Do you think decision-making skills are necessary for employees? Why?
Do you think decision-making skills are necessary for employees? Why?
In this day and age, some are of the belief that employee should have decision-making skills. I totally agree with this opinion based on several reasons I will elaborate in this essay.
To begin with, there are some rationales demostrating that having decision-making skills is beneficial for employees at work. It is evident that individuals who have good decision-making skills can be easily successful in their career path. This is because when they encounter some sudden problems and challenges, they can quickly make decisions to resovle these. This helps them save time and energy. In addition, in order to choose the best option, they have to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of each choice to effectively deal with problems, creating them the opportunity to cultivate analytical skills and problem-solving. For example, when I was a newbie at BAC company, I didn’t have skills and experience at work. Thus, I couldn’t handle some immediate issues when working. One of these was that my customer complained with me about my company’s product although it was good and durable, and I didn’t know what to do. As a result, my company’s sales was decreased. Therefore, I realized that I had to have good decision-making skills to work well.
Moreover, decision-making skills bring about tremendous benefits for employees in personal growth. Indeed, those who have ability to well decide can foster leadership and self-confidence. This is because when they are managers or leaders, they have to have strategic planning to lead their team and anticipate the future challenges and chances to efficiently sovle and hold respectively. This can increase their team’s productivity and morale if they can overcome such issues and hold successfully opportunities, leading to enhanced confidence.
In contrast, those who don’t have good decision-making skills will encounter some obstacles. Firstly, they can not deal with sudden challenges in the short time, making them feel bored and frustrated. Secondly, they can not opt for the best choice in every situation, making them lose potential chances. As a result, it is challenging for them to effectively work, get promotion and be successful in job.
In conclusion, decision-making skills are advantageous for employees in their work and personal growth because it can facilitate the way they toward success in career path.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a somewhat informal and clichéd expression. "Currently" is more concise and maintains an academic tone. -
"employee should have decision-making skills" -> "employees should possess decision-making skills"
Explanation: "Employee" should be pluralized to "employees" to match the context of a general statement. "Possess" is more formal than "have" in this context. -
"I totally agree with this opinion" -> "I strongly concur with this viewpoint"
Explanation: "Totally agree" is informal and somewhat colloquial. "Strongly concur" is more formal and precise. -
"based on several reasons I will elaborate in this essay" -> "based on the reasons that I will elaborate on in this essay"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured. The revised version clarifies the structure and maintains formal tone. -
"demostrating" -> "demonstrating"
Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction. -
"can be easily successful" -> "can readily achieve success"
Explanation: "Easily successful" is awkward and informal. "Readily achieve success" is more formal and precise. -
"quickly make decisions to resovle these" -> "swiftly make decisions to resolve these"
Explanation: "Resovle" is a typographical error. "Swiftly" is more formal than "quickly" in this context. -
"creating them the opportunity" -> "providing them with the opportunity"
Explanation: "Creating them the opportunity" is grammatically incorrect. "Providing them with the opportunity" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"I didn’t have skills and experience at work" -> "I lacked the necessary skills and experience"
Explanation: "Didn’t have" is informal and vague. "Lacked the necessary skills and experience" is more precise and formal. -
"my company’s sales was decreased" -> "our company’s sales decreased"
Explanation: "Was decreased" is grammatically incorrect. "Decreased" should be used as a verb, and "our" is more appropriate than "my" in a formal context. -
"those who have ability to well decide" -> "those who have the ability to make decisions effectively"
Explanation: "Ability to well decide" is awkward and unclear. "The ability to make decisions effectively" is clearer and more formal. -
"can foster leadership and self-confidence" -> "can foster leadership and enhance self-confidence"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise than "foster" in this context, indicating a strengthening of self-confidence. -
"can not deal with sudden challenges in the short time" -> "cannot address sudden challenges promptly"
Explanation: "Can not" is informal and "in the short time" is vague. "Cannot address promptly" is more direct and formal. -
"making them feel bored and frustrated" -> "resulting in feelings of boredom and frustration"
Explanation: "Making them feel" is informal and less precise. "Resulting in feelings of" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"get promotion and be successful in job" -> "achieve promotions and succeed in their careers"
Explanation: "Get promotion" and "be successful in job" are informal and vague. "Achieve promotions and succeed in their careers" is more formal and specific.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by stating that decision-making skills are necessary for employees and providing reasons to support this viewpoint. The author discusses the benefits of decision-making skills in the workplace and personal growth, which aligns well with the question. However, the essay could have been strengthened by explicitly stating the importance of decision-making skills in various job roles or industries, which would provide a more comprehensive answer.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include specific examples from different professions or sectors that highlight how decision-making skills impact employee performance. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments or acknowledging situations where decision-making skills might not be as critical could provide a more balanced perspective.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that decision-making skills are essential for employees. The use of phrases like "I totally agree" establishes the writer’s stance early on. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, which could more explicitly restate the importance of decision-making skills.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should ensure that each paragraph ties back to the main argument. Reiterating the thesis in the conclusion and summarizing the key points would help reinforce the position throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about the benefits of decision-making skills, such as career success and personal growth. However, some points lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the example about the author’s experience at BAC company is relevant but could be expanded to illustrate the consequences of poor decision-making more vividly.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating statistics, quotes from experts, or additional personal anecdotes could enhance the persuasiveness of the arguments. Each point should be developed with sufficient detail to fully convey its significance.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the necessity of decision-making skills for employees. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the section discussing personal growth could be more directly linked to how these skills specifically benefit employees in their roles rather than general leadership qualities.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the prompt. Using topic sentences that clearly connect back to the main argument can help keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, avoiding tangential points that do not directly support the thesis will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and presents relevant arguments, but it could benefit from more depth, clearer connections, and a more comprehensive approach to addressing all aspects of the question.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of the necessity of decision-making skills for employees. The introduction effectively states the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs are structured to support this stance. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of decision-making skills in a professional context, while the second body paragraph addresses personal growth. However, the logical flow could be improved as some ideas, such as the example from the writer’s personal experience, could be better integrated into the argument rather than appearing somewhat isolated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, linking sentences between paragraphs can help to create a smoother transition from one point to the next. For example, after discussing professional benefits, explicitly state how these skills also contribute to personal growth to create a more cohesive argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The division between the discussion of professional and personal benefits is clear. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to ensure that each point is thoroughly explored. For example, the paragraph discussing personal growth could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration on how decision-making skills enhance leadership.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations. Consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible parts. For instance, the paragraph on personal growth could be split into two: one focusing on leadership and the other on self-confidence, allowing for a deeper exploration of each concept.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "to begin with," "in addition," and "moreover," which help to signal the progression of ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, phrases like "this is because" and "as a result" are used, but the essay could benefit from more varied expressions to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, consider using "furthermore," "consequently," or "on the other hand" to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms can help to avoid repetition and maintain the flow of the essay. For example, instead of repeating "decision-making skills," you could use "these skills" or "such abilities" in subsequent references.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall quality of the argument presented.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "decision-making skills," "beneficial," "analyze," and "obstacles." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, the phrase "decision-making skills" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "good decision-making skills" and "successful in their career path" could be expressed in more varied ways to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "decision-making skills," alternatives like "judgment abilities," "critical thinking skills," or "problem-solving capabilities" could be employed. Furthermore, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "strategic decision-making" or "analytical prowess," would elevate the lexical resource.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "demonstrating that having decision-making skills is beneficial" could be more accurately expressed as "illustrating the advantages of possessing decision-making skills." Additionally, the use of "sovle" instead of "solve" indicates a lack of precision in spelling, which affects the clarity of the message. The phrase "hold successfully opportunities" is also awkward and unclear.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and correctness. For instance, instead of "hold successfully opportunities," a more precise phrase could be "capitalize on opportunities effectively." Furthermore, proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring that vocabulary fits the context will enhance the overall clarity.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "demostrating" (demonstrating), "resovle" (resolve), "sovle" (solve), and "can not" (cannot). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader. The presence of these mistakes suggests that the writer may not have thoroughly reviewed their work before submission.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. This could include reading the essay aloud to catch errors, using spell-check tools, or writing drafts and revising them after a break to gain a fresh perspective. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used words in academic writing can help reduce errors in future essays.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "I totally agree with this opinion based on several reasons I will elaborate in this essay." are effectively used, but there is a reliance on similar structures throughout the essay. Complex sentences are present, such as "This is because when they encounter some sudden problems and challenges, they can quickly make decisions to resolve these," but they could be more varied. The use of conditional structures is limited, and there are few compound-complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex and compound sentences. For example, combining ideas using conjunctions (e.g., "Although decision-making skills are crucial, many employees struggle to develop them due to a lack of training") can add variety. Additionally, using different sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases or dependent clauses) can create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "some are of the belief that employee should have decision-making skills" should be "employees should have decision-making skills." The phrase "demostrating" is a misspelling of "demonstrating," and "resovle" is incorrectly spelled as "resolve." Punctuation is generally correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can help identify mistakes before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practicing sentence structure exercises can reinforce correct grammar usage. For instance, the phrase "my company’s sales was decreased" should be corrected to "my company’s sales decreased" to maintain proper verb tense and structure. Regular writing practice, along with feedback from peers or instructors, can also help in identifying and correcting these errors over time.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of structures used and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
In this day and age, some are of the belief that employees should have decision-making skills. I strongly concur with this viewpoint based on several reasons that I will elaborate on in this essay.
To begin with, there are some rationales demonstrating that having decision-making skills is beneficial for employees at work. It is evident that individuals who have good decision-making skills can readily achieve success in their career path. This is because when they encounter sudden problems and challenges, they can swiftly make decisions to resolve these. This helps them save time and energy. In addition, in order to choose the best option, they have to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of each choice to effectively deal with problems, providing them with the opportunity to cultivate analytical skills and problem-solving abilities. For example, when I was a newbie at BAC company, I lacked the necessary skills and experience at work. Thus, I couldn’t handle some immediate issues while working. One of these was when my customer complained to me about my company’s product, although it was good and durable, and I didn’t know what to do. As a result, our company’s sales decreased. Therefore, I realized that I had to develop good decision-making skills to work well.
Moreover, decision-making skills bring about tremendous benefits for employees in personal growth. Indeed, those who have the ability to make decisions effectively can foster leadership and enhance self-confidence. This is because when they are managers or leaders, they need to have strategic planning to lead their team and anticipate future challenges and opportunities to efficiently solve problems and seize opportunities. This can increase their team’s productivity and morale if they can overcome such issues and successfully hold opportunities, leading to enhanced confidence.
In contrast, those who don’t have good decision-making skills will encounter obstacles. Firstly, they cannot address sudden challenges promptly, making them feel bored and frustrated. Secondly, they cannot opt for the best choice in every situation, causing them to lose potential chances. As a result, it is challenging for them to work effectively, achieve promotions, and succeed in their careers.
In conclusion, decision-making skills are advantageous for employees in their work and personal growth because they facilitate the way toward success in their career path.