.
By 1990, the USA, Canada, and India experienced slight increases in emissions to about 100,000, 20,000, and 100,000 metric tonnes, respectively. In Germany, the level of carbon emissions remained stable, while in the UK, there was a slight decrease from about 200,000 to nearly 100,000 metric tonnes. In China, carbon emissions surged sharply from nearly 400,000 to 700,000 metric tonnes, indicating that China was increasingly facing environmental pollution.
In 2005, the USA and China exhibited significant carbon emissions, rising to nearly 300,000 and 900,000 metric tonnes, respectively. Carbon emissions in Germany decreased slightly from nearly 300,000 to 200,000 metric tonnes. Canada saw its carbon emissions increase slightly to 200,000 metric tonnes, while India’s emissions rose moderately to about 300,000 metric tonnes.
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