Every year, several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Every year, several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies develop and evolve. Some believe that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages should be cause for concern .
It is true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First and foremost, business transactions are much simpler when the two parties concerned can understand each other well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is mutual understanding . Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and this could be seen as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in more remote areas . If people in those areas work in tourism, or international trade, they must adopt the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with each new generation, their mother tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable .
Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant . Language has a multitude of uses that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our mother tongue is used to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more difficult to convey when using a second language. Language also plays an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost, part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for the people concerned.
In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business, and makes transactions easier, I completely disagree with the view that the continued loss of languages is unimportant . The variety of native languages and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"native languages" -> "indigenous languages"
Explanation: The term "indigenous languages" is more precise and academically appropriate when referring to languages native to a particular region or culture, emphasizing their historical and cultural significance.
"develop and evolve" -> "develop and progress"
Explanation: "Progress" is a more formal and precise term than "evolve" in this context, suggesting a more deliberate and structured change over time.
"unimportant" -> "insignificant"
Explanation: "Insignificant" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "unimportant," which can sound too casual and vague in an academic context.
"cause for concern" -> "a matter of concern"
Explanation: "A matter of concern" is a more formal expression that enhances the academic tone, suggesting a serious and deliberative consideration of the issue.
"much simpler" -> "significantly simpler"
Explanation: "Significantly" adds a quantitative dimension to the comparison, making the statement more precise and formal.
"dealt with much faster" -> "addressed more efficiently"
Explanation: "Addressed more efficiently" is a more formal and precise way to describe the improved speed and effectiveness of communication.
"largely responsible" -> "primarily responsible"
Explanation: "Primarily responsible" is a more specific and formal term that emphasizes the main cause more strongly.
"more widely used languages" -> "more widely spoken languages"
Explanation: "More widely spoken languages" is a more accurate description, as it specifically refers to languages used in everyday conversation.
"less used" -> "less commonly used"
Explanation: "Less commonly used" is a more precise and formal expression, enhancing the academic tone.
"makes the loss of some languages inevitable" -> "ensures the loss of certain languages"
Explanation: "Ensures" is a stronger, more formal verb that conveys a sense of certainty and inevitability, fitting the academic style better.
"does not mean the loss is insignificant" -> "does not imply that the loss is insignificant"
Explanation: Adding "that" clarifies the relationship between the two clauses, making the sentence more formal and precise.
"Our mother tongue" -> "one’s native language"
Explanation: "One’s native language" is a more formal and inclusive way to refer to the language spoken from birth, avoiding the possessive form "Our."
"are much more difficult" -> "are significantly more challenging"
Explanation: "Significantly more challenging" is a more formal and precise way to describe the increased difficulty, aligning better with academic standards.
"part of the community and culture also disappears" -> "a part of the community and culture also disappears"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "part" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more formal and precise.
"I completely disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree" is a more formal expression, suitable for academic writing, where assertiveness should be tempered with formality.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages of having fewer languages and the significant drawbacks associated with the loss of languages. The author acknowledges the perspective that fewer languages might simplify communication, particularly in business and travel, while also presenting a strong counterargument regarding the cultural and emotional importance of languages. The essay clearly outlines the dual nature of the issue, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay already excels in addressing all parts of the question, further elaboration on specific examples of languages that have disappeared and their cultural significance could enhance the depth of the argument. This would provide a more nuanced view of the implications of language loss.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear and consistent position throughout the essay, firmly disagreeing with the notion that the loss of languages is unimportant. This is evident in the concluding statement, which reiterates the value of linguistic diversity and its contribution to cultural richness. The essay’s structure supports this position, with each paragraph reinforcing the central argument.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could include a brief mention of potential solutions or actions that could be taken to preserve endangered languages. This would not only solidify the stance but also provide a proactive angle to the discussion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, particularly in the discussion of the emotional and cultural significance of language. The author effectively extends these ideas by linking language to identity and community, providing a compelling rationale for why the loss of languages should be a concern. The use of examples related to business and tourism helps to support the argument that while fewer languages may simplify communication, the broader implications are detrimental.
- How to improve: The essay could benefit from additional examples or statistics to support the claims made about the emotional and cultural roles of language. For instance, referencing studies that illustrate the psychological impact of losing one’s mother tongue could add weight to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the implications of language loss without deviating into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, maintaining relevance to the prompt. The transitions between points are smooth, ensuring that the reader can easily follow the author’s line of reasoning.
- How to improve: To maintain focus even more effectively, the author could consider explicitly linking back to the prompt in the concluding remarks. A brief summary of how the discussed points relate back to the question could reinforce the essay’s coherence and ensure that the reader is reminded of the central issue being addressed.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS, with only minor suggestions for enhancement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and stating the writer’s position. Each body paragraph presents a distinct argument, with the first focusing on the advantages of a common language in business and travel, while the second addresses the cultural significance of language. This separation of ideas helps the reader follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of fewer languages to the cultural implications is smooth, allowing for a coherent flow of thought.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit transition phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "On the other hand" could signal a shift in perspective more clearly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea would strengthen the overall structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph is focused and contains relevant information that supports the overall argument. The introduction and conclusion are also well-defined, framing the discussion clearly. The body paragraphs are appropriately developed, with sufficient detail and examples to support the claims made.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider varying the length and structure of the paragraphs to create a more dynamic reading experience. For example, the second body paragraph could be split into two shorter paragraphs: one focusing on the emotional aspects of language and the other on cultural identity. This would allow for more detailed exploration of each point and enhance the overall impact of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a good range of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "thanks to," and "thus," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. The use of these devices contributes to the clarity of the essay and allows the reader to follow the writer’s reasoning without confusion. The cohesive devices used are appropriate and effectively link sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking phrases and conjunctions. For example, using phrases like "in addition," "furthermore," or "conversely" can enhance the richness of the text and provide clearer connections between contrasting ideas. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are not overused in a way that may lead to redundancy; varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging writing style.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting a well-structured argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "native languages," "globalization," "business transactions," and "cultural identity." The writer effectively uses varied expressions to convey ideas, which enhances the overall quality of the essay. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more diverse. For example, the phrase "made easier" is somewhat basic and could be replaced with alternatives like "facilitated" or "streamlined" to elevate the language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated phrases. For example, instead of repeating "easier," the writer could use "simplified" or "more efficient" in different contexts. Engaging with academic texts or advanced vocabulary lists could help in expanding lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "mutual understanding" and "express our deepest feelings" effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, there are moments of imprecision, such as "the loss is insignificant," where a more nuanced term like "trivial" or "negligible" could better capture the writer’s stance on the importance of language preservation.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on context and connotation when selecting words. It would be beneficial to practice paraphrasing sentences and exploring synonyms to find the most fitting word for the context. Additionally, reviewing feedback on word choice in previous essays can help identify patterns of imprecision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with no significant errors that could detract from the reader’s understanding. Words like "inevitable," "community," and "emotions" are spelled correctly, showcasing a solid grasp of spelling conventions. However, attention to detail is crucial, as even minor spelling mistakes can impact the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should consider implementing a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, but there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "If people in those areas work in tourism, or international trade, they must adopt the more widely used languages of the world" effectively convey conditionality and consequence. Additionally, the use of varied sentence openings, such as "First and foremost" and "Nevertheless," enhances the flow and coherence of the argument. However, while the essay employs a good range of structures, there are instances where more sophisticated structures could be utilized, such as incorporating more subordinate clauses or participial phrases to add complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider using more complex forms such as relative clauses (e.g., "which are often overlooked") or varying the placement of adverbial phrases (e.g., "In many cultures, language serves not only as a means of communication but also as a vessel for cultural heritage"). Practicing the integration of these structures into your writing can enhance the overall sophistication and depth of your arguments.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "should be cause for concern" could be more accurately expressed as "should be a cause for concern." Additionally, punctuation is mostly correct, although there are a few instances where commas could improve clarity, such as before "which are much more difficult to convey when using a second language" to separate the clause from the main sentence. Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical correctness, which contributes positively to the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay attention to articles and prepositions, ensuring they are used correctly in context. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can help clarify meaning and improve readability. Consider revising sentences that feel overly long or convoluted to ensure that each part is clearly articulated. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on your writing can also aid in identifying and correcting recurring errors.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, you can work towards achieving an even higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy in future IELTS essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In some parts of the world, indigenous languages are being lost as societies develop and progress. Some believe that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages should be a matter of concern.

It is true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First and foremost, business transactions are significantly simpler when the two parties concerned can understand each other well. Travel problems can also be addressed more efficiently when there is mutual understanding. Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and this could be seen as primarily responsible for the disappearance of languages in more remote areas. If people in those areas work in tourism or international trade, they must adopt the more widely spoken languages of the world. Thus, with each new generation, their native language becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire to make life simpler ensures the loss of certain languages is inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not imply that the loss is insignificant. Language has a multitude of uses that go far beyond tourism and business communication. One’s native language is used to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are significantly more challenging to convey when using a second language. Language also plays an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost, a part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business and makes transactions easier, I strongly disagree with the view that the continued loss of languages is unimportant. The variety of indigenous languages and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly.