do you like art ?

do you like art ?

that’s interesting,it depend on what.I like to go to cinema,for instance,watch movie or listen my favorite music,but i don’t know to much about painting or moderm art so i’m not too familiar with that activity,so i don’t like it

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "that’s interesting,it depend on what" -> "That is interesting, it depends on what"
   Explanation: Correcting the contraction "that’s" to "That is" and the verb "depend" to "depends" aligns with formal writing standards and corrects grammatical errors.

2. "I like to go to cinema,for instance,watch movie or listen my favorite music" -> "I prefer to visit the cinema, for example, to watch movies or listen to my favorite music"
   Explanation: Replacing "I like to go to cinema" with "I prefer to visit the cinema" uses a more formal verb and noun. Also, "watch movie" should be "watch movies" to match the plural form of "music," and "listen my favorite music" should be "listen to my favorite music" to correct the preposition usage.

3. "but i don’t know to much about painting or moderm art so i’m not too familiar with that activity,so i don’t like it" -> "However, I am not well-versed in painting or modern art, so I am not familiar with that activity, and therefore I do not enjoy it"
   Explanation: Replacing "but" with "However" introduces a more formal transition. "I don’t know to much" should be "I am not well-versed in" for grammatical correctness and formality. "Moderm" should be "modern" for spelling correction. "I’m not too familiar with that activity,so i don’t like it" is rephrased to "I am not familiar with that activity, and therefore I do not enjoy it" to improve clarity and maintain a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to respond to the prompt, "Do you like art?" but does not fully address the question. While the writer mentions a preference for cinema and music, they fail to provide a clear answer regarding their feelings about art as a whole. The response is vague and lacks specific references to what aspects of art they might like or dislike, particularly in relation to visual arts.
  • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should explicitly state their opinion on art in general, providing specific examples of what types of art they appreciate or do not appreciate. A more structured response that clearly delineates their likes and dislikes would enhance the completeness of the answer.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The position presented in the essay is somewhat unclear. The writer starts by suggesting that they like certain forms of art (cinema and music) but then shifts to a negative stance regarding painting and modern art. This inconsistency can confuse the reader about the writer’s overall position on art.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should start with a definitive statement about their feelings toward art, followed by supporting details. For instance, they could say, "I enjoy certain forms of art, such as cinema and music, but I do not appreciate painting or modern art." This would create a more coherent argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a few ideas but does not extend or support them effectively. The mention of cinema and music is a good start, but the lack of elaboration on why these forms are preferred over painting leaves the reader wanting more. The ideas are underdeveloped and lack depth.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should elaborate on their preferences. For example, they could discuss specific movies or songs they enjoy and explain why they find them appealing. This would provide a richer context and strengthen the overall argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay does not consistently stay on topic. While it begins by addressing the question of liking art, it quickly diverges into a discussion about personal preferences for cinema and music without adequately tying these back to the broader concept of art.
  • How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should ensure that all parts of their response relate back to the question of art. They could introduce their preferences for cinema and music as forms of art but should clarify how these fit into their overall view of art. Keeping the focus on the prompt will help maintain relevance throughout the essay.

In summary, to improve the overall score, the writer should aim to provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt, maintain a clear and consistent position, develop their ideas with specific examples, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the topic of art.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion on art, but the organization of ideas is somewhat unclear. The initial statement, "that’s interesting, it depend on what," lacks a clear introduction to the topic. The transition from discussing cinema and music to painting and modern art is abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer’s line of thought. For example, the phrase "but i don’t know to much about painting or moderm art" does not effectively connect to the previous sentence about cinema and music.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should start with a clear introductory sentence that outlines their general view on art. Following this, the writer should separate different forms of art into distinct sentences or paragraphs, clearly linking each type back to the main argument. For instance, the writer could say, "While I enjoy cinema and music, I find myself less engaged with painting and modern art." This would create a clearer structure and flow.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is presented as a single block of text without any paragraph breaks. This makes it challenging to identify distinct ideas or themes. Effective paragraphing helps to separate different points and improves readability. The lack of paragraphs contributes to the overall confusion in the essay.
  • How to improve: The writer should use paragraphs to separate different ideas. For example, one paragraph could focus on the enjoyment of cinema and music, while another could discuss the lack of familiarity with painting and modern art. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of that section, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the point.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which are essential for linking ideas and ensuring a smooth flow of information. Phrases like "for instance" are used, but there are few other cohesive devices to connect sentences or ideas. The use of "but" introduces contrast, but the overall lack of variety in cohesive devices results in a choppy reading experience.
  • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, they could use "however," "on the other hand," "in addition," and "furthermore" to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, using pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can help maintain coherence. For instance, after mentioning cinema, the writer could say, "This form of art captivates me because…" to reinforce the connection between sentences.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing their ideas logically, utilizing effective paragraphing, and employing a broader range of cohesive devices. These improvements will enhance the clarity and flow of the essay, making it easier for the reader to understand the writer’s perspective on art.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 4

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used in the essay is quite limited. Phrases like "go to cinema," "watch movie," and "listen my favorite music" indicate a basic level of vocabulary. The use of "interesting" is a positive note, but overall, the range does not extend beyond common phrases. Additionally, terms related to art, such as "painting" and "modern art," are mentioned, but the lack of synonyms or related vocabulary restricts the expression of ideas.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of "go to cinema," they could use "attend a film screening" or "watch a movie at the theater." Incorporating more varied expressions related to art, such as "visual arts," "contemporary art," or "artistic expression," would also enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "it depend on what" should be "it depends on what." The phrase "i don’t know to much about painting" should be "I don’t know much about painting." Such errors indicate a lack of attention to grammatical details, which affects the clarity of the message.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammar and the correct forms of words. Practicing sentence structure and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help. Additionally, using phrases like "I have limited knowledge of painting" instead of "I don’t know too much about painting" would convey the message more clearly.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "depend" (should be "depends"), "to much" (should be "much"), and "moderm" (should be "modern"). These mistakes detract from the overall quality of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps using flashcards or spelling apps. Reading more extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can catch and correct these errors.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary, using words more precisely, and improving spelling accuracy. Regular practice and exposure to varied language contexts will be beneficial in this regard.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay primarily employs simple sentence structures, which limits the range of grammatical forms. For example, the sentence "I like to go to cinema, for instance, watch movie or listen my favorite music" consists of a series of simple clauses linked by commas, lacking complex or compound structures. The use of "that’s interesting" as an introductory phrase is a good attempt at variety, but it is not developed further in the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine clauses. For instance, instead of saying "I like to go to cinema," they could say, "Although I enjoy going to the cinema, I find myself less interested in painting or modern art." This not only adds complexity but also improves coherence and flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "it depend on what" should be "it depends on what," indicating a subject-verb agreement error. Additionally, the phrase "to cinema" is missing an article and should be "to the cinema." The punctuation is also problematic; there are missing spaces after commas, and the overall structure lacks clarity. For instance, "that’s interesting,it depend on what" should be separated into clearer sentences with appropriate punctuation.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage and spacing to ensure clarity in their writing. Reading more complex texts can also help in understanding how punctuation is used effectively in various contexts.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Regular practice and exposure to well-structured writing can significantly enhance these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

That’s interesting; it depends on what. I prefer to visit the cinema, for example, to watch movies or listen to my favorite music. However, I am not well-versed in painting or modern art, so I am not familiar with that activity, and therefore I do not enjoy it.