Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities.
What problems can this cause?
How can these problems be resolved?

The tourism industry is currently in a major struggle with a rising problematic concern, which is eco-tourism. Due to the characteristics of this kind of tourism, tourists will visit remote and vulnerable ecosystems, causing detrimental consequences to the residents and the flora and fauna there. This essay will discuss both the problems and solutions for this alarming concern.

Recently, the number of eco-tours has increased more rapidly than ever, which directly puts more negative pressure on the cultural identity of the sightseeing areas. Mass tourism in tourism sites may result in an intensive demand for dwelling places as well as travel services such as restaurants, souvenir shops, cafes, clubs,…, urging the incumbent authorities of the region to build more accommodations and places of interest. As a consequence, the surrounding environment will inevitably be affected whether it is severe or not. Moreover, the myriads of tourists might distort the local people's understanding of developing tourism. In lieu of striving to preserve traditional values by the sources of capital from places of entertainment, the residents reverse and heed more for the income from the industry’s services. Taking Cat Cat mountain hamlets and villages in Sapa town as an example, the misleading mindset of the local people about tourism led to a downward transformation, leading to the fact that tourists would hardly see the cultural features of the location nowadays.

To resolve the aforementioned problems, it is believed that there should exist stringent policies on the tourism industry of each area. Firstly, the region should be divided into different parts following their utilization, some may be specialized for preserving the culture and others are for modern entertainment spots. This would not only affirm the conservation of the local culture but also be advantageous for the development of modern entertainment spots. Furthermore, in advance of the target of eco-tourism, tourists and travel agencies should both compromise on a contract as insurance for the risk and danger from the visit toward the landscapes. In detail, the contract may prohibit any deleterious impact on the local area together with reasonable punishment such as fine or canceling the tour when the contract is not obeyed. For example, there have been a plethora of strict rules created by the authority of Son Doong Cave to ensure that the visitor will utterly do nothing harmful to the sightseeing interest.

To conclude, eco-tourism in remote areas may raise several problems such as the pressure on the cultural identity of the destination or the unmanageable development of entertainment services. Nevertheless, enacting strict policies on tourism and creating agreements between tourists and travel agencies may be practical solutions for the above concerns.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"is currently in a major struggle with a rising problematic concern" -> "is currently grappling with a significant concern"
Explanation: The phrase "in a major struggle with" is somewhat informal and vague. "Grappling with" is more precise and academically appropriate, conveying the idea of actively addressing a challenge.
"eco-tourism" -> "ecotourism"
Explanation: "Eco-tourism" is the preferred term in academic and professional contexts, as it is the standard spelling.
"will visit remote and vulnerable ecosystems" -> "visit remote and vulnerable ecosystems"
Explanation: Removing "will" makes the sentence more direct and assertive, aligning better with formal academic style.
"causing detrimental consequences" -> "resulting in detrimental consequences"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is more precise and formal than "causing," which is slightly less specific in this context.
"the number of eco-tours has increased more rapidly than ever" -> "the number of ecotourism activities has increased at an unprecedented rate"
Explanation: "At an unprecedented rate" is more specific and formal than "more rapidly than ever," which is somewhat colloquial.
"Mass tourism in tourism sites" -> "Mass tourism in tourist destinations"
Explanation: "Tourist destinations" is a more precise term than "tourism sites," which is somewhat redundant.
"urgings the incumbent authorities" -> "urging the incumbent authorities"
Explanation: "Urgings" is incorrect; "urging" is the correct verb form needed here.
"the myriads of tourists" -> "the multitude of tourists"
Explanation: "Myriads" is an archaic term and less commonly used; "multitude" is more contemporary and appropriate for formal writing.
"distort the local people’s understanding" -> "alter the local residents’ perceptions"
Explanation: "Alter the local residents’ perceptions" is more precise and formal than "distort the local people’s understanding."
"the misleading mindset of the local people" -> "the misguided perspectives of the local residents"
Explanation: "Misguided perspectives" is more specific and academically suitable than "misleading mindset."
"downward transformation" -> "negative transformation"
Explanation: "Negative transformation" is clearer and more direct than "downward transformation," which is less commonly used in this context.
"hardly see the cultural features" -> "rarely observe the cultural features"
Explanation: "Rarely observe" is more formal and precise than "hardly see," which is somewhat informal.
"there should exist stringent policies" -> "there should be stringent policies"
Explanation: "Be" is the correct auxiliary verb for the passive construction here, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.
"in advance of the target of eco-tourism" -> "prior to the implementation of ecotourism"
Explanation: "Prior to the implementation of ecotourism" is more specific and formal, clarifying the timing and context of policy development.
"compromise on a contract" -> "agree to a contract"
Explanation: "Agree to a contract" is more direct and formal than "compromise on a contract," which can imply a less formal negotiation.
"deleterious impact" -> "harmful impact"
Explanation: "Harmful" is a more straightforward and commonly used term in formal writing compared to "deleterious," which is less common and may be considered overly formal or archaic.
"canceling the tour" -> "cancelling the tour"
Explanation: "Cancelling" is the correct spelling in British English, which is often used in formal and academic contexts.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying problems caused by eco-tourism and suggesting solutions. The problems discussed include the negative impact on local cultures and the environmental strain due to increased tourism. The solutions proposed, such as implementing stringent policies and creating contracts between tourists and travel agencies, are relevant and practical. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection to the indigenous communities mentioned in the prompt, as their specific challenges are not thoroughly explored.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that all aspects of the prompt are explicitly addressed. This could involve discussing how eco-tourism affects indigenous cultures specifically, perhaps by including examples of cultural erosion or loss of traditional practices. Additionally, the solutions could be expanded to include community involvement in decision-making processes to empower local populations.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the negative impacts of eco-tourism and the necessity for solutions. The introduction outlines the concerns succinctly, and the conclusion reiterates the main points effectively. However, there are moments where the argument could be more cohesive, particularly in the transition between discussing problems and solutions, which can lead to slight confusion about the overall stance.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the problems to the proposed solutions. For example, after discussing a problem, a phrase like "To counteract this issue, it is essential to…" would help guide the reader more smoothly through the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to the problems and solutions of eco-tourism. The use of specific examples, such as the situation in Sapa and the regulations at Son Doong Cave, adds depth to the discussion. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, while the mention of cultural identity is significant, the essay does not delve deeply into how this identity is specifically threatened or how it can be preserved beyond policy suggestions.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on key points with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing the specific cultural practices that are at risk and how they can be preserved would provide a more comprehensive view. Additionally, integrating statistical data or research findings could further substantiate the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the impacts of eco-tourism and potential solutions. However, there are instances where the discussion veers slightly off course, particularly in the elaboration of the problems, where the focus on environmental impacts could be more tightly linked to the cultural implications mentioned in the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain a sharper focus on the topic, the writer should regularly refer back to the prompt throughout the essay. A good strategy is to outline the main points in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph ties back to these points. This will help keep the discussion relevant and aligned with the prompt’s requirements.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and effectively addresses the prompt, but there are opportunities for improvement in depth, clarity, and focus.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the main issues and a conclusion that summarizes the key points. The problems associated with eco-tourism are discussed in a logical sequence, starting with the impact on local cultures and followed by potential solutions. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother, particularly when moving from the discussion of problems to solutions. For instance, the shift from the negative impacts of tourism to the proposed policies could benefit from a clearer linking phrase to guide the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing the problems, a phrase like "To address these challenges," could serve as a bridge to the solutions section. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence can help reinforce the logical organization of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first paragraph introduces the issue, the second discusses problems, and the third offers solutions. However, the second paragraph is quite lengthy and could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the cultural impacts and another on the environmental consequences. This would make the essay easier to follow and allow for a more in-depth exploration of each issue.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph contains a manageable amount of information. Consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs, each with a clear focus. This will enhance readability and allow for more detailed analysis within each section.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "moreover," "firstly," and "to conclude," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the phrase "to resolve the aforementioned problems" is somewhat formal and could be varied to maintain reader engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases that convey similar meanings. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "moreover," you might use "in addition" or "furthermore." Additionally, using pronouns and referencing back to previous ideas can create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing overall cohesion.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of eco-tourism. Words and phrases such as "detrimental consequences," "vulnerable ecosystems," and "cultural identity" showcase an ability to use topic-specific language effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "tourism" and "tourists" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "tourists," alternatives like "visitors," "travelers," or "eco-tourists" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary or idiomatic expressions could elevate the essay’s lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the misleading mindset of the local people about tourism" could be clearer. The term "misleading" may not fully capture the complexity of the local people’s perceptions; "misconceptions" or "misunderstandings" might be more appropriate. Additionally, the phrase "the incumbent authorities of the region" could be simplified to "local authorities" for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on choosing words that convey the intended meaning more clearly. This could involve using a thesaurus to find more suitable alternatives or consulting context-specific terminology. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also help in developing a more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with only minor errors. However, there are instances of punctuation that detract from clarity, such as the use of "cafes, clubs,…," which is unconventional and may confuse readers. The ellipsis is not necessary and should be replaced with a more standard punctuation mark.
- How to improve: To improve spelling and punctuation accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on common spelling errors and punctuation rules. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar-checking software can also aid in identifying mistakes. Additionally, practicing writing and revising essays can help reinforce correct spelling and punctuation habits.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "which directly puts more negative pressure on the cultural identity of the sightseeing areas" and "the misleading mindset of the local people about tourism led to a downward transformation" showcases the ability to construct complex ideas. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "the surrounding environment will inevitably be affected whether it is severe or not" could be rephrased for clarity and impact.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence beginnings and use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Although eco-tourism can provide economic benefits, it often leads to cultural degradation") can add variety. Additionally, using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Rarely have we seen such a rapid increase in eco-tourism") could also enrich the writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "which is eco-tourism" is somewhat awkward and could be better expressed as "which pertains to eco-tourism." Additionally, the use of ellipses in "cafes, clubs,…," is incorrect; ellipses should not be used in this context. Furthermore, there are some issues with article usage, such as "the tourism industry" versus "tourism industry," which can lead to slight confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence clarity and punctuation. Reviewing the rules for article usage and ensuring that punctuation marks are used correctly will enhance the overall quality. For example, replacing ellipses with a more appropriate conjunction or punctuation (e.g., "cafes, clubs, and other amenities") would be more effective. Additionally, proofreading for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage, can help achieve a higher level of accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The tourism industry is currently grappling with a significant concern, which is eco-tourism. Due to the characteristics of this kind of tourism, tourists visit remote and vulnerable ecosystems, causing detrimental consequences to the residents and the flora and fauna there. This essay will discuss both the problems and solutions for this alarming concern.

Recently, the number of eco-tours has increased at an unprecedented rate, which directly puts more negative pressure on the cultural identity of the sightseeing areas. Mass tourism in tourist destinations may result in an intensive demand for dwelling places as well as travel services such as restaurants, souvenir shops, cafes, and clubs, urging the incumbent authorities of the region to build more accommodations and places of interest. As a consequence, the surrounding environment will inevitably be affected, whether it is severe or not. Moreover, the multitude of tourists might distort the local residents’ perceptions of developing tourism. Instead of striving to preserve traditional values through capital from places of entertainment, the residents reverse and heed more for the income from the industry’s services. Taking Cat Cat mountain hamlets and villages in Sapa town as an example, the misguided perspectives of the local residents about tourism have led to a negative transformation, resulting in the fact that tourists rarely observe the cultural features of the location nowadays.

To resolve the aforementioned problems, it is believed that there should be stringent policies on the tourism industry of each area. Firstly, the region should be divided into different parts according to their utilization; some may be specialized for preserving the culture while others are for modern entertainment spots. This would not only affirm the conservation of the local culture but also be advantageous for the development of modern entertainment spots. Furthermore, prior to the implementation of eco-tourism, tourists and travel agencies should both agree to a contract as insurance for the risks and dangers from the visit to the landscapes. In detail, the contract may prohibit any harmful impact on the local area together with reasonable punishments such as fines or cancelling the tour when the contract is not obeyed. For example, there have been a plethora of strict rules created by the authorities of Son Doong Cave to ensure that visitors will do nothing harmful to the sightseeing interest.