Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil.
What are the reasons for this?
Is this a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, fewer people adopt traditional writing mediums using pens, pencils, or brushes. This inclination can be attributed to the prevalence of technology and the convenience it afforded the average user. However, I would contend that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.

In the digital era, writing by hand has been gradually supplanted by innovative devices. Applications such as tablets, computers, and smartphones enhance people's productivity and reduce the aggregate/total amount of time spent on working and studying. Word processing using these tools enables individuals to compose essays swiftly by typing and make drafting and editing easier due to the editing functions that do not require repeatedly erasing or crossing out words. These practical considerations explain why a surging number of IELTS and TOEFL candidates, particularly those with less legible illegible handwriting, prefer computer-based tests. Advanced technology also facilitates efficient document management and sharing via platforms like Cloud services or Google Drive. This practice is justifiably deemed superior to maintaining hard copies, which are more susceptible to damage over time.

While the decline of handwriting may offer certain legitimate/justified/concrete/convenient benefits, it also poses a threat to essential human attributes. Handwriting can be seen as an embodiment of an individual's perseverance, meticulousness, and creativity. Creating neat handwriting requires dedication intensive training from an early age, encouraging the one's virtue of patience and self-discipline. Practicing writing by hand also stimulates one's brain, especially the left hemisphere which fosters motor learning, logical thinking, and artistic talent. In certain cultures, such as in ChinaChinese, Japan, and Vietnamese, the traditional art of handwriting, – calligraphy, – is preserved as a cultural legacy that emphasizes superior control and skill when using brush and ink in various writing styles. If humans were to lose handwriting skills and rely solely on technology, human creative and cognitive ability would be significantly impaired.

To conclude, while the rise of technology has contributed to the decline of handwriting, the negative implications for the deterioration of traditional human skills are more substantial. Therefore, the pertinent authorities should strike a balance between promoting utilizing advanced technological literacy and preserving the art of handwriting.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"fewer people adopt" -> "fewer individuals adopt"
Explanation: Using "individuals" instead of "people" in this context enhances the formality and specificity of the language, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"traditional writing mediums" -> "traditional writing mediums"
Explanation: The term "mediums" is correct here, as it refers to the means or channels used for writing, not the plural form of "medium."
"the average user" -> "users"
Explanation: "Users" is more precise and formal than "the average user," which can be seen as vague and informal.
"the aggregate/total amount of time" -> "the total amount of time"
Explanation: "Aggregate" is not necessary here; "total" is sufficient and more straightforward.
"Word processing using these tools enables" -> "Word processing with these tools enables"
Explanation: "With" is more appropriate than "using" in this context, as it correctly indicates the relationship between the tools and the action of word processing.
"a surging number of IELTS and TOEFL candidates" -> "an increasing number of IELTS and TOEFL test-takers"
Explanation: "Test-takers" is a more specific and formal term than "candidates," which is more commonly used in academic contexts.
"less legible illegible handwriting" -> "illegible handwriting"
Explanation: "Less legible" is redundant when describing handwriting that is illegible; "illegible" alone is sufficient and more precise.
"justifiably deemed superior" -> "justifiably considered superior"
Explanation: "Considered" is more commonly used in formal academic writing than "deemed," which can sound slightly informal.
"legitimate/justified/concrete/convenient benefits" -> "legitimate benefits"
Explanation: The adjectives "justified" and "convenient" are redundant and less formal; "legitimate" alone is sufficient and maintains the formal tone.
"dedication intensive training" -> "intensive training"
Explanation: "Dedication" is not necessary here; "intensive" alone is sufficient to convey the meaning.
"the one’s virtue of patience and self-discipline" -> "the development of patience and self-discipline"
Explanation: "The one’s virtue" is awkward and unclear; "the development of" is more precise and academically appropriate.
"stimulates one’s brain" -> "stimulates the brain"
Explanation: "One’s brain" is informal and vague; "the brain" is more direct and formal.
"especially the left hemisphere which fosters" -> "particularly the left hemisphere, which fosters"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "hemisphere" improves the sentence structure and clarity.
"Chinese, Japan, and Vietnamese" -> "Chinese, Japanese, and Vietnamese"
Explanation: "Japan" should be "Japanese" to agree with the plural form "Vietnamese."
"the traditional art of handwriting, – calligraphy, -" -> "the traditional art of handwriting, including calligraphy"
Explanation: The dashes and the repeated "traditional" are unnecessary and can be removed for clarity and formality.
"If humans were to lose handwriting skills" -> "If handwriting skills were to be lost"
Explanation: "Were to be lost" is a more formal and passive construction, fitting the academic style better than "were to lose."
"the pertinent authorities" -> "the relevant authorities"
Explanation: "Relevant" is more precise and formal than "pertinent," which can be seen as slightly less formal in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies the reasons for the decline in handwriting, attributing it to technological advancements and convenience. The author also presents a clear argument regarding the negative implications of this trend, discussing the loss of essential human attributes and skills associated with handwriting. The essay’s structure allows for a comprehensive exploration of both aspects, with relevant examples provided to support the claims.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could provide more specific examples or statistics that illustrate the extent of the decline in handwriting. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments could strengthen the discussion and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the drawbacks of declining handwriting outweigh the benefits. This stance is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding paragraph. The use of phrases like "I would contend" and "the negative implications" signals a strong personal viewpoint, which is effectively communicated.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could explicitly acknowledge the benefits of technology in writing before contrasting them with the drawbacks. This would not only clarify the position but also demonstrate an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in discussing the benefits of technology and the cultural significance of handwriting. The author extends ideas by linking the decline of handwriting to broader implications for cognitive and creative abilities. However, some points could be developed further; for instance, the discussion on how handwriting fosters patience and self-discipline could include more specific examples or anecdotes.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of analysis, the author could elaborate on the cognitive benefits of handwriting with research findings or expert opinions. Additionally, providing personal anecdotes or examples from different cultures could enhance the richness of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the discussion consistently relates back to the decline of handwriting and its implications.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the author should ensure that all examples directly relate to the prompt. For instance, the mention of specific cultures and their calligraphy practices could be more explicitly tied to the argument about the importance of handwriting skills, ensuring that every point made reinforces the central thesis.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the author’s position. With some enhancements in the areas of evidence and depth of analysis, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage by presenting the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are structured to first discuss the reasons for the decline in handwriting, followed by an examination of its negative implications. This progression allows the reader to follow the argument easily. For instance, the transition from discussing technological advantages to the cultural and cognitive drawbacks is smooth and coherent.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. This will help reinforce the main argument and guide the reader through the essay’s structure. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear concluding sentence that summarizes the main point can further strengthen the organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which contributes to its overall coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, such as the advantages of technology in writing and the cultural significance of handwriting. However, some paragraphs, particularly the second one, could benefit from clearer internal structure, as they contain multiple ideas that could be more effectively segmented.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones that each tackle a single idea or point. For example, the second body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the cognitive benefits of handwriting and the other on its cultural significance. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transitional phrases, to connect ideas and maintain flow. Phrases like "however," "while," and "to conclude" effectively signal shifts in argument and help the reader navigate through the text. The use of cohesive devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing for a smooth reading experience.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "however," alternatives like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "nevertheless" could add variety and depth to the argument. Additionally, using referencing words (e.g., "this," "these," "such") more strategically can help to reinforce connections between sentences and ideas, making the text even more cohesive.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a strong command of coherence and cohesion principles. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "traditional writing mediums," "prevalence of technology," "innovative devices," and "document management." These choices reflect a strong understanding of the topic and contribute to the clarity of the argument. The use of phrases like "surging number" and "essential human attributes" also showcases the writer’s ability to employ varied expressions effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of using "convenience" multiple times, alternatives like "ease" or "accessibility" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more idiomatic expressions or collocations related to technology and handwriting could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "aggregate/total amount of time" is redundant; "aggregate" or "total" alone suffices. Additionally, the term "legible illegible handwriting" contains a contradiction that could confuse readers. The phrase "the one’s virtue of patience" is awkwardly constructed and should simply be "one’s virtue of patience."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review their sentences for clarity and conciseness. Avoiding redundancy and ensuring that modifiers accurately describe the nouns they accompany will enhance understanding. It may also be beneficial to have a peer review the essay to catch any awkward phrasing or contradictions.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, "ChinaChinese" is a typographical error that should be corrected to "China," and "intensive training" could be misinterpreted as "intensive training," which is also correct but could be misleading in context.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally after a short break to gain a fresh perspective. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify any overlooked errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can aid in avoiding similar mistakes in future writings.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s argument. By focusing on the suggested areas for improvement, the writer can elevate their lexical resource even further, potentially achieving a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively used, such as "While the decline of handwriting may offer certain legitimate benefits, it also poses a threat to essential human attributes." This showcases the writer’s ability to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of passive voice in "has been gradually supplanted" adds variety and sophistication. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, such as starting multiple sentences with "This" or "These," which could detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and lengths. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "This" or "These," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In addition to these benefits," or "Moreover, the convenience of technology cannot be overlooked." Additionally, varying the use of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay will create a more engaging and dynamic reading experience.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "the aggregate/total amount of time" contains a redundancy that could be streamlined for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "the one’s virtue of patience" contains an unnecessary article "the," which should be removed for grammatical correctness. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as after introductory phrases or clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch minor errors and redundancies. A focus on eliminating unnecessary articles and ensuring clarity in phrasing will enhance the overall quality. For punctuation, the writer should practice using commas to separate clauses and phrases correctly, particularly in complex sentences. For instance, adding a comma after "However" in the first sentence of the second paragraph would improve readability: "However, I would contend that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages."

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can further enhance their writing skills and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, fewer individuals adopt traditional writing mediums using pens, pencils, or brushes. This inclination can be attributed to the prevalence of technology and the convenience it affords the average user. However, I would contend that the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.

In the digital era, writing by hand has been gradually supplanted by innovative devices. Applications such as tablets, computers, and smartphones enhance people’s productivity and reduce the total amount of time spent on working and studying. Word processing with these tools enables individuals to compose essays swiftly by typing and makes drafting and editing easier due to the editing functions that do not require repeatedly erasing or crossing out words. These practical considerations explain why an increasing number of IELTS and TOEFL candidates, particularly those with less legible handwriting, prefer computer-based tests. Advanced technology also facilitates efficient document management and sharing via platforms like Cloud services or Google Drive. This practice is justifiably considered superior to maintaining hard copies, which are more susceptible to damage over time.

While the decline of handwriting may offer certain legitimate benefits, it also poses a threat to essential human attributes. Handwriting can be seen as an embodiment of an individual’s perseverance, meticulousness, and creativity. Creating neat handwriting requires intensive training from an early age, encouraging the development of patience and self-discipline. Practicing writing by hand also stimulates the brain, particularly the left hemisphere, which fosters motor learning, logical thinking, and artistic talent. In certain cultures, such as Chinese, Japanese, and Vietnamese, the traditional art of handwriting, including calligraphy, is preserved as a cultural legacy that emphasizes superior control and skill when using brush and ink in various writing styles. If handwriting skills were to be lost and humans relied solely on technology, human creative and cognitive ability would be significantly impaired.

To conclude, while the rise of technology has contributed to the decline of handwriting, the negative implications for the deterioration of traditional human skills are more substantial. Therefore, the relevant authorities should strike a balance between promoting advanced technological literacy and preserving the art of handwriting.