Describe a holiday/trip you want to go on in the future

Well, for a forthcoming vacation, as an avid traveler since childhood, Hue which is situated in Central Vietnam is at the top spot of my list. This destination is renowned for its tranquil atmosphere and the dwellers are always amiable and extremely gentle. In this place, the sight of women wear traditional ao dai adorned with conical hats stands as a profound symbol, representing not only the essence of Hue but also the cultural identity of Vietnam as a whole. Because of these factors, Hue is now one of the most attractive tourist destinations for those looking to escape from the fast pace of life.
I would love to explore it on my own thoroughly, and I guess this trip would be a fantastic and meaningful experience for me because I will discover many recreational pursuits there. Firstly. Hue Ancient Citadel is a must-visit. It was recognized as a World Cultural Heritage by UNESCO in 1993. When visiting there, I will try to dress in ancient clothing to transform into a historical figure. Besides, Perfume River is another splendid spot on my journey. I will take a boat to enjoy the romantic and picturesque sunset on the Perfume River while relishing Hue royal court music. It will be a wonderful experience.
In addition to its historical sites, Hue also offers visually appealing food with scrumptious specialities like Bun Bo Hue, nem lui, banh beo and che. This is also one of the primary reasons why I want to explore Hue
As a final point, why I would like to travel Hue is that with all the knowledge and valuable experience during my stay, this trip would let myself fully relax and enrich my experiences in life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Well, for a forthcoming vacation" -> "For an upcoming vacation"
Explanation: "Well" is too informal for academic writing. "For an upcoming vacation" is more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"as an avid traveler since childhood" -> "as a lifelong traveler"
Explanation: "As an avid traveler since childhood" is redundant. "As a lifelong traveler" simplifies the phrase while maintaining the intended meaning.
"Hue which is situated in Central Vietnam" -> "Hue, located in central Vietnam"
Explanation: "Which is situated" is verbose and can be simplified to "located" for a more direct and formal tone.
"the dwellers are always amiable and extremely gentle" -> "the residents are consistently friendly and courteous"
Explanation: "Dwellers" is less common and slightly informal; "residents" is more precise and formal. "Amiable" and "extremely gentle" can be replaced with "friendly" and "courteous" for a more straightforward and academic tone.
"the sight of women wear traditional ao dai adorned with conical hats" -> "the sight of women wearing traditional ao dai adorned with conical hats"
Explanation: "wear" should be "wearing" to correct the verb form, aligning with the present continuous tense used in the context.
"stands as a profound symbol" -> "serves as a profound symbol"
Explanation: "Stands" is less formal and slightly vague; "serves" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"Because of these factors, Hue is now one of the most attractive tourist destinations" -> "Given these factors, Hue has become a highly attractive tourist destination"
Explanation: "Because of these factors" is informal and vague; "Given these factors" is more formal and precise. "One of the most attractive" can be simplified to "a highly attractive" for conciseness and formality.
"I would love to explore it on my own thoroughly" -> "I intend to thoroughly explore it independently"
Explanation: "I would love to" is too informal and emotional for academic writing. "I intend to" is more formal and precise.
"I guess this trip would be a fantastic and meaningful experience" -> "I anticipate that this trip will be a significant and enriching experience"
Explanation: "I guess" is informal and speculative; "I anticipate" is more assertive and formal. "Fantastic" and "meaningful" can be replaced with "significant" and "enriching" for a more academic tone.
"Firstly." -> "First"
Explanation: "Firstly" is a less formal and slightly archaic term; "First" is more direct and suitable for academic writing.
"It was recognized as a World Cultural Heritage by UNESCO in 1993" -> "It was designated as a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1993"
Explanation: "Recognized as a World Cultural Heritage" is verbose; "designated as a UNESCO World Heritage site" is more precise and commonly used in academic contexts.
"I will try to dress in ancient clothing" -> "I plan to dress in traditional attire"
Explanation: "Try" implies a tentative action, whereas "plan" indicates a deliberate intention, which is more suitable for academic writing. "Ancient clothing" is vague; "traditional attire" is more specific and formal.
"This is also one of the primary reasons why I want to explore Hue" -> "This is another key reason I wish to explore Hue"
Explanation: "This is also one of the primary reasons" is redundant; "This is another key reason" is more concise and formal. "Want" is informal; "wish" is more suitable for academic writing.
"why I would like to travel Hue" -> "why I wish to visit Hue"
Explanation: "Travel" is too broad and informal; "visit" is more specific and appropriate for discussing tourism. "Would like" is informal; "wish" is more formal and precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the desired destination (Hue, Vietnam) and providing reasons for wanting to visit. The writer discusses the cultural significance of Hue, mentions specific sites to visit, and highlights the culinary experiences. This comprehensive approach ensures that all aspects of the prompt are covered. However, the essay could benefit from a more structured outline of the trip, such as duration or specific activities planned.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include more details about the trip’s duration, specific activities planned for each day, or how this trip fits into their broader travel goals. This would provide a more rounded answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay, expressing a strong desire to visit Hue. The enthusiasm for the destination is evident, and the reasons provided are coherent and relevant. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, as some sentences feel abrupt, which may slightly detract from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer should use transitional phrases to connect ideas more fluidly. For instance, using phrases like "Furthermore" or "Additionally" can help guide the reader through the essay’s progression.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about why Hue is an attractive destination, such as its cultural significance, historical sites, and food. Each idea is supported with examples, such as the mention of the Ancient Citadel and local cuisine. However, some points, like the experience of dressing in ancient clothing, could be elaborated further to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could provide more personal reflections or anecdotes related to the experiences they hope to have in Hue. For example, discussing previous travel experiences that have shaped their desire to visit Hue could add depth to the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of a future trip to Hue, with all content relevant to the destination and the writer’s intentions. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, which is commendable. However, the conclusion could be more directly tied back to the initial reasons for wanting to visit.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces the overall desire to visit Hue. A closing statement that ties back to the introduction would create a more cohesive essay structure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a compelling case for the desired trip to Hue. With some refinements in structure, elaboration, and transitions, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the context by introducing Hue as a desired travel destination, followed by specific attractions and experiences the writer anticipates. For example, the transition from discussing the cultural significance of the ao dai to the historical sites like the Hue Ancient Citadel is smooth and coherent, allowing the reader to follow the writer’s thought process easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. For instance, explicitly stating that the second paragraph will focus on historical sites could help guide the reader. Additionally, linking the significance of the cultural aspects to personal experiences or feelings could create a more cohesive narrative.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on distinct aspects of the trip. However, the second paragraph lacks a clear transition from the introduction, and the final paragraph feels somewhat abrupt. The use of a concluding sentence that summarizes the overall significance of the trip could strengthen the closure.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One of the highlights of my trip will be exploring Hue’s rich historical sites." This would provide clarity and set the stage for the details that follow. Additionally, consider including transitional phrases at the end of paragraphs to lead into the next point more smoothly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs various cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing (e.g., "this destination," "these factors"). However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow could be improved with more varied devices. For example, the phrase "In addition to" is effective, but relying heavily on similar phrases can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," and "On the other hand," to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help avoid repetition and enhance cohesion. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning "Hue," you could refer to it as "this city" or "the destination" in subsequent sentences.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, meriting a Band Score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and fluidity of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "tranquil atmosphere," "amiable," "cultural identity," and "World Cultural Heritage." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation in expression. For instance, the phrase "fantastic and meaningful experience" could be diversified with synonyms or alternative phrases to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For example, instead of repeatedly using "experience," you might use "adventure," "journey," or "exploration." Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives could enrich the narrative, such as using "serene" instead of "tranquil" or "delectable" instead of "scrumptious."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the sight of women wear traditional ao dai" should be corrected to "the sight of women wearing traditional ao dai." This grammatical error affects the clarity of the expression. Furthermore, the term "dwellers" could be more accurately replaced with "locals" or "residents" to better convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, focus on grammatical structures and ensure that verbs agree with their subjects. Additionally, consider the context of your vocabulary choices. For example, instead of "dwellers," using "locals" would provide a clearer and more natural expression. Regularly reviewing vocabulary in context can help identify more precise alternatives.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy overall, with no major spelling errors. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "scrumptious specialities," where "specialities" should be spelled as "specialties" in American English or "specialities" in British English, depending on the chosen standard. Consistency in spelling is important.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider using spell-check tools or proofreading your work carefully. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can be beneficial. Practicing writing and reading more extensively in English will also help reinforce correct spelling.

In summary, while the essay showcases a commendable effort in lexical resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and maintaining consistent spelling, the overall quality of the writing can be enhanced significantly.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "as an avid traveler since childhood" and "this destination is renowned for its tranquil atmosphere" showcases effective introductory clauses and descriptive phrases. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "I will" or "this trip would," which can limit the overall range.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more diverse introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly using "I will," the writer could use alternatives like "During my visit, I plan to…" or "One of my goals is to…" This would not only diversify the sentence openings but also create a more engaging narrative flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, in the sentence "the sight of women wear traditional ao dai," the verb should be "wearing" to maintain grammatical consistency. Additionally, the phrase "Firstly. Hue Ancient Citadel is a must-visit" contains a punctuation error; "Firstly" should be followed by a comma instead of a period.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to verb forms and ensure subject-verb agreement. Regular proofreading can help catch these errors before finalizing the essay. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas and periods, will enhance clarity. For instance, revising the transition from "Firstly" to the next sentence would help maintain the flow of ideas.

Overall, the essay shows a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but with targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the writer could elevate their score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

Well, for an upcoming vacation, as a lifelong traveler, Hue, located in central Vietnam, is at the top of my list. This destination is renowned for its tranquil atmosphere, and the residents are consistently friendly and courteous. In this place, the sight of women wearing traditional ao dai adorned with conical hats serves as a profound symbol, representing not only the essence of Hue but also the cultural identity of Vietnam as a whole. Given these factors, Hue has become a highly attractive tourist destination for those looking to escape from the fast pace of life.

I intend to thoroughly explore it independently, and I anticipate that this trip will be a significant and enriching experience for me because I will discover many recreational pursuits there. First, the Hue Ancient Citadel is a must-visit. It was designated as a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1993. When visiting there, I plan to dress in traditional attire to transform into a historical figure. Besides, the Perfume River is another splendid spot on my journey. I will take a boat to enjoy the romantic and picturesque sunset on the Perfume River while relishing Hue royal court music. It will be a wonderful experience.

In addition to its historical sites, Hue also offers visually appealing food with scrumptious specialties like Bun Bo Hue, nem lui, banh beo, and che. This is another key reason I wish to explore Hue.

As a final point, why I wish to visit Hue is that with all the knowledge and valuable experiences I gain during my stay, this trip would allow me to fully relax and enrich my life experiences.