Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programs regardless of their level of academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programs regardless of their level of academic ability.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is controversial regard to the question whether all citizens have rights to engaging in the third-class education, no matter of their level of learning capacity. Personally, I disagree with this suggestion based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay.
On the one hand, there are some persuasive rationales that supports the claim that students of all academic levels should be allowed to achieve a certicate or bachelor’s degree. In this day and age, people who want to get a good job or have a desire to progress in career, bachelor degree and certificate has played a crucial role in serving these needs. Therefore, if all citizens received a right to study in third-class education, there would be a positive transfomation in the whole population’s life quality, and even contribute to develop the national workforce as well as national economic.
On the other hand, despite the idealistic of make the educational available for everyone without checking their academic level, its actual application could bring about many obstacles and problems. this implement might brings a bad output for some student with low level of academic, due to fail in confronting with the depression of intense curriculums. Besides, students might find different ways to treat in examination to pass their semesters, brings to society many low quality of employee that can affect people lives with the country’s development as well.
In conclusion, although there are mixed opinions on whether everyone with any academic skill should be allowed to access university or college programs, I think that student should have an entrance examination to ensure their ability in following to university and college.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is controversial regard to" -> "There is controversy regarding"
Explanation: "Controversial regard" is grammatically incorrect. "Controversy regarding" is the correct phrase, which is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"engaging in the third-class education" -> "pursuing third-class education"
Explanation: "Engaging in" is somewhat informal and vague in this context. "Pursuing" is more precise and academically suitable, indicating a deliberate effort to achieve a goal.
"no matter of their level of learning capacity" -> "regardless of their learning capacity"
Explanation: "No matter of" is incorrect. "Regardless of" is the correct phrase, which is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"Personally, I disagree" -> "I disagree"
Explanation: "Personally" is redundant in this context as "I" already indicates the author’s perspective. Removing it enhances the formality and conciseness of the statement.
"some major reasons" -> "significant reasons"
Explanation: "Major" can be vague and informal in this context. "Significant" is more precise and formal, fitting better in academic discourse.
"supports the claim" -> "supports this claim"
Explanation: Adding "this" clarifies that the support is for the specific claim being discussed, enhancing clarity and formality.
"a certicate or bachelor’s degree" -> "a certificate or bachelor’s degree"
Explanation: "Certicate" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "certificate" maintains professionalism and accuracy.
"In this day and age" -> "currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"has played a crucial role" -> "plays a crucial role"
Explanation: Using the present tense "plays" instead of the past tense "has played" aligns better with the ongoing relevance of the statement in contemporary society.
"there would be a positive transfomation" -> "there would be a positive transformation"
Explanation: "Transfomation" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "transformation" maintains the integrity of the text.
"the whole population’s life quality" -> "the overall quality of life for the population"
Explanation: "The whole population’s life quality" is awkward and unclear. "The overall quality of life for the population" is more precise and formal.
"its actual application could bring about many obstacles and problems" -> "its practical application could pose numerous challenges"
Explanation: "Bring about" is somewhat informal and vague. "Pose numerous challenges" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic style.
"this implement might brings" -> "this implementation might bring"
Explanation: "Implement" is incorrect in this context; "implementation" is the correct term. Also, "brings" should be "bring" to maintain grammatical agreement.
"due to fail in confronting with the depression of intense curriculums" -> "due to failing to cope with the intensity of the curricula"
Explanation: "Due to fail in confronting with the depression of intense curriculums" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammar.
"treat in examination" -> "cope with examinations"
Explanation: "Treat in examination" is unclear and incorrect. "Cope with examinations" is the correct phrase, providing a clear and formal expression.
"low quality of employee" -> "low-quality employees"
Explanation: "Low quality of employee" is grammatically incorrect. "Low-quality employees" is the correct form, maintaining grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"can affect people lives with the country’s development" -> "can affect people’s lives and the country’s development"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammatical structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether everyone should have access to university education, but it does not fully explore the implications of the statement. The writer states their disagreement with the idea and provides reasons for this stance, but the discussion lacks depth. For instance, while the essay mentions the potential benefits of allowing all citizens access to education, it does not adequately explore the consequences of restricting access based on academic ability.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed. This includes not only discussing the benefits of open access to education but also elaborating on the potential drawbacks of such a policy, as well as providing a more nuanced view of the middle ground. Including specific examples or case studies could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position against unrestricted access to university education, stating that an entrance examination should be implemented. However, the position is somewhat undermined by vague language and inconsistent phrasing, such as "third-class education," which may confuse readers. The use of terms like "idealistic" without clear context also detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use precise language and clearly define key terms. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in different sections of the essay can help reinforce the position. A strong thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of the main points in the conclusion would also help clarify the stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the importance of education for job prospects and the potential negative outcomes of unrestricted access. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with concrete examples. The mention of "low quality of employee" is vague and lacks specific evidence or illustrations that could make the argument more compelling.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This can be achieved by providing specific examples, statistics, or real-world scenarios that illustrate the argument. Additionally, using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph can help structure the essay and guide the reader through the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the admission policies for university education. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as when discussing "the depression of intense curriculums," which could be seen as a tangential issue rather than a direct response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main argument about university admission policies. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all points made are relevant and contribute to the overall argument. Regularly referring back to the prompt while writing can also help keep the discussion on track.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents a clear position, it requires more depth in argumentation, clearer language, and stronger support for ideas to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the idea that all individuals should have unrestricted access to higher education. The introduction sets the stage by outlining the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are structured to present both sides of the argument, which is a strength. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of access to education to the potential drawbacks is somewhat abrupt. This can lead to confusion about the overall flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Conversely," "On the other hand," "Furthermore") can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is essential for coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph lacks a clear structure, making it harder to follow. For instance, the sentence "this implement might brings a bad output for some student with low level of academic" is awkwardly phrased and disrupts the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. Additionally, consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences to enhance clarity. For example, instead of combining multiple thoughts in one sentence, separate them for better readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast different viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as "this implement might brings a bad output." This can detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "In addition," "Consequently") to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that all cohesive devices are grammatically correct and appropriately used within the context of the sentence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "controversial," "persuasive rationales," and "intense curriculums." However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition, such as "students" and "academic level." Additionally, phrases like "third-class education" are vague and could be more precisely defined. The use of "major reasons" is also quite generic and could be replaced with more specific terms.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "students," alternatives like "learners," "pupils," or "candidates" could be employed. Furthermore, defining terms more clearly, such as specifying what is meant by "third-class education," would improve clarity and precision.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "rights to engaging in the third-class education" is awkward and unclear; it would be better phrased as "right to access higher education." The term "bad output" is also vague and could be replaced with more precise language, such as "negative outcomes." Additionally, "the idealistic of make the educational available" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This includes revising awkward phrases and ensuring that terms are used in their correct context. For instance, instead of "bad output," the writer could say "negative consequences," and instead of "the idealistic of make the educational available," a clearer expression would be "the ideal of making education accessible."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "certicate" (certificate), "transfomation" (transformation), "this implement" (this implementation), and "brings" (bring). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and flashcards for commonly misspelled words can be beneficial. Reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("I disagree with this suggestion") and compound sentences ("there would be a positive transformation in the whole population’s life quality, and even contribute to develop the national workforce as well as national economic"). However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For example, phrases like "the idealistic of make the educational available" and "this implement might brings a bad output" reflect a lack of complexity and fluency in structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "there are some persuasive rationales that supports the claim," the writer could say, "While there are persuasive rationales supporting the claim, it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks." Additionally, practicing sentence combining exercises can help create more sophisticated sentence forms.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, "no matter of their level of learning capacity" should be "regardless of their level of learning capacity," and "this implement might brings a bad output" should be "this implementation might bring about negative outcomes." Furthermore, there are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., "supports" should be "support") and improper capitalization (e.g., "this implement" should begin with a capital letter). Punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences, also affect readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular grammar exercises, such as identifying and correcting errors in sample sentences, can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, will help the writer use commas and other punctuation marks correctly. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, enhancing the variety and accuracy of grammatical structures will significantly improve the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is controversy regarding the question of whether all citizens have the right to engage in third-class education, regardless of their level of learning capacity. Personally, I disagree with this suggestion based on some significant reasons that are explained in this essay.

On the one hand, there are some persuasive rationales that support the claim that students of all academic levels should be allowed to achieve a certificate or bachelor’s degree. In this day and age, people who want to get a good job or have a desire to progress in their careers find that a bachelor’s degree and certificate play a crucial role in serving these needs. Therefore, if all citizens received the right to study in third-class education, there would be a positive transformation in the overall quality of life for the population and even contribute to developing the national workforce as well as the national economy.

On the other hand, despite the idealism of making education available for everyone without checking their academic level, its practical application could pose numerous challenges and problems. This implementation might bring about negative outcomes for some students with low levels of academic ability, due to failing to cope with the intensity of the curricula. Besides, students might find different ways to cope with examinations to pass their semesters, leading to many low-quality employees that can affect people’s lives and the country’s development as well.

In conclusion, although there are mixed opinions on whether everyone with any academic skill should be allowed to access university or college programs, I think that students should have an entrance examination to ensure their ability to follow university and college courses.