Despite greater access to school education, many adults today still cannot read or write. How does this affect them in life? What can government do to help them?

Even though the accessibility to education has been improved over the past years, there are still many people who are unable to read or write throughout the world. People lacking the ability to read or write can have some disadvantages, but governments can alleviate the problem by making efforts to help those illiteracies.
To begin with, illiterate people might have to face difficulties with finding their occupations. The fact that almost all today’s jobs require the ability to read and write even the low-paying ones such as miners, or cleaning workers, making literacy become a compulsory requirement. if someone cannot read or write, employers are going to be unwilling to hire that person. Moreover, those people without the capability of reading or writing can be easily exposed to an unfair situation. As they cannot comprehend the law, they are more likely to be located outside the safeguard of law. For instance, when they get unreasonable treatment, it would be even harder to ask for help from authorities than normal people for they are illiterate.
Nevertheless, the current situation can be handled by several proper actions taken by governments. First and foremost, administrations should provide free lessons from basic to a high level. Through this program, people without skills to read or write will become literate, society can also find some talented by educating them. In addition, ministries have to try helping illiterate to be in a fence of law. For instance, tv programs such as quiz shows about some laws people must know can be a way to make illiteracies understand the laws and utilize them.
In conclusion, although there are some issues caused by this phenomenon, suggested measures can be introduced to address the situation. Therefore, the whole society has to pay attention to reducing the number of illiterate.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"accessibility to education" -> "access to education"
Explanation: "Accessibility to education" is a bit redundant as "access" already implies accessibility. Simplifying it to "access to education" maintains clarity and conciseness while adhering to formal academic style.
"over the past years" -> "over the past years"
Explanation: The phrase "over the past years" is vague and informal. A more precise and formal alternative would be "over the past decades" or "in recent years," depending on the specific context.
"People lacking the ability to read or write" -> "Individuals who are illiterate"
Explanation: "Individuals who are illiterate" is more precise and formal than "People lacking the ability to read or write," which is somewhat redundant and informal.
"illiteracies" -> "illiteracy"
Explanation: "Illiteracies" is a plural form that incorrectly implies multiple types of illiteracy. The singular form "illiteracy" is the correct term to refer to the state of being unable to read or write.
"making literacy become a compulsory requirement" -> "making literacy a compulsory requirement"
Explanation: Removing "become" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with the formal style of academic writing.
"if someone cannot read or write, employers are going to be unwilling to hire that person" -> "if an individual is illiterate, employers are likely to be unwilling to hire that person"
Explanation: "If an individual is illiterate" is more precise and formal than "if someone cannot read or write." Additionally, "likely" is more appropriate than "going to be" in formal academic writing.
"can be easily exposed to an unfair situation" -> "are more susceptible to unfair treatment"
Explanation: "Are more susceptible to unfair treatment" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of being vulnerable to unfair situations.
"located outside the safeguard of law" -> "outside the protection of the law"
Explanation: "Outside the protection of the law" is a more formal and accurate phrase than "outside the safeguard of law," which is awkward and less commonly used.
"it would be even harder to ask for help from authorities" -> "it would be even more challenging to seek assistance from authorities"
Explanation: "More challenging to seek assistance" is a more formal and precise expression than "harder to ask for help."
"ministries have to try helping illiterate to be in a fence of law" -> "ministries should strive to educate the illiterate about their legal rights"
Explanation: "Should strive to educate the illiterate about their legal rights" is clearer and more direct than the awkward and unclear "have to try helping illiterate to be in a fence of law."
"tv programs such as quiz shows about some laws people must know" -> "educational television programs, such as quiz shows, that inform viewers about essential laws"
Explanation: "Educational television programs, such as quiz shows, that inform viewers about essential laws" is more formal and precise, improving clarity and specificity.
"suggested measures can be introduced to address the situation" -> "recommended strategies can be implemented to address this issue"
Explanation: "Recommended strategies can be implemented to address this issue" is more formal and precise than "suggested measures can be introduced to address the situation."
"the whole society has to pay attention to reducing the number of illiterate" -> "society as a whole must focus on reducing illiteracy rates"
Explanation: "Society as a whole must focus on reducing illiteracy rates" is more formal and uses the correct term "illiteracy rates" instead of "the number of illiterate," which is less precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt effectively. It discusses the disadvantages faced by illiterate individuals, such as difficulties in finding employment and being vulnerable to unfair treatment. The second part of the prompt, which asks what governments can do to help, is also covered with suggestions for providing free literacy lessons and creating informative TV programs. However, while the essay touches on these points, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the implications of illiteracy and a broader range of solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of how illiteracy affects individuals in various aspects of life, such as health, financial stability, and social participation. Additionally, expanding on the government’s role could involve discussing partnerships with NGOs or community organizations that could help implement literacy programs.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the negative impacts of illiteracy and the necessity for government intervention. The stance is consistent throughout, as the author argues for the need to address these issues. However, the phrasing in some sections could be clearer, particularly in the transition between discussing the problems and the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main thesis. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument and reinforce the position. For example, explicitly stating how each proposed solution directly addresses the issues raised could strengthen the overall coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas, such as the challenges faced by illiterate individuals and potential government actions. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the essay mentions that illiterate individuals struggle to find jobs, it does not provide specific statistics or studies to back this claim. Similarly, the suggestion of TV programs lacks detail on how they would be implemented or their effectiveness.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the author should include more detailed examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the points made. For instance, citing a specific program that has successfully improved literacy rates could provide a stronger foundation for the argument. Additionally, elaborating on how proposed solutions would be executed and their potential impact would strengthen the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the effects of illiteracy and the role of government in addressing these issues. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For example, the phrase "the whole society has to pay attention" in the conclusion is somewhat vague and could detract from the specific focus on government actions.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. Avoiding general statements in the conclusion and instead summarizing the specific actions that governments can take would reinforce the essay’s relevance to the task. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the main question can help maintain focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and provides relevant insights, but it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer transitions, and more robust supporting evidence to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first paragraph outlines the issue of illiteracy, while the subsequent paragraphs discuss its effects and potential solutions. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the difficulties faced by illiterate individuals to the government’s role in addressing these issues could be more seamless. The connection between the problems and solutions is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly link the problems to the solutions. For example, after discussing the difficulties faced by illiterate individuals, a transitional sentence could explicitly state that these challenges necessitate government intervention, thus guiding the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on educational initiatives and the other on legal awareness programs. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each solution and improve clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea, supported by relevant examples. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new solution or aspect of the argument. This will help maintain focus and make the essay easier to follow.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "to begin with," "moreover," and "in addition," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel mechanical rather than natural. For instance, the phrase "Nevertheless, the current situation can be handled by several proper actions taken by governments" could be more fluidly connected to the previous paragraph.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "consequently," and "on the other hand." Additionally, varying sentence structures and using pronouns or synonyms can help create a more cohesive flow. For example, instead of repeating "illiterate people," consider using "these individuals" or "such individuals" to maintain cohesion without redundancy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a stronger performance in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "illiterate," "occupations," and "unreasonable treatment" being appropriate for the topic. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "illiterate" and "literacy," which could have been varied with synonyms or related terms (e.g., "non-readers," "low literacy levels"). Additionally, phrases such as "making literacy become a compulsory requirement" could be expressed more naturally.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "illiterate," they could use "functionally illiterate" or "lacking literacy skills." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises could help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "located outside the safeguard of law" is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "outside the protection of the law." Additionally, "making literacy become a compulsory requirement" is not idiomatic; a more precise expression would be "making literacy a mandatory requirement."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using idiomatic expressions and collocations that are more commonly used in English. Reading more academic or formal texts can help identify these phrases. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also assist in finding more precise language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "illiteracies" (which should be "illiteracy") and "ministries have to try helping illiterate to be in a fence of law" (which should be "to be within the bounds of the law"). These errors can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and reviewing spelling rules can help reduce errors in future essays.

Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as "Even though the accessibility to education has been improved over the past years, there are still many people who are unable to read or write throughout the world." This shows the ability to use subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances of less varied structures, such as the repetitive use of "people" and "illiterate" at the beginning of multiple sentences, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound sentences and use different introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "people," the writer could use phrases like "Those who lack literacy…" or "Individuals facing illiteracy…" to introduce new ideas. Additionally, varying the sentence length can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and coherence. For instance, in the sentence "making literacy become a compulsory requirement," the gerund phrase lacks a clear subject, which can confuse readers. Additionally, the phrase "if someone cannot read or write" should be capitalized at the beginning of the sentence. Punctuation errors include the lack of a comma before "such as miners, or cleaning workers," which disrupts the flow of the sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on ensuring that all clauses are complete and that each sentence has a clear subject and verb. Reviewing the rules of punctuation, particularly regarding the use of commas in lists and before conjunctions, would also be beneficial. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help the writer develop a better understanding of how to create complex sentences while maintaining clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement in sentence variety and grammatical precision. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Even though access to education has improved over the past years, there are still many people who are unable to read or write throughout the world. Individuals who are illiterate can face significant disadvantages, but governments can alleviate the problem by making efforts to help those with illiteracy.

To begin with, illiterate people might have to face difficulties in finding employment. The fact that almost all today’s jobs require the ability to read and write, even low-paying ones such as mining or cleaning, makes literacy a compulsory requirement. If someone cannot read or write, employers are likely to be unwilling to hire that person. Moreover, those without the capability to read or write can be easily exposed to unfair treatment. As they cannot comprehend the law, they are more susceptible to being outside the protection of the law. For instance, when they experience unreasonable treatment, it would be even harder to seek assistance from authorities than for those who are literate.

Nevertheless, the current situation can be addressed by several proper actions taken by governments. First and foremost, administrations should provide free lessons from basic to advanced levels. Through this program, individuals without the skills to read or write will become literate, and society can also discover some talented individuals by educating them. In addition, ministries should strive to educate the illiterate about their legal rights. For instance, educational television programs, such as quiz shows, that inform viewers about essential laws can help those who are illiterate understand the laws and utilize them.

In conclusion, although there are some issues caused by this phenomenon, recommended strategies can be implemented to address the situation. Therefore, society as a whole must focus on reducing illiteracy rates.