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describe natural disaster

describe natural disaster

Natural disasters have severe consequences for the economy and are a leading cause of death.Recently, Typhoon Yagi, considered one of the most significant storms in recent years made landfall in the northern provinces of Vietnam, leaving behind many serious consequences. Many people have died, and some who were fortunate enough to survive found their homes severely damaged by strong winds and landslides, many have become homeless after that typhoon. Typhoon Yagi has caused many serious consequences for people. Therefore, everyone needs to regularly update news about natural disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, and typhoons, always learn and implement safety measures for yourself and your family, such as reinforcing slopes and roofs, and stockpiling fresh food.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Natural disasters have severe consequences for the economy and are a leading cause of death." -> "Natural disasters have severe economic impacts and are a significant cause of mortality."
    Explanation: Replacing "consequences for the economy" with "economic impacts" and "a leading cause of death" with "a significant cause of mortality" refines the language to be more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style.

  2. "Recently, Typhoon Yagi, considered one of the most significant storms in recent years made landfall in the northern provinces of Vietnam, leaving behind many serious consequences." -> "Recently, Typhoon Yagi, one of the most significant storms in recent years, made landfall in Vietnam’s northern provinces, resulting in numerous severe consequences."
    Explanation: Removing "considered" and rephrasing "leaving behind" to "resulting in" enhances the sentence structure and clarity, making it more direct and formal.

  3. "Many people have died, and some who were fortunate enough to survive found their homes severely damaged by strong winds and landslides, many have become homeless after that typhoon." -> "Many people have perished, and those who survived found their homes severely damaged by strong winds and landslides, resulting in homelessness."
    Explanation: Replacing "have died" with "have perished" and "fortunate enough to survive" with "those who survived" uses more formal vocabulary. Also, rephrasing "many have become homeless" to "resulting in homelessness" streamlines the sentence and enhances the academic tone.

  4. "Typhoon Yagi has caused many serious consequences for people." -> "Typhoon Yagi has had numerous severe impacts on the populace."
    Explanation: Replacing "caused many serious consequences for people" with "had numerous severe impacts on the populace" uses more precise and formal language, improving the academic tone.

  5. "everyone needs to regularly update news about natural disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, and typhoons, always learn and implement safety measures for yourself and your family" -> "it is essential to regularly monitor updates on natural disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, and typhoons, and to consistently implement safety measures for oneself and one’s family."
    Explanation: Replacing "everyone needs to regularly update news" with "it is essential to regularly monitor updates" and "always learn and implement" with "consistently implement" refines the language to be more formal and precise, suitable for an academic context.

  6. "such as reinforcing slopes and roofs, and stockpiling fresh food." -> "such as reinforcing slopes and roofs, and stockpiling fresh provisions."
    Explanation: Replacing "fresh food" with "fresh provisions" uses a more formal term that is commonly used in academic and professional contexts, enhancing the formality of the language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the topic of natural disasters but does so in a limited manner. While it mentions Typhoon Yagi and its consequences, it fails to provide a comprehensive overview of natural disasters as a whole. The focus is primarily on one event, which does not fully satisfy the prompt’s requirement to describe natural disasters in a broader context. Additionally, the essay does not explore different types of natural disasters or their varied impacts.
    • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the essay should include a variety of natural disasters (e.g., earthquakes, floods, hurricanes) and discuss their characteristics, causes, and effects. A more structured approach that outlines the types of natural disasters and their implications would enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position regarding the importance of being informed about natural disasters and implementing safety measures. However, it lacks a strong, consistent argument throughout. The transition from discussing Typhoon Yagi to general safety measures feels abrupt and could confuse the reader about the main point.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the essay should start with a thesis statement that outlines the main argument or perspective. Each paragraph should then support this thesis, ensuring that the discussion flows logically and consistently. Clear topic sentences and concluding remarks for each section would help reinforce the position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about the consequences of Typhoon Yagi and the importance of safety measures. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with examples or evidence. The mention of "many serious consequences" is vague and lacks detail, which weakens the overall argument.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the essay should include specific examples and statistics related to natural disasters. For instance, discussing the economic impact of a specific disaster or providing data on fatalities would add depth. Additionally, elaborating on safety measures with concrete examples would strengthen the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on the topic of natural disasters, but it occasionally veers off into personal safety measures without fully connecting them back to the broader discussion of natural disasters. The abrupt shift to safety measures feels somewhat disconnected from the initial focus on Typhoon Yagi.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the topic of natural disasters. Each paragraph should clearly connect its ideas to the main theme, and transitions between sections should be smooth and logical. This can be achieved by consistently linking safety measures back to the types of disasters discussed.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim for a broader exploration of natural disasters, maintain a consistent position, provide detailed support for ideas, and ensure all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical order, beginning with a statement about the impact of natural disasters and then focusing on Typhoon Yagi as a specific example. However, the transition from discussing the consequences of the typhoon to the call for preparedness feels abrupt. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which would help frame the discussion and provide closure.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider starting with a brief introduction that outlines the significance of natural disasters and their impacts. Follow this with a structured body that discusses specific examples and consequences, and conclude with a summary of key points or a call to action. This will create a more cohesive narrative.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is presented as a single block of text, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Effective paragraphing is crucial for clarity, as each paragraph should ideally represent a distinct idea or aspect of the topic. In this case, the discussion of Typhoon Yagi and the subsequent safety measures could be separated into different paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Implement clear paragraph breaks to separate different ideas. For instance, one paragraph could focus on the description of Typhoon Yagi and its immediate effects, while another could discuss the broader implications of natural disasters and the importance of preparedness. This will improve readability and help the reader navigate the essay more easily.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore" and "such as," to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, which can hinder the flow of the text. For example, the transition between sentences is often abrupt, and there are opportunities to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," "however," and "consequently." For instance, when transitioning from the consequences of Typhoon Yagi to the discussion of safety measures, using "In light of these consequences, it is crucial that…" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain a cohesive flow throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a better overall score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of natural disasters. Terms like "severe consequences," "landfall," "strong winds," and "homeless" are appropriate and relevant. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "serious consequences" and "many." This repetition limits the overall lexical variety and richness of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeating "serious consequences," you might use "devastating effects," "catastrophic outcomes," or "grave implications." Additionally, including more specific terms related to natural disasters, such as "evacuation," "infrastructure damage," or "displacement," would enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay uses relevant vocabulary, some phrases lack precision. For instance, the phrase "many serious consequences for people" is vague and could be more specific about what those consequences entail. Additionally, the phrase "some who were fortunate enough to survive" could be misinterpreted; it implies that survival is a matter of luck rather than a result of preparedness or resilience.
    • How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by clearly defining the consequences of natural disasters. Instead of saying "many serious consequences," specify what those are, such as "loss of life," "displacement of families," or "economic disruption." This will provide clarity and depth to your argument.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. However, the phrase "Typhoon Yagi, considered one of the most significant storms in recent years made landfall" is missing a comma before "made landfall," which affects the overall readability.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling and punctuation accuracy, consider proofreading your work for grammatical errors and punctuation marks. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing or missing punctuation. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or using spelling apps can further improve accuracy.

By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion. Focus on expanding your vocabulary, using precise language, and ensuring grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of the complex sentence "Many people have died, and some who were fortunate enough to survive found their homes severely damaged by strong winds and landslides" showcases an effective combination of clauses. However, the essay tends to rely on a few structures repetitively, particularly in the use of simple sentences, which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and use different conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of saying "Typhoon Yagi has caused many serious consequences for people," the writer could elaborate by saying, "As a result of Typhoon Yagi, which struck with unprecedented force, many communities have faced dire consequences." This not only adds complexity but also enriches the narrative.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar, with a few notable errors. For instance, the phrase "a leading cause of death.Recently," lacks proper punctuation; there should be a space after the period. Additionally, the sentence "many have become homeless after that typhoon" could be improved by specifying "the typhoon" for clarity. There are also instances of run-on sentences, such as "Typhoon Yagi, considered one of the most significant storms in recent years made landfall in the northern provinces of Vietnam," which should include a comma before "made" to separate the clauses properly.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses and ensure proper spacing after periods. Regular practice with sentence diagramming can help identify where punctuation is needed. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for run-on sentences and correcting them will enhance clarity. For example, breaking down longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones can help maintain the reader’s understanding and engagement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Natural disasters have severe economic impacts and are a significant cause of mortality. Recently, Typhoon Yagi, one of the most significant storms in recent years, made landfall in Vietnam’s northern provinces, resulting in numerous severe consequences. Many people have perished, and those who survived found their homes severely damaged by strong winds and landslides, leading to widespread homelessness. Typhoon Yagi has had numerous serious impacts on the populace. Therefore, it is essential to regularly monitor updates on natural disasters such as earthquakes, landslides, and typhoons, and to consistently implement safety measures for oneself and one’s family, such as reinforcing slopes and roofs, and stockpiling fresh provisions.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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