Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements, and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Globalization has blurred cultural lines, with people worldwide consuming similar movies, fashion, brands, and TV shows. While this broadens horizons and fosters global exchange, it also risks erasing unique cultural identities and promoting consumerism.

Global cultural exchange can foster commonality and understanding. Famous films or global fashion trends, for instance, allow people to connect through shared aesthetics and themes. Exposure to various media can increase empathy and foster a sense of global citizenship, defined here as cultural awareness and engagement with global issues. Through shared online communities and relatable stories, individuals learn to understand diverse perspectives and feel a greater connection to the world.

However, the dominance of multinational brands threatens cultural diversity, often stifling local craftsmanship. For example, fast fashion has impacted traditional textile industries known for their unique regional styles. The constant pursuit of trendy, marketed goods can create a materialistic culture, reducing appreciation for quality and local distinctiveness. While globalization brings opportunities for cultural exchange, it can also overshadow local cultures and traditions.

Balancing these influences is crucial. Governments can support local businesses and arts through policies promoting traditional crafts or local media, while individuals can seek out unique content and experiences. Encouraging local communities to actively preserve their heritage and traditions strengthens cultural diversity in a globalized world.

Ultimately, as international differences narrow, it’s essential to protect cultural heritage while embracing global awareness. This balance allows us to enjoy globalization’s benefits while preserving what makes each culture unique.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Globalization has blurred cultural lines" -> "Globalization has obfuscated cultural boundaries"
Explanation: The term "obfuscated" is more precise and academically appropriate than "blurred," which can be seen as too casual and vague in this context. "Boundaries" is also a more formal term than "lines."
"people worldwide consuming similar movies, fashion, brands, and TV shows" -> "individuals globally consuming similar cinematic productions, fashion trends, and consumer brands"
Explanation: "Individuals globally" is more formal than "people worldwide," and "cinematic productions," "fashion trends," and "consumer brands" are more specific and academically precise than the more general terms used.
"risks erasing unique cultural identities" -> "poses the risk of erasing unique cultural identities"
Explanation: Adding "poses the risk of" clarifies the potential danger, making the statement more formal and precise.
"famous films or global fashion trends" -> "renowned films or global fashion trends"
Explanation: "Renowned" is a more formal synonym for "famous," fitting better in an academic context.
"allow people to connect through shared aesthetics and themes" -> "enable individuals to connect through shared aesthetic and thematic elements"
Explanation: "Enable" is more formal than "allow," and "aesthetic and thematic elements" is a more precise and academic way to describe the shared aspects of films and fashion.
"foster a sense of global citizenship" -> "promote a sense of global citizenship"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more formal verb than "foster" in this context, aligning better with academic language.
"defined here as cultural awareness and engagement with global issues" -> "defined here as cultural awareness and engagement with global issues, encompassing both cultural understanding and issue-oriented engagement"
Explanation: Adding "encompassing both cultural understanding and issue-oriented engagement" clarifies and expands the definition, enhancing the academic tone.
"Through shared online communities and relatable stories" -> "Through shared online communities and narratives"
Explanation: "Narratives" is a more formal term than "stories," fitting better in an academic context.
"feel a greater connection to the world" -> "develop a deeper connection to the global community"
Explanation: "Develop a deeper connection to the global community" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the growth of connection over a casual "feel."
"the dominance of multinational brands" -> "the prevalence of multinational brands"
Explanation: "Prevalence" is a more formal term than "dominance," which can imply a negative connotation that might not be intended.
"stifling local craftsmanship" -> "superseding local craftsmanship"
Explanation: "Superseding" is a more precise and formal term than "stifling," which can be seen as overly negative and informal.
"reducing appreciation for quality and local distinctiveness" -> "diminishing appreciation for quality and local distinctiveness"
Explanation: "Diminishing" is a more formal synonym for "reducing," aligning better with academic style.
"Balancing these influences is crucial" -> "Achieving a balance between these influences is crucial"
Explanation: "Achieving a balance" is a more formal and precise way to express the need for equilibrium.
"Governments can support local businesses and arts" -> "Governments can support local businesses and artistic endeavors"
Explanation: "Artistic endeavors" is a more formal and encompassing term than "arts," which is somewhat vague.
"Encouraging local communities to actively preserve their heritage and traditions" -> "Encouraging local communities to actively preserve their cultural heritage and traditions"
Explanation: Adding "cultural" before "heritage" clarifies the type of heritage being referred to, enhancing specificity and formality.
"it’s essential to protect cultural heritage" -> "it is essential to safeguard cultural heritage"
Explanation: "Safeguard" is a more formal and precise term than "protect," fitting better in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization on cultural differences. However, it does not explicitly state the extent to which the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, which is a critical component of the task. The essay mentions both sides but lacks a definitive stance or clear argument regarding the balance between the two.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly articulate their position on whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages or vice versa. This could be done by explicitly stating a thesis in the introduction that outlines the writer’s viewpoint and then reinforcing that viewpoint throughout the essay with supporting arguments.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position regarding the impact of globalization on cultural identity, but it lacks consistency in expressing a definitive stance. Phrases like "balancing these influences is crucial" suggest ambivalence rather than a strong position. The conclusion reiterates the importance of both aspects but does not decisively lean towards one side.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should choose a side and maintain that perspective throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using stronger language to assert their viewpoint and ensuring that each paragraph reinforces this stance. For example, stating "the disadvantages significantly outweigh the advantages" in the introduction would provide a clearer framework for the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to cultural exchange and the impact of multinational brands, but the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. While there are examples provided, such as fast fashion impacting traditional textile industries, the essay lacks depth in exploring these examples. The ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with detailed evidence or analysis.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the writer should include more specific examples and elaborate on them. For instance, they could provide statistics on the impact of globalization on local economies or cite specific cultural practices that are at risk. Additionally, integrating counterarguments and addressing them would strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the effects of globalization on cultural differences. However, some sections, particularly the conclusion, introduce ideas about government policy and individual responsibility without directly tying them back to the central question of advantages versus disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every paragraph directly relates back to the prompt. Each point made should clearly connect to the question of whether the disadvantages of globalization outweigh the advantages. This can be achieved by revisiting the prompt in each paragraph and ensuring that all ideas contribute to answering that question.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should clearly state their position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of globalization, develop their ideas with more depth and specific examples, and ensure that all content remains tightly focused on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, with the first discussing the advantages of globalization and the second addressing its disadvantages. The conclusion effectively synthesizes the main points and reiterates the importance of balance. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in focus, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely." Additionally, integrating a brief summary of the advantages before transitioning to the disadvantages could provide a clearer contrast and improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific points, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly reflect the main idea being discussed. For example, the second body paragraph could start with a sentence that explicitly states the negative impact of globalization on cultural diversity, which would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "however," and "ultimately," which help to connect ideas and maintain flow. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but there are moments where repetition occurs, particularly with phrases like "cultural diversity" and "globalization."
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "cultural diversity," you could use "cultural variety" or "cultural richness." Additionally, incorporating more linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," or "as a result," can enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall performance in the IELTS Task 2 writing assessment.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong command of a wide range of vocabulary. Terms such as "globalization," "cultural exchange," "consumerism," and "materialistic culture" are effectively employed to convey complex ideas. The use of phrases like "blurred cultural lines" and "shared aesthetics and themes" showcases the writer’s ability to articulate nuanced thoughts. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are moments where more specific or sophisticated synonyms could enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: To further improve, the writer could incorporate more advanced vocabulary or idiomatic expressions. For instance, instead of "blurred cultural lines," using "diluted cultural boundaries" could add depth. Additionally, exploring synonyms for "impact" such as "influence" or "effect" could diversify the language even more.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "global citizenship" and "cultural awareness" being well-defined within the context. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the constant pursuit of trendy, marketed goods" could be perceived as slightly vague; it might benefit from a more specific descriptor of what "trendy" entails in this context.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to provide clearer definitions or examples when using broad terms. For instance, instead of saying "trendy, marketed goods," specifying what types of goods (e.g., "fast fashion items" or "mass-produced consumer products") would clarify the message. Additionally, ensuring that each term used aligns closely with the intended meaning will strengthen the overall argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "globalization," "consumerism," and "distinctiveness" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer’s attention to detail. This level of accuracy contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or engaging in peer reviews can help catch any potential errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can bolster confidence in spelling.

Overall, the essay is well-crafted with a strong lexical resource that effectively communicates the complexities of globalization and cultural identity. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can achieve an even higher level of proficiency in their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While this broadens horizons and fosters global exchange, it also risks erasing unique cultural identities and promoting consumerism" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "while globalization brings opportunities for cultural exchange, it can also overshadow local cultures and traditions," showcases the writer’s ability to express hypothetical scenarios. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly in the second paragraph, where several sentences start with "For example" or "However," which slightly detracts from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly using "For example," alternative phrases like "A case in point is…" or "This is illustrated by…" could be employed. Additionally, varying the length of sentences—mixing shorter, impactful statements with longer, more complex constructions—can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "the dominance of multinational brands threatens cultural diversity" is grammatically correct and effectively communicates the idea. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses, as seen in "While this broadens horizons and fosters global exchange, it also risks erasing unique cultural identities." However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas in lists; for example, "movies, fashion, brands, and TV shows" correctly uses the Oxford comma, but the phrase "cultural awareness and engagement with global issues" could benefit from clearer separation if additional items were added.
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread for minor errors and ensure consistency in punctuation, especially in lists. Practicing the rules of comma usage, particularly in complex sentences and lists, will enhance clarity. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical structures and their correct usage can help solidify the writer’s command of the language, ensuring that even the most complex ideas are conveyed with precision.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With targeted improvements in sentence variety and meticulous attention to punctuation, the writer can further elevate their writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

Globalization has obfuscated cultural boundaries, with individuals globally consuming similar films, fashion, brands, and TV shows. While this phenomenon broadens horizons and fosters global exchange, it also poses the risk of erasing unique cultural identities and promoting consumerism.

Global cultural exchange can foster commonality and understanding. Renowned films or global fashion trends, for instance, enable individuals to connect through shared aesthetic and thematic elements. Exposure to various media can increase empathy and promote a sense of global citizenship, defined here as cultural awareness and engagement with global issues, encompassing both cultural understanding and issue-oriented engagement. Through shared online communities and narratives, individuals learn to appreciate diverse perspectives and develop a deeper connection to the global community.

However, the prevalence of multinational brands threatens cultural diversity, often superseding local craftsmanship. For example, fast fashion has significantly impacted traditional textile industries known for their unique regional styles. The constant pursuit of trendy, marketed goods can create a materialistic culture, diminishing appreciation for quality and local distinctiveness. While globalization brings opportunities for cultural exchange, it can also overshadow local cultures and traditions.

Achieving a balance between these influences is crucial. Governments can support local businesses and artistic endeavors through policies that promote traditional crafts or local media, while individuals can actively seek out unique content and experiences. Encouraging local communities to preserve their cultural heritage and traditions strengthens cultural diversity in a globalized world.

Ultimately, as international differences narrow, it is essential to safeguard cultural heritage while embracing global awareness. This balance allows us to enjoy the benefits of globalization while preserving what makes each culture unique.