Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right & as such, should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowaday, with the rapid development in all aspects of society, education is necessary for each person to keep up with this development. Therefore, there is an opinion that education should be free for everyone, regardless of rich or poor in the education system. In this article, I will present my half-agreement and the reasons for my opinion.
On the one hand, free education for everyone promotes educational development for the country. First, illiteracy will be minimized, people with economic difficulties can Opportunity to go to school or educational establishments, where everyone from children to the elderly can access basic knowledge. When everyone becomes literate, their lives will become better and they will have more jobs when most occupations now require a university degree. In addition, free education for everyone provides an equal education regardless of social position. Furthermore, this helps the country have abundant and talented human resources, develop development in all aspects of the country, for example economy, education, tourism, etc.
On the other hand, there are many opinions opposing free tuition for everyone, because some people People think that people's tax money should be used to provide for the poor and increase social security rather than distributing it to education like that. That is suitable for developing countries, because the economy is not stable and people's lives are still poor. We agree that literacy is important, but this change process takes a long time and is not suitable. compatible with reality. In addition, free education puts a financial burden on the education sector. The facilities and quality of education will no longer be of high quality due to budget shortages. Most importantly, teachers will be affected. heavy due to lack of salary or reduced salary.
In short, free education is a good thing, but depending on the country's development situation, the government needs to have clear and appropriate policies for each subject.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowaday" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Nowaday" is a nonstandard term and "currently" is the correct and formal alternative, suitable for academic writing.
"necessary for each person to keep up with this development" -> "essential for individuals to adapt to this development"
Explanation: "Essential" is more precise and formal than "necessary," and "individuals" is a more formal term than "each person."
"there is an opinion that" -> "it is argued that"
Explanation: "It is argued that" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce an opinion or viewpoint.
"half-agreement" -> "partial agreement"
Explanation: "Partial agreement" is a more precise and formal term than "half-agreement," which is colloquial.
"people with economic difficulties can Opportunity" -> "individuals with economic difficulties can access"
Explanation: "Access" is the correct verb in this context, replacing the incorrect "Opportunity."
"everyone from children to the elderly" -> "individuals of all ages"
Explanation: "Individuals of all ages" is a more formal and inclusive phrase than "everyone from children to the elderly."
"most occupations now require a university degree" -> "many occupations currently require a university degree"
Explanation: "Many" is more precise than "most," and "currently" is more formal than "now."
"free education for everyone provides an equal education" -> "free education for all ensures equal access to education"
Explanation: "Ensures equal access to education" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of equal opportunities in education.
"develop development" -> "foster development"
Explanation: "Foster" is the correct verb to use in this context, meaning to promote or support development.
"people People think" -> "some people think"
Explanation: Removing the duplicate "people" corrects the grammatical error and improves readability.
"people’s tax money should be used to provide for the poor and increase social security" -> "tax revenue should be allocated to support the disadvantaged and enhance social welfare"
Explanation: "Tax revenue" is a more formal term than "people’s tax money," and "allocate" is more precise than "should be used."
"That is suitable for developing countries" -> "This approach is suitable for developing countries"
Explanation: "This approach" clarifies the subject being discussed, making the sentence more formal and clear.
"We agree that literacy is important, but this change process takes a long time and is not suitable." -> "While literacy is crucial, implementing this change is a lengthy and impractical process."
Explanation: "Crucial" is more formal than "important," and "implementing this change is a lengthy and impractical process" is a more precise and formal way to express the challenges of change.
"free education puts a financial burden on the education sector" -> "free education imposes a financial burden on the education sector"
Explanation: "Imposes" is a more formal and precise verb than "puts," fitting the academic style better.
"The facilities and quality of education will no longer be of high quality due to budget shortages." -> "The quality of educational facilities and the quality of education will likely deteriorate due to budget constraints."
Explanation: "Deteriorate" is a more precise term than "will no longer be of high quality," and "budget constraints" is a more formal term than "budget shortages."
"teachers will be affected. heavy due to lack of salary or reduced salary." -> "teachers will be significantly impacted due to salary reductions or lack of salary increases."
Explanation: "Significantly impacted" is more formal than "affected," and "salary reductions or lack of salary increases" is clearer and more precise than "lack of salary or reduced salary."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether education should be free for everyone. The author presents a balanced view, stating a "half-agreement" which indicates an understanding of the complexity of the issue. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer delineation of the two perspectives. For instance, while the benefits of free education are discussed, the opposing viewpoint lacks depth and specific examples, which could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the author should clearly outline the pros and cons of free education with specific examples and evidence. For instance, including statistics on literacy rates or examples of countries that have implemented free education successfully would provide a stronger foundation for the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay indicates a position of "half-agreement," but this stance is somewhat ambiguous and could confuse the reader. The introduction suggests a clear opinion, but the body paragraphs oscillate between supporting free education and presenting counterarguments without a strong resolution. This lack of clarity can detract from the overall effectiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should explicitly state their stance in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the author’s viewpoint. Additionally, a concluding statement that reaffirms the position would provide a stronger closure.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of free education, such as reducing illiteracy and promoting equal opportunities. However, these ideas are not fully extended or supported with detailed examples or evidence. For instance, while the essay mentions that free education can lead to a more educated workforce, it does not provide specific examples of how this has been realized in practice.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the author should include specific examples, statistics, or case studies that illustrate the points made. For example, discussing a country that has successfully implemented free education and the positive outcomes that followed would strengthen the argument significantly.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of free education. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly unfocused, particularly in the second body paragraph where the author mentions the burden on the education sector without clearly linking it back to the main argument about free education.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the author should ensure that each point made directly supports their overall argument. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and keep the discussion aligned with the main thesis. Additionally, avoiding tangential points that do not directly relate to the question will strengthen the essay’s coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it can be improved by providing clearer positions, more detailed support for ideas, and maintaining focus throughout the discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s position, indicating a balanced view. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of free education, while the second addresses the opposing viewpoint. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the two paragraphs feels abrupt, and the connection between ideas within paragraphs could be stronger.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "On the contrary") at the beginning of paragraphs can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is crucial for coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the paragraphs could benefit from more uniformity in length and depth. The first paragraph is more developed than the second, which may lead to an imbalance in the argument’s presentation.
- How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by ensuring that each one contains a similar number of supporting details and examples. This can be achieved by expanding on the points made in the second paragraph, perhaps by providing specific examples or statistics that illustrate the drawbacks of free education.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "in addition," and "on the other hand," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "that is suitable for developing countries" lacks a clear antecedent, which may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "consequently," "therefore," "for instance," and "moreover." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly and that it clearly connects the ideas it is meant to link. This will enhance the overall clarity and flow of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on the logical organization of ideas, balancing paragraph development, and expanding the use of cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "illiteracy," "economic difficulties," "educational development," and "human resources." However, the use of phrases such as "people with economic difficulties can Opportunity to go to school" indicates a limited range and awkward phrasing. The phrase "develop development" is redundant and suggests a lack of vocabulary variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "education" or "develop," alternatives like "learning," "instruction," or "advancement" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "afford access to education" instead of "can Opportunity to go to school" would improve clarity and sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary. For example, "people’s tax money should be used to provide for the poor" could be more accurately expressed as "tax revenue should be allocated to social welfare programs." The phrase "this change process takes a long time and is not suitable" lacks clarity and precision, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their ideas. Instead of vague terms like "change process," they could specify "the transition to free education" or "the implementation of free education policies." Encouraging the use of contextually appropriate terms will enhance the overall clarity of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Nowaday" (should be "Nowadays") and "Opportunity" (should be "opportunity"). Additionally, the phrase "the country have abundant and talented human resources" contains a grammatical error, which affects the overall impression of spelling and syntax.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing practice exercises focused on commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Regular reading can improve familiarity with correct spelling and grammar structures.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "When everyone becomes literate, their lives will become better and they will have more jobs when most occupations now require a university degree" shows an attempt to convey complex ideas. However, there are also instances of simpler structures that could be diversified further, such as "that is suitable for developing countries, because the economy is not stable." This could be rephrased to enhance complexity and fluency.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more compound-complex sentences and varied introductory phrases. For example, instead of starting sentences with "In addition" or "On the one hand," the writer could use phrases like "Moreover," "Conversely," or "In contrast," to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence beginnings and varying the length of sentences can contribute to a more dynamic writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "can Opportunity to go to school" contains a capitalization error and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "because some people People think that people’s tax money should be used…" where "People" is incorrectly capitalized and the sentence structure is convoluted.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For instance, the phrase "the education sector" should be used consistently to refer to the specific sector being discussed. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding comma usage in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. A practical approach would be to proofread the essay for common grammatical errors and to practice writing sentences that require different punctuation marks, such as semicolons and colons, to improve overall accuracy.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for its effective use of a range of structures and generally accurate grammar, there are clear areas for improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, with the rapid development in all aspects of society, education is necessary for each person to keep up with this development. Therefore, there is an opinion that education should be free for everyone, regardless of whether they are rich or poor in the education system. In this article, I will present my partial agreement and the reasons for my opinion.

On the one hand, free education for everyone promotes educational development for the country. First, illiteracy will be minimized, and individuals with economic difficulties can access educational establishments, where everyone from children to the elderly can gain basic knowledge. When everyone becomes literate, their lives will improve, and they will have more job opportunities, as many occupations currently require a university degree. In addition, free education for everyone provides equal access to education regardless of social position. Furthermore, this helps the country develop abundant and talented human resources, fostering development in all aspects of the country, such as the economy, education, tourism, etc.

On the other hand, there are many opinions opposing free tuition for everyone, because some people think that tax revenue should be allocated to support the disadvantaged and enhance social welfare rather than distributing it to education in this way. This approach is suitable for developing countries, as the economy is not stable and people’s lives are still poor. While literacy is crucial, implementing this change is a lengthy and impractical process. In addition, free education imposes a financial burden on the education sector. The quality of educational facilities and the quality of education will likely deteriorate due to budget constraints. Most importantly, teachers will be significantly impacted due to salary reductions or lack of salary increases.

In short, free education is a good thing, but depending on the country’s development situation, the government needs to have clear and appropriate policies for each context.