Eco-tourism usually involves people visiting remote areas. Some people think this will have a negative impact on local cultures and communities. What problems can result from ecotourism? What measures can be taken to protect local culture and communities?

It is argued that the eco-tourism which allows visitors to travel to remote places will be detrimental to the cultures and the life of local communities living there. This tendency can lead to the loss of cultural heritage and increased cost of living. However, these problems can be tackled by public’s awareness and government regulations.

As the eco-tourism become increasingly popular, several issues can be anticipated. First and foremost, this kind of tourism can pose a serious threat to the culture identity in remote areas. This is because the aim to make profit from this potential industry, many people tend to be commercialize the products and services in those place. For example, instead of selling traditional handcraft, which contain valuable meanings, the mass production of different goods develop to meet the growing demands of visitors. Another reason lies in the changes of local life due to eco-tourism. An illustrative example in this case is some ancient towns that are popular with a tranquil and quite environment. As more and more travelers take a trip to those remote places, this lead to a contruction of new shops and pub or coffee shops opening until midnigh. As a result, the peaceful life of local communities can become chaotic and lose their unique environment.

However, these aforementioned issues can be addressed by the following solutions. Firstly, it is essential to raise public awareness about the significance of cultural values in these place. Some programs should be incorporated by travel agency during the tour, which includes introduction about uniqueness, traditions and customs and organizing some real-life experence for visitors. This not only deepen their understanding about these places but also preserve their unique cultures there. Secondly, local authorities or government should impose stricter regulation about the quantity of visitors and activities being allowed. With limitation about the influx of people and unfavourable activities, the way of life as well as their living standards can be well-preserved and develop in a positive way.

In conclusion, the activities of eco-tourism to remote areas can be harmful to their cultural heritage and the life of local residents. Nevertheless, these adverse impacts can be solved by public education and more effective regulations. It is predicted that if these remedies are implemented properly, these aforementioned concerns will be alleviated soon.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"eco-tourism which allows visitors to travel to remote places" -> "eco-tourism that enables visitors to travel to remote areas"
Explanation: The phrase "which allows" is somewhat informal and vague. "That enables" is more precise and formal, and "remote areas" is a more specific term than "remote places."
"will be detrimental to the cultures and the life of local communities" -> "may be detrimental to the cultures and the lives of local communities"
Explanation: "Will be" implies certainty, which may not be justified without evidence. "May be" is more cautious and appropriate for academic writing. Also, "lives" should be plural to match "communities."
"public’s awareness" -> "public awareness"
Explanation: The possessive form "public’s" is unnecessary and can be simplified to "public awareness" for clarity and formality.
"As the eco-tourism become increasingly popular" -> "As eco-tourism becomes increasingly popular"
Explanation: "Becomes" should be used instead of "become" for subject-verb agreement with the singular noun "eco-tourism."
"can pose a serious threat to the culture identity" -> "can pose a serious threat to cultural identity"
Explanation: "Culture identity" is redundant; "cultural identity" is the correct term.
"the aim to make profit" -> "the aim of making a profit"
Explanation: "The aim to make profit" is grammatically incorrect. "The aim of making a profit" corrects the preposition and verb form.
"commercialize the products and services in those place" -> "commercialize products and services in these places"
Explanation: "Those place" is grammatically incorrect; "these places" is the correct form. Also, "products and services" should not be modified by "the" as they are general terms.
"mass production of different goods develop to meet the growing demands" -> "mass production of various goods develops to meet the growing demand"
Explanation: "Develop" should be singular to agree with "production," and "various" is more precise than "different." Also, "demand" should be singular to match "develops."
"this lead to a contruction of new shops and pub or coffee shops opening until midnigh" -> "this leads to the construction of new shops and pubs or coffee shops opening until midnight"
Explanation: "This lead" is grammatically incorrect; "this leads" is correct. "Construction" should be used instead of "contruction," and "midnigh" should be "midnight" for correct spelling.
"the peaceful life of local communities can become chaotic and lose their unique environment" -> "the peaceful lives of local communities may become chaotic and lose their unique environments"
Explanation: "Lives" should be plural to match "communities," and "environments" should be plural to reflect the multiple aspects of environment that can be affected.
"Some programs should be incorporated by travel agency" -> "Some programs should be incorporated by travel agencies"
Explanation: "Travel agency" should be plural to reflect the generalization intended, as multiple agencies may be involved.
"organizing some real-life experence for visitors" -> "organizing some real-life experiences for visitors"
Explanation: "Experence" is a typographical error; "experiences" is the correct form.
"With limitation about the influx of people and unfavourable activities" -> "With limitations on the influx of people and unfavorable activities"
Explanation: "Limitation" should be plural to match "are," and "unfavourable" should be "unfavorable" for American English consistency.
"the way of life as well as their living standards can be well-preserved and develop in a positive way" -> "the way of life and their living standards can be well-preserved and develop positively"
Explanation: "Develop in a positive way" is redundant; "develop positively" is more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the problems associated with eco-tourism, such as the loss of cultural identity and changes to local life. The author also proposes measures to mitigate these issues, including raising public awareness and implementing government regulations. However, while the problems are identified, the solutions could be more specific and detailed. For instance, the mention of "programs should be incorporated by travel agency" lacks concrete examples of what these programs might entail.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more specific examples of problems and solutions. For instance, discussing particular types of regulations or awareness campaigns that have been successful in other regions could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that eco-tourism can negatively impact local cultures and communities, which is consistently supported throughout the text. The introduction clearly states this viewpoint, and the conclusion reiterates it effectively. However, the transition between discussing problems and solutions could be smoother to reinforce the overall stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of problems to the proposed solutions. For example, explicitly stating how each solution directly addresses the problems mentioned would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the negative impacts of eco-tourism and offers solutions. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For instance, the explanation of how mass production of goods affects cultural identity is somewhat vague and could benefit from further elaboration. Additionally, the solutions proposed, such as raising public awareness, are mentioned but not deeply explored.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should aim to expand on each idea with more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, providing a specific case study of a location where eco-tourism has impacted local culture would add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the impacts of eco-tourism and the measures to protect local cultures. However, there are moments where the argument could be more tightly focused. For example, the discussion about the construction of new shops could be more explicitly linked to the overall theme of cultural disruption.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main argument. This could involve revising sentences that stray from the core topic and ensuring that every example provided is relevant to the impacts of eco-tourism on local cultures.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, it would benefit from more specific examples, clearer transitions, and deeper exploration of ideas. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main argument and the problems associated with eco-tourism. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the problems and then propose solutions. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition from discussing the problems to the solutions could be more explicit. The use of phrases like "However" at the beginning of the third paragraph indicates a shift but does not fully connect the ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer transitional phrases that explicitly link the problems to the solutions. For example, after discussing the problems, a sentence like "To mitigate these issues, several measures can be implemented" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects its main idea would help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are distinct, which aids readability. However, some paragraphs could benefit from more internal organization. For example, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be broken down into separate sentences or even sub-points to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Consider using a topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to summarize its content. Additionally, if a paragraph contains multiple ideas, consider breaking it into two paragraphs for better clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "for example," and "however," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, in the second body paragraph, the transition between the examples provided could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "consequently" to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help to create a more cohesive flow throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, enhancing transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will further improve clarity and flow, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of eco-tourism. Words such as "detrimental," "cultural heritage," and "commercialize" show an attempt to use more sophisticated language. However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "remote places" is used multiple times, which could be substituted with synonyms like "isolated regions" or "distant locales" to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate more synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting could help in finding alternative expressions. Additionally, practicing writing on various topics can help in expanding vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For instance, the phrase "the aim to make profit from this potential industry" could be more clearly expressed as "the desire to profit from this burgeoning industry." Moreover, the term "culture identity" should be corrected to "cultural identity" to reflect accurate usage.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on context and ensure that the vocabulary used accurately conveys the intended meaning. Reading academic articles or essays on similar topics can help in understanding how to use vocabulary more effectively. Additionally, revising sentences for clarity before finalizing them can prevent imprecise language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "contruction" (should be "construction"), "midnigh" (should be "midnight"), and "experence" (should be "experience"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can distract the reader from the content.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging in regular writing exercises that emphasize correct spelling can also help reinforce this skill.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and attempts to use a variety of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in lexical range, precision, and spelling. Focusing on these aspects will enhance the overall quality of the writing and contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and varied clause usage. For example, the phrase "this kind of tourism can pose a serious threat to the culture identity in remote areas" effectively employs a complex structure. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of variety in the use of conjunctions, which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous. The use of phrases like "this lead to a contruction of new shops" indicates a need for more sophisticated sentence connectors and transitions.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using different sentence openings and incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this" or "another reason," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In addition to this," or "Moreover," to create a smoother flow and more engaging narrative.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from its overall clarity and professionalism. For instance, "the eco-tourism which allows visitors" should be "eco-tourism, which allows visitors," to correctly use a non-defining relative clause. Additionally, "the aim to make profit" should be "the aim of making a profit." There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas that could clarify meaning, particularly in complex sentences. The phrase "this lead to a contruction of new shops" contains a subject-verb agreement error ("lead" should be "leads") and a spelling error ("contruction" should be "construction").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and the correct formation of verb phrases. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focused on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used appropriately in complex sentences will enhance clarity. Reading well-structured essays can also provide insights into correct grammatical usage and punctuation.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, addressing the identified weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that eco-tourism, which allows visitors to travel to remote places, will be detrimental to the cultures and lives of local communities living there. This tendency can lead to the loss of cultural heritage and an increased cost of living. However, these problems can be tackled by public awareness and government regulations.

As eco-tourism becomes increasingly popular, several issues can be anticipated. First and foremost, this kind of tourism can pose a serious threat to cultural identity in remote areas. This is because, with the aim of making a profit from this potential industry, many people tend to commercialize the products and services in those places. For example, instead of selling traditional handcrafts, which contain valuable meanings, the mass production of different goods develops to meet the growing demands of visitors. Another reason lies in the changes to local life due to eco-tourism. An illustrative example in this case is some ancient towns that are popular for their tranquil and quiet environments. As more and more travelers visit these remote places, this leads to the construction of new shops and pubs or coffee shops opening until midnight. As a result, the peaceful lives of local communities can become chaotic and lose their unique environments.

However, these aforementioned issues can be addressed by the following solutions. Firstly, it is essential to raise public awareness about the significance of cultural values in these places. Some programs should be incorporated by travel agencies during the tour, which include introductions about uniqueness, traditions, and customs, as well as organizing some real-life experiences for visitors. This not only deepens their understanding of these places but also helps preserve their unique cultures. Secondly, local authorities or the government should impose stricter regulations about the quantity of visitors and activities being allowed. With limitations on the influx of people and unfavorable activities, the way of life and their living standards can be well-preserved and develop positively.

In conclusion, the activities of eco-tourism in remote areas can be harmful to their cultural heritage and the lives of local residents. Nevertheless, these adverse impacts can be mitigated by public education and more effective regulations. It is predicted that if these remedies are implemented properly, these concerns will be alleviated soon.